Chapter Text
“Happy birthday, man,” Dave said as he handed John a wrapped present. It was John’s birthday, and while Rose and Jade had been unable to make it (though they sent their fondest regards), Dave, Mr. Strider, Karkat, and Gamzee had all piled into the Egbert residence.
Mr. Strider, or “Bro” as he preferred to be called, was chatting with John’s father, one hand rubbing his generous belly tucked beneath the white polo shirt he seemed to wear constantly. Karkat meanwhile was in the living room with Gamzee playing a video game as they waited for John’s cake to be done, and the two couldn’t be more different despite both being gray- skinned and orange-horned. The former was short and plump, while the latter was tall and gangly.
Dave ruffled John’s hair playfully before moving to join the pair. His svelte frame was neatly covered by his record symbol-marked shirt and jeans that were belted beneath it, owing to Dave’s lack of a rear to hold them up. The shades he always wore hid his eyes, but John could tell that Dave was happy to be here.
John grinned up at Dave, buck teeth peeking out as he gently held the gift that Dave gave him. "Thanks, man! Let me guess, new clever disguises? Or maybe a game that could kill us all?" Laughter filled the room. "I jest. But I wonder…"
“You’ll have to wait until after cake, kiddo,” John’s dad chided gently. “Speaking of which…” The man carefully placed the finished confection on the table. “Ambrose, the candles?”
“Right here.” Bro held out the numbered candles and inserted them into the cake, his belly pressing slightly into the table’s edge.
"Happy Wriggling day~" Gamzee started singing off-key before Karkat elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow-"
Dave chuckled. “Don’t beat him up too bad!”
Karkat merely rolled his eyes before sitting on the armrest of the couch before the group sang the earthly birthday song.
John ducked his head, trying to hide his blush as they sang, but raised it to blow out the candles. “Not Betty Crocker this time?” he asked, looking the cake over.
“Course not. Not for this one anyway,” John’s dad explained as he handed John the cake knife.
"I helped Gamzee and your dad make it from scratch idiot, don't worry." Karkat huffed. "I wouldn't kill you on your birthday."
Gamzee nodded as he retrieved the plates and forks. “It was good practice. Now c’mon, let’s serve you up!”
With everyone having a slice, a good chunk of the cake stored away in Bro's gut and the remainder in the fridge, it was finally time for presents. Mr. Egbert gently nudged a package of his own forward.
John was immediately suspicious.
“C’mon, would I do that to you?”
Absolutely.”
Dad laughed. “Fair. But go on, I know you want to.”
John shook his head and tore the gift open. “What the hell?” Inside was a box labelled as being for a “pee shield”. “DAD!”
Bro immediately burst into laughter. No one could keep a straight face, even Karkat had a small smirk. "Gross."
John furiously tore the box apart, revealing a… “A new Switch?!” He held up the game’s box.
“Happy birthday, son.” His father smiled, and John knew that this one was real.
“Mine next,” Karkat handed his gift over, a small flat package. John was careful as he peeled away the crab-covered paper. Within was a DVD of "Dead Poets Society" and "Patch Adams". Karkat smirked, hand on his hip. "I'm surprised you couldn't figure it out. You've been telling me you've wanted it for months! Yammering and pestering about it, you're almost as bad as Kanaya's meddling.”
John laughed. “Don’t let Rose hear you say that.”
“Yes John, I’ve suddenly become suicidal and crave a slow painful death,” Karkat snapped, but the grin was still on his face.
John raised his hands defensively. "Just saying, gog it's almost like I care about my matesprit." He stuck his tongue out at his lover. "But thank you, it's been hard finding good films lately."
Dave was next, his present covered in musical notes. “Here ya go.”
John found himself to be the proud owner of a small rabbit with a bow tie and a clapper with the words "M3GAN", "scene 12", and "Take 8". "Holy shit…"
"Language." James sighed, adjusting his pipe.
"How did you get this?" John's eyes were wide behind his glasses.
“I have my ways,” Dave replied, adjusting his shades so they shone briefly in the light.
“Translation: Dirk made it for him,” Karkat replied immediately.
“Dude!”
“I’m sorry, am I wrong?”
As the pair squabbled, Gamzee stood by one of the various houseplants, toying with a leaf and quietly whispering to it. Ambrose brought his fingers to his lips and whistled high and loud. “Alright, alright, break it up!” the large man called out.
John chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's fine, Bro, I saw this coming."
“Well in that case, here.” Bro handed over his own gift, wrapped in smuppet-covered paper.
“Ambrose,” James began with a warning tone.
“It’s not that, I swear,” Bro held up his pudgy hands after John had the box in his grip. "The only wrapping paper I had."
“He’s not lying,” Dave added as he returned to his seat. "And we're all adults here."
John shook it gently, but could already feel the ridges of binding and paper. "A book? But what kind… If only Jane was here to sleuth this out."
“Or you could open it like a normal gift-receiver,” Bro prompted.
"Where's the fun in that!" John chuckled, ripping the paper off. "well… that sure is something." Kermit the frog could be found upon the front cover holding a cake.
Bro chuckled. “You like it?”
"I do! Just surprised." John started flipping through it, showing some of the pages to Karkat. "Making that…"
Gamzee finally wandered back over from his plant adventure.
“Hey, John-bro,” he greeted. “Thought long and hard ‘bout this one.” He handed over a box covered in paired comedy and tragedy masks.
"Thank you, Gamzee." John accepted the box, only giving it a small shake before opening it. "Beginners Hypno Kit, a guide to all things Hypnosis…"
“Might be fun, right?” Gamzee grinned.
John's buck toothed smile grew as he opened the box and started sifting through the materials. "Spiral, watch, even a clicker!" John glanced to Karkat and then to Dave. "Shall we try this?"
“Let’s get to your room,” Dave replied, helping John gather his new presents and heading upstairs.
"Make good choices kids." Bro teased, his shaded eyes landing on James as Karkat and Gamzee trailed behind their partners.
“No promises!” John called back as they entered his bedroom and shut the door.
Karkat and Dave sat on the edge of John's bed, while Gamzee found himself in John's computer chair. "So, John-Bro, you excited to hypnotize some mother fuckers?"
“Let’s do it!” John grinned, pulling out the book. “What do you wanna try first?”
Karkat huffed at the sight. "You can't actually believe that's real, John. It's a parlor trick!"
Dave lightly smacked Karkat’s arm. “Stop being a Debby Downer, cranky crab,” he chided. “It’s his birthday, so chill.”
Karkat glared at Dave as Gamzee spoke up. "I've heard good things 'bout this one. Just gotta believe." A soft chuckle left the clown adjusting until his legs sat over the armrest of the chair.
“Yeah, Johnny boy!” Dave nodded, adjusting his ever-present sunglasses.
John nodded. “Yeah! But back to my question…” he prompted.
“Go for the watch,” Gamzee suggested in return, one hand playing with his hair. “It’s a classic, can't beat the originals.”
The buck toothed man grinned, pulling out the pocket watch. "Hm…"
“Hm? Can’t decide who you’re gonna turn into a rabbit?” Dave asked.
"Kar, can I?" John walked over, toying with the chain on the watch. "It'll be fun~"
Karkat rolled his eyes. “Won’t do anything, but go nuts.”
John stood in front of his partner, manual in one hand and the watch in the other. He gave Karkat a small nod before swinging the watch right to left. "Focus on the watch and clear your mind. You're getting very tired."
Karkat just stared at the watch with an unimpressed expression.
"As you grow more tired, you'll start to feel very thirsty." John recited, pouting a bit at Karkats lack of reaction.
Karkat licked his lips a little and yawned, but that was all. “Sorry John, but no dice. Try Gamz.”
“Yeah man!” Gamzee gave a lazy “rock on” gesture and sat up, briefly reminding John of how tall Gamzee was, as he was still John’s height despite sitting down. “Lay it on me!”
John pulled out the black and white spiral spinner, holding it at eye level for Gamzee, and let it spin. "You'll feel your mind start to fog as you watch the tuning spiral. As you grow to think less, you'll begin to crave physical contact-" but Gamzee had fallen asleep, leaning forward until he flopped out of the chair and into Dave’s lap. "Huh…"
Gamzee woke up with a snort. “Huh? Did it work?” He asked with a bleary voice.
The group found themselves chuckling, Gamzee's lips turning to a lazy grin. "Passed out instead of getting hypnotized, handsome," Dave spoke softly. “Now get off me, your horns are pokey.”
“Sorry, heh.”
“Why don’t you try it next?”
Dave shrugged. “Sure, why not.” He stood and sat in Gamzee’s vacant seat, slipping the shades off his face and handing them to the lanky troll, who slipped them on. “Bring it on.”
John grabbed the watch back out. "Alright, now I want you to relax. And remember to breathe.” As John spoke, Dave took a deep breath, eyes locked on the watch. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
“Okay…” John started the sway of the watch. "Focus on the watch and clear your mind. You're getting very tired. As you grow more tired you'll learn the word of your trigger, one that makes you feel very hungry." John glanced at Karkat and Gamzee to pick a trigger word as Dave's stoic persona started to drop due to the lack of energy.
"Chicken!" Gamzee quickly blurted out.
John stifles his laughter as he finished the hypnotism. “And the next you hear this clicker-“ John clicked the mechanism- “You’ll act like a chicken for a minute. Now you will return to us once I snap, in three. Two… one!"
Dave straightened from his slumped pose with a start. “So, what did you do?” Dave asked as Gamzee returned his sunglasses.
“I’ll show you.” John tossed the clicker to Karkat, who triggered the device.
Immediately, Dave jumped up, arms held to his sides as he began strutting around like a rooster. “Bawk bawk!” he called out, scraping the carpeted floor with his feet as though digging for worms. The other three laughed uproariously as Dave acted through the hypnotic command for a minute before he finally flinched out of it and fell to the floor. “Ow.”
“You okay?” Gamzee asked, helping him up.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” Dave answered, brushing himself off. “Shot in the dark, but chicken?”
“Chicken,” John confirmed.
Dave could feel his stomach begin to grumble, but mostly ignored it. "What about the watch?" A tightness could be felt around the ass of his skinny jeans, along with the waistband. "weird.. ' he murmured, placing a hand on his previously flat abs. Now what he found was sof flesh. He couldn't just feel it, but now began to see his body fill with what seemed to be fat. "What did you do?"
Gamzee looked his boyfriend over, confused. "you mother fucking alright?” As Gamzee spoke, Dave felt a surge of the strange feeling, causing him to stumble as his thighs filled with flesh as well. "Dave?" Another surge.
“Yeah…” Dave put a hand to his stomach and gave it a little rub, an action that felt both new and familiar. “Just… hungry, I guess,” he replied.
Gamzee grew flushed with purple as he watched his matesprit grow. "Let's get you some mother fucking cake!"
Dave nodded. “Sounds like a plan, stretch! Takes a lot to feed this tank!”
Gamzee leads Dave downstairs, leaving Karkat and John sitting quietly. "Damn…" John mumbled, unable to remove his eyes for Dave's new found ass as he left.
Karkat leaned over. “See something you like?” he prompted. “Cuz I know I do.”
John barely managed a nod in response.
“Let’s get down there before we miss the show of him stuffing his face.” With that, Karkat headed out the door, dragging John with him.
Down in the kitchen, Dave had parked his ass in a chair normally reserved for Ambrose, who was plopping a generous slice of cake in front of Dave. “Looks like the famous Strider Softness finally caught ya, skinny,” he commented, chuckling.
“Strider softness?” Gamzee asked.
“Yup. Almost every male in the Strider family has wound up some measure of soft, chubby, fat, or in my case, downright rotund,” Bro explained, showing Gamzee his phone with pictures of himself as a plump young adult, his father as a rather fat silver-haired man, and Dirk being fed by Jake and being quite distended. “Thought Dave was managing to escape our little curse. Guess not!”
James sighed from across the kitchen, scooping ice cream into a bowl. "not a curse dear."
“I know, but it’s been called that for generations; hard to shake that off.”
“What exactly is it?” John asked as he entered the room.
“Well, it started a few generations back from what I understand,” Mr. Egbert explained. “Back when Ambrose’s ancestors first arrived in Texas.”
Bro nodded. “Yup. My great-great grandpappy found an idol. He brought it home and their farm had a pretty big harvest. But there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Turns out the price to pay was the menfolk of the family turnin’ into butterballs.”
Gamzee was no longer paying attention to bro, sitting next to Dave and pushing more food to the growing fatty. "You good, babe..?" He asked softly, purple eyes staring at the newfound gut.
“Yeah,” Dave nodded. “It’ll take some getting used to but I’ll be fine.”
Gamzee placed a soft kiss on his cheek and nuzzled his neck. "I got you, handsome~" John and Karkat glanced at each other, grinning.