Chapter Text
Jisung and Minho met in kindergarten and since then, they never left each other's side. They were meant to be friends. They spent everyday together and then spent the weekend at one of their houses either watching movies or playing video games.
They also spent a lot of time outside when Jisung had the wonderful idea to teach Minho how to ride a bike. The streets of their neighborhood were filled with their laughter and apart from the few scratches on Minho’s knees, the mission was a success.
One time, it was Minho’s turn to host their (not so) famous sleepover but Jisung never showed up. Minho’s parents were almost as worried as their son and immediately went to the missing boy’s house. In the end, Jisung had catched a cold. Minho insisted on staying over to watch over his friend so the four parents ordered food for everyone and Jisung healed pretty quickly and with a warm feeling of belonging.
"Min, you feel like my home, I know I’m safe with you, thank you". It was just a whisper in the night that probably got lost in the darkness.
☆
Minho and Jisung entered the same high school. The two best friends were not in the same class but it didn’t tear them apart. They ate lunch together any time they could. The sleepovers never stopped and since they were apart during classes they had a lot to catch up every time.
"Jisungie!" The boy smiled with his whole heart hearing his name shouted by his best friend.
"Ah, I love how your smile is shaped like a heart, it feels so sincere and suits you so well." Minho didn’t see the blush on the other’s cheeks as he grabbed him by the shoulders to walk together to their neighborhood.
It was mostly Minho who had a lot to talk about when they spent time catching up. He made new friends in his class and was kind of popular.
Jisung on the other hand was really shy and didn’t fit in well with his classmates. That’s when he started to feel very anxious for the first time. He was skipping a lot of classes when he couldn’t get up in the morning because of the anxiety paralyzing his body. His grades went down and his parents started to worry about him.
However, Jisung tried to hide it when he was with Minho. His best friend seemed so happy in high school he didn’t want him to worry.
But Minho knew, he just didn’t know what to do to help him so he just stayed with him. As long as they are together, it’s going to be okay, right?
Right?
Minho was kind of popular in his class and he started dating this girl with a name not worth remembering. They were the perfect couple everyone expected to get together.
Everyone, but not Jisung.
He didn’t hear it directly from Minho, and that was what hurt the most. He just overheard a conversation while he was waiting for Minho and saw them holding hands while leaving highschool.
Minho was supposed to go home with Jising like every Friday so they could settle on where to do the sleepover. He never showed up. It was the first time Jisung felt anxious because of Minho.
Minho did like the girl, she was pretty and really nice to him and to everyone actually, he was no exception. However he did not love her, and Jisung was the first one to realize that.
He felt left out and he was certainly worried about Minho. He tried to confront his best friend about it and about the missing calls, texts but Minho denied everything and assumed Jisung was just jealous he had a girlfriend and not him.
They drift apart after this conversation and Jisung is a mess. It was the last straw and he gave up on trying to save their friendship.
Minho is still with the girl and they appear to be closer everyday while Jisung is standing in a corner sulking about how Minho replaced him for a girl and how he never needed him.
Something is bothering him about this relationship, it seems like it is only pretend because Jisung knows Minho, and he isn’t acting like himself.
How could his best friend spend all his time with a girl and leave him aside just like that?
Even if they knew each other for so long, maybe it is time for them to drift apart and never speak to each other again, because of a girl.
He spends the last two years of highschool alone, sure he makes acquaintances in his classes but it is never more than people he says hi to in the morning.
No one could replace his best friend, but Minho is still with his girlfriend and doesn’t pay attention to Jisung at all.
The first year, Jisung tries to avoid them at any cost but no matter how hard he tries, it feels like the whole school's attention is directed towards the great couple.
The second year he just stops paying attention at all and starts studying really hard.
Jisung is a bit lonely but he dives into his notes in order to pass the finals and finally say goodbye to this school (and to Minho).
There is a switch in his form of anxiety and instead of paralyzing him, it makes him exhaust himself to the point he can’t focus on anything else than classes.
His grades go up but his mental health is degrading. He hopes everything will get better once highschool is over.
The only thing Jisung is able to do to ease the pain and his anxiety is music. When he wasn't studying, he was writing words, lyrics, songs, whatever was in his head (and there was a lot going on in there).
Sometimes, he thinks he is over this friendship but then he finds himself crying at night because his mom asked him about Minho and he didn't know what to say.
So the only way to cope with all the feelings overwhelming him is to write them into songs.
He can't wait to move out of this small town and start college. He got accepted in a music course specialized in producing, it's the only way to start over.
However, he still feels a sting in his heart with the thought of never seeing Minho again, he doesn't even know what his late bestfriend plans on doing after highschool.
Minho was his soulmate and the hardest part was that they stopped talking because of something really silly. Jisung still doesn't understand why Minho got so angry at him that day but he made peace with the fact that he might never know the real reason and it doesn't keep him awake at night anymore, not every night at least.