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“Hi, baby!”
Soonyoung greets Chan, his four, turning five year old son, with open arms as his little angel runs to him with the biggest smile on his face. He carries his son in his arms, introducing his boyfriend—the first one after his divorce five years ago, only a few months after he gave birth to Chan—to his only family and his source of strength.
He notices how the smile on his son’s face slowly turns into a frown. “Uncle Wonwoo? Uncle Wonwoo is Papa’s…?”
Soonyoung plants a kiss on Chan’s forehead, rubbing and tickling his tummy to get a good laugh from his son. “Papa’s friend.”
He turns to Wonwoo, smiling awkwardly at him. They did talk about this—that they would take things slow, that they would tell Chan everything about them when he's a little bit older than he is right now, when it’s easier for Chan to understand Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s relationship. While they both arrived at a conclusion to introduce Wonwoo as a friend, there’s still the bitter aftertaste whenever they need to lie about what they truly are.
“Hi, Channie. I’m your papa’s friend.” Chan hides his face on the crook of Soonyoung’s neck. “Your papa told me you’re a shy, little bean. That’s okay, Channie. Uncle Wonwoo understands. Let’s play together once you’re comfortable around me. Would that be alright with you?”
Chan hums as a response, not taking a glance at Wonwoo at all. For the rest of the day, Chan had his face buried on Soonyoung’s neck until he fell asleep from exhaustion.
“Don’t worry, love. He’ll come around.”
-
“Chan, my baby.” Soonyoung calls for his son who’s playing with his lego blocks. He’s at that age where he’s interested in building things. So when Wonwoo heard about Chan’s growing fascination with legos, he ran to the nearest toy store to buy a gift for Chan. “Do you like Uncle Wonwoo’s gift?”
Chan only hums, eyes never leaving the blocks he stacked on the floor. Soonyoung doesn’t know a thing about these toys, but he joins his son, sitting down on the floor to stack blocks of his own. “I’m thinking of inviting Uncle Wonwoo over for lunch. Does that sound good to you?”
“‘S all good, papa.” Chan lets go of the blocks he’s holding and it surprises Soonyoung when Chan stands up, pudgy little hands on either side of his face. “You can invite Uncle Wonwoo, Papa. But… does Papa think he likes legos too?”
Soonyoung smiles brightly at his son’s words. Sometimes, he’s left to wonder who’s the parent between the two of them. Most of the time, Chan knows the right words to say to comfort him, to assure him everything’s fine. “Just like you, baby. He loves them just as much as you do!”
The pink blush on Chan’s cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed. “Do you think Uncle will play with me even if I’m not yet good at it?”
He hugs his son, delighted at what he heard from him. This is a huge progress. “Of course, he will! Uncle’s just waiting for you to invite him to play. So when he arrives, make sure to tell him you’d like to play with him. Is that okay, Channie?”
“Papa, I think Uncle Wonwoo is a good person.”
“Yes. Yes, he is, baby.”
-
“Papa, is Uncle Wonwoo busy on the weekend?”
Soonyoung brings down the plate on his hands to face his son who’s laying on his tummy while scribbling doodles on his sketchbook in their living room. “Why’d you ask, baby?” This coming Saturday, if Soonyoung’s memory serves him right, is Family Day at Chan’s kindergarten. “Perhaps, do you—”
“If Uncle is not busy, please invite him, Papa.” Soonyoung almost bursts into tears. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. It took a while, but all his and Wonwoo’s hard work to get Chan to open up to them on his own has finally paid off. Soonyoung didn’t even need to ask, Chan came up to him, out of his own volition, to tell him to invite Wonwoo at the family event at school.
For sure, Wonwoo will be happy to spend the weekend with them.
-
“Baby, why don’t you blow your candle already?”
Chan stands on the chair, staring at the lighted candle of his birthday cake, refusing to blow his candle and make a wish. “I’m waiting for Uncle Wonwoo, papa. How long is it from Uncle’s place to ours?”
Soonyoung doesn’t press on the matter further and waits for Wonwoo to arrive. It still feels surreal to him how close the two have become over the course of a year. Chan is lovable so it was natural for Wonwoo, who likes kids despite his appearance (apparently, most kids think he’s a scary guy), to find him equally adorable. But it was rather surprising when Chan warmed up to Wonwoo in less than two months. Frankly speaking, Soonyoung thought it would take one year tops before those two got comfortable around each other.
Chan perks up when he hears a knock on their door. “Ah! Papa! Uncle Wonwoo’s here!”
Soonyoung tilts his head, wondering how Chan was so sure it was Wonwoo. “It could be Uncle Hao and Uncle Gyu, too, baby. Why are you so sure it’s your Uncle Wonwoo?” They invited Hao and Mingyu over, but the two said they’ll be late since they came from a night shift.
Chan chuckles at his question. “Papa, haven't you noticed it yet? Uncle Wonwoo is the only one who knocks like that.”
“Like what?”
“The beat, Papa! Listen to the beat!”
Wonwoo knocks one more time. Indeed, there is this beat Chan kept on telling him about. “Is it a secret code between the two of you, baby?”
Chan shakes his head. “No, but that’s a nice idea, Papa! Maybe I should ask uncle if he wants to make a secret code with me.”
Soonyoung rushes towards the door after the third knock. “Welcome home, Wonwoo.”
From a distance, they hear Chan shout his and Wonwoo’s name, asking them to come to him quicker. Wonwoo places his gift atop the table and greets Chan a happy birthday. “Sorry, buddy. I forgot about your gift so I had to go back to my house and pick it up. Happy birthday, bud!”
“Chan refused to blow the candle off without you.”
“Really, bud? That’s nice of you to wait for me.”
Chan smiles proudly at them, finally blowing off the candle after they both stand at either side of him.
-
“Papa, we should get Uncle Wonwoo a gift for his birthday!” Chan excitedly tells him, jumping up and down as they enter the department store one weekend. Wonwoo couldn’t join them since he’s out of the country for a business trip, and maybe, Chan thinks it’s the perfect opportunity to choose a gift for his beloved Uncle. “What does Uncle Wonwoo like anyway?”
Soonyoung lowers himself, facing an ecstatic Chan. “You know, baby…” Chan looks at him confusedly, head tilted to the side. “I think Uncle Wonwoo would love anything you will give to him.”
“Really, Papa?” Soonyoung hums a yes. He knows Wonwoo would like anything as long as it’s from Chan. That’s how fond he is of the little kid. Soonyoung remembers a conversation between him and Wonwoo, when Chan was asleep in his room. Out of nowhere, Wonwoo blurted out: “I’d love to have Chan as my own.”
Soonyoung brushed off Wonwoo’s statement at first. Of course, he tried to date before meeting Wonwoo and having him as his boyfriend. It’s just that most of those he dated only pretend to like Chan at first. Soonyoung knows Wonwoo is a good guy and he seems to genuinely like having Chan around their dates, but he can’t help but be careful and wary, especially if it concerns his son.
Wonwoo was persistent that night. Soonyoung was moved to tears when he heard Wonwoo say: “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Soonyoung. I love Chan not because I am in love with you. I don’t see Chan as a plus one. I see Chan as Chan. He’s a kid I’d like to share my surname with.”
“Papa, let’s make a scrapbook for Uncle Wonwoo! Let’s put many pictures! The three of us! You, me, and Uncle Wonwoo! Like a family!” Family. The word definitely struck a string in Soonyoung’s heart. Does Chan see the three of them as a family already?
“Then let’s write a letter at the end of the scrapbook. What do you think, baby? Something you’d like to say to Uncle Wonwoo. I can help you write them.”
Chan shakes his head while saying the word no repeatedly, declining his offer to help. “I’ll write it on my own, Papa! You’re only allowed to see it after Uncle Wonwoo reads it!”
Soonyoung laughs heartily at Chan’s statement. Though, he can’t help but to wonder what his baby Chan would like to say to Wonwoo. “Alright, alright. Let’s buy the materials, hmm?” But whatever is in his son’s mind and heart, he knows they’re nothing but lovable things. He’s grown fond of Wonwoo, too, like Wonwoo is to him. If Soonyoung is a stranger and he sees Wonwoo carrying Chan in his arms, the two of them giggling without a care in the world, he’d think they’re connected by blood—a biological father and son.
But even if the two were not connected by blood, Soonyoung knows they’re connected by heart. And that’s more than enough for him.
“Yes!”
-
After Wonwoo takes the first bite of his birthday cake, Chan goes towards the direction of his room, skipping giddily. Soonyoung thinks that whatever Chan wrote at the end page of the scrapbook is making him jump and skip in joy.
He comes out after a few seconds with the huge scrapbook, his tiny hands barely able to hold such a massive book filled with their memories over the past year. He stops in front of Wonwoo, handing the scrapbook. “Here, uncle. My gift.”
Wonwoo, who’s sitting down, looks up at Soonyoung. “I’ll give mine later.” Soonyoung tells him, rubbing his back with a comforting touch. “Open it.”
Soonyoung sees the happy glint in Wonwoo’s eyes, shining. Wonwoo looks at each of the pictures with a smile plastered on his face while his son marvels every time Wonwoo turns the pages, as if growing impatient.
“Uh,” Soonyoung sees Chan hesitating, fidgeting on his spot. “Uncle, can you look at the pictures later?” Wonwoo looks at him, his facial expression tells how confused he is by Chan’s simple request. Still, he answers him with a “sure. i’ll do that, bud” which gets Chan even more joyful. “Papa! Don’t look! And uncle, please don’t read them out loud! Just tell me your answer after, okay? Okay?”
“Okay, buddy.” That was Wonwoo’s last response before he lets go of the scrapbook, tears rolling down his cheeks and lifts Chan up, sitting him down on his lap. “Yes, buddy! You didn’t have to ask! I’d be so happy!”
“Why are you crying, Dada? Aren’t you happy?”
Dada? Soonyoung grabs a hold of the scrapbook and turns it to the last page. On it, Chan wrote: “Can u b my Dada? Please say YES.”
It is when Soonyoung sees Chan wiping Wonwoo’s tears with his tiny fingers that he ends up crying too. “I’m happy, baby. Dada’s very happy to have a son like you.” Soonyoung envelopes his little family in a tight hug, Chan fakes a choke.
“Chan, baby. You wanted Uncle Wonwoo to be your dad?” Soonyoung lets go of them and waits for Chan to speak up. There must be a reason why Chan wanted Wonwoo to be his Dada.
“I love Dada. Dada loves Papa. Papa loves Dada.” It’s a very simple explanation. Soonyoung understands what Chan is trying to say. “I remember Papa said, Chan and Papa are family because we love each other. Then Dada can be our family too, right?”
“But, Chan.”
“Chan understands. Chan does. Dada is not just Papa’s friend. Is Chan wrong?”
“How did you know, baby?” Wonwoo asks before he could. By any chance, did Chan see the two of them kissing? That can’t be. They were careful—is what Soonyoung thinks.
“Dada’s heartbeat! Remember when Papa was cooking? Dada carried me while we watched Papa cook breakfast. I put my head on Dada’s chest and felt his heartbeat go: Dug-dug! Dug-dug! Dug-dug! Like a drum!” It’s cute seeing Chan explain with his body, the way he imagined Wonwoo’s heart beating like a drum. “Chan’s heart does not sound like that when I’m talking to my best friend, Nonie! Chan’s heart goes dug-dug only when I’m talking to my crush, Kwanie!”
Soonyoung chuckles and it makes Wonwoo giggle too. “Is that so, baby?”
“Hm!”
-
Chan falls asleep soundly after getting energetic a while ago.
“Here, this is my gift.” Soonyoung presents Wonwoo a copy of their apartment’s key. “It’s yours. Move in with us, Wonwoo. Oh, God,” Soonyoung ends up crying again. “I can’t believe Chan beat me to it. I was going to explain to Chan about us after I gave my gift to you, but… he’s a smart little kid. Isn’t he?”
Wonwoo kisses his forehead. “Our smart little baby, Soonyoung.”
“Welcome to our little family.”
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