Work Text:
Izuku leaves, what else is he supposed to do? Katsuki called him a friend, again, danced with someone else, again, got mad when Izuku danced with someone else, again, all the while telling him how good he’d look in his bed, again. So, he walks out of the club they’d been at for over an hour.
“Deku, fuckin- Izuku!” screams Katsuki from behind him, sounding pissed and confused.
“Go away Kacchan.” calls Izuku over his shoulder as he waves a hand for the cab coming down the road.
“Izuku, where the hell are you going?! Thought we were staying for a while longer before we ditched the goonsquad.” snaps Katsuki as he catches up to him, but Izuku sees the squad standing behind Katsuki, listening.
“This is your only chance, Kacchan. Your friends are within hearing distance, and I think I see a phone. You wanna be real? Tell them who the hell I am to you. If not, I’m going home alone. And we really will be friends, just like you always say.” says Izuku seriously, quiet because he’s not going to out them, but he’s done waiting.
It’s been six months of practically dating, sleeping together, loving each other, whispers of I love yous pressed into skin, and yet in public they’re nothing more than hero partners that own an agency together. Izuku is tired of loving Katsuki in secret, tired of loving him and watching him dance with everyone but him. He’s tired of trying to have fun and having to deal with Katsuki’s jealousy that he can’t reciprocate without being called dramatic. He’s just tired of feeling like a side piece instead of the real thing.
“Izuku, you- I-" stutters Katsuki, panicking enough that Izuku almost feels bad for putting his foot down, almost feels bad for telling him that it’s done.
“Goodbye Kacchan. I’ll see you at work in the morning.” says Izuku softly, eyes brimming with tears that he doesn’t want to let fall.
“No, wait, Izuku. Don’t- just, hold on!” exclaims Katsuki seriously as he steps forward to grab his wrist. “Just, give me a few minutes. Okay? Let me talk to them real quick, please.”
“Katsuki, I don’t have time to wait. I’m leaving, the cab isn’t going to keep waiting for you to say the same shit you always do. Just let me go.” sighs Izuku as he kindly removes Katsuki’s hand and opens the cab door.
“No, Izuku. I’m not letting your ass go, fuck! Just…” growls Katsuki before he taps a finger against the glass of the cab door, shoving some bills in the minute it rolls down. “Fucking take this and give me five minutes. Don’t leave yet.”
“Five minutes, but if he tells me to leave, I’m leaving.” comes a low voice that Katsuki just ignores as he turns to his friends.
“Get your asses over here. I got some shit to say.” snaps Katsuki harshly as he sees Izuku hesitating to climb into the cab while his friends dart over to stand around him. “Izuku and I are together, fucking, whatever. I’m gonna talk to him later. But for six months, we’ve been sleeping together, and I’m fucking in love with him. You got that? You can beat my ass for my stupidity later, I gotta go make it up to him for being stupid and being scared to tell everyone without communicating it to him.”
The bakusquad look at him with wide eyes, jaws dropped enough that Denki actually toppled forward, almost falling if it weren’t for Sero. Katsuki turns to Izuku with hope in his heart.
“Can we please leave together and talk about this? I’d like to actually tell you everything, not just hide behind this secret bullshit I put in place like a coward.” says Katsuki softly as he steps closer, hoping he’ll give him the time of day despite knowing he doesn’t deserve it.
“You can come home with me, but I’m not going to guarantee I’m letting you stay.” says Izuku quietly, still reeling at the way Katsuki just said it all and took the blame for it. “You know that wasn’t all on you, right? I didn’t communicate either, not really anyways.”
“Yeah, well I saw you, didn’t need you to communicate. I should’ve responded to your reactions rather than continuing to hide because I didn’t think I was worth it.” replies Katsuki as he stands by the door, hand on the side of it, tensing as he thinks of setting it on Izuku’s, of holding his hand. “And you still told me when I was being a dick, told me when I played double standards with you, but I told you that you were being dramatic, shrugged it off without even a second thought. That’s on me, not on you. I was being stupid. I wanted you, but I was scared to show you off like you deserved.”
“And you’re not scared of that now? Because Kacchan, you’ve been doing this for six months. This is the game you’ve played. I can’t love you in secret.” repeats Izuku, nervous but serious as he looks at Katsuki, as he really lays it out because this is the last time he’s going to be nice. “If this is what you want, this game, then you can’t come over, you can’t try to talk it out with me. I’m done with this, and we will simply be partners and that’s it. If you come home with me, and you argue that you still want this thing with me to be secret, I will not be nice. This is your last chance, Kacchan, because I won’t do it again.”
Izuku and Katsuki are locked in a stare-down, and it’s reasonable for their silence. This is a conversation that has been building for months, especially in the last few weeks where they’ve been out with friends more. This is the moment where things will change for the better or the worst, but that outcome depends on Katsuki.
Either they will leave here, have a genuine conversation, and possibly become the couple Katsuki’s words and actions deem them to be like Izuku wishes they would be, or they’ll be no more than hero partners, agency owners, peers, and childhood friends with a strain. It will take them time, but Izuku knows they’ll overcome this like they’ve done everything else.
“We have to have this conversation. You’ve processed it, nerd, but you don’t believe me. And I guess I can’t blame you because I’ve been giving you so many reasons not to. Let’s just talk, okay?” Offers Katsuki quietly, almost numb as he looks at Izuku, vermilion eyes deep with regret, guilt, and hurt that shows even more in his voice, in the inward turn of his high shoulders and the way his hands twitch in his pocket and on the door. “I’ll leave as soon as we’re done, and we can take some time to figure it out. But for now, let’s get you to your apartment, and we’ll go from there. The squad will take care of the tab for me, I’ll pay 'em back from my check. Let’s go before the driver leaves with you half in the cab.”
“Okay, Kacchan.” says Izuku quietly before he slides into the cab, sliding over to leave a single space between himself and Katsuki.
He needs the space, needs to breathe without the cinnamon scent of Katsuki’s cologne hitting his nose, he needs this. Their words are processing still, it’s too much for Izuku to have immediately taken in and let simmer and breathe before he responds.
And maybe that’s why he was so deep in this anger and hurt that he’d been feeling that he let himself be blinded by it rather than taking the time to just listen. In the heat of the moment, things can shatter with a burning touch so hot that there’s no saving it.
At least Katsuki saw that, and Izuku lets himself think over everything that’s been said during the thirty-minute drive to his apartment. He takes that time to run through every emotion, process every word, every reaction, everything.
And first, he feels embarrassed that he made a scene, that he forced Katsuki to tell his friends everything, what they’ve been doing, in public.
But then he just feels confused, uncertain, and loved.
Confused because Katsuki has done so well in communicating everything except apparently what he felt for Izuku and their sleeping/love messiness they had going on.
Uncertain because how can he trust what Katsuki says anymore? After all this, how is he supposed to believe Katsuki isn’t about to try to turn around and say he wants exactly what they have, and he can’t whine about it now that it’s public? Izuku doesn’t think Katsuki will go back on his words, but he also doesn’t know whether he can take Katsuki’s word as they are anymore.
Loved because Katsuki said he’d noticed how he felt. Katsuki told him he was scared, and instead of facing it, he was a coward. Katsuki understands what Izuku was saying, understands how much this hurts Izuku, and he wants to give Izuku space after all this. Loved because Katsuki said those words in front of their friends, not into his mouth, not against his freckled skin, not into his hair, but in front of their friends, in public.
When the car slows to a stop, Izuku’s head feels clearer, his anxiety increases, but he thinks he can handle this better now. He pulls some money out to hand it forward for the drive and slips out of the cab with a quiet thank you behind Katsuki.
It’s silent as they walk into the building together, hands brushing as they swing between them, but the silence continues as Izuku takes the lead just slightly. Enough to herd them both passed the nosy receptionist that likes Katsuki because he’s Dynamight and hates Izuku because of his closeness to him. They ignore her calls, stepping into the open elevator and pressing for the fifth floor, it’s the ride up that fills with tension, fills with questions and fears. Izuku feels like it’s choking him, but when he side-eyes Katsuki, he can see the darting eyes, see the clench and unclench of his hands, he sees it in him too.
“Kacchan, what’s the goal here?” asks Izuku quietly as they near his floor.
“To be honest, to clear things up, to tell you the truth, and then to let you process it. That’s it. I have no other goal. I just want to tell you the truth, and I want to hope that in the end, we can at least be friends if it doesn’t go any other way.” explains Katsuki just as quietly as they hit floor four.
“What other way can this go?” asks Izuku softly, curious as they move up again.
“A date, a real, public date. That’s the only other positive way this ends aside from us still being friends. The other way is that this ends with you hating me forever, I don’t think I could handle that, but I would for you.” says Katsuki as they move out of the elevator to walk down the hall to Izuku’s door.
“Then I guess, let’s talk.” murmurs Izuku as he unlocks the door and opens the door, letting Katsuki go in first.
They go inside, and everything just kind of pauses. Katsuki talks, and Izuku just sits on the couch as he does.
Katsuki tells him all sorts of things, like the first time he realized he was starting to like him as more than his friend, just after the war ended, after Katsuki had healed.
They were hanging out in the arcade, and they’d taken turns trying to win outta the stupid claw machine. “You won that stupid red dinosaur that had a collar that said All Might, and your green eyes just lit up like emerald jewels and you were so excited. I couldn’t stop watching you. In that moment, all I could think was “god he’s so adorable, I wanna kiss him.” And it scared the hell out of me, but when I tried to give myself distance to figure it out, you thought I was avoiding you, and we fought. So, I just didn’t do that, we hung out, and I thought a lot.”
Katsuki sat down next to Izuku, held a hand towards him, and waited for Izuku to take it. Izuku places his scarred hand on top of Katsuki’s warm palms and Katsuki simple brings his thumb up, laying it on the back of his hand, and rubs circles into his skin.
“The day I realized I had already fallen in love with you was a week before we slept together the first time. I’d stayed over because my apartment was wrecked after a villain tried it and fucking ruined all my hard work like a right bastard. I was cooking, and you were running around whining because I’d insulted your messy ass apartment, even though it really did just look lived in, and I’m just an asshole.”
“You definitely are an asshole, Kacchan, but you’re also sweet and kind in your own way. Stop insulting yourself asshat, and I remember that day… I cried a lot.” murmurs Izuku as he leans over to nudge Katsuki with his elbow, to shut him up for a minute.
“But you screeched like a bird, and I turned my pans down because you scared the shit out of me. And I come out there to see you holding the fucking news clippings of us on the day we announced our agency and the day we won number one hero after having our agency, as a duo.” says Katsuki quietly as he ignored what Izuku says to keep moving with his point.
“Kacchan!” whines Izuku as he interrupts Katsuki again, and Katsuki huffs a snort at him.
“You had tears in your eyes, blubbering like always, but you were wearing one of my sweatshirts, your hair was pulled back in a Dynamight hair tie, and you had on my personal line of socks with orange grenades on ‘em. And I was just in awe of you, shocked that even in the safety of your home when you want to get away from being a hero and just relax, you wore my merch, you found comfort in it, that shocked me. But I just thought I was falling more in love with you every day, and that’s when it hit me like a fucking train.” finishes Katsuki lightly as he looks at Izuku’s hair as he’d buried his face in Katsuki’s arm and started quietly weeping.
“Why did you do this, call us friends who say all of these things, who treat each other like we’re dating, when you felt this fucking much?” asks Izuku into the skin of Katsuki’s arm, asking the only question there really is that hasn’t been addressed yet.
“I was scared, and I know that’s dumb as hell. But I was. Izuku, you’re so fucking bright, and so goddamn amazing. Every day I hope that you don’t find someone better, every day I hope that you’ll be okay with things as they are, that you’ll stay because the truth is…” says Katsuki, getting choked up as he tries to explain, tries to tell Izuku what he deserves to hear, he has to stop and take a breath, look away from the curls that give way to imploring emerald orbs. “I don’t deserve you, I’m not good enough for you, and there is someone out there that would never do this to you, that will never let anyone hurt you the way I have over and over again. There is someone out there that loves you and wants to love you the way you deserve. And I never wanted you to realize that because I fucking love you, but I know I’m not what you deserve. I never could be.”
“Katsuki Fucking Bakugou, I know you didn’t just say that bullshit to me again!” exclaims Izuku as he dips around Katsuki’s arms, climbing into his lap and pulling his face up so their eyes are locked. “You deserve everything good in this world, and you deserve someone who loves you with everything they have, even when you’re being a dumbass. Your feelings are valid, but I won’t listen to you put yourself down anymore. I am in love with you, and if you’ll stop running from good things for five seconds, I want you to stay with me goddammit.”
“Izuku, I just hurt you repeatedly for the last six months, how the hell could you argue with me?” asks Katsuki in a bewildered tone.
“Because I love you, and I think you’re the fucking best person out there. Why the hell would I settle for less than the best if the best is what I deserve?” asks Izuku pointedly as he thumps Katsuki in the forehead.
“I- I don’t- I don’t know…” says Katsuki as his voice trails off, uncertainty and want weighing far too heavily on him.
“Katsuki, I want you. Do you want me?” asks Izuku seriously, refocusing Katsuki’s eyes on him.
“Of course, I do, can’t want anyone else when you’re on my mind.” says Katsuki genuinely.
“So, can we go out on a date sometime this week?” asks Izuku softly, smiling at the admission.
“Are you sure?” asks Katsuki quietly as he looks into those green eyes.
“Always when it comes to you.” replies Izuku genuinely as he leans further into Katsuki’s space.
“Then let’s do this the right way now. You, me, a real date, dates, and everyone is gonna know how much I love you.” whispers Katsuki as he leans up to press their foreheads together, he can’t help it.
“Good, we can be as loud as we want. As long as it’s you and me, I don’t care who knows.” says Izuku softly as he rubs their noses together.
“Then we’ll let ‘em all know. Do you want me to go home tonight? Or do you want me to stay, just to sleep?” asks Katsuki quietly, wincing slightly at his own question.
“You can stay. I’d rather sleep in your arms than sleep alone any day.” says Izuku happily as he leans over to cuddle into Katsuki’s neck.
Katsuki chuckles quietly, then he adjusts his grip on Izuku, and stands up with him in his arms.
“Let’s go to bed, Zu.” chuckles Katsuki as he carries him off to the bedroom.
“‘M not changing my clothes.” yawns Izuku as he tightens his hold on Katsuki’s waist with his legs.
“Neither am I then, we’ll deal with the world in the morning.” whispers Katsuki amusedly as he gets Izuku laid on the bed, waiting for him to get into place under the covers before Katsuki climbs in on top of ‘em.
And they fall asleep wrapped up in each other, just like they wanted.
When they do announce their relationship, they surpass Kyoka and Momo’s announcement, even surpassing Monoma and Denki’s with over 7.9 million retweets combined on their Twitter posts.