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“Hey do you wanna go grab another blanket out of the closet?” Hizashi asked, passing by Shota with his arms full of pillows and blankets.
“Sure.” Shota deadpanned, slipping his phone into his back pocket and walking upstairs to the closet in the hallway. There were too many choices, but Shota opted for the fluffiest blanket he could find. It seemed big enough for the two of them. Besides, if Hizashi ended up hogging it, there was always his sleeping bag.
Walking back downstairs to the basement where Hizashi’s room was, he opened the door to a huge nest of pillows and blankets laid out. Hizashi had even taken the comforter from his bed and sat criss crossed on the floor scrolling through Netflix on his TV. He smiled at Shota, “Nice choice, my friend.” and patted on the floor next to him.
Friend. Ugh. It was his own fault that Hizashi saw him that way. It’s not like it was easy to confess to your best friend that you actually like boys and that the boy you really have your eyes on is him. He should have taken Oboro’s advice before he died. It’s been what, three years since then? And how many before that had he been telling Shota to just tell Hizashi what was on his mind? It was too late now. Sorry Oboro. Friend-zoning aside, Shota sat next to the blond and let Hizashi take the blanket and wrap it around them while he pulled the comforter over his legs.
He felt Hizashi’s arm wrap around him and pull him close to his side as they lay down against the giant pile of pillows. Hizashi reached for a Playstation remote and put his arm right back over Shota’s shoulder to continue scrolling.
“What should we watch?” he asked, eyes still on the screen.
Shota sighed and cozied up next to Hizashi, “I don’t care, no horror though.” It was weird- their dynamic. Hizashi had always been touchy. Shota hadn’t been until he met Hizashi, and now he felt like it was the only way he could comfortably express his emotions. Now, before Oboro’s death, they definitely wouldn’t be this close until after they had fallen asleep, but losing their friend seemed to bring them closer to each other. No one else really understood. Sure Nemuri could in some ways, but she was never as close with him as these two had been. A nudge to his cheek broke him out of his thoughts.
“Falling asleep on me already?” Hizashi poked at Shota’s cheek.
“Sorry, just thinking.” Shota mumbled.
“Bad thinking?” Hizashi inquired.
“No, not really. Just thinking about how things are… different.”
“Ah,” Hizashi said, his hand going back to the controller, closing Netflix and opening Disney Plus.
“You mean since Oboro?”
“Yeah.”
Hizashi hummed, and went to the search bar and typed ‘CARS’. He clicked on the title and paused it as soon as it started playing. He set the remote to his side and turned his head in Shota’s direction, his chin resting on top of his hair. He let the arm wrapped around him start playing with his dark locks.
“Well it’s been some time, so of course things are gonna be at least a little different, y’know?”
“Yeah, but I don’t mean generally. It was more… specific than that, I guess.”
“Tell me about it. What’s on your mind?”
Shota was silent. Words were hard. “You and I…”
“Okay, what about you and I?” Hizashi turned more to his side, moving the arm around Shota to support his weight. His other rested on Shota’s side as he moved closer. Shota mirrored the position.
“We’re just closer, I think. Most friends don’t sit so close.”
“Well hey, you don’t have a girlfriend do you?” Hizashi chuckled. Shota tried to hide a grimace at that comment. He didn’t know any better.
“No.”
“Does it make you uncomfortable that we’re so close? I figured since you initiated it would be fine.”
“No, it doesn’t bother me. I just… I don’t know.” He averted his gaze as Hizashi tilted his chin to get his attention.
“I feel like there’s more in that noggin of yours that you’re not tellin’ me. What’s going on, Sho?” Hizashi didn’t take his hand away from Shota’s chin. Instead, he let his thumb run along the short stubble he’d been growing in.
“I don’t want you to look at me any different.”
“Whatever it is, you’re still going to be Shota Aizawa. My best friend and one of the greatest people in my life. I love you, man. You know that! You can tell me anything, dude. I’m here for you.”
They sat like this for a few minutes. Hizashi returned his hand to Shota’s side, gently rubbing to comfort him.
What was Shota so afraid of? It’s not like Hizashi would care. He came out to Shota as bisexual within the first year of them being friends. It’s not like it was something Hizashi would have to learn to love about him. It just felt like being one step closer to possibly confessing, and the reality of that situation seemed like far too much to try and handle. Maybe he ought to just stop it all here and insist that he was tired and they go to sleep.
Unfortunately for Shota’s sake, something in him wanted to let the blond know. Some little piece of hope at the chance to be with Hizashi ate at the back of his mind. He looked into Hizashi’s eyes. Had they gotten greener? Why was his smile so soft? Had his freckles darkened? And why were his piercings so prominent right now? Especially those stupid little rings on his bottom lip. God… It’s like he got them for the sole purpose of making Shota suffer. He wondered what it felt like to kiss someone with piercings on their lip. Or what it might feel like to kiss someone with a tongue piercing.
Why was it so hot all of a sudden? Was Hizashi petting at his side this whole time? How long had he been staring at his lips? It must have been a moment too long because Hizashi seemed to take notice and a pink flush tinted his cheeks.
“What are you looking at, Shota?” Hizashi spoke carefully, a small smirk on his face. He knew.
Shota swallowed, his mouth dry. Hizashi snaked his arm around to the small of Shota’s back and pulled Shota closer. He wrapped his arm around Hizashi, their faces nose to nose. Hizashi brought his hand up to cup Shota’s face. He came closer, their lips only an inch apart, Hizashi whispered.
“Is this too close?” His voice low, but still soft. Shota grabbed at Hizashi’s shirt, fiddling with it nervously.
“No.” Shota whispered.
“What about this?” Soft lips touched Shota’s. Oh God. He felt hot all over and dizzy and lightheaded all at the same time. He gasped and sat up, breathing rapidly. He couldn’t look at Hizashi. Fuck. He ruined everything. Stupid emotions. How could he act so illogically and get carried away with staring? Hizashi sat up alongside him.
“Oh my God are you okay? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. If you want I can take you home-”
“Hizashi I’m gay.”
Hot tears formed in his eyes. God, he hated himself sometimes. What a fucking idiot. He just ruined everything they had because of a stupid impulse! How could he ever look at Hizashi again? Maybe he wouldn't, he could just get up and walk home. Never come back, and- He watched with his eyes full of tears waiting to fall that Hizashi had placed a hand on top of his own.
“Hey, that’s okay. It’s okay, Shota.” Fuck. His heart hurt. What was with this kid?! How could he be so horrible and so perfect all in one breath? Shota could feel his heartbeat pound in his ears.
“No it’s not. I’ve been hiding myself from you for years! I was too much of a coward to just say it. I hated the thought of even trying to tell you because that meant that I had to admit it to myself and I- I don’t have time for that. And not to mention that not only have I been gay my whole life, but I’ve had feelings for you since we became friends in high school and I was too afraid to say anything!” Hizashi took Shota’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers.
“Hey… Look at me, Shota.” Shota made eye contact with him. God he was beautiful. “It’s okay that you’re gay. And it’s okay that you like me. I like you too. I mean- I love you, and I have for a while now.” He chuckled. “You know, we’re kind of stupid if you think about it.”
“What? Why didn’t you ever say anything? You’re always so open about your emotions.”
Hizashi shrugged. “I mean I had a hunch that you liked guys but I didn’t want to invade your privacy.”
“Hizashi- you always invade my privacy.” Shota snorted. Holy shit. They were stupid.
“Okay, that’s fair. I guess I was scared that you might reject me in favor of studying and hero work. You were always so focused and I didn’t want to be another distraction. And then when Oboro died and you were more physical than before it confused me, but I figured that grief makes you do weird things sometimes. And to be honest- it felt nice to have that comfort. Especially because it was from you. You’re the only one who really gets it, besides Nemuri maybe, but for the most part it’s always been me and you. Not only that but I figure beggars can’t be choosers, so I took what attention I could get from you and tried to give back what you put out, y’know?”
Shota was shocked to say the least. They had both wasted so much time pining when they could have already been together!
“We wasted so much time…” Shota said, letting his head fall onto Hizashi’s lap.
Hizashi placed a gentle kiss on the top of Shota’s hand. “Nah, I don’t think it was a waste. We got to know each other as friends, didn’t we? Now we can get to know each other as-”
“Boyfriends?” Shota looked into Hizashi’s eyes, realizing what he was trying to say. A small smile made its way onto his face.
“Is that what you want us to be?”
“Yes.” A spark of hope gleamed in Shota’s eyes. How had this played out so perfectly?
Hizashi smiled wide. “Well, good. That’s what I want too.” He pulled Shota close for a long and sweet embrace before pulling back and saying, “Can I try that kiss again? That first one wasn’t my best.”
Shota chuckled, “Yeah.” He paused, kissing Hizashi sweetly. The small rings felt nice against his slightly chapped lips. “You can kiss me all you want with those things.” He flicked at one of them.
Hizashi laughed. “Oh really? You wanna better taste?”
Shota smirked, pulling Hizashi in. They shared a deep kiss, Shota taking Hizashi’s bottom lip between his teeth. He ran his tongue along the piercings, Hizashi opening his mouth just enough to let Shouta slip his tongue in to tease and play against Hizashi’s. Shota pulled back, catching Hizashi’s bottom lip between his teeth before letting go.
“Yeah, you can definitely kiss me all you want with those in.” Hizashi gave Shota a dopey grin.
“Anything for you, boyfriend.” Shota smiled at him, pulling him down to lay against the pillows. He positioned himself practically on top of Hizashi, with one leg in between the blond’s and resting his head on his chest, arms wrapped around Hizashi’s neck. Shota’s nose buried in the crook of it, taking in Hizashi’s scent. It was calming. Comforting. Hizashi pressed play on the movie, and rubbed soft circles onto Shota’s back. The softness of the blond’s favorite childhood movie coupled with his hands softly caressing his back and the soft scent of his now boyfriend, Shota felt happy. He pressed soft kisses to Hizashi’s neck every once in a while, until sleep finally took him over.
He thinks that somehow- maybe he’ll be okay.