Chapter Text
Luna runs her hand over the fine sand that dusts the grass along the cliff side, watching it ping and jump, springing up into the air as she sweeps her hand gently back and forth. She’s not quite sure she completely likes the feel of it. It’s a bit ticklish. Or scratchy. But Narcissa did call out for her to wait, so she will.
Luna has waited an awfully long time. For Narcissa.
But here she is. Crunching, fast footfalls coming up behind her.
Luna smiles to herself. Moves her hand up to touch the pink-flowered shrubs that cling to the edge of the path here. Sea Pink, as it’s known. But Luna knows it better as Thrive. “Aren’t Bill and Fleur lucky,” Luna comments as the footsteps stop. “I saw some of this growing in the garden to their cottage. Did you see?”
“I think we are all lucky,” comes Narcissa’s voice. Warm and gentle. A little bit careful. “We are certainly all thriving today.”
Luna stands up from her crouch. Turns to look at her. “A wonderful day,” Luna whispers. Reaches up to the flowers in her hair and absentmindedly rubs some lavender between her fingers. “It…how funny. I’m…now that it’s here, it doesn’t feel quite right. Quite real. I’ve— I’m not used to everyone…understanding.”
And Luna’s eyes dart away without meaning to, back to the plants. To the sand. Back to solid things that make sense. The ground beneath her bare feet.
Stares at her feet.
And feels a burst of heat hit her. A flash of orange light. And then a large bird lands on her shoulder. Chirping soothingly.
Narcissa tuts. “Is that wise? You’re far too heavy for the poor witch. Your talons will pierce the fabric of her— No, not at all. She is unaccustomed to it. Go on, now.”
Luna smiles weakly. Brings up a hand to blindly stroke Fawkes’ downy feathers. “She’s right, Mr Fawkes. I know you do enjoy gobbling up wrackspurts, but your talons do still hurt.”
Narcissa tuts even more loudly. “Well, you see? Shoo! Off! Go and see Harry whilst he’s here, I know you want to. I shall care for Miss Lovegood.”
Fawkes opens his wings wide and launches off her shoulder to soar away towards the beach. Luna winces as the talons slice into her even more. Silly bird.
“Episkey,” Narcissa sighs, coming closer. “Oh, and your top. Reparo. There we are.”
Luna laughs. Which is strange, because even though there’s a growing warmth in her chest, she feels it might get stuck in her throat and spill into tears. And she just knows that if she looks at Narcissa, she will see. Narcissa always sees. Like Luna. She sees everything.
Almost everything.
I certainly don’t see everything, Miss Lovegood. But I have seen my fair share of tears. There is no need to hide from me
Luna feels the tears fall and shakes her head without looking up. Rubs at her eyes.
Then grabs Narcissa’s arm and starts walking further along the cliff path, eyes lowered to distract herself with all the interesting things they pass.
Narcissa walks with her. They walk in silence, listening to the crash of the waves, sun warming their shoulders.
“Would you prefer I speak aloud?” Narcissa murmurs after a few minutes. “I apologise if I have invaded your privacy. I…am accustomed to reading surface thoughts, unless told otherwise. And I merely wished to know what is troubling you. You are always so…strong. So certain.”
Luna nods to herself. “You can speak however you’d like, Narcissa. But thank you for asking. I know you’re still learning to ask these kinds of things.”
Narcissa barks out a laugh that turns into an embarrassed groan. “Well…yes. That is true. I— but how on Earth do you know? I’ve barely spoken to you. And yet, you…”
She drifts off. Luna decides to look up. Decides she’s much too curious to look at Narcissa rather than the ground, no matter how many interesting plants and flowers they pass.
Narcissa glances sideways at her. Gently squeezes her arm. “I believe I understand why you are upset,” she says softly. “For you see…things have come full circle today, haven’t they? For everyone. But you have seen the circle all along. Have been waiting for this day to arrive.”
Luna’s heart flutters. And she has to stop herself swaying closer to Narcissa. It’s like there are magnets inside of her. Which has never been a problem before, but it seems they’ve chosen today to wake up.
Or maybe it’s just that they’re finally close enough to react.
“You’ve been waiting too,” Luna replies. “You’ve done very well at that. At hiding. Very patiently. Even though you’re not very good at hiding at all. It doesn’t suit you.”
Narcissa stills for a moment. Her expression disappears. Her body tenses. Stops.
But only for a few seconds, before a worried, shy expression flickers onto her face. Closely followed by a small smile. Another squeeze to Luna’s arm. “I had people to hide with,” Narcissa whispers. “People to wait with. People who understood, and who could see me as I am.”
Luna smiles back. “I have people like that. Ginny. And Neville. And Harry, sometimes. It’s nice to have friends like that, isn’t it? Much better than before.”
Narcissa swallows.
Starts walking faster. “Yes, much better than before.”
Oh dear. Wrackspurts. They’ve found a new target to swarm.
Luna reaches over to bat some away. “Shoo! Leave Narcissa alone!” she hisses.
Narcissa shakes her head. At least they are keeping me company. The alternative is far worse, I assure you
Luna frowns. What?
Her hands stop batting. Fall to her sides in confusion. You like being kept company by wrackspurts?
A jumbled head is better than no head at all
Oh. “That happens to you?” Luna asks worriedly. “Your head disappears?”
Narcissa sighs shakily. “Not very often, but…yes. Sometimes I disappear entirely. Headfirst. With no way of stopping it. It…it is terribly frightening. Much more frightening than wrackspurts.”
Oh dear. Oh that does sound frightening. “When does it happen?” Luna asks, staring at Narcissa’s head and watching very carefully for even a hint of a disappearance.
Narcissa’s head nods a few times. Then she shrugs. “Ironically, it happens when I am…most afraid,” she breathes out.
Luna reaches out and pressed her palm to the side of Narcissa’s face. “And you feel it? The fear overflows? Bursts out of you?”
Narcissa stills again, but not like last time. Stops and turns to look at her, surprised.
Pulls Luna’s hand off her face. “No, I’m not like Bella. It doesn’t burst out of me. It…goes inward. It sort of…it does fill me, I suppose. Seeps inside of me. Covers me, and numbs me.”
Luna moves her hand back to Narcissa’s warm cheek. “Starting with your head,” she muses.
Narcissa grabs her hand again, less gently this time. “Why are you touching me? I’m obviously uncomfortable. Stop that.”
Luna pulls away. “Oh, you are? I’m sorry. I just thought if I was touching your head, it wouldn’t be able to disappear.”
Narcissa scoffs. “It…why? Why in Merlin’s name would you think that? We’re speaking figuratively. My head does not…vanish!”
“Have you tried it?” Luna asks.
And takes Narcissa’s hand, rather than touching her face, if that is too much. Too close. “Have you ever disappeared whilst someone was holding you tight?”
She holds Narcissa’s hand tightly. Not wanting her to go away.
Narcissa looks away out to sea. Rubs the back of her neck with her other hand. “I…well, I…”
Narcissa runs out of words. But her face isn’t disappearing, and it is starting to go quite pink.
So it seems like it’s working.
Luna smiles and tugs Narcissa along again. “There. Now we know what to do. If you ever feel like you’re disappearing, then you can call someone over to hold onto you. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. I don’t. You can always call me to hold you.”
“It— but I don’t just disappear. I— I freeze,” Narcissa stutters.
Freeze?
Luna shakes her head. “You’re not cold. Narcissa Malfoy is cold. Not you. And we all know that Narcissa Malfoy was just pretend.”
Narcissa tries to pull her hand free. “I do freeze. It happened to me long before I was Narcissa Malfoy, and it continues to happen to me. It happened a few days ago, and it is not safe. It is harmful. It is harmful to people who are close to me. So— so you cannot— let go!” she snaps.
Wrenches her hand away.
Stumbles backwards.
And now the wrackspurts are back. The shock is back. The fear is back.
Narcissa looks at Luna, blank-faced.
Then looks down at the flowers growing along the path.
And then apparates away.
Luna stares at the empty path. Feels the silly warmth in her chest again, this time sinking down into her stomach.
Disappeared. Wasn’t ready yet. Still too soon.
Why is it always still too soon?
And here Luna is, back again.
Waiting for Narcissa.