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Make me believe this isn't disillusional

Summary:

One Omega Sergeant is invited to vastly step out his comfort zone. No one told him it meant one post inducing crisis. Thanks Scorch.

....okay perhaps, let's thank the other two.

Notes:

• What if I just, (Sides eye KT novels) aggressively add-in between things to the plot. Yes? Yes.

• Timeline wise, I place this series post Hard Contact and in-between True Colors. If a authentic friendship were to be made and believe genuine, True Colors ideally seem a good starting point. The fourth novel is where things get tricky.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Does the where's and whys matter?

Chapter Text

 

The weather that day in Galactic City was pleasant, benign. Nothing overly translucent, just spoon-fed sunshine clumping through clouds and so forth. No sight of rain to ruin the day so he can take that for the calmness this was.

He’ll take it keeping in mind he’s heading into the unknown.

“Vod I can hear your brain steaming from here.” Scorch jostled his rerebraces, knocking his attention back to the issue at hand. “Udesiir ner vod, udesiirrrrrrr okay? The jetti won’t try anything right guys?”

“If I say right will it help?” Fixer looked too them both, ignoring Sev pinpointed buy’ce turn. “Do you feel helped?”

“Why would you say that, it’s obvious the guy’s stressed.” Sev groaned detesting the encouraging thumbs up shoved in Niner’s face by Fixer. “He’s walking face first into an open sink hole with no guidelines. Clearly he doesn’t know what’s up here like we do.”

“I don’t go to the jetti temple enough to care about the temple?” Niner questioned himself whereas Scorch gasped.

Sev paused in his irritation to mull over his comment. “Touché.” His helmet nodded with an answer. 

“Boss it’s his first time!” Scorch kicked Delta’s leader cuisse from where they stood side by side beneath the shuttle hand rails. “This calls for celebration right? - ouch! don’t kick back I’m delicate!”

“Anyways celebration food later?” Fixer asked over the white noise of their talking inside their crimson lighted shuttle.

 “Nothing like prong wings and beer for good time vibing.” Sev emitted satisfaction at his idea, his broadened shoulders flexed outward. “I say we go to that new bbq place we checked out last time.”

“Later though.” He told Fixer only to point fully extended index finger Niner’s way. “No questions Omega vod, you’re in this too. Gonna pop your little first timer visitation cherry today.”

Hearing his grin from his audio caster Niner huffed confused to the striking gauntlet plate knocks between Sev and their green katarn companion. "That's fine?..." 

“Skirata doesn’t give you time to see things on Triple Zero?” Sev asked bringing four t-visors to look at Niner’s black buy’ce. “You don’t just stick around to the dorms and Quibba do ya?”

“He does and no.” Niner modulated voice crackled through their comma. “It never seemed appropriate to go see the people who threw us in this war."

"So, what's your shore leave look like?"

"Let’s say I’m riding the waves to see what’s good to visit.”

“Oh a vagabond explorer?” Fixer cut in impressed.

“I know your lying.” Scorch stated, disbelief strong in his vowels in their travel cabin. “Nothing about the floating monks ever made you do a shabla double take once? What about Etain and Bardan, they get exemption?”

“No.” Niner said. “They’re not bad people to be around I think anyway- "

“You think.” Sev snorted under his breath. “Oh how wonders grow.”

“Be nice.” Boss scolded. “Clearly Skirata did some heavy lifting wordplay with his boys so he wouldn't care that much.”

“I never said, hey wait.” Niner said offend on his own behalf. He took a deep breath to roll setting tension from his shoulders. It wouldn’t get anywhere being angry at this bunch he knows, but unlike before the comradery feels authentic.

“I seen them both do things; it just wasn’t enough to make me lose my mind over what they’re capable of.” He gripped the silver chrome handlebar above their heads and locked his knees up for the slight jerky landing. “Though if I had to sit in a room packed with jetti to one trainer." He stopped, leaving the question to the air.

“Consider this your opportunity to crack up that thick skull padawan.” Fixer encouraged as the shuttle door ramp activated for them. “No verpine blade needed were we’re going.”

Niner couldn’t help a swift side eye at Sev while he released the overhead handrail, watching Delta squad prepped to exit. Sev didn’t respond but Niner saw his palm subtle widening.

One look away from Sev grumbles Niner lastly exited out their transport shuttle behind him into the outer jettise strange temple and choose to do what the rest of his Omega vod couldn’t do.

Yet.

Look beyond assurances and promised claims and look for oneself.  

Nothing he’d assume about the jetti temple could have prepared him for the sheer ziggurat vacuum of occupied space that was the temple. The landing shuttle zone they occupied was blighted with weaving transporters and shuttle TIES bustling about. Nothing stagnant lied around them.

“Okay men you know the drill don’t act brand new.” Boss told the others checking his holo tablet for their receiver intel. “Let’s not waste too much time.”

“Boss you can’t forget our scenic sight viewing.” Scorch extended his arm out to point Niner’s way.  “And how can we forget our new eye vod in arms? But sure lead along.”

Di’kut bunch you are.” Boss grumbled looking about their surroundings. “Let’s move.” Taking to head without pause at the mocked ‘let’s move’ from two of the four behind him. Niner just walked behind them hyper processing the scenery.

Am I still on Triple Zero?” He thought walking behind Fixer sure green katarn armor. Familiar figures of brown and light beige robes littered the grounds as did civilian mail carriers. One jetti in navy clothing scampered past the five, his distinctive light steps curving past them to curve around a well tuck to corner hallway. The looping dim hallway was alight with small orbs seemingly circling back into this unknown path fading into the walls it seemed.

Niner hadn’t realized he stopped to observe until Fixer voice call him, making him speed step to play catch up.

“I’ll need to make sure you don’t get distracted, stick here with me, don’t hang back.” Fixer motion at him. “We won’t eat you.”


“How often do you four come here.” Niner asked him, walking under a ginormous archway leading to another outer stone arch, the ground zig zag lining mosaic works linking to another line to line to line. Statues of jettise memorabilia sporadically place about stairwells, symmetrical and not lighting fixtures place up close and far out on walls big as the human eye can obtain. Logistically, it makes no sense.  

“Would it be treason to say often.” Fixer answered taking in Niner’s small head movements taking in they're now. “He’s fascinated.” “Our mission reports if they don’t come by General Zey are pickups from the council.”

“Perks of being the Chancellor favorite pick me squad!” Scorch called back to them. 

“Palpatine issues you four?” Niner asked awed, pressing a fine back note marker to that. “No one else over see your assignment, not even..”

“Vau the old chakaar? Not as much as he’d like thank god.” Fixer said motioning Scorch away from his curious peak at them. “It doesn’t change our assignment but we didn’t go through hell to be refrain right?”

Niner visibly suppressed the wince trying to leave his throat, suffice clearing it right as Scorch looked again, motioning vaguely to Sev. Sev just stared at Scorch and crossed his arms.

 Niner watched the two and quietly hoped it wasn’t too much about him.

“Hey Niner, you’re not offended are you?” Fixer asked. “I wouldn’t do it now but I know sly comments on my mentor might have set me off.” Fixer vaguely stretch the words out. "Never had that like you Omega kids so." Fixer popped his tongue. 

“Can’t say that’s worth a smack.” Niner said. “What do you think of buir- sorry Kal.”

“Ahhh it doesn’t matter I don’t have any say on the guy? I know he cares for his own  but he’s…..” Fixer suggestively rubbed his vambrace instead. “He’s enough to get under Vau skin.”

Niner hummed half distracted by the grey oblique architectural checkering of circular sigils they walked above. And on them, various species of jetti conversing or wandering past their band of five. “You’re not wrong.”

“How you’re holding up back there?” Scorch asked Niner. “The place freaks Fixer out.”

“It does not.”

“It does too!” Scorch whispered fussed at Fixer. “The place makes my skin itch like I’m being watched by telepathic monks.”

“Uh you forgot lady monks, show some respect.”

“What the fuck, dude you mean nuns?” Fixer sputtered trying not to laugh in time to Sev’s aggrieved sighs. “They’re jettise nuns you dumb motherfucker.”

“Monks, lady monks what’s the difference?” Scorch asked right for Boss voice to cut through their conversation.

“Try to look lively we’re entering the conclave chamber.” Boss voice came over their comms, leaving Niner curious to what lied ahead.

“Oh great!” Scorch called delighted. “Why wouldn’t I like looking at more boring brown robes? Bet I can be a stylish jetti."

“I heard they’re good to sleep in after they been washed just right.”

“How do you know that?”

“Shut-up.” Sev snapped making Niner laugh quietly to himself at Scorch defensive hand raise. “You ask too many questions.”

“Dude I just want to know how you find out they’re so soft?” Scorch asked the man’s defensive crossed arms.

“Scorch stop provoking him you know he’s sensitive about textured things.” Fixer cracked, earning a scowling buy’ce stare. “Remember how much he lost his osik over that gelatin representative shaking our hands back on Foyash.”

“It was wet and slimy and I don’t like. Wet. Things. Covering. My. Hands.” Sev annoynace announced itself loud and clear through their shared comm. His hidden face worsen the raspy anger growing in volume beneath his buy’ce.

“Oh scary jellied hands!” Scorch waved his hands invitingly to the man’s face. "The gelatin man will eat youuuuuuu!'"

Feeling the murderous intent pooling in the air him Niner took a step forward, bravely bumping his knuckles to Sev back.

He knows he really shouldn’t but something about his taped anger reminded him of At’ika. Was it his temperament?  

“Easy Sev.” Niner consoled, feeling the sniper freeze beneath his gloved hand, rubbing straight lines up and down his beskar’gam shoulder.

Why was he doing this, why was he's helping someone who still sneers at his team at every given opportunity.

A vision of Atin came to mind then, spotty flash of memory. 

Him, heartbroken and new to their squad, desperately picking up old chips of himself dulled after Geonosis. Niner offered nothing more than unasked support and listening ears until Atin said enough, leaving it as that.

Since that evening Niner hasn’t necessarily opened his palms to help unless they crammed in asking, though that likely won’t happen soon. His team has new interests in mind these days.

Maybe? Maybe like this he can try extending that same help. Give his team space.

“You think they’d be this teasing if someone else outside the team picks on you? They’ll vaporize the poor bastard before he remembers to blink. We’re good, your good.”

Sev still frozen under his touch looked to Niner’s gloved hand on his back eerily still. Niner couldn’t catch his breath even over their shared comms, sheer silence closing in from each Delta member one by one.  

“I know we don’t know another like how you four know Atin but it’s good you have people to rely on. Even if they’re annoying, so.” Niner removed his hand to place his arms behind his back.

He hadn’t realized all of Delta was silent until he did, and then he startled, beyond embarrassed.  

Fierfek.

Ni ceta.” He got out hoarsely to Sev, grateful his buy’ce save him from showing face. “Didn’t mean to overstep, that wasn’t smart of me.” At the still silent response he cleared his throat again, hoping someone would wiggle them out this awkwardness. This was a 4 to 1 ratio he'd lose viscously. “We should keep going.”

“If you’re sure.” Boss evenly said, turning back around to guide them on, the others picking up where they left off. Sev rather attempt shaking off his touch slowly shrugged into it as if he were trying to molt to passed touches.  Fixer however kept his side pacing with Niner.

“Not bad for a Skirata boy.” Fix comm Niner privately, amused clearly at the ordeal. “He doesn’t even like it when we touch him.” And that was all said for awhile.

Feeling he made a fool of himself Niner bite his tongue and resorted to silence, looking for reprieve in the vibrant quietness of the Temple. He soon lost track again to where they were in the elongated halls from Delta’s shenanigans.

I should be more upset.” Niner thought, again staring in awe at the grandiose halls containing energetic quiet chatter and vibrant flurries of color humanoids and people.

This wasn’t the solemn quiet he initially expecting walking down those great halls of strangers.

Not quite in the strict studious manner just not ominously quiet either. Not even the grey sterile environment he knew well as a snotnose tat'ka.

This place, this temple; it felt like what warm white noise sounds like.

Kal’buir time and time again told him and others how callous the jetti were, uncaring of the matters of all over one. Cold children snatchers serving for no one save their principles with the force. Uncaring for the matters of the general galaxy beyond the Republic’s whistleblowers.

How do they fake their kindness?” Niner thought watching a young jetti walk past them, bowing fluidly without pause to the five commandos. A Nautolan with stunning dark blue features it looked like. What surprised Niner the most were the elaborated face veil that covered her lower face, small shell fragments spotty in his vision zooming past.

Cobalt blue.”  He thought to himself surprised while they passed one another. “How long has it been since I wore my own?” Recalling his long past blue katarn armor. He’d gotten over himself when it was mandatory for his squad matte black ones.

He placed he’d gotten over himself like he told himself time and time again.

“See something interesting?” Fixer quietly asked.

“………. Maybe.” Niner got out continuing their steady trek onwards.  “She remined me of myself a bit,…” Right as Boss cut in again.

“Alright here’s what’s going on, we need to head to the council tower over at the main hall. I can’t say how long it’ll take so do you prefer waiting here?”

“There’s no need for you to stand guard over me and waste your time.” Niner said. “Wouldn’t it be inconvenient?”

“Not any more than what we’re doing now showing face.”

“Then I’ll join, I wouldn’t want to make a bad impression.”

“No, see, I don’t want you anymore uncomfortable then what you are.” Boss said point blank. “If the jetti saw any of us as threats we’d be sliced pastrami meat don’t you think? You Omega squad don’t have reasons to trust anything they do and now you’re in their home with as much ease as Ordo talks about CC’s.”

Ignoring how hot his face felt at the wayward situation Niner shook it off.

“Life is about dealing with discomfort.” Niner pointed out. “So why shift the obvious for me?”

“Tell me you’re not this oblivious.” Boss bluntly stated, ushering one deep sigh from Sev. “It was my idea you join us yes but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate the osik that bothers you being here with us.”

“I never said I was uncomfortable,” Niner started but to no end, Boss wasn’t done yet.

“You won't be brushed off that easily when you never have to be got it?” Boss firmly stated. "Clearly something in the system needs to reinstated if your vod'e doesn't appreciate your handiwork."  

“Awwh you don’t talk to me like that!” Scorch voice blurred through Niner’s eardrums, cutting the vague atmosphere Boss created. “Lucky guy.”

“Man shut up.” Boss huffed keeping his buy’ce locked onto Omega’s Sergeant. His quiet inhale deepen to catch his breath made Niner catch in response. This man had no right to throw him off his feet like so to play off. 

Now all of Delta's attention was on him with no signs of letting up. If one react the others will in tandem and Niner does not  want them to see him stumble again.

Scorch face might be hidden from him but he knows the subtle finger wave message signaled his way. He knows Scorch has opinions he can hear him so clearly like he did when they lurk around that mall. That felt like dissipated lifetimes ago, but it's only been four months. 

"Damn it I can feel his laughter, the bastard."

Niner made up his mind then and there.

“Go, I’ll stay here.” Niner laid his yield flag high, keeping his arms straight to avoid crossing his stomach from pre-lurking unease.

Ka’ra why did he catch feelings for this man enough to make his stomach ache.

He needs to punch this man. 

“Good plan.” Boss said voice stalling off just to turn briskly back around. The rest of his team with Niner watched him, turning in sync to stare at another. Outwardly it seems like a silent conversing of companions but small head turns and drops spoke volumes for another private conversation.  

“He’s so awkward and for what?” Scorch scoffed. “I don’t get the man sometimes-not even a sly don’t wait up too long?” imitating Boss scratchy voice.  “That’s all he needed to say and what does he do?”

“The opposite.” Sev snickered aggressively pulling a wavy okay hand signal. “Gotta love his bossiness through and through.”

“Well you heard Boss man, let’s go.” Scorch waved at the two walking to catch up with Boss. “Best not keep him waiting too long. We’ll be back soon Nines, just, hold it down won’t ya?” 

Seeing Sev follow behind their sullen bomb expert Fixer lastly turned to Niner exasperated.

“All it would’ve taken was one moment to see none of that was necessary.” He sighed clapping his shoulder once, firm enough with intentional weight smacking his shoulder. “Just stay around. Surprise yourself.” And then he too left, leaving Niner alone among strangers in their home.

“Just great.” Niner said to himself, feeling anxious tendrils scratch his foresight at the four leaving him there aside a wall plain enough to make him stand-out. He needs to grab his shadow self and give it a good shaking, absorb back his serious front.

He's been hanging around these Delta boys too much. And look where it's gotten him. 

“Nice one di’kut.”