Work Text:
“You’re engaged?!”
The first time the barista had compared the two of them to a couple, Sophie had laughed. Loud and hard. Frances remembered feeling embarrassed.
She had never really considered that they would stop being friends.
Which felt stupid now, in retrospect. Of course they would, like- nobody stays friends forever.
But when they sat in bed together and talked the night away, or when they shared cigarettes… Frances felt like it could last a lifetime.
Once, when Sophie had come to Sacramento for Christmas, they had shared Frances’ childhood bed. It wasn’t like they’d never shared a bed before, but there was something about the way they were pressed up against each other that made it feel so domestic.
Frances found herself returning to the thought often. Or any thought of Sophie, really.
She was always trying to recreate the way they were. Trying to use the same jokes with new people, jamming a puzzle piece into the hole that Sophie left in her heart.
When she visited Paris, the only thing she could think about was how much Sophie would’ve loved the views, and the trees, and the museums.
Fuck.
She could never understand why she couldn’t let go of the way they were. When she broke up with Dan, it was just… done. He was gone. She didn’t think about it very long. But Sophie was just stuck in her head, no matter how hard she tried.
She hadn’t really dated since Dan. Not for a lack of trying or anything. It was just that, like, sometimes intimacy made her get all tense and weird and upset. When Lev tried to touch her that night in his apartment, she felt something screaming inside of her. It just felt wrong. Not that she could particularly figure out why. That was what bothered her.
In a half-second, Frances’ life seemed to flash before her eyes. Every moment she had shared with Sophie.
“You’re engaged?!”
The words seemed to fall out of her mouth, involuntarily.
Sophie turned to look at her, and for a moment, Frances felt something she hadn’t felt in forever.
That thing she had said at the dinner party- when you meet each other’s eyes across the room?
It almost felt like that.
It was the closest she had ever felt to that. And then Sophie looked away for a second, and looked to her side.
Fucking Patch. Frances knew he didn’t love her.
She had always felt so helpless with Sophie’s love life. She was always dating the wrong guys, people Frances knew weren’t right for her.
The first time Patch left Sophie, she couldn’t stop crying. And Frances had held her, and cried with her too, but not for the same reasons.
It was strange how effortlessly the two spoke to each other, even after so long apart. Frances often supposed that maybe it was because they really were soulmates. Frances had never believed in soulmates, at least not in a romantic sense. But she and Sophie just clicked in that way that felt so perfect.
The night passed quickly, and before she knew it, she was lying in bed again. For the first time in months, she could feel Sophie’s weight on the mattress next to her.
“I’ve always felt so competitive with you.”
Frances felt something sting in her heart.
“Really? I don’t think I realized we were competitive.”
“Frances?”
There was a long pause. There was something about the way Sophie said her name that made it sound so much more beautiful than it was.
“What?”
“Can you— I know it’s not my bed, but… can you take off your socks?”
“Oh, yeah, sure.”
“It’s just, you know, socks in bed.”
“Right. Gross.”
They sat in silence for a moment. Sophie rolled a little closer, and Frances felt her breath catch in her throat. She could smell the whiskey on her breath.
“I love you, Frances.”
If she had a spine, she might’ve kissed her then.
If she had a spine, she might’ve told her a long time ago.
It had never really felt like the right time. And now… she was engaged. Really, really engaged, even if she denied it.
The first time the baristas had called the two of them a lesbian couple, Sophie had laughed.
Frances had always felt so hurt when she remembered that moment.
To Sophie, it was so impossible that it was hilarious.
Frances never really thought it was possible either.
But it still hurt.