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It’s March 10th, 1981 and it is Remus’ twenty second birthday. There are no balloons, no cake, no birthday traditions.
They’re on a mission for the Order; looking in to one of the shops on Diagon Alley that Dumbledore believes is being used as a meeting place for Death Eaters.
It’s just him and Benjy, and it could be awkward but it isn’t. Because Benjy isn’t the kind of bloke to make you feel weird about dumping them five years ago because he’s just so decent.
They’ve been sat guard outside the shop for three and a half hours, long enough that they’re cold right down to the bone and shuddering violently. Remus is thinking wistfully about the giant bath in Sirius’ flat just down the road; about sinking into warm water until he thawed out and smelled like the ridiculous lavender bubble bath Sirius insisted on buying.
“I bet this isn’t how you’d imagined you’d be turning 22” Benjy mutters to him around hour four, flashing him a grin.
“Could be worse” Remus conceded, “James spent his in St Mungos”.
Benjy winced, “I heard about that- I was in Glasgow and I didn’t hear about the attack in time to get back”.
“Be thankful you missed it” he replied darkly, “You-Know-Who himself showed up, I’m still surprised James didn’t die”.
“Tosser has nine lives” Benjy chuckled fondly, “he came out of that shit show in Birmingham with barely a scratch on him”.
They were quiet for a few more minutes, watching the empty shop.
“For what it’s worth, Happy Birthday”.
“Thanks, Benjy”.
By hour six they’re irritable and hungry.
“How’s Sirius?” Benjy asks casually, casting a warming charm over his feet.
Remus scowls, “Fine. How’s Caradoc?”.
Benjy smirks in an all too knowing way, “He’s fine”.
“Got something to say Fenwick?” Remus snaps, and Benjy holds up his hands in surrender.
“You’re a cute couple”.
“We’re not a couple” Remus lies.
“He had such a crush on you at school” Benjy shrugs, “Any idiot could see it”.
“Including you?” Remus says waspishly, but Benjy doesn’t stop smiling.
“Especially me. He hexed me to speak only in rhyming couplets for a week after he found out we were going out”.
Remus blinked. “Seriously?”.
“Yep” Benjy said, popping the P with an obnoxious sound, “Not sure where he got the idea, it was pretty creative, I’ll give him that”.
Remus didn’t know how to reply to that.
By hour eight they’ve gone stiff with immobility, the warming charms only helping a little.
“True or false, you charmed the Ravenclaw Quidditch uniforms to flash different colours during the Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff game in your third year”.
“False” Remus said, and Benjy raised his eyebrows in disbelief, “It was Peter”.
Benjy snorted, “Ok, true or false, you spiked the Slytherin’s food with glitter?”
“True”
“Why glitter?”
“Why not glitter?”
They snorted with laughter, one eye on the shop front at all times.
“What made you change your mind about the Order?” Remus asked, not meeting the older boy’s eye, “you were so adamant you weren’t interested”.
He was quiet for a moment.
“I left school right after the attack in Hogsmede” he began, “I left Hogwarts and.. and I knew that there was nothing else I could do”.
“How come you didn’t write?”
Benjy smirked, “You dumped me because I wasn’t joining, I didn’t fancy hearing you say “I told you so””.
“I wouldn’t have-”
“Yes you would’ Benjy said, "I would have done the same”.
“Are you glad you joined?”
“I can honestly say there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing”.
Night had well and truly fallen, and Remus was beginning to wonder if Dumbledore is going to send people to relieve them or if they are expected to stay out all night.
Knowing Dumbledore, it would be the latter.
“This is a bloody waste of time” Benjy mutters around hour nine, and Remus opens his mouth to agree.
Of course, that’s when the Death Eaters show up.
Remus wakes up four days later in St Mungos and he doesn’t need to be told that Benjy didn’t make it. He somehow just knows.
He wonders how much more loss and heartbreak he can take, but then Sirius is there to hold him together, and for a little while longer, they endure.