Chapter Text
Finn had four children.
.
.
.
His son was born in the snow of Silesse.
“Look, he has your eyes,” said the woman he gave his heart to. Blonde hair. Blonde curly hair, brown eyes like a cow. Thinking back, he probably shouldn’t have said that aloud to her.
“I-It was meant to be a compliment!” Finn insisted as his lover laughed.
“I was kidding kid,” Brigid laughed, pushing back Faval’s head of hair. The baby frowned at her, as if he was glaring at the fact his hair was being played with. “See! He even has your frowning face!”
Finn will never admit his immediate reaction was a mirror Faval’s expression. “I-I do not! And I’m only a year younger than you!”
Suddenly, Brigid brushed a string of hair behind his ear. “You should smile more, silly. Come on, show me a smile?”
Finn looks at his lover, who is smiling, and then at his son, who is still frowning, and at the absurdity of it all, and smiles to, first time in a long while.
--
His son went missing with her in the fire of Belhalla.
--
The second wasn’t his son biologically, rather his ward, the young prince of Leonstar.
--
“Leif, Leif, stopping eating my hair,” Ethlyn hissed as she tried to hand her baby over to Finn is trying to stand as still as possible, as if the baby was a fierce predator and the knight were his prey. But it was a baby, who was drooling, and even Finn realized he was being ridiculous.
“Hold his head-Hold his head!” Ethlyn insists as he lets Leif rest in his arms.
“Ethlyn, he has a son too,” Quan calls from the corner where Altena is putting make-up on him. “I think he knows how to hold a baby.”
“Actually, Edain barred me from holding Faval for a while when I almost dropped him down the stairs of the castle.”
Ethlyn drops her tea, the cup and liquid inside falling onto her lap. She curses. “You drop my baby Finn I’ll make Quan execute you.”
“I can’t do that!” Quan calls as Altena applies eyeshadow.
“Daddy!” Altena hissed, not unlike her mother earlier. “NO. MOVING!”
“See?” Quan laughed as Altena fusses over him.
Ethlyn rubs her temples. “I still can’t believe you had a son before me. We should make our kids play together. Have a little play date. I set up my daughter with your son. Basic kid stuff.”
“Unfortunately, Faval is too young to travel-hold on! What was that last part?”
Quan laughs. “You can bring your wife along and I can get properly introduced. I barely talked with Briggid in Silesse, and then you two go and have a child together. You’re full of surprises, you know that, Finn?”
Finn looks away. “Brigid and I are not married…”
This creates a wave of silence. Until Altena suddenly said, “How come you got a ring in pocket?”
Everyone proceeds to laughs, and Finn laughs along, and everything is perfect for a single moment.
--
His liege’s parents died in Yled, murdered by their enemies, with their daughter, only four years old, leaving him to care for Leif Faris Claus.
--
The third was the daughter of two friends, a girl with blonde hair and crimson eyes.
--
“Her name is Anya, but we’re calling her Nanna for now,” Azelle explained to him one day, not too long after to two had arrived in Leonstar, wounds still fresh from battle. “My brother knows I have a son from my letters, but Anya was one of the names I put forward as a suggestion…so, you know…Precautions.”
The two are sharing a bottle of Silesse brandy, their wedding gift from Lewyn. Finn refused Tharcian whisky and Grannvale wine was out of the question. Lachesis is upstairs, tending to Nanna and Leif with his grandparents. Everyone is mourning.
“Do you have any idea if anyone survived?” Finn asked.
Azelle gave Finn a fierce glare, as if to say, “I don’t want to talk about it”. But Finn had to know.
“Did you see anyone else flee? Did you see anyone die?”
“Dierdre was there…”
Finn could barely make out his whisper. “What did you say?”
Azelle slams his glass onto the table. “DIERDRE WAS THERE. SHE WAS MARRIED TO MY BROTHER AND DIDN’T RECOGNIZE LORD SIGURD AT ALL. ARVIS FLAUNTED HER LIKE SOME TROPHY IN FRONT OF HIM AND THEN BURNED HIM ALIVE.” He clenched his face in despair. “I still remember the screams. My friends dying after being betrayed.” Azelle looks up to Finn. “Do you want to know the worst part? We all knew something was wrong. We just could figure out what it was until it was too late.”
Both took a swig of their glasses. Having finishes his, Azelle began to pour himself another one. “But if you’re curious…I didn’t see Brigid among the fallen.”
Finn choked on his alcohol. Shocked.
“I can’t know if she didn’t die after or was captured at some point…but it’s f***ing Brigid. If anyone survived, she did.”
And if she survived, then Faval had too as well. He had to go-!
“Lachesis and I will need to go soon. She wants to get Diarmund and I’m going to try to talk my brother down, or at least try to get those who are left pardoned.”
Finn’s eyes widened. “But what about Nanna? She’s too young to travel and she needs her parents.” Like Leif, who lost his before he could even remember them. Like Faval, who he had to find.
Azelle looked away from him, not meeting his gaze. “I can’t say about me, but Lachesis will be back in a month, hopefully with our son and some reinforcements for Leonstar. I have a favor to ask you in the meantime…”
--
And so, Finn gained a foster daughter to his foster son, who now also was orphaned when neither of her parents returned. They all fled Leonstar when Tharcia attacked.
--
Now, Finn knew he had another child. A daughter named Patricia.
He had never met her, however, and his only knowledge of her appearance was a colored picture on the back of the letter Brigid sent informing her of the child’s existence. Like Faval, she had blonde hair and the bluest of eyes. He didn’t know if she, and her other family, were alive. But if they were, where were they? How could he find them when he had other responsibilities. Like the two children who were eating the food he had given them. His stomach growled.
--
So, Finn had four children. Two that were missing, and two he cared for on the honor of their parents. He wasn’t bitter about it. He loved Leif. He loved Nanna. He loved Faval. He loved Patricia.
He loved Brigid.
He. Loved. Brigid.
And it took him 10+ years to truly realize it. And she could be dead with their babies for all he knew.
Maybe thinking these things weren’t a great idea when you had a scorching fever and two of your kids was leading the horse you rested on because you were too f***ing sick to do so. When they arrived at the village, Finn could only remember bits and pieces: Nanna urging the villagers they weren’t dangerous at their concern of new arrives (she really was Azelle’s kid), Leif’s cold anger at Tharcia and pulling his wooden sword out, undermining Nanna’s words almost immediately. Then, he fell off the horse.
It happens too quickly for anyone to react, but Finn does remember being caught.
“You’re something else, aren’t you boy?” The catcher, a woman with a deep, commanding voice. She then barks orders at the other villagers, and everyone scrambles about. “Come on, you’ll be fine,” she says grinning, “Show me a smile, won’t you?”
Finn suddenly regains a burst of energy at that statement and forces his eyes open. He can’t make out too much, but he sees blonde hair and doe like brown eyes, and he thought he saw her staring at him like a stranger and then he blacks out.