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“Personally, I don’t get it. Why are you content with just watching? Do you not understand how precious that desire is? How fleeting? If I were you, I wouldn’t be able to stand it. I would have conquered the heart of the person I love by now.”
“Hehe, that’s so like-you to say, Eichi-san.”
It’s natural at this point—to address him, to avoid his eyes, to sit next to him while he gets frustrated with your lack of drive, while still being the doting person he is.
“It’s not that I don’t want more. I get angry too, you know. When he won’t look my way. When he sees other idols in a way he’s never seen me. When he banters, when they're there for him in a way I haven't been allowed to be. But then—
“—then I'll see the way he loves. He loves so much, you know?” I hope he does. I can't tell him. “He’s so passionate and loving and alive. More than anyone I know.”
Eichi is silent, for once. Contemplative, like he’s seeing a new side of you.
“I find myself genuinely happy to see him so content. I—” you shake your head— “I can’t say that I’m okay with not being part of his happiness. I wish I was.
“But as long as he is happy, I can live with it.”
“I can't say I really understand it. But…”
His touch on your arm is light, barely there, but so warm. So alive.
“You are part of my happiness, Producer-chan. One I struggled very hard to get.”
You only nod frantically, trying your best to hide your teary expression.
“Honestly, it’s a wonder you’ve managed to keep this from me for this long. Are you afraid I’d make him pay for never noticing you?”
Your voice still quivers as you lie to him. “You can be quite vindictive, Tenshouin-dono."
"Ugh, please drop that title."
You laugh, his words echoing in your head. As you're sure they will for a long time.
So you are a part of his happiness, after all.