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It was a mistake.
Shouta knew it was a mistake, although he couldn’t remember what exactly was the mistake. He tried to focus to pinpoint when exactly the night went to shit.
Mistake number 1: Agreeing to go for the drinks with All Might after home visits. He had to survive the Number One hero’s attempts of being friendly with him. He wasn’t keen on the idea at best of times, and his social battery was at a new low after visiting the parents of his students.
Mistake number 2: To avoid the awkwardness, he was drinking one beer after another, even though he knew he was going to nurse a hangover the following day, despite convincing All Might he never got drunk. Although, he supposes, it wasn’t entirely a lie, because he never remembered getting drunk, only the consequences the following day. He always had the weakest head, even if his outwardly appearance didn’t give him away.
Mistake number 3 (apparently): Not stopping Hizashi from joining. He thought the Voice Hero’s presence will dissolve the uncomfortable atmosphere but he did not expect it to turn into „Shouta roast” time. Normally he wouldn’t mind but today was exhausting enough and he had to resort to using force on Hizashi to shut him up for even a moment (he probably wouldn’t have done it if he weren’t hoping that it may pay off much later when they were finally alone).
Mistake number 4: Not bolting the moment Nemuri stepped into the pub and tried forcing her terrifying concoctions on them. He knew better than to try them after 15 years of friendship.
Mistake number… at this point he lost track, the events becoming foggy at best. He had a faint memory of talking to All Might (and… mistaking a Buddha figure for the Symbol of Hope? Oh God, it better did not happen) and was aware that most of the faculty was now present. The only thing he was sure of was the fact that he was laying his head on the table and Hizashi was sitting right next to him mocking him mercilessly.
„Mic, shut up,” he groaned, not lifting his head. He had half a mind to use the hero name instead of his husband’s given name. They were still in public space with their colleagues, after all, even if they all were in their civilian clothes.
„Nope, you’re too cute when you get wasted,” the blonde cooed right next to his ear.
„Hizashi, do you ever shut up.”
Still laying on the table, he missed All Might’s raised eyebrow at the usage of Voice Hero’s first name.
Nemuri chimed in. „Well, Shouta, only you can tell us if there are some moments when he shuts up,” she said suggestively.
It was clear that All Might is getting confused by the minute, both by Nemuri’s usage of Shouta’s name and by hidden implication of her words that he couldn’t quite decipher. Not that Shouta noticed.
„I meeeeeeaaaan,” Hizashi started coyly, „maybe there are some times when I, indeed, do shut up, but I guess Eraser won’t be able to pull it off at the moment.”
That was a challenge.
The one he should’ve let slip. It was not the time nor the space nor the company to pick up this particular challenge.
But he was tired, annoyed, anxious, drunk and Hizashi was wearing Shouta’s favourite cologne that always drove him crazy.
He abruptly pulled himself up and gripped Hizashi’s shirt, pulling him in.
„Now shut up,” he whispered, before pressing his lips against Hizashi’s.
Hizashi let out a small happy yelp before parting his lips to allow Shouta better access. His hands found their way in the black hair, while Shouta absentmindedly pulled up Hizashi’s legs over his lap.
The Erasure hero faintly registered that their table became silent, aside from Nemuri cheering to their right.
Their impromptu make-out session was finally stopped when their heard a familiar wheezing and looked up to see All Might coughing up blood, looking at them with wide eyes. Too far gone to be actually ashamed of themselves, the couple took a briefest moment to look around the table, still panting slightly. Most of the teachers were smirking into their drinks, while Nemuri had her chin propped on her hand and was looking at them hungrily.
„Finally,” she exclaimed when they made eye contact with her. „It’s been ages since you let us on some EraserMic action, I was getting booooored.” she said excitedly.
All Might coughed blood again and the three of them focused on him.
„Uh…” he started, not sure where this is supposed to lead. „That’s actually the first time I’ve seen two straight friends kiss after alcohol,” he finished with forced cheerfulness to mask how awkward he felt.
Shouta and Hizashi looked at him incredulously, while Nemuri started wheezing so much she nearly fell on the floor. This took less than a second before…
„I’ve never been this offended in my ENTIRE LIFE,” Hizashi exclaimed with faux-offence, while Shouta said, „That’s something I haven’t heard in a long time.”
All Might looked even more confused than before.
„Oh my god,” Nemuri panted, brushing away the tears. „All Might… my dear…,” she started laughing again but this time it took her significantly less time to calm down. She composed herself and looked at All Might seriously.
„Lemme let you on the UA’s greatest secret, one that’s been kept for over fifteen years,” she paused for a dramatic effect. „Shouta and Hizashi? Are about as straight as a wet spaghetti.”
The men in question nodded solemnly. All Might looked as lost as one can get.
„And we are not friends,” Shouta added, which earned him a dramatic gasp from Hizashi, who was still sitting in his lap.
„SHOUTA, love of my life, are you breaking up with me?” he whined.
„Oh my God, I’m too drunk for this,” Shouta whispered, pulling his partner closer.
„But… I thought… what do you mean you’re not friends, Aizawa-kun?” All Might made final attempt at understanding the situation because the signals he’s been getting were mixed at best.
Without words, both men reached to the chains they had on their necks and proudly presented matching wedding bands to the Number One Hero.
„And I was their bestwoman. The wedding was magical,” Nemuri whispered dreamily.