Chapter Text
Pearl steps into the soapy, scalding bath water and sinks down, letting herself be submerged. She almost hisses at how hot it is, but the stinging pain feels so good. She's been on her feet all day, a long shift at work, then a dance class, then a particularly demanding rehearsal, then home. Never mind the fact she had only had an apple for breakfast and a small salad for lunch. She pushes the ache blossoming in her stomach out of her mind - if she gains too much weight, she won't look right for next week's opening. She closes her eyes and tries to close her mind, but that lasts about five minutes, because Amethyst is knocking on the door.
“Heya, P, you in there?”
“Yes, Amethyst, I'm in the tub.”
“Okay. Want Chinese for dinner?”
“Do we have the money for it?”
“I'll cover it,” her roommate replies, in typical flippant fashion. Pearl doesn't have the energy to argue.
“Fine.” She stays in the bath for a little while longer, but she feels too restless now, so she picks herself up out of the now lukewarm water and drains the tub, toweling off and throwing on a robe. As she dresses in her pajamas, she can smell Chinese food wafting through the apartment. Her stomach pangs again.
“Food's here,” Amethyst calls, and Pearl pads to the kitchen, placing a minimal amount of food on her plate.
“Y'okay, Pearl? Sick?” Amethyst asks when her roommate only nibbles on her food.
“I'm fine,” she pushes her broccoli beef around on her plate rather than eating it. “How was work?”
Amethyst shrugs. Working in a knick knack store by the beach isn't what she wants to do; until she figures out what it is that she does want, she'll settle for it. “A few people have been laid off, so....”
“Well, I hope you aren't.”
“Yeah, but if I do get fired Vidalia says she can get me a job at her place. Oh! Speaking of Vidalia, I invited her and a few friends over for dinner tomorrow.”
“Do we have the supplies to make dinner tomorrow?” Pearl asks.
“If we don't, you can pick some stuff up, right?”
“Can you ? I have things to do tomorrow.” Amethyst sees how on-edge Pearl is and backs off.
“Fine, fine. Sorry.”
There's a pause. “Who else is she bringing with her?” Pearl asks.
“Greg Universe and Rose...Quartz I think? You met Greg once, you went to his concert.”
“Yes, I did.” she rolls her eyes - he really wasn't that good, in her opinion.
“Yeah, and I guess Rose is his girlfriend or something. I've met her once before, she's nice!”
“I'm sure she is,” Pearl rises from her seat. Amethyst looks down at her plate, then into her friend's eyes.
“Are you sure you're okay? You're not eating...”
Pearl doesn't meet her eyes as she repeats, “I'm fine. You can have my food. I just don't feel too well.”
“Sorry, P.”
“It's fine. Goodnight.”
“'Night.”
She closes her door and throws open the window so she can hear the distant sounds of the ocean as she falls asleep. She feels so uncomfortable and unsure of what has become of her and Amethyst. They were best friends in college, and decided to get a tiny house together after graduation, which was two years ago. But for awhile now, their breakfasts and dinners have been full of heavy silences and small talk that they've never had to rely on before. When she hears Amethyst talk with Vidalia or Greg, she hears a lot of what they used to be - the easiness, the laughter. It's been so long since it was like that between them.
She burrows herself under the covers and hopes for enough sleep tonight.
“I like your glasses,” a girl says. Pearl looks up from her phone. They're in the dressing room after rehearsal for Ondine and Lapis, the girl playing the titular water nymph, is smiling shyly at her. “I didn't know you wore them.”
“Oh! Well, I usually wear contacts but I just didn't today. You dyed your hair.”
Lapis plays with a strand of her short hair, nearly scowling at it. “Nah, just got rid of the blue. Director made me. I guess an Ondine with blue hair would've been weird.”
“Well I think you look pretty with either hair color,” Pearl shrugs and a small amount of pink tinges her cheeks. She's internally chastising herself for sounding so awkward. She's never really talked to Lapis like this before, even after eight weeks of rehearsal. Their conversations usually relate to the show, or what move to do when, or where to stand onstage. There's the occasional small talk, but even this is close for them.
Lapis smiles. “Thank you, you're sweet. Do you wanna grab dinner, or go down to the beach or something? Sorry, I know it's random, I just...would really like to get to know you better.”
Pearl frowns, remembering the little dinner date Amethyst had set up. “Sorry, I have something going on tonight.”
“Oh, sorry,” the raven-haired girl mumbles, pulling off her pointe shoes and replacing them with sandals. Pearl sees that she looks a bit defeated.
“But I would still love to. Tomorrow, after rehearsal?” Now a smile softens Lapis' face.
“Yeah, sounds good.”
Pearl throws on a jacket and smiles at Lapis, giving her a little wave as she leaves.
Amethyst is home when Pearl returns. “Hey, P, how was rehearsal?”
“Oh, it was alright. How was work?”
“They let me go.” the shorter woman says, and Pearl notices she hasn't made eye contact with her since she came in the door.
She feels a wave of sympathy for Amethyst. “I'm sorry. Are you okay?”
“I thought you'd be mad,” she says quietly.
“Why would I be mad?”
“I dunno, 'cause we don't have a lot of money and I need to work harder and this just makes things worse for us and -”
Pearl crosses her arms. “You think I care about how much money you make?”
“I dunno,” she repeats. “I just...thought you'd be mad that I messed up again.”
“I don't know why you think of me as always mad.”
“Because sometimes you are.”
The taller woman closes her eyes and tightens her lips. “I'm trying, Amethyst.”
“So am I! I try, too, really hard, in fact! But you refuse to see that!” she storms out of the room, yelling behind her shoulder, “You can put the rest of the groceries away!”
Pearl scowls, but unloads the groceries anyway. “You're cooking dinner, it's your friends that are coming over.” she yells back at her housemate.
“Fine, whatever.” Amethyst groans. Pearl steps into the shower - she smells like coffee from her shift at a cafe. She hears chatter in the kitchen as she's toweling herself off. She wraps herself in a robe, quickly pat-drying her strawberry blonde hair, wondering if she can get across the house to her room in just a robe without anyone noticing.
She steps out of the bathroom, and before she can even make a step in the direction of her room, Amethyst says, “Hey Pearl, they're here!” She glances at the group of friends around their kitchen table, and then she sees her.
Sitting next to Greg, wearing a Mr. Universe shirt over a polka-dot dress, is possibly the prettiest girl Pearl's ever seen. She has thick, curly hair that's been dyed pink, and she's laughing at something someone's said. Her eyes are practically twinkling. Pearl's stomach is fluttering and flipping and the lump in her throat is too thick to swallow so she can speak. “I, uh, er, I have to...get dressed. Give me a minute.” she says hurriedly, realizing she's in only a robe, her hair stringy and wet.
She hears Vidalia chuckle and make a comment about “classic Pearl” and they all laugh. Meanwhile, Pearl is pacing around her room, forgetting where everything is. She throws on a loose sundress and brushes her hair, then nervously stepped back into the kitchen. “Sorry about that.” she says, seeing that Amethyst ordered pizza. She tries not to sigh; at least there's salad, too.
Vidalia nudges her. “It's fine, Pearl. Amethyst has seen me in less.” The two friends crack up. Greg just looks slightly uncomfortable.
“Oh, this is Rose,” Amethyst says, gesturing to the gorgeous woman with pink hair.
“Hello,” she says, and her smooth, rich voice makes Pearl want to melt. “You must be Pearl. I've heard a lot about you.”
“R-really?” Pearl stammers.
“Yes! Amethyst has already told me all about you. I was excited to meet you.” she smiles again, that smile that makes her knees wobble. “That's a lovely dress!” Pearl hopes that whatever Amethyst and Vidalia are chuckling about isn't the emerging blush on her cheeks.
The rest of the dinner goes fine, Greg and Vidalia and Amethyst slipping into easy, friendly conversation and joking. Rose giggles when appropriate and occasionally receives small affections from Greg - pecks on the cheeks or lips and she leans into him when he puts his arm around her. Pearl spends most of the time examining her salad that she's barely eaten. “Are you okay, Pearl? Sick?” Rose asks.
“Nah, she just doesn't like food,” Amethyst replies. Pearl shoots her a look that's dangerously close to a glare.
Soon after that, the trio leaves. “It was so nice to meet you, Pearl. We should meet up soon?”
“Yes,” she replies, though she knows they'll probably barely see each other, Rose's dark, shiny eyes make her say yes. Once they're gone, Amethyst immediately says, “I'll clean up.”
“I can help...” Pearl says, attempting to break some of the tension.
“You...look really tired, P. Why don't you turn in for the night.”
She opens her mouth to protest, but realizes Amethyst would rather not listen to her right now. So she simply nods and leaves, a deep pain settling in her stomach.