Chapter Text
The church floor was cold when I woke up, my hand still clutching a gas station copy of Gone with the wind. I wished to be back home in a soft bed, Soda’s arm thrown across my back in his sleep. For a moment I’d forgotten about Johnny having run away with me but I remembered as soon as I heard him sobbing softly behind me. I turned around. “What is it, Johnnycake?”
He wiped his nose hurriedly. The coarse denim of his jacket sleeve left his nose tip all red. “I can’t stop thinking about that Soc, Pony. He was just a kid! I’m in deep, man, very deep.”
I rolled on my side and reached out a hand. “Come on, Johnny, everything will be alright.” I squeezed his shoulder.
Truth is, Johnny didn’t look like all was gonna be alright. Truth is, he was scared to death. I was too. But he didn’t need to know that so I said, “What time is it anyway?”
He stretched his neck to see outside the dusty window. His voice was a bit shaky. “Just about sundown, it looks like. Must be evening already.”
I nodded. It was easy to lose track of time here - five minutes ago might have been two hours ago.
“Time for dinner then, Ponyboy.” Johnny said half-heartedly. Neither of us was really looking forward to baloney sandwiches. We couldn’t take much longer of all this, we both knew that.
“Let’s get some water.” I said, just to delay the dreaded baloney and have something to wash the dry bread down with.
Johnny wiped his nose one last time and then scrambled to his feet, stretching out his hand to help me up. Together we went out the back door of the church and into warm light. The orange September sun stood low over the meadows that rolled out at the foot of the hill we were on. Everything was touched by a gentle hue of gold and seemed to shine like some sort of dream.
“Pony, look,” Johnny said softly and pointed at the sky.
He didn’t need to tell me twice. I turned my head toward heaven and took in the beauty of this evening. For a moment I damn near forgot all the crap we were in. My head was filled with soft breaths of clouds and even fuzzy ideas of Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler looking at a sunset just like this one. I could feel something spreading in my chest, something big and painful and beautiful. It was a lonely feeling but at the same time it made me all the more aware of Johnny standing beside me. I secretly hoped he could feel that same thing. But I think he did because he took my hand and said, “You know, Pony? This is half alright.”
I took a deep breath. “Yeah,it is.”
Johnny was right there, just a kid who killed somebody, some other sixteen-year-old kid who’d barely lived a life. Bobby was only two years older than me but he’d seemed angry enough to be a grown-up the night he and his gang jumped us. Though now all I could see in him as was the handsome rich boy who made Cherry Valance smile once when he’d kissed her. I didn’t have it in me to truly hate someone who could make Cherry smile.
I wondered if Johnny thought about all these things too. His palm was warm and alive. His fingers squeezed a little too tight but I didn’t mind. The long sweetgrass swayed in the cool wind. I understood what Johnny meant. Maybe I was the only guy in the world who did.