Work Text:
Seungcheol coming from a meeting with their higher-ups has yet to reach their dormitory room, yet he can hear the loud exchange between his members.
Deep breath
Almost everyone is on edge lately now that their comeback is nearing. Aside from the exhaustion from the extended time of practice, there's this unspoken worry regarding the performance of this upcoming album. The industry is ever-changing and competitive as it is. Being experienced idols don't really strip off the nervousness every comeback season. More so for Seventeen, who's never complacent with their current work and wants to grow continuously. They could only wish their music could still reach the masses or even just make their fans, carats, stay.
Deep breath
Slowly Seungcheol entered the passcode to their complex. The members sensed their leader's arrival as if on cue, and silence enveloped the living room. They know how the oldest dislikes unnecessary disputes, just like what Soonyoung and Seungkwan have been arguing about.
But maybe pettiness got ahead of them, and despite trying to stay calm and quiet, they silently elbowed each other like kids trying to fight in front of their parents. And that doesn't go unnoticed, with Seungcheol being the most attentive.
Deep breath
"You two," the leader calmly said, "just go back to your rooms and rest. We have an early schedule tomorrow," he added, still sporting his calm facade, knowing that their squabbling was due to tiredness and pent-up anxieties. After all, they are promoting BSS's album while preparing for their group's comeback.
The two immediately stopped and parted ways with a hushed tirade against each other. Seungcheol can only sigh and proceed to the kitchen to eat his late lunch and dinner at the same time. Only to be welcomed with a dining area filled with unwashed dishes, unkempt leftovers, and the refrigerator barely having food to fill his empty stomach. Would it be too much for me to wish to come home to a clean house and warm food to eat?
Deep breath
Seungcheol gave up and decided to check their cabinets to look for any instant food. He saw the only remaining packet of ramyun and cooked it while brewing a cup of coffee. This will be enough for now, he thought. He just needs to put something in his body and catch up on some sleep.
"Oh hyung, you're here," Dokyeom said, also arriving from an individual schedule. He went straight to the refrigerator just like Seungcheol did.
The leader notices the younger's action. "There's no food there," he said. He knew that Dokyeom came from a schedule earlier than his, and knowing him, he probably skipped both breakfast and lunch.
Deep breath
"The ramyun's about to be ready. You can eat that."
"Eh, hyung, that's your food," Dokyeom, all pouty, tried to reason out. But Seungcheol knew better that the younger would just sleep with an empty stomach if he didn't let him eat now.
"I knew you hadn't eaten since morning." He said, picking up the cup he brewed a while ago and ruffling the younger's hair before exiting the kitchen.
"We can share tho!"
"Coffee's enough for me."
With a mug in his hand, Seungcheol decided to go to his room and finish his coffee inside. A single lamp densely lit up the area, and he found Jeonghan peacefully sleeping in their shared bed with his hand grasping his phone. He must be waiting for him to come home, so despite being tired and all, he chose to sit on the small bean bag in the corner. He simply doesn't have the heart to lie down beside him, knowing how much of a light-sleeper Jeonghan is and disturb his sleep.
Halfway through, his cup and sleep still seemingly distant. He can't help but think of his members. Tiredness is taking a toll on everyone, especially Jihoon. Their manager texted him about the younger's stubbornness. Jihoon has been staying in his studio longer than usual. Heck, he hasn't been home for two days straight, even worrying their manager.
Deep breath
But Seungcheol understands. He knows Jihoon just wanted to ensure everything for this upcoming album is smooth. He doesn't say it, but he wants it perfect, not for himself as a producer but for the group. So he did what he thought was best for Jihoon and simply let him be. Seungcheol settled by checking his phone, which had been on silent since morning.
Deep breath
First to pop up were notifications in their group chat where Seungkwan and Soonyoung decided to continue their quarrel, eventually dragging Jun and Myungho into their petty fight. The others chose to simply ignore the four trying not to choose sides and escalate things. But, this will surely get out of hand. Seungcheol decided to finally check what are they arguing about.
Deep breath
Soonyoung: CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND SEUNGKWAN! JIHOONIE IS SICK!
Jun: let's just bring him home
Soonyoung: THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL SEUNGKWAN, BUT HE DOESN'T CARE AT ALL!
Seungkwan: Hyung, it's not like I don't care! But we all know better to leave him alone at times like this!
Myungho: I agree with Kwannie on this.
Soonyoung: JIHOON IS OVERWORKING HIMSELF TO DEATH, AND YOU ALL DON'T CARE!
Deep breath
So Jihoon is sick.
Deep breath
Jihoon is sick.
Deep breath
He is sick.
Deep breath
Jihoon is sick. Jihoon is sick because of me. How come I didn't notice how much he's working? He's overworking, and I didn't even allow him to take a break.
Deep breath
Jihoon is sick.
Drowning in his thought, Seungcheol doesn't even notice how his breathing is becoming short, rapid, and labored. A lump formed at the back of his throat, making him gasp for air. He doesn't know why, but there seems to be a lack of oxygen, as if anytime from now, a shortage would arise. And gradually, the slightest gush of wind froze his fingers down to his spine. A single tear clings to his eyes as worry and guilt build in his gut. Inch by inch, bit by bit, eating him up, clouding his sight with fear and doubt - making the dimly lit room darker and darker until no light is seen.
Deep breath
Jihoon is sick. What kind of leader am I to put my members in danger? Jihoon is sick. I did this, he i--
"Ddaddu-yah," Jeonghan hushedly said. His soft voice made all those clouds disappear. A simple utter of Seungcheol's name brings him back to consciousness, to light, coming from his angel - his Jeonghan.
"Hmm?" Seungcheol answered with a muffled sound, trying to hide the stutter in his voice.
Jeonghan, now sitting on their bed facing Seungcheol but refraining himself from hugging the older, "Cheollie, breathe."
"S-sorry," the leader said in the tiniest voice he could summon.
"Hey, don't say that. My Seungcheollie, look at me."
Look at me.
Jeonghan's voice echoes inside Seungcheol's head. Clearing up the clouds, letting him see his Jeonghan teaching, and guiding him on breathing.
Look at me.
His eyes fixed on Jeonghan's delicate features. His warmth traveled from his gaze and seemingly reached his frozen fingertips. Melting all the sadness and worries away. Clearing up the lump in his throat. Soothing down the turmoil in the pit of his stomach. Gradually unwavering his breathing.
"Ok, would you like to talk about it?" Jeonghan asked, smiling sweetly, even more blinding. "Or, would you like to come here to bed with me and cuddle?" he continued, opening his arms to Seungcheol.
No words were spoken as the older rose from sitting on the bean bag and buried himself in the arms of his solace. Breathing now more steadily with the scent of the younger calming his nerves.
"Ddaddu must be tired" He can feel Jeonghan running his fingers on his hair. "Sleep now, ok? I'm here. No need to worry. Rest that weary mind of yours, hmm?"
Seungcheol wanted to respond and tell the younger one he was fine now, but he couldn't seem to find the words he wanted to say.
"Let's talk about it tomorrow." Jeonghan continued, and all the leader could do was hug him tighter.
"I love you, my brave and strong Seungcheollie," the older heard Jeonghan say, sealing it with a soft kiss on his forehead.
Choi Seungcheol is a force to be reckoned with. The right mix of confidence and arrogance, of wit and humor, of power and stability. He is known for his strong personality. An alpha who would do everything to protect his pack.
But behind closed doors is an anxious little kid who second guess almost all his life decisions. Silently crying for warmth and protection, everyone thought he didn't need. A self-loathing man who hardly believes in himself.
Luckily he has his Jeonghan. His calm in every storm, his rest in all the sleepless nights. His Jeonghan who brings out the best in him.