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Ugghh..
With a mixture of a groan and a sigh of relief Richard let himself drop down on the couch in his dressingroom,
Another concert over.
And again a great succes, the band played better together than ever before, they had more fun on stage, the pyro-effects had all worked, the audience had been really excited. And the band interacted more than back in the old days, having small gettogethers, jamming a little (as far as the tight choreography of the show permitted it).
Richard groaned.
In the old days he never was this sore after a concert.
He put his hand around his side and kneeded his back and hip, as far as he could reach it, trying to relieve the tension that he felt in his backmuscles.
The others had teased him for getting old, and Richard had laughed it off stating he was still younger than most of them (which he was), but inwardly he knew they were right and was secretly a bit jealous at the others who for the most part were still a lot more flexible and limber than himself.
Well..apart from Flake.
Richard chuckled.
Flake always had a peculiar way of moving and from when he was young the others had teased him for being a granddad, but now that he actually *was* a granddad, his movements were still pretty similar as in his youth.
Richard shifted a little in his seat and growned again when he felt a spasm shooting through his back.
Again he tried to massage himself to be more comfortable, but only half succeeded.
His guitartech had suggested a while ago that maybe he should wear his guitar a little higher, shorten the strap a bit so the weight would be more evenly distributed and wouldn't put such a strain on his back.
But Richard had laughed that off as being 'uncool' and 'looks matter', but lately after the show in his dressingroom, he found himself thinking if maybe he should consider it after all.
He kicked off his boots, zipped his shirt open and reached to grab a towel hanging over a chair.
With a wet cloth he quickly cleaned off the thickest layer of stage make-up from his face.
In the shower he would clean off completely, but for now this would have to do.
He looked around, swift sense of panic starting when he didn't have his cigarettes and lighter at hand, but he spotted them on a sidetable and relaxed again.
He stuffed a couple of pillows against his sides for more support, lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, savored the feeling and exhaled...
He leaned his head back against the backrest of the couch and took another puff.
Closing his eyes, in his mind he went over the concert again, like he always did after a show.
Going over his guitarsolos and the errors he felt he'd made.
The solo in 'Links 2 3 4' was not exactly how he had wanted it.
He dropped he few notes on 'Puppe'.
Been a bit late at his start on 'Heirate Mich'.
Richard was glad the 'Rammstein quality police' weren't as rigid anymore as in previous tours.
Then the trouble usually already started once they walked off-stage, and one or the other would start the comments on everything that went wrong.
To be fair, they commented on anything anyone did wrong, but Richard always took it personal when someone had reprimanded him for making mistakes.
He usually tried to retaliate by pointing out the mistakes the others made, and then the whole thing would turn into a tit-for-tat, ending with some harsh words and slamming dressingroomdoors.
Another puff.
Those days were over...thank god..
He knew the others still heard his errors, but they usually refrained from mentioning them, only Paul would now and again glance at him from his side of the stage with a mischievous smile on his face, to let him know that he had spotted the mistake.
Paul always spotted everything.
Still sore.
Richard rolled his shoulders to see if that would loosen his muscles, but it didn't make a lot of difference.
Again he sank back against the couch.
From outside he heard a roar of laughter, apparently some of the others had very noisy guests in their dressingroom who already made an early start at the afterparty.
Dancemusic was turned on...yep, afterparty vibes coming in from the hallway.
Only now Richard noticed his dressingroomdoor was ajar.
Briefly he considered getting up and closing it, but as he started to move, another spasm in his back made him reconsider.
Maybe later.
Again he went back over the concert.
'Zeit', one of the new songs, was shaping up to be a crowdfavorite, and now that Paul had suggested he'd do the final bars of music so Richard had time for his costume change before the Deutschland remix, it actually fitted better then in the first couple of shows.
'Mein Teil'. Richard grinned at the memory.
This year Paul and him had been allowed by the others to ad-lib their opening sequence, and the two guitarists had made the most of that. To growing bouts of eyerolling by the others (which didn't bother Paul and by extent Richard had decided not to be bothered either), they came up with a new way of playing their guitar intro each time.
And apart from the guitar intro, now and then there'd be a little bit extra as well, Paul once surprised Richard by stroking his fluffy coat, but it had been a happy surprise, and now secretly Richard was looking forward each time to see if Paul would do it again.
Sometimes Paul even joined Richard in his spot, when Richard played the following parts, to listen to them up close, and Richard played a variation especially for Paul, just to see how he'd react.
"Guitar geeks" the others occassionally muttered after a show, but that too didn't bother the guitarists.
Richard took another puff, and slowly felt his body unwind.
It was fun playing with Paul this year too.
Sometimes they walked together to the 'Engel' stage, or had a little gettogether after that song.
Although he'd tried to convince everyone he didn't care about Paul's criticisms in the past, he *did* care, mainly because Paul had a good ear and was usually right in his critique.
And he cared about what Paul thought.
Always had.
More than he cared to admit.
Ausländer.
Richard chuckled.
The other spot in the show, where the guitarists were allowed to ad-lib, this time in the outro.
What had started as a one-off dare when Paul said "Bet you don't have the guts to give me a smooch at the end" (a bet that Richard had after a few shy tries), turned out to be a fanfavorite as well, fans in the 'Feuerzone' sometimes specifically calling out for it.
And although they always tried to do something different, Richard was always a tiny bit disappointed when there wasn't a little kissing or hugging action happening.
Tonight had been a good one.
Richard smiled.
He even thought for a second that Paul had opened his lips a little bit...but maybe he just imagined that..
A soft sound made him look up.
He turned to the door, where it seemed the sound had come from.
Nothing.
Door was still ajar, faint traces of music and laughter still coming from the hallway.
Maybe he had just imagined it.
He closed his eyes again, getting back to the show, when he felt something on his bare foot.
Again he looked up.
Was it still his imagination?
There! He felt it again..
He sat up and looked to the floor, to see two big eyes looking up at him.
Minni!
Richard chuckled.
Paul's dog Minni was very well behaved and usually stayed in her travelcot when Paul wasn't with her, but now and then she'd venture a little walk backstage to one of the others.
Minni was always happiest to be near Paul, her best friend (Paul never liked to be called Minni's 'daddy' or 'master' or 'boss', so someone had come up with the 'best friend' phrase, and that had stuck, so now they all used it), always there to protect her from anything big and loud.
Paul must be showering.
Another roar from outside.
"Well Minni" Richard reached out and stroked Minni's soft ears and back.
Minni settled herself comortably against his leg, enjoying being petted.
"Things too loud for you out there, aren't they.."
Minni looked up with her big brown eyes and nozzled his hand.
Paul always said Minni understood what you said to her.
Richard petted the couch next to him "Want to sit here?"
Minni tapped her nose against his bare leg and stood up, putting her frontlegs on the couch, looking pleadingly at Richard.
He softly put one hand under her rear to give her a lift up.
Minni jumped up on the couch, took a few hesitant steps to find a comfortable spot, then looked at Richard again.
Richard smiled and tapped his lap.
Minni put one leg on his thigh, and with a short leap, landed in Richard's lap.
Richard put out his cigarette in the ashtray.
Minni made herself comfortable, looking up to see if the soft petting hand would be back any time soon.
He scritched her head, a few extra scritches between her ears, and as Minni settled herself down, he stroked her back.
Minni put her head on Richard's warm thigh and sighed comfortably.
Slowly she closed her eyes, enjoying the warm hand on her back, fiddling a little to get even more comfortable...until she fell asleep.
Richard smiled, and leaned back again.
Closing his eyes again, feeling Minni's warm body in his lap, made him more relaxed as well.
Maybe a quick nod wasn't such a bad idea.
Minni shifted her paw a little, giving Richard's thigh a few scritches as if she agreed.
While softly stroking Minni's back, Richard dozed off too.
----
Roughly drying off his head one more time, Paul walked into his dressingroom.
Olli, his dressingroom-buddy, was already zipping up his jacket, ready to leave.
"Are you going to the afterparty?"
"No, not tonight, i'm going back to the hotel.."
Paul nodded, unceremoniously dropping the towel on a chair.
"Okay, i think i'll skip it tonight too.."
Olli put on his beanie "Want me to wait?"
"Yeah, I'll come with you, just a minute.."
Paul quickly stuffed his wristbands and some candy in his bag, and grabbed s small bag of dogtreats for Minni do go in the bag as well.
He looked at Minni's travelcot.
It was empty.
He looked around, but couldn't find the small dog.
Olli chuckled "I guess she went looking for you when we were showering.."
"Yeah, looks like..I'll get her.."
Paul walked out into the hallway, trying to spot where Minni might have gone.
He wasn't worried about her; everybody backstage knew Minni, and more importantly, Minni was a very sensible dog (more sensible than all of Rammstein together, Paul's wife occassionally said, with which Paul couldn't argue), and she always stayed clear of trouble.
Paul took a step towards Till and Flake's dressingroom, Till was always good for some of the extra special scritching Minni liked.
But when their door opened, there turned out to be quite a crowd in there, dancing to loud music and trying to talk over it even louder.
Paul grinned, the afterparty started early, but Minni would definitely not be there, loud noises weren't her thing.
He turned to Schneider's, but already with the door closed he heard the drummer was still doing his cooldown on his dressingroom drumkit, and after Minni had bounced off a chair once from the vibes of the bassdrum while listening to it, she always stayed clear from any drumming action.
Next door, the door of Richard's room seemed to be ajar.
Careful not to intrude on Richard's after-show routine, Paul knocked softly.
"Richard?"
No response.
Paul pushed the door open a little further so he could have a peek to see if Minni was there.
He grinned.
Soundly asleep, Richard and Minni both peacefully on Richard's couch.
Paul walked in the door.
They didn't wake up.
A cheeky smile lighted up Paul's face, thinking of a prank to play on Richard, but watching his fellow guitarist and his best friend Minni so calmly sleeping together, made him reconsider.
He softly touched Minni's nose, but that failed to wake her, in her sleep she just moved her paw over her nose as if to ward him off, and nestled closer to Richard's leg.
Paul grinned again.
He looked at Richard, apparently Richard had still been winding down after the show; his shirt hanging open, revealing Richard's broad chest with hints of chesthair, face make-up haphazardly wiped off, leaving a few smears here and there in the wrinkles that had started to appear.
Paul softly bit his lip, he remembered how they had all teased Richard when he started to get wrinkles, and at first Richard had been bothered by it (not that that stopped the teasing), trying all kinds of remedies to prevent it, but lately Richard had come to terms getting a few wrinkles here and there.
The chest wasn't as muscular anymore as in their early years either.
Paul had always admired that chest, even fantasized a bit about hugging it, squeezing Richard's curves.
As he stood there watching Minni and Richard sleep, he remembered having a bit of crush on the other guitarist, not just because of his looks, but also at how passionate Richard was about guitars. Just as passionate as Paul wanted to be, but always thought it a bit silly and geeky, something had held him back, thinking it wasn't 'cool' enough.
The looks didn't hurt either; Paul in his youth had looked at certain guys a little bit extra, but had never known if that meant he wanted a bit extra as well.
With Richard he had almost been sure he wanted it...almost...but where Paul usually was quick enough with words and chatty to everyone he met, in this case he had hesitated on what to do.
Often he had made sure he was near Richard, just in case a chance would arise, that he'd be around to jump on it. But the chance had never come.
In the meantime, Paul had amused himself with watching Richard out and about and telling him his opinion on his doings (all of his doings, Paul had opinions on anything) something Richard appreciated less and less.
Paul had known that, but was so used to talk to people that way, that he'd figured it was Richard's problem.
Only Olli had once told him years ago "If you want Richard to like you, you're going about it the wrong way.."
But Paul, caught off guard because someone had sensed his inner feelings, had huffed and puffed that Olli must be imagining things, and probably was into Richard himself, but he, Paul, surely wasn't, no way no how, come on, how did he even come up with this stuff.
That was ages ago, and years had come and gone.
But while Paul was watching Richard asleep, he again felt that warm feeling he'd felt when watching Richard back then.
A feeling he nowadays sometimes also felt on stage, when he was on his own side, knowing one of Richard's solos coming up.
He would look over, and when the solo really worked well, or Richard fiddled in a new variation, Paul could see the other guitarist smiling to himself, pleased with his music, sometimes quickly glancing to see if Paul was watching.
Paul would wink at him, and that would bring out a broader smile.
And it would bring out the warm feeling.
Lucky enough Paul had managed to talk the Mein Teil intro and Ausländer outro moments back in the show, convincing the other bandmembers it would give them a bit of time to relax on stage.
It had taken some effort (and some grumbling from certain bandmates who considered it mushy) but in the end the others had given in.
And Paul was glad that Richard seemed to enjoy it as well, they rarely talked up front what they were going to do, always leaving it for the moment to see what would happen.
But the amount of hugging and cuddling that had happened this year, was more than Paul had ever imagined.
And the smooching..
Paul grinned fondly, tonight's smooch had been a nice one again.
Paul had even, ever so briefly, opened his lips, to savour Richard's lips better.
Richard always made sure to grab a few mints before the song anyway, but lately caught Paul off-guard a few times by eating other candies before it, which had surprised paul when he tasted strawberry flavour in a smooch once.
Again Paul softly chuckled remembering the faces of the others, when backstage he had mentioned the taste. The grumbling getting louder of "Not very professional" and "Not supposed to enjoy it" as it was "Only for the show'.
Tonight it had been peach..but Paul didn't mention it to the others anymore, that was something between the guitarists.
Again he looked at Richard, still asleep, lips slightly parted.
He wondered if they still tasted of peach..
"Paul? Where are you, are you coming?"
Hearing the soft voice from the hallway, Paul shook himself out of the thoughts that had occured in his head.
Deciding not to wake up his fellow guitarist, he went down on his knees and softly whistled a high-pitched whistle, that he often used with Minni.
Minni opened an eye, and on seeing her best friend near her, she gently slid off Richard's lap, and let Paul grab her on his arm to carry her out.
"Was it nice laying there Minni?" Paul softly whispered in her ear as he walked out.
Minni liked his nose.
He chuckled.
-----
Another day, another concert over.
And again Richard was in his dressingroom, chilling after the show.
Barefoot and shirtless he walked to his dressingroom door, that again was ajar, to close it.
While grabbing the handle he hesitated and let go again.
He left it, and went to his couch to sit down and make himself comfortable.
His back was still sore, but not as bad as the previous concerts.
He quickly kneeded his shoulders, arms and back to release some of the tension, and felt better.
Again a great show, lots of fun was had.
Paul had stroked his back a few times, and quickly hugged him when the spotlights were elsewhere.
Richard had tried a new solo variation and was pleased with the result.
When he heard a familiar sound he pushed himself up and saw Minni walking his way.
He held out his hand for Minni to sniff it, and she gave him a quick lick in return.
Minni put her frontpaws against the couch, looking at Richard with a look of anticipation.
Richard chuckled and again gave Minni a little lift so she could get on the couch.
But Minni seemed to be a dog on a mission this time, she wasn't content just being on the couch, she leapt up on Richard's legs, and put her frontpaws on his chest, her nose nudging his chin.
Only now Richard noticed there was something in Minni's collar.
A piece of paper, rolled up so it wouldn't slip out.
"Is that for me?"
Minni licked his chin.
Richard gently pulled the paper out from under the collar and unrolled it.
"You're cute"
Richard chuckled and stroked Minni's nose.
"Aaaww, thank you Minni...I think you're cute too.."
Minni again settled down in Richard's lap, looking up expectantly to see if there was any chance of some petting.
Richard read the paper again, and only now realised that, however clever Minni might be..she was not the one writing on a piece of paper..
Then who did?
Was it one of the guests of the other guys? There had been quite a few running around backstage...
Hmm... Richard scratched his chin.. That wasn't likely, Minni would not go near someone she didn't know that easily..
Minni got impatient and with her paw she scritched Richard's leg to get his attention.
He scritched her head in return and stroked her back gently while thinking it over.
Was it Paul's handwriting?
He looked at the piece of paper again...it could be Paul's.
Had Paul written it for one of the guests backstage?
Trying to get some attention from someone?
And Minni had mistakingly brought it here instead?
But Minni would do what Paul wanted...
And Paul would probably make sure Minni would go where he wanted her to go..
So how come Minni got here..
Richard leaned back in the pillows
knock knock
"Can i come in?"
Richard looked up and smiled.
"Yeah, coming to pick up Minni? I think she walked in here by mistake.."
Paul smiled too and plopped down on the couch next to Richard "No that's okay, she likes it here.."
Looking at Minni in Richard's lap, looking back at her best friend without bothering to get up "She thinks there's some real good scritching in this room.."
Richard chuckled, and held out the piece of paper "Here..you want that back?"
Paul grinned a cheeky smile "You can keep it.."
Richard looked at his bandmate, a thought suddenly dawning in his head.
He didn't know what to say, but Paul's smiling face with the chubby cheeks, and Paul's eyes looking at him with warmth, just like he did more and more on stage, awakened a warm feeling in his belly.
His lips suddenly dry, he licked them, still unsure what to say, hoping Paul would say something...anything..
But uncharacteristically Paul didn't and still smiled at him, leaning his head back against the backrest, looking at Richard.
"Uhm..good show tonight.."
"Yeah.."
Okay, that didn't help much...
"I..uh..I liked your new dance on Zick Zack.."
"The fans on my end like it too.."
Not getting anywhere..
Richard felt Minni shifting in his lap, her paw scritching his thigh as if to spur him on.
Paul's cheeks bulging as he smiled made Richard want to squeeze them...or kiss them.. or both..
Paul scrunched his lower lip a bit, then smiled again, while ever so slightly leaning closer to Richard.
Another scritch on Richard's thigh.
Richard bridged the few centimeters and put his lips on Paul's while closing his eyes.
The feeling was familiar, but new at the same time.
He tasted Paul's lips, and to his relief felt the other guitarist responding.
For a few moments they savoured being there, lips softly playing.
Then Richard leaned back again, laying his head against the backrest as well.
"Hmmm..nice.."
"Caramel.. I thought I tasted that on stage.."
Richard chuckled "Yeah, I was in the mood for something sweet.."
Paul chuckled as well.
They stared into eachother's eyes.
Minni settled herself on Richard's lap with a satisfied sigh.
Now it was Paul's turn to lean in, putting his hand on Richard's jaw, he found Richard's lips again.
The other guitarist eagerly responded, putting his hand on Paul's cheek, softly stroking it.
Paul sensed Richard opening his lips a little, inviting Paul to more.
When the tip of Paul's tongue ventured out, touching Richard's for the first time, they both sensed the surprise, but didn't pull back.
Instead their hands moved further over eachother's bodies, Paul making good use of the fact that Richard was bare from the waist up to touch all the parts that he all those years ago fantasized about.
Richard put his hand on Paul's leg, at first letting it lay there, then slowly lingering a little further upwards.
Paul smiled into the kiss, Richard still stroking the bulging cheek with his other hand, smiled as well.
"I've long wanted to do that.."
"So did I.."
Again they leaned in, eager to make the most of this moment, both wanting it to last.
Richard held out his arm, inviting Paul in his embrace, warm against his bare body.
He wrapped his hand over Paul's shoulders, feeling Paul's hand sliding up and down from his waist to his chest and back, as if, now Paul had free access to all of Richard, he couldn't decide where to start first.
Another kiss, this time warm and wet, passionately exploring eachother.
When things heated up, Richard shifted position and Minni no longer had a lap to sit on.
She jumped down, and walked back to the dressingroomdoor, back to Paul and Olli's.
Olli was still there, tying his shoes.
"Well, Minni? Where did you leave Paul?"
Minni walked over to Olli and put a paw on the nose of his shoe.
Olli smiled "Oh, it's like that, is it?"
Minni went to her travelcot and made herself comfortable.
Olli chuckled "Good girl Minni.." and went to Paul's bag to get out Minni's treats.