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Paul sat solemnly inside the church. He occasionally glanced up to see his brother and Isaac flirting with women, and the women smiling and laughing in response. Their hands touching the guys arms before sliding off to cover their laughs. He missed that intimate, close affection that he had felt before. In his head he was berating himself over and over again for lashing out at Amy the last time they met.
He scrolled through his phone looking back at the old text messages they exchanged. “fine, come over” kept catching his eyes. It was the last message Amy had sent him before he went to her home and messed up. He had honestly half expected her to ignore his request of inviting him over. Now he wishes she had, at least that way he would have never called her a bitch in her own home. If that had never happened, they could still be sending messages to each other, comforting each other when their own families couldn’t. Paul turned off his phone and left the church.
XX
Paul had bought some beers and stood outside the door to his friend’s apartment. He knocked on the door waiting for it to be opened. “Coming!” said a voice on the other side. His friend opened the door and invited him in. “Hey Paul, what you doing here?” Paul held up the beers. “Came here to chill with you guys.” His friend smiled, “Nice, but bro is working right now so it’s only me here. But come in and have a seat, we’ll crack some cold ones.” His friend moved back and opened the door wider, Paul stepped into the apartment and placed the beers on the coffee table before sitting in the armchair. He grabbed a beer and chugged it down before his friend sat down on the sofa and grabbed one.
“Oh so it’s one of those days.” His friend raised up his own beer. “Cheers to our troubles.” His friend gulped down his beer and Paul chugged down his second.
XX
An hour later and Paul and his bro were in a battle royale match playing against some of the easiest enemies Paul had ever seen. Over the click of the buttons and joysticks moving around, his friend spoke. “Hey man, I’m sorry about the last time you were here. We shouldn't have made jokes about your girl. Y’know, calling her your sugar mama and that she only was with you for your dick. It was…insensitive. We didn’t realize how serious your feelings were for Kayla.” Paul listened to his friend and mindlessly killed an enemy before he was killed by one of the enemy's teammates. “It’s all good bro, I’m not even with her anymore.” He put the controller down and took a sip of his beer. His friend let himself be killed by an enemy before putting his own controller down. “What happened? It seemed like you really liked her a lot.” Paul shrugged his shoulders. “It was just a stupid fight, shouldn’t have even fought in the first place.” His friend patted his shoulder. “Bro if it was just a stupid fight then go get her back, you were so mad at us when we called her your sugar mama and you stormed out the place. I’m telling you bro, if you don’t clear it up quick and get back with her you’re gonna regret it. Your feelings for her won’t leave easily, you're not that type of guy.” Paul wasn’t sure if it was his friend's words or the alcohol mixing with his feelings, but he could feel he wanted to go and try. He stood up from his seat and headed for the door before turning to his friend. “You know what bro, I think I’ll do that. See you later.” With that, Paul opened the door and left his friend's place.
XX
Paul will admit he didn’t think this through very much, but all he could think of was seeing Amy. He sent the Uber away and stood on the sidewalk looking into Amy’s window. As he looked through the window, he could see Amy and her husband. They were smiling and dancing with their daughter. While watching Amy twirl and dance with her daughter, the night he spent in Vegas with Amy played in his mind. He and Amy had danced with the lights off but the curtains open, moonlight spilling in through the windows and letting them see enough to dance in the dark. All of a sudden, Paul felt like the distance between him and Amy had grown a million miles. Paul looked away from the window and contemplated his actions. Why o why did he get so mad at Amy when she was telling him she worked hard to get where she is? Maybe it’s because he asked her for money that time and was embarrassed when she didn’t say she would give it to him? Fuck even if he was embarrassed he should have never called her a Bitch. Paul snapped back to attention when he heard the garage door opening. He quickly hid behind some bushes and watched as Amy’s husband George drove off with June in the back seat.
XX
Amy smiled as she watched George and June play together, eventually June asked them all to dance together and Amy obliged. She grabbed June’s small hand and spun with her while George held June’s other hand and danced along. Out of the corner of her eye Amy saw a familiar face. She looked through the window when the dance allowed her to, and there was Paul standing outside, he looked like he was thinking hard about something. Amy stopped and turned to George. “I think you and June should head to your mother’s home now, it’ll get dark soon and there’s some things I forgot to pack. I’ll go in my car and meet you guys there soon.” George smiled confusedly. “Just pack it now and we’ll wait for you so we can all go together.” June smiled up at her, apparently waiting for her response. “No you guys, it’ll take a little while. You should really go before it gets dark, there’s not much light on the way to your mom’s”. With that Amy hurried them along to the garage where the bags were already packed into George’s car. She belted June into her seat and George rolled down his window, already seated in the driver’s seat. “We’ll be waiting for you. Don’t take too long.” He clicked in his seatbelt. “Bye Mommy,” June said happily from the back seat. Amy waved goodbye and watched as her husband and daughter backed out of the garage and drove off.
As soon as the car was out of sight she rushed out of the garage and headed to the bushes in front of her house. “Paul, where are you? I already saw you so stop hiding.” Amy heard the bushes rustle before a tall and sheepish looking Paul stepped out. “Why are you here? You here to ruin my marriage? Or did you come to call me a bitch again?” Paul stammered trying to get his answer out. “Amy no, I’m… I came here to apologize. Please just let me speak before you send me away.” Amy wanted to yell at Paul but then she saw a neighbor’s light turn on and decided she needed to get herself and Paul out of public view. She grabbed his arm and pulled him through her front door before slamming it shut. She stomped further in and entered the kitchen to grab herself a cup of water. She took large gulps before laying into Paul. “Why the fuck are you here? If you think me and you are gonna get together and have sex again then you are wrong. Last time was a mistake and you made it very obvious it was a mistake before you left.” Paul looked at her with puppy eyes, “Amy I know I messed up. I should have never asked you for money and I shouldn’t have called you a bitch. Please Amy I don’t want to fight with you, I just want us to be good again.” Amy turned away from him and placed her glass in the sink. She was debating on whether to fill it with more water to drink or throw it at Paul’s face. While debating she felt a sudden weight on her back and arms wrap around her front.
Before she could tell him to get off she could feel something warm and wet on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Amy I messed up.” She could hear Paul sniffle and she knew what she felt on her shoulder was tears. She could feel him squeeze her tighter. “The happiest I’ve been in a long time was with you. Amy I’ve never liked any girl as much as you. I don’t know how to…how to…ah fuck,” Paul took a deep trembling breath. “Please can we just, pretend like I never fucked up. I missed you so much afterwards. I missed texting you. I missed the time we spent together when it was just us two. Please Amy.” Amy felt conflicted. Paul’s words had hurt her so much the last time they spoke, she ended up sobbing after he left and even during the drive to Ojai there were still tears running down her face. But she had missed being able to talk to someone when her husband was distant. And then there was the fact that her relationship with Paul only started because she was trying to dig up information on Danny. Plus she has a husband.
Amy was spun around while her thoughts were running wild. Paul looked her straight in the face. Amy could see his eyes were red from the tears he was trying to hold back. Paul gulped before continuing on. “Amy I don’t…I don’t care that you have a husband, I already fell for you even knowing that you have one. My feelings are not gonna go away, please I’ll never disrespect you again.” Paul slid down until his knees were on the floor and his head rested on Amy’s stomach. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. “I’ll do anything you want Amy.” His arms were wrapped around Amy’s lower body and she couldn’t move without him moving first. She looked down at his head, a million thoughts racing through her mind. A part of her felt sorry for him. He fell for her even though from the start her intentions had never been pure. She wondered if she wasn’t with George, if she had never met him first or even Danny and had just met Paul, if they could have had a normal relationship. George was distant and he seems to be cheating on her with Mia, or at least wants to cheat with Mia, she wondered if she needed to feel sorry for her husband. June she would feel sorry for, but maybe June would understand when she gets older.
Amy wished she could make a more pragmatic and morally right choice, but she could feel her heart making the decision for her. She ran her fingers through Paul’s hair and called him up. “Ok Paul, I forgive you. But please, don’t hurt me like that again and you have to make sure to mmph,” before Amy could finish speaking Paul was already kissing her. He pulled away and smiled at her. Amy couldn’t bring herself to finish what she was saying. He hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear. “Thank you. Thank you, I won’t do anything you don’t like, okay.” He peppered her face with kisses before hugging her tightly again. Amy simply held him close and stroked his back, hoping that she could protect this little love she had been gifted.