Chapter Text
“Sanemi! Where are you?” Tengen shouted, pacing through the Butterfly Mansion, ignoring the strange looks that he got from Shinobu’s girls. “The storm’s gone, it’s time to start training!”
Tengen huffed as he barged into another empty room. Seriously, where was this guy? Usually the Wind Pillar was dragging everyone out the door for training, screaming the entire time. Yet now, he was nowhere to be found.
“Maybe he’s on the grounds already?” Tengen muttered, glancing out the window, only to see Mitsuri, Shinobu, Kyojuro and Muichiro training, but not Sanemi. Tengen winced at the sheer amount of mud and puddles that littered the ground.
So… Unflashy!
The mud was the result of a hurricane level storm that had hit the mansion the day prior. In fact, it was so bad, that even Tengen and the other Pillars staying at the mansion had decided to postpone training and stay inside until the storm died down.
Except for Sanemi.
On one hand, it kind of made sense, Sanemi was the Wind Hashira after all. But on the other… what in the actual hell was the man thinking?
Everyone had tried to talk Sanemi out of the idea. Mitsuri had pleaded, Shinobu had threatened, Kyojuro had insisted and Muichiro had… actually the Mist Hashira had just stared blankly at a wall.
Granted, Tengen was in no place to judge, he hadn’t really done anything either. He knew better than to come between Sanemi’s nichirin blade and some poor wooden dummy.
Contrary to Obanai’s belief, Tengen wasn’t suicidal. And if he was going to die, it was going to be in the most flamboyant way possible. Not because he pissed off the human equivalent of Upper Moon Three.
None of them even knew what Sanemi had done the entire time he was out in the storm, the rain and winds had been too heavy to see anything. For all they knew, the Pillar had just stood in the rain and screamed at the Gods for five hours straight.
Actually, that did sound like something Sanemi would do. Tengen couldn’t decide if that was flashy or not.
And now he was missing. Logically, there were two things that could have happened. One, Sanemi was missing training for one reason or another, or two, he was dead. The second option seemed infinitely more likely than the first.
Sanemi would rather turn into a demon than miss the chance to beat up some less experienced members of the Corp.
So where was the unflashy idiot? He had practically searched the entire mansion, except for the sleeping quarters and the… basement . Yeah, no, Tengen was not going down there, and he doubted Sanemi was down there either.
So that left the sleeping quarters. After that, it was time to figure out who had murdered Sanemi and hidden his body. Tengen was placing his bets on Shinobu, it seems like something that she would do.
That and no one else was a proper suspect. Kyojuro and Mitsuri were too wholesome, and Muichiro probably would forget what he was doing halfway through the act and leave Sanemi’s body in the kitchen.
Tengen marched up the stairs, ignoring the way that the wood creaked under his feet. He wanted to go outside and be flamboyant, dammit! Why couldn’t Mitsuri have done this?
“Sanemi!” Tengen yelled as he marched down the row of shoji, making his way to the tiny room that the Wind Hashira had aggressively claimed for himself. “Where are you?”
He was absolutely certain that Sanemi was not up there, and the lack of a snarky response solidified that certainty.
“Oh Sanemi!” Tengen called mockingly, grabbing the edge of the shoji. “I’m going in your room! You’d better come out and stop me!”
With that, he dramatically threw the doors open, marching into the room. It was a tiny space, more of an attic than anything else, with bare wooden walls and a single, tiny window that lit up the room. Tengen wasn’t even sure why Sanemi had chosen this dank room, there were much nicer, flashier choices available.
He glanced around the room, taking note of the small journal lying on a nearby shelf, the bulky leather bag resting next to the shoji, and the sheathed nichirin blade that had been laid almost lovingly on a folded white cloth.
Then Tengen’s gaze landed on the futon on the floor. Or rather, the person lying on the futon. “Oh shit.” Tengen whispered, stumbling back.
Because Sanemi was lying in the bed, curled up under a thin, silver blanket. And Tengen was dead, so very dead in every sense of the word.
Hopefully Sanemi would make it a very flashy death. It was certain to be a very gruesome one, considering the fact that Tengen had broken two very important rules.
One, unless an Upper Moon is attacking at this very moment, no one is to barge in on Sanemi while he is sleeping.
Two, even if the Demon Lord himself appeared, absolutely no one, with the occasional exception of Gyomei, was to enter Sanemi’s room without permission.
So Tengen was screwed, so very very screwed. The fact that Sanemi hadn’t leapt up and beheaded Tengen with the same spite fuelled determination that Sanemi beheaded demons with was an actual miracle.
In fact, it gave Tengen enough time for questions to start running through his head. Why was Sanemi still asleep? Sure, none of them had sleep schedules, let alone healthy ones, but when it came to training, Sanemi was an early bird, in fact the only Hashira to wake up before him was Kyojuro.
And that was because Kyojuro didn’t sleep.
Also, why wasn’t Tengen dead yet? Sanemi hadn’t moved, he was still curled up on the futon, breathing softly. Was he actually still asleep? Or silently scheming to murder Tengen?
Sanemi couldn’t still be asleep after all of that. All Demon Slayers were light sleepers, they had to be, given their job. And Tengen hadn’t even tried to be quiet when he had barged into Sanemi’s room.
Tengen sighed, and then slowly crept forward, ready to bolt at any moment. He wouldn’t get far, but maybe he would have enough time to write one last letter to his wives.
Finally he was face to face with Sanemi and… he was actually still asleep? Tengen was ready to be greeted by two furious purple eyes and a familiar scowl, but what greeted him was stranger, and somewhat more concerning.
Sanemi’s expression was scrunched up in a grimace, and his skin was unusually pale and covered in sweat. Tengen wrinkled his nose, how unflashy. And gross. Was something wrong with him?
He’d figure it out in a minute, after all, he should probably wake Sanemi up.
Tengen raised his hand, and hesitated. Was he really going to do this? Was he really going to risk losing an arm for something so trivial?
Yes. Yes he was.
“Sanemi.” Tengen whispered, carefully poking the Wind Hashira’s forehead. “Sanemi, wake up.”
There was no reaction except for a soft groan and Sanemi shifting in his sleep. Well that didn’t work. Time for plan S, for suicide.
Tengen grabbed the side of Sanemi’s head, and screamed as loudly as he could directly in the Wind Pillar’s ear.
“WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD!”
And he was immediately met with a fist to the face. Tengen staggered out of the room, clutching his almost certainly broken nose. Well that was something.
“What. The fuck?” Sanemi hissed, glaring daggers at Tengen. “Why in the everloving hell, did you do that?”
Tengen grinned sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. “You wouldn’t wake up, so…”
Sanemi snarled, staggering, (Staggering?), onto his feet, before launching himself at Tengen, screeching curses. Tengen dodged the attack easily, too easily.
Something was wrong here. Between Sanemi sleeping in, somehow ignoring all of Tengen’s shouting, and being so much slower and clumsier than usual, it just wasn’t normal. Sure, Sanemi had just woken up, but Hashiras were supposed to be able to wake up and immediately be ready for a fight.
And Sanemi was always ready for a fight. Even when he really shouldn’t be.
Like in the middle of a school. Or that one time his brother won a competition. Or in the middle of a funeral. And then there was that one time Sanemi tried to fight a priest. That was an experience.
“Are you okay?” Tengen asked, tilting his head, trying to ignore how blood streamed down his cheek. It wasn’t a big deal, he’d just have one of the girls fix it.
“Oh, I’m just fine and dandy!” Sanemi spat, slamming a hand against the wooden wall. “Why the fuck did you wake me up anyways?”
Tengen chuckled nervously, gesturing at the window with his free hand. “Well, I mean. Training started almost an hour ago and you never showed up, so I went to look for you.”
“What?” Sanemi hissed, limping over to the window. “How in the everloving fuck-”
Tengen shrugged, watching the Wind Hashira stumble around cursing, ripping his uniform out of a nearby dresser and grabbing for his sword. It wasn’t until Sanemi was actually trying to get his uniform on, that he realized that Tengen was still there.
“Get out!” Sanemi screeched, swiping at Tengen. Once again, Tengen dodged easily, too easily, and practically ran out of the room, listening to Sanemi slam the shoji behind him.
“Well that went well.” Tengen muttered, still clutching his crooked nose. He really needed to fix that, especially before one of his wives noticed. That would be so embarrassing. And unflashy.
Tengen grabbed his nose and yanked it back into place, wincing at the pain and the loud pop that accompanied the motion. He could vaguely hear Sanemi cursing, screeching and generally making way too much noise.
He sighed, closing his eyes. Three, two, one..
“What is going on up here!” There it is. Tengen opened his eyes to see one of Shinobu’s girls and her tsuguko standing at the top of the stairwell.
Tengen shrugged, gesturing at Sanemi’s door. The girl, (What was her name again? Ai? Allie? It started with an A, that’s all he knew), huffed angrily, glaring at Tengen as if this was somehow his fault!
It was still better than the look that Shinobu’s tsuguko was giving him. That blank, empty stare seemed to pierce right into his soul.
Tengen couldn’t explain why that look scared him so much. And he wasn’t going to try.
The girl, whose name Tengen still couldn’t remember, grumbled, marching over to Sanemi’s room, banging a hand against the Shoji. “Shinazugawa-sama! You need to stop making such a racket, our patients are trying to rest and recover!”
“Fuck you, you butterfly bitches!” Sanemi screeched. “You didn’t wake me up for training, so I’m making it your problem!”
Tengen restrained himself from mentioning the sacred two rules, and the fact that Sanemi would’ve gutted any poor souls who tried to wake him up. Instead he glanced at the butterfly girls, and oh Gods, Kanao narrowed her eyes. They were all going to die.
And then, to Tengen’s horror, the tsuguko turned to him. “Uhh, can I help you?”
The girl paused, and then pulled out a coin. Tengen watched in fascinated terror as Kanao flipped the coin in the air, caught it, and then placed the coin on her wrist, staring at the result.
And then she was off, daintily making her way down the stairs. Tengen watched her leave, hit with two choices. Follow her, or stay here and wait for Sanemi.
Another unflashy screech from Sanemi’s room, and Tengen is right on Kanao’s heels, trying not to shudder at how the tsuguko’s hand wandered to the hilt of her nichirin sword every time The Wind Hahsira shrieked or let out a particularly creative curse.
Sanemi was a dead man, that was for sure.
It wasn’t long before the two of them were outside, in the warm morning sun. Tengen winced at the mud and dirt that clung to his boots, this was so not flamboyant . Hopefully it wouldn’t get on his face.
“Miss Shinobu!” Kanao called. Tengen jumped, he didn’t know that the girl could talk! Why didn’t she speak to him then?
Shinobu turned to them, eyes narrowed ever so slightly. It reminded Tengen of a curled up snake. Not necessarily about to attack, but dangerous nonetheless.
“Yes, Kanao.” Shinobu replied, turning her lilac gaze to Tengen. “Has our friend here been causing trouble?”
Tengen let out an offended noise, what was it with people and assuming that everything was somehow his fault? Why didn’t anyone blame Sanemi for a change? Or Obanai? Not Rengoku though, he was too pure to be blamed for anything.
Even if the little shit stole Tengen’s food for the twentieth time, it was fine. That smile could single handedly end wars.
“No.” Kanao said softly, tilting her head towards Tengen. “It seems that Shinazugawa-sama is causing quite the racket. He yelled at Aoi when she tried to calm him down, and has been shouting ever since.”
“I see.” Shinobu’s voice sharpened, and Tengen unwillingly took a step back. An angry Shinobu was to be feared, he had learned that the hard way. “I guess that i will have to go and talk to him myself.”
“Wait.” The word slipped out of Tengen’s mouth, and the Sound Hashira found himself regretting all of his life decisions as Shinobu turned to him.
His mind raced, trying to figure out exactly what he was going to say. “I think Sanemi’s sick.”
“Sick?” Shinobu echoed, tilting her head. “What makes you say that?”
“He was still sleeping when I went to go find him. Hell, I had to scream in his ear, he broke my nose for that!” Tengen jabbed a finger at his still bloody nose.
That got Shinobu’s attention.
“Hm, well I’ll take a look at him when he gets here.” Shinobu replied softly, glancing at the mansion. “I’ll need to speak to him about the noise level anyways.”
“Yes, you do that.” Tengen gave her a thumbs up before practically sprinting in the opposite direction. He was not about to be around when shit inevitably hit the fan.
“Tengen!” Kyojuro called, waving a hand. “Took you long enough!”
“I was dragging Sanemi’s lazy ass out of bed!” Tengen called back, trying to wipe the remaining traces of blood off of his face.
“Oh!” Mitsuri gasped, placing a hand over her mouth. “What happened to your face?”
“I… may or may not have screamed directly into Sanemi’s ear, while he was asleep.” Tengen muttered, doing his best to look embarrassed.
Muichiro glanced up at Tengen, looking at him with the usual blank stare.
“You what!?”
And that was how training started for Tengen, after he had finally gotten Mitsuri to stop screaming, and had allowed Kyojuro to wipe the blood off of his cheek.
Training was actually kind of peaceful, as peaceful as things could be with Tengen throwing explosives and firecrackers left and right.
Good times.
That was until the screaming started. Tengen turned to see Sanemi locked in a heated debate with Shinobu.
“Oh look!” Kyojuro exclaimed. “Sanemi’s finally here!”
“Yes.” Tengen sighed, momentarily considering chopping his own head off. Because this was going to be painful.
“Umm,” Mitsuri piped up. “Is it just me, or does he look a little strange?” She wasn’t wrong, even from several meters away, Sanemi looked like shit.
He was slightly hunched over, his face was badly flushed and Tengen could see his fellow Pillar trembling. So yeah, not good.
“Yeah, I think he’s sick.” Tengen replied, watching Sanemi scream at Shinobu, who was clearly not backing down
“Sick!” Kyojuro exclaimed, tilting his head at the scene in front of them. “Then why isn’t he in one of the medical beds?”
“Because it’s Sanemi.” Muichiro said, surprising the other three Hashira.
“He speaks!” Tengen stage whispered to Mitsuri, who giggled. Muichiro gazed at them blankly, clearly not getting the joke.
“For the last time!” Sanemi shrieked, drawing Tengen’s attention back to the fight. “I don’t know what that annoying asshole told you, but I’m fine! Now fuck off!”
And with that, the Wind Hashira was off, marching to the bamboo poles that they used for balance. Tengen winced as it took three tries for Sanemi to simply get onto one of the poles.
“So what’s the verdict doc?” Tengen called to Shinobu, who was walking towards them with a pinched expression.
“The verdict is that our dear friend Sanemi is a stubborn idiot.” Shinobu hissed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “I keep telling him that he must have gotten a cold from being out in a hurricane, but he won’t listen to me!”
“Oh no!” Mitsuri gasped. “What are we going to do?”
Shinobu glanced at Sanemi who was clearly struggling to perform a basic balancing exercise. “I’m not sure, but we need to act fast. I don’t want the sickness to get worse.”
“I don’t think that this can get any worse.” Tengen commented, watching as Sanemi finally lost his balance, and crashed onto the muddy ground in a tangle of limbs and curses.
“Trust me, it can.”
“And how do you know that?”
“You don’t want to know.” Shinobu whispered, staring into the distance. And you know what, Tengen agreed with her.
“So! What’s the plan?” Kyojuro asked, eyes wide in concern and confusion. “Should we get him in a medical bed?”
“Good luck.” Tengen snorted. “He’ll bite your head off if you suggest it.”
“Exactly!” Shinobu piped up, a smile on her face. A particularly ominous smile, to be specific. Oh Gods, Tengen did not like where this was going.
“And that’s why we’re going to make him take a day off. One way or another.”