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“Just like you were too late to save me at the Vytal festival…”
No no no no no- please, it wasn’t me it wasn’t my fault I was trying to save you it wasn’t me I wanted to save you I tried I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I failed you I failed everyone but it wasn’t me I was trying to SAVE EVERYONE-
“I died in Atlas too- didn’t I?”
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you I couldn’t stop it I’m sorry I feel and I failed and it wasn’t my fault she was right there she was trying to kill me she was-
“Can you imagine what that’s like?” the apparition of a dead woman spoke slowly, drawing out every word to drive the emotions home- the woman she never got to truly tell her feelings to. The woman she’d lost and mourned two years ago, only to get a second chance that she wasted and then had to put away the stress and guilt and terror and trauma of her second death away because there just hadn’t been enough time- there had never been enough time, and all she could do was keep moving because things weren’t okay, she wasn’t okay, and if she stopped moving then she’d fall and never come back and then the world would be gone! “To be completely and utterly failed-”
No no no no no-
“- time and again-”
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
“-by someone who meant the world to you?”
The only thing that Ruby could do was stare . All she could do was watch- wide eyed and vision blurring with tears- as the apparition, the illusion of Penny walked forward with every word she spoke, the raw emotion in those words shattering Ruby’s heart even more than it already had.
Because…
It was her fault, in the end.
Jaune was right.
About everything.
About-
Everyone who had died in Atlas and Mantle- it was on her shoulders. It was all her fault. She let everyone down, and no matter how much she tried to refute it- no matter how much she tried to cling onto those last, pitiful scraps of hope… she couldn’t dare. She knew that trying again and again and again, pressing herself down, trying to hope , trying to be optimistic, trying to be a leader … it didn’t end well.
Even as she felt the pain of a dozen illusory blows, she couldn’t stop. She tried to protest, tried to stay alive- she didn’t want to die, she didn’t want to DIE!
Even if she wanted the pain to stop- not like this! Please, not like this!
First it was Roman, his voice harsh in her ear as he choked her with his cane, driving it into the bruised flesh of her neck until she managed to stumble away- taunting her about drinking the poison that was looking more and more and more- no!
Not yet, please, not yet! She could still do it, couldn’t she!? Even- even if it was all her fault, even with all her failures, she could still fix it! She still had to try and fix it!
Then it was Pyrrha- Pyrrha… Pyrrha, who she’d failed before almost anyone else, who she’d been too late to save, just like she’d been too late to save Penny. What good was all of her speed if she couldn’t save the people she cared about!?
“How many people are going to die BECAUSE OF YOU!?”
She stumbled, reeling from the kick to her ribs and wheezing as she tried to support herself against the wall, barely even coherent of the words falling from her mouth- she was babbling and crying, she could tell, but all she wanted, all she could desperately wish for was for the pain to stop.
For things to be alright again.
For someone to help her, to hold her instead of beating her down. She wanted to save everyone, she wanted to help people, she was trying so hard!
Even as she spoke, though, Ironwood slugged her in the gut and threw her again, cutting her off and drawing yet more pain- driving her further into the pit of despair.
It was no longer about escaping. It was no longer about trying to beat Neo or find a way home.
All she wanted was for the pain to stop.
And so, as she deliriously reached for Crescent Rose- desperate for something, anything to try and defend herself with- she wished one last time.
Please… make the pain stop. I don’t want to feel this way anymore…
And then…
Green.
Something changed in the wind, the way the atmosphere shifted around.
The apparitions seemed to freeze in place, and Ruby found herself just enough time to grab her scythe, whimpering quietly even as she squinted at the overwhelming amount of green covering everything- what was going on? Where was that light coming from? Was it real or was it just another one of Neo’s illusions?
She didn’t know- all she knew was that there was something bright and green and warm and-
“STAY AWAY FROM MY RUBY!”
Familiar.
There was a blur of motion too fast to track, a blast of light so strong it almost blinded Ruby as it flew past and struck a previously invisible Neo- blasting through the mansion and carrying her far, far away. Everything seemed to fade before the beam’s presence, heat and light pouring from its radiant verdant glow as the mansion and all of the apparitions of the dead shattered into fragments of pink glass and scattered to the wind.
She was alone now, in a barren wasteland.
The beam faded away, the tingle of aura in the air resting on Ruby’s skin. She…
What happened? What was going on?
She wanted to cry, tears starting to streak down her cheeks of her own volition- that light, that heat… it was so familiar . So painfully familiar…
It could only be one person- but how!?
The thought alone made her heart hurt- and the sound of Penny’s voice dancing in the wind only made her curl up even more, trying to hide away from the cruel illusions still playing havoc on her mind.
At least- at least until something blocked her view of the ground, dirt and rock hidden behind soft beige while a pair of strong, soft, warm, and gentle arms encircled her.
“Ruby- I’m so, so sorry! I tried to get to you sooner, I didn’t mean to leave you like this! Don’t listen to what that illusion said! You never failed me! You never did anything wrong!”
Penny…
Ruby sniffled, her heart wavering as she found herself pressed against someone who was so achingly familiar that she didn’t even want to look up to meet the eyes of her savior- all she wanted to do was lay there and cry.
She still couldn’t tell if it was real or fake, if she was just imagining the oh so heartbreakingly delicate and warm touch of Penny’s aura against her skin- she knew intimately how it felt, moreso than anyone else did, and… and…
“It’s me, Ruby. You’re safe now,” Penny murmured, shifting Ruby around in her arms slightly until she was cradled up against the redhead’s shoulder, resting in her lap even as she- she…
The gentle smile, those adorable clusters of freckles, those brilliant green eyes that sparkled and glowed like emeralds and stars…
It was her.
It was her .
Penny. The real Penny Polendina, not some terrible apparition made solely to tear her down further.
Ruby hiccuped, sniffling weakly and reaching up with a trembling hand, ghosting her fingers over Penny’s cheek as if trying to confirm her veracity. “Penny… i-is… is this real… are you… are you here…?”
“Salutations, Ruby,” Penny smiled, soft and caring as she huddled Ruby a little closer, careful not to aggravate her injuries further. “I’m so, so sorry that I couldn’t protect you the way you always protected me. But I’m here now- and I’ll never leave you again.”
“H-how can you say that…? I-I failed you… I couldn’t save you back at the Vytal Festival, I barely did anything against the virus- if it wasn’t for my weakness, you wouldn’t have died in Atlas either! I- Penny… please… failed you so much… how can you just say that you’re- that you…” Ruby trailed off, unable to speak as her heart leapt into her throat, choking the words from her mouth as she just buried her face into her hands and sobbed , unable to contain herself any further. She’d thought she’d already cried herself out, managed to come to grips with her emotions… but the last few minutes had strained her to the breaking point again, and coming back into contact with the one person who meant more than anything to her… She couldn’t help herself.
And so she cried.
And as she cried, Penny’s arms continued to hold her without fail- no judgement or anger or hatred present. Just… warmth. Care. Gentleness.
“You never failed me, Ruby. You tried harder than anyone to do what was right- to save everyone. You always did, and I only wish I could have been there for you when you needed me,” Penny murmured, low and soft as she held her Ruby- because really, there was no one else in the world who meant so much to her. “I can say these things because I don’t blame you for anything. And… because I love you. You mean the world to me.”
And in an instant, the dark fog seemed to lift from Ruby’s shoulders- not completely, not enough to say she was fine again, only just a little, even. But it was still enough to let a tiny spark of hope grow in her heart, enough to let her breathe .
She stared at Penny, at a loss for words again.
And then, as she slowly found the energy to move again despite the bruises and cuts dotting her body, she wrapped Penny in a reciprocal hug, her emotions welling up again as she let out yet another sob and started crying in earnest in a whirling mix of confusion and hope and despair and exhaustion and pain and love .
It was all too much, but as she buried her face in Penny’s shoulder and just let herself feel for the first time in far too long, the only thing Ruby could say was something that Penny had once said to her first.
“Do hugs always make you feel this warm inside…?”