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Billy takes in a shaking breath as he listens to the phone ringing in his ear.
"Teddy Price."
"Teddy." He says with a breath of relief.
"Billy, how are you doing son?"
"It's rehab." He states dryly but the emotions storming his whole body are hard to hide.
Detoxing is a bitch. He's sweating and shaking and nauseous and his whole body aches.
And he misses Daisy.
God does he miss her.
Teddy’s being quiet, waiting him out.
He bows his head, thunking it lightly on the dull grey wall in front of him and closes his eyes.
"Is she okay?" He asks softly.
He hears Teddy sigh.
"She's okay, she's in rehab."
"She is?" His voice cracks.
"She's going to be alright Billy." Teddy replies in a reassuring voice.
And all Billy can do is sob in relief as Teddy listens to him break.
Billy’s been out of rehab and home for three days when Teddy comes by to check on him.
They're sitting on his porch and drinking coffee. Camila's taken Julia out to get her hair cut.
"So how have you been keeping busy?" Teddy asks with a curious eye.
Billy huffs a laugh before taking a sip of his coffee.
"I've given knitting a try."
Teddy raises a brow in surprise.
"Yeah I know, Camila got me on to it." he mumbles. "It's a real bitch, I'll tell you that."
Teddy takes a drag of his cigarette "I've heard it helps with dexterity."
Billy blinks in surprise "Really?"
Teddy nods, not a man of many words.
"How about you? What have you been up to?" Billy asks
"As usual, the labels assigned me a few new bands."
"Are they any good?" He asks with a grin.
"Yeah they're alright." He replies with his usual casual air.
Billy knows he won't say anything else, he also knows if they were really good, they would be having a different conversation.
"You've been feeling okay?" Billy asks.
Teddy raises a brow and returns the question. "How have you been feeling?"
"Yeah okay, fair enough." He concedes with a tilt of his head.
The conversation lulls for a moment and they sit in a comfortable silence.
Billy's mind starts focusing on the question he's put off asking.
His shoulders tighten, his fingers tapping against his mug as he bites the inside of his cheek.
He looks at Teddy, his mouth opens and nothing comes out.
What if she's not okay? What if she relapsed? What if...
Every possible answer runs through his mind.
He doesn't know if he wants to know, if he doesn't ask he can forever picture her happy and healthy and safe.
But he can't spend his life not knowing anything about her.
Teddy can obviously see where his mind went.
He takes an inhale of his smoke "She's moved to New York, she's staying with Simone."
Oh.
He nods rapidly.
"That's good, that's good."
Simone will take care of her.
It's a year before he learns anything else.
And in that time he starts selling his songs.
It bites at him sometimes when he hears one of his songs on the radio being sung by some else.
He wars with his pride and the ability to provide for his family.
But it's better than working three jobs to put a roof over his family's head. Barely getting by and working himself to the bone like his mother did.
He doesn't want that childhood for his daughter.
So he sells his songs, even if it feels like selling his soul.
When Teddy comes by for dinner, they eat their weight in Camila's lasagna and Teddy gamely listens to Julia telling him about her day at the beach and all the shells she found. After, Billy walks him back to his car.
Billy halts when Teddy pulls out a cigarette and leans against his car.
"Daisy called me."
He blinks in surprise before worry floods his veins. "What? Is she okay?"
"She wrote an album." There's a proud grin tugging at his lips.
"Oh." It's a strangled sound.
"She's moving back to L.A to record it." He's watching him carefully.
"Right." He nods. That makes sense. His heart is pounding.
"It's good, really good." Like he can't help but say it.
"Of course it is, it's Daisy." It's instant. He doesn't doubt it for a second.
"It's Daisy." Teddy nods in agreement.
Guess that's universal.
Two weeks later and Warren drops by.
Billy’s casually playing his guitar on his porch when Camila's voice calls out.
"Look who came by." Her voice is warm and happy.
Billy's eyes snap open and dart to Warren standing just behind his wife.
"Hey man, how's it going?" He waves with grin and makes his forward, past Camila and to the chair in front of Billy, he shakes his hand and pats his shoulder before leaning back in his chair.
"Warren, Hey, I'm good, you? What brings you out here?" Billy replies with a pleased smile.
"I... ah..." Warren hesitates looking between Billy and his wife.
That makes Billy worried and curious. Warren had a calm soul. He wasn't one to hesitate.
There was one thing he would hesitate about around Billy and Camila.
Daisy.
He swallows tightly and Camila eyes them both with a keen gaze.
"I'll go check on Julia."
Warren ducks his head into his hands and rubs his face.
"Jesus man, I'm sorry."
"Dont worry about it, just tell me what's going on."
Warren takes a breath "look ever since the band broke up I've been working as a session drummer."
Billy blinks "I know."
Warren nods "Right." He lets out a self-deprecating laugh. "Teddy hooked me up with a tight gig. It's a good album. A great album-"
"Cut the shit Warren."
"It's Daisy."
"Yeah, it's Daisy." Billy replies with a knowing grin.
"Man I'm not here to get your blessing or whatever. I love Daisy too, she's my girl and I'm not choosing sides." He shakes his head. "Billy, I'm giving you a heads up."
Billy considered he could cut her out of his life but they were still intertwined with the people they knew.
He hoped they always would be.
"I think she's going to ask me to go on tour with her when the album drops." Billy can tell hell he'll say yes.
"What about Lisa?"
"She's got a movie coming up, she'll be as busy as me. We've talked about it. Long distance and taking turns visiting. We'll make it work." His voice is sure and steady.
"You'll take care of her?" Billy presses.
"Yeah man, you know I will." It's the most serious he's seen him and Billy believes him. "She's doing great, you know. Been sober for a year. She's like a bigger, brighter, stronger version of herself."
Oh, and doesn't that just make Billy crave to see her.
To know this new, sober version of her. But that would mean ruining his life, his marriage.
That would mean loving her more than he already did.
It doesn't feel possible.
They talk for a while more about this and that before Warren has to head home.
They've said their goodbyes and he's walking off the porch when Billy sees his steps stutter before he halts.
He mumbles "Shit." to himself and then he spins around to face Billy.
"She wrote a song for you."
Billy bites his lip and looks away, digging his nails into his palms.
"It's... It’s beautiful man. And haunting. It's going to hurt." He trails off, weighing his next words "She said.... that it was the last song she'd ever write for you."
For you. For you. For you.
The words twist themselves inside his brain and hibernate there.
It already hurts.
Billy avoids the radio, and TV’s. Anything that could play her song.
He stays at home and hopes to wait out most of the hype.
He doesn't want to hear the last thing she'll ever write for him. He doesn't want there to be a last.
But that doesn't stop him from hearing about how much everyone loves her album. It's called 'Shades of love.' And although they're all great hits, there is one specifically that everyone is losing their shit over.
It's called 'Endless love.'
Billy’s willing to bet that's the one he's avoiding.
Rolling stone has her on its cover and she goes on talk shows and does press conferences and it's all anyone will talk about.
Unless they live in his house.
Then it's off limits.
Camila and Billy don't talk about it. They don't talk about not talking about it. It's an unspoken agreement.
It's Sunday and they're out of milk.
Camila's working from home and she's too busy to go out and he can't tell his wife he doesn't want to go because the woman he loves wrote the last song she'll ever write for him and he can't bear to hear it.
So he goes.
And of course 'Endless love' plays.
It starts when he's walking through the aisle where the milk is.
His steps stutter and stop.
He aggressively mumbles "Son of a bitch" to himself before he starts speed walking to the milk, trying to ignore the song but then he reaches the milk and he just stares at it.
It is beautiful.
It is haunting.
And it hurts like she stabbed him in the heart with a dull knife and twisted it.
It's also the most precious thing she's ever given him.
‘My darling, when you're scared look to our northern star and know I'm out there loving you endlessly from afar.'
'My darling when you miss me go to sleep and dream of me, I’ll meet you there, my darling I’ll see you in your dreams.'
'My darling when you've lost your mind, don't forget I know your soul, you're a perfectly imperfect man my darling you know the way.'
'My darling I’ll hold you in my heart and keep you close. My darling, I'll hold you in mind and never forget. My darling, My darling, My darling.'
He leaves without the milk and spends the next twenty minutes breaking down in his car. His hands are bruised from smacking his steering wheel and his face is soaked in tears, he’s so overwhelmed he can’t think straight.
Then he speeds out of the car park and finds the closest record shop.
He opens the door and walks up to the cash register, the woman behind it looks at him blankly and he knows she knows who he is.
“Do you have Daisy Jones’s new album?” He asks in a gruff voice.
“Your Bil-“ she stated with awe but he cut her off.
“Do you have it?” he presses.
“Y-yes, yes we have it.” She rushed around the table top and over to the front of the store before coming back and handing It to him.
The cover was of her in a swimming pool floating in the water, her wild red hair spread around her, a mysterious smile tugging at her lips and only autumn leaves covering her tits and pussy.
He feels rage spreading through his body.
He turns around and smacks it down on the edge of the table top next to him as hard as he can. And then he does it again. And again.
“Fuck…Fuck…Fuck!” He screams.
He hears every crack and brake of the album and satisfaction swims through his veins even as the woman next to him gasps in alarm.
When he's done, the record in pieces , a wave of longing fills him.
He needed to hear that song again, he needed to hear every song in her album.
“I need another one.” Billy said as he turned to the shopkeeper.
“What? No! Look at what you-“ she said horrified.
“I won't break this one.” He vowed.
She must have heard the sincerity in his voice because she looked at him sternly for a moment before she spun around and got him another one.
He paid for both albums and she made him clean up the mess he made when he broke the first but then he was on his way back to his car with Daisy Jones’s record under his arm.
His chest was still rolling with emotions.
Gratefulness, a deep sadness and anger covering it all.
He missed her.
He goes back to the supermarket and picks up the milk he left behind and then he drives home to his beautiful wife and daughter.
He puts on a smile and pretends like Daisy Jones didn't just rip open a half mended wound and waits for the time of night when everyone is sound asleep before he sneaks out of bed, careful to not wake his wife.
He takes out ‘Shades of love’ from the hallway closet where he stored it when he got home, trying to smother any guilt he feels at the subterfuge.
He heads to the lounge where their record player is, makes sure the sound is on low and then slips the record out of its sheath, setting it in its place on the record player.
The first song starts playing and he takes a set leaning back on his couch, closing his stinging eyes as tears roll down his cheeks.
If he had opened his eyes and turned he would have scene his wife sitting on the stairs watching him grieve another women.
And then life kept going.
Every now and then he'll hear something new about the women he once knew.
Daisy Jones.
The goddess with fiery red hair and bare feet with a voice that could make a grown man weep.
Over the years his feelings dulled a little, faded with time and distance but never truly gone.
He'd see her and her flirty grin in magazines at the supermarket, hear her voice on the radio, overhear his colleagues talking about her like she was something mythic.
The first time he heard of her dating again was a few months after her tour.
Her picture was on the front page of a trashy magazine, she had her legs and arms wrapped around a built surfer with floppy blond hair wearing a cheeky grin. He'd just won some award or race or whatever.
She looked happy. Blinding happy.
Carefree.
He had contradicting feelings rolling through him.
A surge of relief at seeing her so okay, so happy.
And Jealousy.
Like he could rip those stupid surfers arms right out of their sockets.
It was a feeling he was going to have to get used to.
Her career blew up after her first solo album was released.
After that it was a cycle of albums and tours. Interviews on TV and in magazines, her name up in lights.
Everyone loved her, she was the next big thing.
He was so proud of her.
She turned her life into everything he knew she wanted and everything he knew she was capable of.
He found out from Lisa that she was dating a race car driver.
Since it wasn't thrown in his face with a picture of her wrapped around him he could admit.... that was fucking cool.
There was a time when he was eight that he wanted to be a race car driver. It only lasted three weeks but still.
Then it was a fancy pants lawyer.
He didn't really get that one but apparently Lisa and Camila said he was a hunk or whatever.
He had a feeling it wouldn't last. She wouldn't be happy with a suit.
Maybe he couldn't handle the idea of it lasting.
Of her being married, again, but for real this time. Not because she was fucked up over him but purely because she found someone she loved and wanted to spend her life with.
Someone she loved like she had loved him.
The very thought was agony.
Double so because he knew it would happen.
One day he'd have to live his worst nightmare.
Four years after he last spoke to her she was nominated for a Grammy.
Camila organized a party the night of with all their friends.
Everyone was thrumming with anticipation.
None more than her biggest fan.
His daughter. Julia.
She was zipping around practically doing cartwheels and squealing in excitement.
It made him grin.
When it was time everyone gathered around the TV, quietly listening and waiting for what everyone knew would happen.
Her name was called.
There was a sudden explosion of noise but Billy just sat there a quite smile on his face, his eyes fascinated at the sight of Daisy in a sparkly aqua marine dress that clung to her every curve.
That wasn't what his attention was stuck on though.
No, it was the bright happy smile on her face.
She stood up, her date for the night, some famous so and so hugging her tight in congratulations.
Teddy was next to her, and she laid her hand on his shoulder which Teddy covered with his own as he said something to her that made her brush a tear away delicately.
She made her way on stage, gave a friendly hug to the host and took hold of the weighty glass award before she turned to the audience.
"It's an honour to receive this award, thank you so much." She let out a breathless chuckle of disbelief. "And thank you to every person who helped me get here. Everything I experienced up until this moment led me here. I especially want to thank my long time friend and music producer Teddy Pierce. For having faith in me even when I didn't. For pushing me when I didn't think I had anything left to give. For fighting for me when I didn't know how too. Thank you Teddy. Too my best friend, Simone, thank you for never giving up on me, I wouldn’t be here without you." She grinned "...and lastly, because I know I'm short on time." There was a spattering of laughs. "To all the little girls out there who dream of being up just like I did when I was younger. It is possible." She was fierce.
A year later he got a phone call that sunk him into a deep depression.
Teddy was dead.
The person who taught him what it meant to be a man.
The closest thing he had to a father was dead.
His girlfriend Gloria called at two in the afternoon on a Tuesday.
He had another heart attack.
And this time he wasn't going to get back up again.
Camila came home and found him just sitting on the floor of the kitchen with an empty gaze.
She rushed to his side "Billy, baby? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Her eyes roamed over his form in concern.
She put her hands on either side of his face and lifted his gaze to her own.
When their eyes met he seemed snap out of it his eyes going from dull to panicked as his hands clasped her forearms.
"Billy tell me what's going on." She said firmly.
"He's dead, he's dead."
She sucked in a sharp breath as her pulse raced.
"Who is Billy? Whose dead?" She demanded.
Billy let out a ragged sob. "Teddy." He moaned. "Teddy's dead. He's dead Cami."
Camila gathered him in her arms and rocked him back and forth.
Fuck.
The funeral was set for a Saturday and through a third party (Camila and Lisa) it was decided that Billy got the funeral and Daisy got the wake.
Billy went with Cami and Graham and Daisy went with Warren, Lisa and Karen.
He heard that Daisy and Karen had reconnected over the years but he didn't know much about it, only a few off-handed comments from his wife.
The funeral was intense and saturated in grief.
He gave the eulogy.
He couldn't make it through without shedding a few tears. Teddy had earned them.
He watched them bury him and spread dirt on his coffin.
His lovely wife and devoted brother stayed close to his side and it was the only thing keeping him upright.
But right now, more than any time in the last five years, he wanted Daisy.
The one person in the world he knew would be feeling the exact same as him.
It took him months to dig himself out of the depression he fell into when Teddy died.
His sobriety was challenged but he didn't break.
It wasn't until Julia asked him "Daddy when are you going to be happy again?" That he realized he couldn't live like this, he had to find away survive in a world without Teddy.
It was six months later that he found out that Daisy was dating America's heartthrob George Mathews.
He was an actor, six four, abs for days, brown hair and green eyes with a jaw that could cut glass.
It was all anyone could talk about.
How good they looked together, how in love they looked.
And somehow Billy knew.
This one was different.
It wasn't long before whispers of an engagement started.
He knew he could make a call to Warren. Find out if it was true but he wanted to live in denial for a while longer.
It didn't last.
One morning he came down stairs.
Julia happily eating her cheerio’s in front of the TV and Camila was leaning against the kitchen counter cradling her coffee with a contemplative look on her face.
"You okay babe?" He asked as he sidestepped one of his kids' toys.
"Daisy is getting married. “ She took a breath and eyed him carefully. “She's engaged to that Mathews actor."
"Oh" he swallowed tightly and crossed his arms. "Right. That’s ah… that’s cool, good for her.”
He knew this Mathew’s guy was different but that didn't mean he was ready for this.
Cami stepped forward and stroked his arm.
"It's okay that it hurts."
His stomach twisted in discomfort.
"Cami" he warned.
"I know, I know just... it's okay. And if you want to talk about it, I'm here." She gave a small warm smile before kissing his cheek and heading out of the kitchen.
God, he loved that woman.
Soon there were new whispers.
That Daisy was pregnant.
He felt... happy.
No Jealousy.
No anger.
Just the complete and unwavering faith that she would be an amazing mother.
That feeling of contentment, of knowledge that the woman he loved was no longer alone and had everything she needed to be happy lasted for two more months.
One night it was about eight o'clock and he was sitting on the couch with his arms wrapped around his wife and his daughter on the carpet below them drawing while they watched the news.
And then the worst happened.
“Breaking news actor George Mathews and singer Daisy Jones…”
Daisy was in a car accident.
Her fiancé was dead.
She was in surgery.
No one knew if she would survive.
If her baby would survive.
He sat there frozen in shock.
He felt numb.
'Was this real? It didn't feel real.'
The phone rang, Cami went to pick it up.
His daughter was whimpering softly in front of him and he couldn't move.
He could only focus on the TV and the image of Daisy's totalled car and wonder how the fuck she was suppose to survive that.
It was three days of almost grief and panicked phone calls between the ex band members before Warren let everyone know she was in the clear.
She had given birth to a beautiful daughter three months premature that was fighting hard to live.
Daisy had broken her leg in two places, broken three of her ribs, broken her collarbone and dislocated her shoulder
But she was alive. She was alive. Billy had to keep reminding himself of that. Especially when he woke in the middle of the night covered in sweat and trying to catch his breath. He kept having nightmares of her accident and him being unable to get to her.
All Billy wanted was to be there for her but it wasn't his place anymore, it wasn't ever his place.
Warren assured him that he and Lisa were taking care of her, that Simone and Burnie had flown in and that he didn't have to worry.
He couldn't help it.
The accident was cannon fodder for every news outlet, every magazine and TV show.
Everyone loved a tragedy right?
It made him sick.
Their car was hit by another car full of drunken teenagers running a red light, they escaped without a scratch and Daisy's car flipped five times before colliding with a lamp post.
They said she was awake and stuck in that car with her dead fiancé for three hours before they could get her out.
Billy couldn't imagine how horrific that would have been for her.
They filmed her at Mathew’s funeral two weeks later.
Black and blue in a wheelchair that Warren was steering, her left arm and left leg in a cast and her right arm in a sling.
He's never seen that look on her face before.
Just... devastated.
She was out of the public's eye for two years after that, raising her daughter, Hope, and grieving her fiancé.
He would hear little bits over the years from Warren and Lisa.
Even saw a picture of a beautiful toddler with fiery red hair and a happy gummy smile.
She was adorable and looked just like her mother.
Billy wished he could meet her.
The next time she was in the public eye it was when she set up a charity for single parents and when she adopted two young boys from Africa.
They were four and six, brothers according to Warren.
He could picture her life now without the grief of the accident.
Warm and whole and full of children's laughter.
It eased something that had tensed since he had heard of the accident.
And then they found out Camila was sick.
Billy held her though every migraine and nausea.
Every bout of tiredness and every mood swing.
He read to her when she couldn't get out of bed.
And told her how beautiful she was when she lost her hair and gained insecurity.
And then he buried her.
It was five years later when his daughter was in college for filming that she came to him with the idea of finally telling the world the story of Daisy jones and the six.
It was therapeutic.
And re-opened old wounds.
And completely worth it to put that smile on his daughter's face.
And then she showed him the recording of his late wife telling him to go to Daisy.
And he didn't know he was waiting for permission.
He went to her.