Work Text:
"Ziggy, I need to go to work," Flop grumbled lightly.
He tried to convince his sleepy husband to let him go for the past 10 minutes, but he was still in bed with Ziggy preventing him from leaving.
Usually, Flop wouldn't mind lounging in bed with him, but the new wave of terminations in PD was more than a little concerning. It's not to say that punctuality would fix what has already transpired. The hunt for Simone negatively impacted his chances of helping Reggie and his current standing in PD. It frustrated him, feeling like no one trusted his integrity as an officer. Why must other people's feelings dictate his moral code?
"Ziggy..." he kept on grumbling.
Flop tried pushing Ziggy's arms down, hoping they would slip below his hips and lend him enough space to slink away. Instead, the older man pulled him closer to his chest, tightening the hold. He was trapped.
"You're not going anywhere, buttercup," Ziggy said. His voice was deep and heavy with sleep.
It was rare for his husband to be this needy for more than a day. It was now day 3, and as much as he liked this attentive side of Buggs, Flow saw a very different reason why he was so touchy - fear.
"Being sweet will not work," Flop sighed.
"Why? I haven't seen you in a week. I'm showing you how much I've missed you."
"Yeah? And whose fault is it?"
There it was, another point of contention that bugged Flop recently. Whatever that "business" in Florida entailed, it was clear that Ziggy's sleep was poor during that impromptu vacation. When he returned home a few days ago, he passed out in their bed in his travel clothes. Following that, Ziggy insisted on spending most of their time together in their beachside home. It was clear to Flop that a week of separation didn't alleviate his husband's concerns about his safety. And yet there were no texts from him asking about his whereabouts either. Lastly, there was a cherry on top - Flop texts during that time went unanswered.
It didn't escape him how quickly Buggs seized up at the words he uttered.
"It was just a short trip, Flop."
He rolled his eyes, "You're a hypocrite."
"Excuse me, what?" Ziggy asked, rousing from sleep fully.
"You heard me."
Buggs untangled his arms and backed up into a sitting position.
"How?! I went away for a week, only! At least I didn't leave a stupid message that would leave you worried sick, you freaking idiot!"
Ziggy rubbed his face with his palms before continuing, "How can you paint me as the bad guy after you pull that shit on me?"
"First of all, you didn't text me jack shit. Secondly, I didn't know this whole Simone thing would blow up how it did."
Ziggy glared at him, "Yeah, just like I won't know if you will get shot by a sniper rifle!"
"I have a fucking job to do, Ziggy! What? Do you want me not to go to work ever? You're going to pull rank on that as well?"
He stood up and started to collect his discarded clothes off the floor, desperately wanting to put on whatever he could and leave quickly. He didn't want to entertain the argument, even though it already got under his skin.
"Why not fire me right now, while you are at it, because fuck Flop and fuck whatever dreams and aspirations he has in the PD."
Ziggy's morning voice faded, "I'm not going to fucking fire you, you dipshit. I'm worried you will run off somewhere and die without ever fucking saying what you will do or where you are going!"
"I already told you that I would keep you posted-"
"Of fucking course-"
"I SAID I would, so I fucking will!" Flop stopped what he was doing and glared at Ziggy, "Unlike you, who disappeared for a WEEK without a single word or a goodbye."
"No, you d-"
"You keep saying how you are worried I will die. Then how is that supposed to make me feel when I heard nothing from you when all of this Reggie, Simone shit is happening. What about MY feelings now?!"
"Flop, I left a note, you fuck!"
Flop tossed all that he collected back to the ground, "WHERE?!"
"ON THE FRIDGE!"
His mind blanked, "...What?"
"Oh my fucking god," Ziggy grumbled and stood up. He walked over to the shorter man and put him over his shoulder, breaking Flop out of the stun.
"Hey, put me down!"
"No, you are coming with me to see this before you start fucking accusing me of planting a note."
Flop hit his fists against Ziggy's bare back. He knew it was pointless, but he wouldn't go down without a fight. The older man carried him out of the bedroom into their open-plan kitchen, stopping in front of the fridge so Flop was facing it directly. Held up by a single magnet, there was a note:
Going to a nature reserve in Cape Coral. It's in the one state you don't need to Gurgle, I hope. It's ranger shit. I'll tell you later.
PS: I'm not cheating, you ding-dong Dugong.
- Ziggy.
"Oh..." Guilt bloomed in his chest, "Why wouldn't you just text me?"
At that, Ziggy put him down and turned to face him.
"I have it on good authority that you don't read your texts, not to mention calls. Even if you reply to my calls, there are others who say you don't."
"I... yeah... but you could have called!"
"I did, but you are a deep sleeper. I came home to check before I left, and you were in bed, so I figured you would check the fridge in the morning."
"I- I wasn't eating at home this whole time..."
Ziggy sighed, "I figured. Damien said something like that."
"I'm sorry, I lashed out."
He approached, closing the small gap between them, and rested his forehead on Ziggy's broad chest. His breathing was labored, both from anxiety and mental exhaustion. The last few weeks were brutal, and any more fights with his loved ones would bring him to an early grave. Flop silently wished he could forget it all or leave it behind. Could he run to another state? Maybe he should have been the one to go to Florida. There was something sinisterly exciting about that thought - it frightened him.
"I'm tired. I am so tired of people above me treating me like a kid or a cadet who knows nothing about policing."
Without a single word, a pair of strong arms wrapped around his back, holding him. He felt Ziggy's chin lay on the top of his head.
"You, Dark... I bet Brian had a fucking laugh about it too."
"Fuck what Brian says," Ziggy spoke softly into his hair.
"Yeah, but I'm sure he talked to Baas because they are all buddy-buddy with each other, and they already got Winston fired, so guess who's next?"
Ziggy tightened his grip, "I won't let it happen."
"If Soze says it will..."
"Yeah..."
"I'm sorry, Flop," he said, kissing his hair.
At that, Flop nuzzled his nose into Ziggy's chest. His world was caving in, and the sinister thought resurfaced yet again, so inviting with its ignorant facade.
"I should leave. It's over."
"You're not fired."
"Yet," Flop said with off-putting amusement in his tone.
"No. Stop over-dramatizing it."
"Why not? I know you told me not to get involved. I'm not anymore, but who will help Reggie if everyone refuses t-"
Ziggy leaned back to look at him, "Who said that there is no officer to take care of Reggie's side of things."
"Reggie."
"And you believe him?!"
"See, there was no report, and every command member I spoke with shut me down immediately, even you, and you said I will be fucked, and now I am..." his voice cracked by the end of it.
"But you talked to Bundy."
"Yeah," he looked up at him, "and he is not command, but he talked to Brian, and that got to Baas-." His rambling stopped when Ziggy shook his shoulders.
"Stop!"
The room fell silent, with the duo staring at each other. The grip on Flop's shoulders painfully halted his hysteria.
"Look, this escalated about what? Three? Three weeks ago? And so far, only Winston got fired for something similar, if not worse. If Baas or Soze wanted you out, you would be already." He nodded at him, "You are not, and even if they did, it doesn't mean you can't get rehired. Departments are getting the okay to hire without consulting them. No matter how this ends, you will be fine. You hear me?"
"Yeah..."
The death grip on his shoulders eased, and the hands slipped off. Flop winced.
Ziggy's eyes widened, realizing what he had done, "Did I?"
"A little, yeah," he massaged one of the shoulders.
The older man reached out, but Flop took a step back. It was an odd sight for Flop to witness. He was the one that was hurt, and yet Ziggy's expression shifted to reflect it.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to," he said remorsefully.
Flop bit his tongue. He could have screamed a slew of nasty insults and agony-fueled comments to express his frustration about Ziggy's insane ride-or-die attitude mixed in with his uncontrollable temper when he panicked. Sometimes it was overbearing. He took a deep breath.
"I- I know," he half whispered.
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know, and it happens... Every time you're scared, it happens."
"Yeah- I..." Ziggy sighed. His shoulders sagged. "When I get frustrated... or scared, I can say things I don't mean or say something dumb and hurtful... I just wanted you to know that if you weren't on the radar for the Umbrella, this would definitely make you a target."
Flop groaned, "Not this again."
"And I know it doesn't matter now!" Ziggy interrupted desperately, "You did the right thing by talking to Bundy... I just- I hope you realize that you, personally, don't need to carry this investigation when we have an investigative department in the state. Let other people, who are less connected, take the possible risk."
"That's very scummy," he said, finding his voice again. He knew where this was going, and if he had to be defensive about his ideals, so be it.
"How?"
"HOW?! Because, Ziggy, they would be involved! Sure, I'm a Seaside cop, but they would be in the same danger I was if, let's say, Hydra didn't know I am Seaside. Why is my life more valuable than that of any other officer?!"
Ziggy groaned and walked up to the nearest kitchen counter to lean on. He hung his head low. His glorious mane obstructed the view of his face.
Flop continued, "I don't get how this is the breaking point every time we have this fucking argument!"
Oddly, Ziggy didn't bite back. He stood still, arms tense, holding onto the counter's edge. After a minute, it started to look concerning, but a very shaky and broken voice came through.
"Because this is my breaking point, Flop... This is where I draw the line. I don't expect you to understand it anymore because I tried to explain this... I really fucking tried... I- I am done.
"What do you mean?" Flop asked hesitantly.
Ziggy took his time to answer, "When things get heated, and someone I love is in danger, I lose my shit. I'm worried that they will take you, and I will never see you again alive. And- and when something similar happened to my last partner, no one could help me. Not DOJ. Not PD. No one. I had to risk everything I had... and I'd do the same for you. Every time. I know it can happen at any point- and it doesn't have to be Hydra, but..."
He let out an exasperated sigh and turned to face him, brushing the hair out of his face.
"I don't know how else to tell you, Flop. I- I would die for you. I am willing to, whether you are a cop or not. You can still be a cop. I can't, nor will I force you to leave. I know you won't either way, but- just know that I understand the risks our jobs have, regardless of this investigation."
Flop was stumped. He heard every word. It all made sense to him, but something was amiss. The way that his lover looked at him, the pleading, longing eyes. Ziggy yearned to be understood and heard, which Flop believed he did. What else did he want?
Ziggy pursed his lips, "I just... I wish you could see the value that you have to me. I value your life over everyone else, including my own, because I love you. I care about you so god damn much that even though any day in this city, either of us can die, if I can help it, I'd rather it be me who has to take that bullet."
The conviction in his voice made Flop's heart melt, but his mind screamed at him for not knowing how to reciprocate his lover's confession. Hearing him out wasn't enough. Was he meant to be the same as him?
"I... I'm struggling to understand-" Flop stopped, seeing how quickly Ziggy's eyes dulled at the response. Flop mentally cursed himself.
"It's not about you being an officer," Ziggy said flatly. "If there is one thing you should take away from my rambling is that I don't care if you were or will be an officer, I will always care and love you regardless, and I will worry about your life regardless."
"No. I got that part. It's very hot and sweet that you would sacrifice so much for me... I- Yeah- It sounds like you expect me to do the same for you."
A look of severe trepidation crossed Ziggy's features. "Would you?"
"I think so."
"You don't seem convinced," Ziggy said with a frown.
"I just... I don't think I had that before."
"When Fae first contacted me again, did it not cross your mind?"
"I remember feeling scared that she was right around the corner. I didn't want to leave you alone if she was."
"But... would you risk your life for me as I would for you in that situation?"
"Yes," Flop said without a second thought.
The taller man sighed with relief.
"Because I do the same every day as my job," Flop ended.
Ziggy scoffed, "You really don't know how to separate those two, do you?"
"I mean, you said it yourself it- Oh..." It finally clicked. "Would I risk my job for you?"
Flop's brows furrowed, deep in thought, while the older man looked at him expectantly.
"I'm struggling to imagine that, but if I would risk my life as an officer, why would it change if I wasn't one? It would be the same regardless. I would be at risk anytime, all the time, but would I put myself in danger to protect you?" He paused. "I would try to be smart about it and not end up dying because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to come back to you. If it had to be you or me, who had to go? Then I'd choose for you to live."
There was a brief moment of quiet as Ziggy stood with a look of confusion about him. Then, he facepalmed. Flop was about to complain, but Ziggy's sudden giggling stopped him.
"This is the longest yes I've ever heard. I would have a heart attack faster than you finishing that."
A half-smile tugged at Flop's lips, "Listen, I don't know how else to explain this so you won't think that I don't care about you. Okay, to put it simply - I love you, and I would do everything to keep you safe. What else do you want from me?"
"Nothing," Ziggy pushed himself off the counter and approached. He wrapped his arms around the shorter man's waist. "Just be yourself. Be a ranger. Be the frustrating little shit that you are to me."
"You are not a gift yourself," Flop chuckled.
"Excuse you! I'm your trophy husband! Frankly, you should always be worried about me."
"I am, you fuck," he said playfully, "and I sure was when you went to Florida. You tried to run away from me, huh?"
"Oh shut up," he said and pulled him in to embrace.
Flop reciprocated, "Why did you go there?"
"It will sound out of place after this conversation."
He rolled his eyes, "Just say it, or we will fight about it later."
"Not wrong," Ziggy rested his chin on Flop's shoulder. "I went there on behalf of Tessa. She is arranging a transfer of a few animals from there."
"That's it?"
"... I was also thinking about retirement. For the both of us."
"Now? In Florida?" Flop sounded surprised.
"No, not now obviously. I wanted to take a look around the place since I was there. And you grew up there, so I don't know- maybe you'd find it nice to be back home to settle down."
"I.. don't know actually. I loved living by the coast, but I didn't think about retiring at all. I don't want to for a long while either."
"Yeah, and I won't force that on you. You're still climbing the ladder in the PD. I also don't want to leave just yet, since the rangers have been my world as much as you are."
Another pause. Ziggy pressed his cheek to Flop's neck.
"I was thinking," he continued, "if you died, I would not be in PD anymore, and the more I thought about it- There are times when I don't want to be an officer. I'd like to leave it all behind, find a house in the country and live out my days there with you."
Flop's face reddened, "You would leave your life's work with the rangers to settle down with me?"
"This city is too chaotic for us to have a quiet life at, and Flop... I'm not getting any younger. There will be a point when the department will be full of fresh blood, with new eyes on what the Rangers should be. I like the changes we have now, and I'm grateful we have Tessa in charge, but I'm not blind to the fact that I will not have much of a say in it, probably a decade or so from now."
Ziggy leaned back, with one hand resting on Flop's lower back. He gently took hold of Flop's hand and brought it close to his lips, kissing the finger with the precious ring on it.
"I want to be ready to let it go easily and retire happily, knowing I got it started in the first place. The sooner I start thinking this way, the better it will be because that change can happen at any point, and what won't change is my affection for you. And if you choose to settle somewhere quiet with me sooner than later, I will choose that in a heartbeat."
Flop smiled and wiped his eyes with his free hand before tears would set loose, "God, you will either make me cry or get me all hot and bothered."
At that, the taller man leaned in and kissed him, "Why not both."
Flop pulled him in for another, wrapping his arms around his neck. The kisses got more passionate and needy with each passing second. Ziggy pulled back, earning him a disappointed moan from his lover.
"I can give you a day off, you know," he said with a playful smirk.
"I already had three. I need to work."
In response, Ziggy kissed his shoulder, moving up to his neck, saying a word between each peck, "Okay, what about an excuse for being late." He stopped by his ear and whispered, "How's that sound?"
"... Maybe."
He scooped the shorter man into his arms and carried him bridal style to the bedroom, "Come on, I want to hear how much you would sacrifice for me."