Chapter Text
“Do it for the vine” & “When will you learn that your actions have consequences”
In all honesty, Dazai never truly meant to break Kunikida, but that didn't stop him from admitting that he was absolutely going to do it again in a heartbeat given the chance. From his spot on the couch, he could see Kunikida at his desk in a state of shock staring numbly at his computer screen unmoving. Turning back to his phone Dazai continues to play back the footage releasing a laugh at the video of Kunikida yelling red-faced, while also being 3 seconds away from snapping his fifth pen. This will be his best vine yet, he can feel it.
Vine upload complete…
@fancy_hat commented: how have you not killed that man
@dr.lesbean commented: So you’ve taken another 7 years from Kunikida’s life.
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@sushi_tiger commented: Is Kunikida still alive or have you actually killed him this time?
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At the notifications slowly filling his lock screen Dazai released a small chuckle leaning back in his chair. The gradually increasing notification noise from Dazai’s phone was increasing his entertainment level even more as he saw Kunikida begin twitching out of the corner of his eye.
Slug
I’ll see you at your funeral Mackerel <3
20 minutes prior…
Dazai had awoken this morning and decided that not only was he going to do his usual shit Operation Of Pen Snaps, code name: oops (yes, Dazai worked very hard to come up with that and yes he is aware how dumb it sounds, but it spells out oops and that was worth the dumb name), but he was also going to film and post his antics on the wonderful app of vine. Let the shit show commence…
“Kuu-nii-kii-daa!” Dazai whined as he leaned impossibly further back in his chair, dangerously nearing its tipping point (honestly it's a miracle he hasn't fallen at this point).
“What Dazai” Kunikida’s voice cuts through like a knife as he faces Dazai, “Also stop sitting in your chair like that, you'll break it!”
“I wanna make a vine!” pouting Dazai slowly leans forward in his chair (a survival response for when Kunikida’s glare becomes a little bit more intense than usual, he might want to die but at his partner's hands it would hurt),
“Not during work hours, besides you still have two reports that were due yesterday” Kunikida let out a pained sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “If you're going to do it, at least wait until your lunch break”
“But I wanna make it nooooow! And…” Dazai starts manoeuvring his chair over to Kunikida’s desk, “I want to make it with my favourite person!”
“Leave poor Atsushi alone, that boy deals with your shit enough as it is” Dazai’s face contours into mock hurt at Kunikida’s comment and he gasps dramatically as he grabs his chest.
“I’m wounded Kunikida. You don't even know who my favourite person is. Oh, who could have ever guessed I would be betrayed like this…” Dazai pauses and looks towards Kunikida. “Well you're no fun today” Kunikida’s face was unresponsive.
“Dazai what the hell was all of that, what do you want? Unlike some people, I'm being a diligent employee”
“Guess again” leaning into Kunikida’s space more, “Go on, I know you want to!”
“Guess what exactly?”
“Who my favourite person is of course”
Sighing Kunikida replies “Is it me?”