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Lila did not bother herself with the opinion of the public. She had only concerned herself with what others thought about her when she was the star of every wanted poster back in Grey London, and that had been based solely on survival.
Since her move to Red London, her descent into the depths of Antari magic and her blossoming relationship with Kell, Lila found that she was the center of public speculation more than she liked. Normally she operated in shadows, slipping around the room where nobody would notice her. Their pockets would be empty before they even realized she’d been there at all.
That was the way that Lila liked it.
However, since she had helped defeat one of the most prominent evil forces in all four London’s and asserted herself into the lives of the Royal Family, her anonymity had been compromised.
It wasn’t as if she was now a beacon for attention around town or even in the palace, but they watched her, nodded at her, flanked her from a distance, as she was sure Kell had told them to for their own benefit. Shop owners recognized her, offered her an extra trinket or treat in hopes of earning favor with the crown. Lila always refused, if they wanted to impress King Rhy giving Lila a second cookie wasn’t going to influence anything.
She had wanted to disappear in the middle of the night the first time that somebody at the Night Market had stopped her and asked if she was engaged to Master Kell. She always teased him about the nickname because she loved the way his brow would crease, and his lips would curl downward, but she did not like the way it sounded from the woman's mouth. Especially when it was attached to her. Lila barely knew what her relationship to Kell was, it certainly wasn’t engagement.
The sea called her name, Kell knew it, but she wanted him to come with her. No matter how often her feet ached to run, let London fade into the darkness behind her, she couldn’t allow herself to leave him. There was no escaping her growing fondness for the red haired boy with the chip on his shoulder, so Lila waited.
He wanted to make sure Rhy was settled in fine, especially now that Alucard would be retiring from the Night Spire to step in as Rhy’s personal guard. Lila would be the new Captain, Rhy had promised that much, and Kell would join her. Until that was made reality, they remained at the castle to allow for the city to comfortably settle through a rough transition.
Unfortunately, that meant that Lila spent most of her free time either drunk, bored, roaming the streets or practicing her magic. When Kell or Alucard were too busy to entertain her, Lila was forced to entertain herself, not that she wasn’t used to it, but over the past few weeks she had allowed herself to be alright at the prospect of enjoying being with other people. She was pretty sure Kell had something to do with that, but no matter how many ways she tugged at her heart she couldn’t shake him.
Thankfully, Lila was able to slip into the shadows most days and avoid any hard hitting questions from the people on the street clawing for gossip, the shop owners with their greedy smiles and the dedicated followers of the crown who roamed the castle like they owned the place.
Unfortunately, sometimes there were some tasks she had to do that she knew would serve to only further the gossip and speculation becoming attached to her name. One of those annoying things was attending the balls that Rhy seemed to be so fond of hosting.
She didn’t understand the city's obsession with balls but they seemed to have a lot of them, and everyone seemed to want an invitation.
Her being there wasn’t integral at all, far from it, nobody really knew her besides the people that needed to. Otherwise she was a whisper, a fairytale, a ghost roaming the back alleys. Lila was an Antari, her magic was dangerously coveted and she wasn’t in the business of letting other people willingly attempt to kill her, so she kept her identity close to her chest when she could. The spectacle of a ball, being seen with the royal family, would only cause commotion.
At first Lila hadn’t attended the gatherings despite the very nice red invitation that Rhy had sent to Kell’s chambers for her. Lila had folded it in half and placed it in the pocket of her coat, she wasn’t sentimental but she didn’t have a lot of possessions that actually said her name on them, she couldn’t bring herself to throw it away.
Regardless of how her heart felt about the personalized invite, Lila had no desire to attend the party. She watched Kell get himself dressed in a pristine black coat that he had never seen before that morning, gold and silver stars etched into the trimming, and told him that it looked good on him from the comfort of his sofa. She didn’t dislike gatherings, but her idea of fun, pick pocketing and fiddling with knives, was not usually accepted by the royal court. So Lila lied and said she didn’t have anything to wear, suit or dress. Kell had seemed a little disappointed so she told him she’d try again next time hoping there would be no next time.
She had been wrong.
Lila ran out of excuses around the third ball when Kell came back looking flushed from alcohol, with a dopey smile and wandering hands. He disturbed her sleep as he pulled her against him to cuddle, his face nuzzling into the crook of her neck with comfortable ease.
Lila wished she hated the sensation of his body taking up so much space beside her but she didn’t. Ever since she’d agreed to wait for him to be ready to travel, she had to become accustomed to what that meant. They never defined their feelings, she didn’t think she had to given all they had been through, but she essentially lived in his room. No, not essentially, she did live there. At first she had attempted to sleep on the sofa, trying to offer him the room he was accustomed to on his bed.
What are you doing? He’d been so puzzled, and hurt when he saw her splayed out on the lush cushions, her gut dropped a little knowing she was the reason why.
Trying to sleep.
All by yourself?
Lila would only admit to herself that the downturned expression on his face, the normal frown now becoming a pout, filled her with a flutter. He looked cute and so she decided to do away with the couch and climbed in bed beside him. Sharing a sleeping quarters with him in the palace was much preferred to their small room on the Ghost.
Unfortunately those circumstances were what led to a drunken Kell snuggling up to her after a ball and telling her that a woman had tried to follow him back to his room.
Who?
She hated that she sounded so jealous, hated that her fingers sang for the handle of her knife, hated that he grinned like it was funny. Being jealous was one small omission away from true feelings and Lila still didn’t know how to handle those.
I don’t know her name, she wouldn’t leave me alone all night. He lifted his head just enough to catch the way she bit her cheeks, lips pursed. Are you jealous, Lila?
No, go to sleep, you're drunk.
Despite her lie, he had been right and Lila decided that the next time Rhy hosted one of his stupid balls she would be there. Even if all she did was hide on the sidelines, watching the guests from afar, she could keep an eye on everything. It would make the growling demon in her stomach silent for the night at least.
So now, Lila was fitting herself into a gown that she had picked out specifically for the evening, a black corset with golden edges, silk fabric down to the floor. If it had any resemblance to Kell’s jacket the night of the first ball that was somebody else's conclusion to draw. Lila so rarely wore dresses that she startled herself in the mirror whenever she looked.
The dress had nothing on Calla’s skills but Calla was gone, so Lila had to make due with a new seamstress in town.
Tonight she would finally put a face to the name so many Londoners loved to talk about in hushed tones. Delila Bard, Antari, friend of the crown. If Lila cared what other people thought about her then she might have found it inside of herself to be worried, but standing at the door of Kells’ chamber, she was only concerned about what he would say when he saw her.
When had she become such a sap?
He was waiting on the other side, his head perked up as soon as he heard the door swing open. “Lila-” his voice caught as he took her in, eyes roaming up and down which felt more intimate than anything they’d ever done in bed together, “you look beautiful.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she waved him off, because she didn’t hate the attention but she hated anybody knowing that she liked it. Lila’s heart and mind were at constant war with each other.
He didn’t offer her his arm, instead he pointed towards the stairwell for her to go ahead of him, “lead the way.” That’s why she had begun to fall for him, he knew her. Knew she wouldn’t particularly care for the escort of a man.
“Can we not walk in together?” She asked as they made their way to the Gold Hall. Lila hoped he would understand that associating with him at a gathering and entering the event at his side were very different messages.
Kell, of course, inclined his head, “sure, as long as you save me a dance.”
She smirked, “if you can find me.”
They were stopped outside the doors, Kell accepted her challenge with a chaste kiss to her lips and then disappeared behind the ornate double doors.
Lila took in a large breath, counting the amount of guards outside the room. Five. It didn’t seem efficient enough for the amount of people gathering in the Gold Hall but Lila wasn’t in charge of security, no matter how many times she asked Rhy to let her help.
Finally, she slipped inside.
Nobody really noticed her, a dark haired common girl in a simple dress wasn’t going to garner a lot of attention. Thankfully, any of the merchants or royal followers who knew her by name and face didn’t seem to care about her presence. Lila easily slipped into the shadows against the wall, placing herself in a perfect position so she could count the number of guards in the room.
It was during her counting she got to see most of the people she recognized. Rhy, laughing with his head tilted back as Alucard twirled him around. He was the King, but he was also the once famous Prince of Parties. Granted, Lila was the only one who called him that but she stood by it. He had a certain personality to maintain, so he hosted parties and danced and drank and was one with his people when he could be.
Kell was near them with his eyes scanning the crowd, looking for her, drink in one hand. His coat was long, high collared and golden. She’d only seen him wear it once before but he’s informed her that he liked how easily he could get his hands in and out of the pockets. Just in case. He still looked grumpy, but she knew he wasn’t. Her heart picked up speed at the sight of him, wanting to cross the floor to get to him immediately, holding his hand as they slowly swayed to the music. Her desires were romantic, disgusting, terrible dreams but she couldn’t deny how much she longed for them.
As she studied him she noticed a woman approaching, she looked younger than him, dark blond hair falling loosely around her head. She was short, with a round cherub face and button nose. Lila was made of sharp edges and pointed joints, she was pretty sure if she stood too close to the girl she would accidentally pop her.
The girl giggled, said something to Kell and then reached out to pet his arm. Was this the woman that had followed him around all night at the last ball? The entire reason Lila had stopped avoiding the stupid thing in the first place?
Yet, she was anchored in place, transfixed as she watched Kell brush her hand away and attempt to politely steer the conversation away from a flirtatious place. The demon inside of her quelled its anger for the time being. It was hard to digest at times that Kell was so popular with the women and men of this city yet he had chosen her.
Lila, who danced the line between genders, who slept with knives between her knees, who drank many good pirates under the table and would rather fight her way out of a situation than talk about it.
She was reminded of the oddity when a nearby group of women caught her attention. Or rather, their conversation did.
A brunette girl in a pale green dress was watching Kell and the round-faced woman speaking, “I told her she wasn’t going to get lucky with that, the black eyed Prince is apparently seeing someone.”
Her friend, a deeply tanned woman in a dark blue dress, raised her eyebrow with intrigue, “I’d heard rumors but I couldn’t believe them. I heard she dresses like a boy. Maybe she’s not even a girl.”
Brunette laughed, “both Prince’s snatched up by the men? That’s unfair.”
“Well I heard if you catch them drunk at a pub they’re pretty easy to seduce,” the girl in the blue dress took a sip of her champagne, her sneer suggesting she’d said something intelligent, “so maybe this so-called girlfriend took advantage of him.”
The brunette hummed, “Mother thinks he’ll drop her within the month, then he’s back on the market.”
“You’re way too desperate.”
“Oh please, as if you wouldn’t do that if given the chance?”
Their giggling was insufferable and Lila could no longer bring herself to listen to their vapid conversation. It brought images of Kell’s hands on people other than her and then it brought on visions of murder.
Lila had two knives on her, much less than she was comfortable with, but she had promised Kell she would tone it down for the evening. The fact that she would even consider and then agree to such a compromise for him spoke volumes to contradict what those women blabbering on about.
She steadied her pulse, trying to stop her anger from boiling over.
Finally, she was ready to shed her worry about the attention being at Kell’s side would cause. Because, for the foreseeable future, land or sea, she would be at his side. This was the life Lila had chosen, she had allowed herself to fall for a prince and now she had to pay the piper.
Kell, she decided as her feet began to move, was worth the price.
Stepping out of her hiding spot, she startled the two women. Their champagne sloshed around their glasses, dripping onto their perfectly gloved hands. Lila resisted the urge to start dishing out punches, but it was hard when they looked at her as if she had done something wrong. As if she had been the one sharing false rumors and speculations.
If she couldn’t throw knives she’d have to stoop lower than that, “excuse me.” She smiled with malice caught in her teeth, then she turned back to the party. To the Prince searching for her on the other side of the room.
Of course he saw her approaching, his attention completely shifted from the blond on his left and only to her. His face no longer pinched, angry, it was open and dare she say, happy?
Lila stopped in front of him, “long time no see.”
Kell, remembering his duty to the crown, bid the girl a goodbye as he stepped into Lila’s personal space, “may I have that dance now?”
She took his open faced hand, “you may.”
The best part about waltzing around the room with Kell was that every time her gaze shifted away from him and into the crowd she got to see the reactions of the spectators. She had imagined she’d hate it, the hundreds of eyes following them around the room, but something inside of her relished in it.
The reactions ranged from confusion, to excitement, shock and the one she loved to see the most: jealousy.
Lila wasn’t morally superior to anybody so she wasn’t going to pretend that it didn’t absolutely thrill her to watch the horrified faces of the girls she’d heard before when they came face to face with their competition. The competition who had already won long before they knew she was a player.
“What are you thinking about?” His voice was quiet and soft, the kind of tone that only she got to hear.
Lila smiled, “everyone in this room wishes they were me right now.”
Kell’s frown was almost second nature to him, slipping it on in seconds, “that’s not true.”
She shrugged, they spun past a couple whose feet were still in order to stare at them, “maybe not everyone then. Definitely most of the women.”
He shook his head, it amazed her how little he thought of himself at times. Kell attributed most of his popularity with the female population to his association with the royal family, and she was sure that the power hungry suitors existed, but in Lila’s opinion it’s because he was attractive. She hadn’t ordered his Black London magic body double to undress upon their first meeting for no reason.
“Kiss me?” she asked, appreciating every single line on his face, every faint freckle. Every small scar the rest of the world couldn’t see, they couldn’t get close enough, not like she could.
He squinted suspiciously, “why?”
“Truthfully? I want to make a certain group of girls jealous.” She could still see them leaning against the wall, reunited with the blond woman who had attempted to make a move, ogling Kell and Lila with a certain type of fury Lila longed to flame.
Kell sighed, “I don’t know if I want to be your accomplice.”
“I’ll steal it then, I’m a thief after all,” she teased him, “the best thief.”
His lips were on hers within the next second, it wasn’t quick but it didn’t linger longer than it had to. They had shared kisses before that had devoured them both, that bruised their lips and left them breathless. This was gentle, delicate, full of promise and familiarity. It was the perfect kiss for the occasion.
He pulled away looking smug, “was that good?”
Pulling herself out of the daze he had left her in, ashamed to admit that it had occurred in the first place, Lila locked eyes with the brunette girl. Her face was turning crimson and her hand clutched her glass so hard it threatened to shatter, “it was perfect.”
Delila Bard was a lot of things: thief, pirate, Antari, runaway. No matter what they had called her she had always known who she was inside. Being with Kell had challenged the hardened exterior she had so carefully preserved. Being a woman in their society wasn’t something she’d always found herself comfortable with given her desperation to survive, so she easily found herself slipping into the persona of a man and she had enjoyed it. It kept her alive, and it felt, at times, more natural to her. She never cared what people thought she was, she knew who she was and then she’d let Kell know who she was.
Now, she thought, perhaps she could add another title to her growing list: the woman at Kell’s side. It wasn’t a label, not really, but it was somewhere she was comfortable standing.
“By the way,” she told him as they finished their dance and proceeded to join Rhy and Alucard near the front of the room, “some people think you’re involved with a man.”
Kell chuckled, “sometimes I think I am. Aren’t I?”
“Does that bother you?”
“No. Should it?”
Lila didn’t answer him verbally, choosing instead to press her hand against his cheek. Not because she wanted the crowd to gawk, but because she appreciated him and found that despite the emotional intimacy that grew between them, Lila didn’t want to run anywhere but to him.
“Lovely to see you resembling a normal person Bard,” Alucard teased from his perch at Rhy’s shoulder. She gave him an unladylike gesture that made him laugh from his chest. She caught Kell’s approving smile from her peripheral vision.
“You look lovely Lila,” Rhy flashed his signature royal grin, planting a delicate kiss onto the back of her hand for show. It always amazed her how different Rhy and Kell had grown up to be, how closely they had lived yet how far their paths diverged.
“Thank you your majesty,” she made a show of bowing low at him, watching him roll his eyes as she came back up. It was their game, seeing who could be more ridiculous than the other. Kelly hated it, but he never stopped them. Perhaps Kell was a liar.
The four of them remained in a small circle chatting for a while, joking around as though it had been ages since they’d last spoken, when in fact, they had all seen each other at the breakfast table that morning. Their small reconvening was interrupted moments later as Rhy was whisked away to greet a new visitor, Alucard followed along.
Kell and Lila remained where they were, standing together watching the crowd, his fingers running up and down the length of her spine where the rest of the people couldn’t see. It made the skin on her arm prickle, Lila bit back her body’s initial protest because she knew if she asked him to stop he wound, but deep down she really didn’t want him to.
“I think I’m ready,” he told her, his hand pausing to rest on the small of her back.
“Huh?” She hadn’t really been paying attention to anything but his touch for several minutes. That was a problem, Lila hated losing focus in a sea of strangers.
Kell’s face was so close when he turned to her, she blinked to readjust her vision, “I think I’m ready to leave. Rhy will be fine without me. I want to see the world,” a rare smile invaded his face, “with you.”
This time when Lila kissed him it wasn’t because she wanted envy, it was because she wanted him. Genuine, wonderful, life-altering, terrifying him.