Work Text:
It is said that there are five love languages. Five different ways to convey and express your love: Words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts and physical touch.
Felix' love language was physical touch. He had always loved skinship. He loved cuddles and hugs and holding hands. If a person was precious to him, instead of using words, he tried to be as close to them as they let him. It was his way of showing his love and support. And Felix loved his members.
He'd let his finger wander over Changbin's back and arms in comfort whenever the others were teasing him. He cuddled up to Seungmin when he was alone in his room writing his diary. He embraced Chan and listened to his concerns when he had trouble sleeping. He caught Jeongin in his arms when he was running away from the others, smothering him with love. He gave Jisung a back hug whenever he saw the chance, feeling his back broaden with every passing year. He rested his head on Minho's shoulder while he worked in the kitchen, quietly observing what he was doing. He ran into Hyunjin's arms whenever there was something to celebrate.
And the cuddles and small touches had been enough for him to show how much he loved them. Until it wasn't anymore.
It all started when Jisung and Minho's period of obnoxious flirting and pining ended with them finally confessing.
And Felix was happy for them. Felix loved love, and seeing his two members being head over heels madly in love and happy, made him happy. It was as simple as that.
And then one night he walked into the living space, unaware of what he was about to witness.
The lights were out in the room, the TV being the only light source. It took Felix only a few seconds to recognize who was watching in the dark, illuminated by the TV's brightness. The animation style was a dead give away. Felix wasn't sure how much Jisung and Minho were actually paying attention with their tongues down each other's throat. Jisung was cradling Minho's face in his hands, guiding him closer to his face, pulling him back in again and again. Minho had one of his hands grabbing onto Jisung's shirt while the other was below it exploring whatever he could get his hands on. The kissing was strangely soft, not really what he had expected of them.
Felix stood frozen in the door frame, watching them make out, and for some reason he couldn't look away. They seemed to be in their own world, not even realizing that Felix was in the room, his eyes fixated on them. Their shadows had long become one, their bodies inseparable. He didn't know for how long he had been staring when someone called out his name. Felix jumped and turned around, standing face to face with Hyunjin, who looked at him with a puzzled frown.
---
It wasn't until he fell into his bed, staring at the ceiling, that he realized that witnessing two of the members kiss had stirred something in him. He remembered how Jisung had held Minho in his hands, like he was the most precious thing in the world and how Minho had melted under his touch, how their lips had molded together. And Felix couldn't help but wonder if he held someone like that, touched someone like that, would they be able to feel how precious that someone was to him, how much he loved them? And wasn't that what he wanted? To make the members feel how much he loved them? Seeing this different form of affection, made him wonder if his normal acts of physical touch were enough to convey the strength of his feelings that he harbored for them. Did they really understand just how much he loved them?
The next morning, he sleepily rested his head on Jeongin's shoulder and closed his eyes. It had taken him a while to fall asleep, with his thoughts running wild and his body tensed up all night. They had a schedule at noon and sleeping in wasn't an option. Jeongin was so warm and comfortable.
He heard Jeongin whine that he should use someone else as his pillow. But Felix was persistent, wanting him to know that he liked being close to Jeongin, that he deserved the love he was given. So he wound his arms around Jeongin's hips and pulled him closer. That Jeongin only struggled for a few seconds against Felix' hold and then gave up, was further proof to him that he secretly enjoyed Felix' closeness.
His head rested on Jeongin's chest for several minutes. Felix was waiting for that feeling of satisfaction to settle in, that he usually got from being close to his members. However, it didn't come. He felt like he wasn't showing enough of what it meant to him that Jeongin let him cuddle like this. That he wasn't showing how Jeongin meant the world to him, that Jeongin was someone he treasured a lot. He couldn't relax. He had to do something.
The image of Jisung kissing and holding Minho came into his mind. It had been the perfect act to deliver a message of love.
Felix sighed. He couldn't just do that. So instead, he buried his head deeper into Jeongin's shoulder, holding him a bit closer.
"So clingy," he heard Jeongin's fond chuckle above him.
---
It was only a few days later when it happened. It was late in the evening, they had just come back from a late schedule, and Felix was ready to go to sleep. He just had to wash up beforehand. Being as tired as he was, he had let the others go first, hoping to gather a little bit of energy before heaving himself into the shower.
Jisung was the last one in the shower. When he emerged from the bathroom, Felix was barely awake, and Jisung had to shake him back into consciousness. Felix groaned, but then pulled himself up. Jisung was about to leave towards Minho's room when Felix clung onto his bare back. He smelled good. Clean and flowery. Water was dripping from his hair onto his shoulder, and Felix leaned his forehead onto the wet spot, closing his eyes. And before he even realized what he was doing - he unconsciously must have been craving it - he planted kisses all over Jisung's shoulder blades. He let his lips softly trail over the smooth skin, and a feeling of content settled in. It wasn't until Jisung whispered "cute" that he realized what he was doing.
He immediately pulled back, now fully awake. What was he thinking, kissing someone's boyfriend?
He apologized profusely and before Jisung could answer, he ran into the bathroom, hiding behind the closed door.
"Yongbok?" A knock on the door. Felix' face was burning up. God, this was embarrassing.
Felix turned on the shower, hoping to drown out all other thoughts and sounds with the rush of water. He didn't want to hear what Jisung had to say. Not right now.
He undressed and cowered under the stream, letting the water wash away his embarrassment. It was only after several minutes, that he got up again and started his shower routine. Rubbing away all the sweat and filth of the day was calming him down. When he eventually turned off the water, at least half an hour must have passed. Felix hoped that Jisung had left for bed already, and he could slip away into his room without being noticed. He listened in for a bit before he opened the door, ready to scurry into his room. But he had no such luck.
Jisung was sitting on the spot on the couch where Felix nearly had passed out before. He immediately got up when he heard the door to the bathroom open. Felix sighed internally. He watched Jisung wave him over, now dressed in one of Minho's shirts and a pair of boxers.
"Hey, Lix. Come here." Felix reluctantly followed the request. He was tired, but maybe it was a good thing to get this out of their way now. Better now than later.
Jisung took his arms and pulled him closer as soon as he came within reach.
"Don't worry about it, Lix," he told him. "I don't mind, and Minho doesn't mind as well. We know that you love skinship. It's all okay."
Felix nodded. Not sure if he should believe him. Had he talked with Minho in the meantime? If he did, what must Minho think of him? How embarrassing.
He enjoyed the closeness of a beloved person for a few more minutes until he pulled away and rushed into his own room, hiding his face in his pillow. What had he been thinking? He hadn't and that was the problem.
---
The next morning, Minho approached him. Felix tried to run when he realized what was about to happen. Not again. He thought his talk with Jisung about the accidental kisses was settled and was now a 'let's never talk about it again' situation. But it never was with these two, was it? And, Felix was holding a full cup of coffee where every hectic move would end up with him spilling the scalding hot brew on his fingers and floor. Escape was not an option. So he had no other choice but to endure the upcoming embarrassment.
"Morning," he greeted him harmlessly enough. Felix mumbled the greeting back. There was no sight of Seungmin or Jeongin and Jisung was probably still asleep. At least that was a good thing. No need to let more people know about what had occurred yesterday.
"Jisung told me what happened." There was a teasing smirk on his lips. Felix sighed, wishing he could hide somewhere, or at least cover his face, "He's right. I don't mind. You can give me kisses too."
Minho puckered his lip and tapped them with his finger as if asking for a kiss. It was a joke. Minho could only mean it as a joke, right? But knowing it was a joke didn't help him fight down the heat that was settling on his cheeks.
"Cool," he mumbled as an answer. He just wanted this to be over and done with.
Minho stopped the teasing at his lackluster response. His smile fell and his expression got more serious.
"Seriously, we don't mind. We all love you. And we know you love us too. You don't need to hold back with us."
He gave Felix two pats on the head and as he passed by Felix to enter the kitchen, he gave Felix' top hair a short soft kiss. Ohh, and how his heart jumped at that.
---
Against Minho's advice, he held himself back. He tried not to be too obvious. He made sure he was still physically affectionate with the members, however, he pushed down all thoughts of kissing. Or at least tried to, but his longing and curiosity wouldn't leave him alone.
Earlier that day in the waiting room, Jisung had once again brought up the infamous kiss that Jeongin had apparently given to him, that he still outwardly denied to ever have happened. And today had not been different. Jisung had boasted in full volume how he had gotten a kiss from Jeongin and Jeongin was even louder and denied all accusations.
They were back in their dorms. Or at least Jeongin and Felix were. Seungmin had decided to do some nightly vocal practice and would probably only return at around 4 am. He easily lost track of time. Minho was off to who knows where, maybe meeting up with his PT. Jeongin was brushing his teeth and Felix was preparing for a night of gaming when he walked by the bathroom. He hesitated for a moment before he spoke. Jeongin caught his gaze and tilted his head in curiosity.
"Did Jisung give you a kiss?"
"No!" His defenses were immediately up.
"You said, you don't remember," Felix recalled. Somehow, he needed to know.
"That’s right! I don't." He spit out the toothpaste and washed his toothbrush. Then he turned towards Felix.
"You don't, or you don't want to?"
Jeongin squinted his eyes in suspicion.
"Come on, Innie, tell me! It stays between us. I swear." He pulled out his sad kitten eyes, knowing what kind of effect they had. He was nothing but persistent.
"Ugh," Jeongin looked away, and Felix knew he won. "Maybe I did. But it was just a peck on the cheek. I was a naive kid, and it lasted under a second!" Jeongin pouted and there was a tiny dust of red on his cheeks. Adorable. Too adorable. Felix wanted to smother him with kisses. And before he could hold his tongue, he opened his mouth.
"Can I give you a kiss?"
Jeongin screeched. "No!?"
But Felix could hear the waver in his voice. He could get a glimpse of how his face turned red before he sprinted towards his room. But Felix had seen his escape coming and before Jeongin knew it, he was trapped in a back hug.
"Just a peck on the cheek," he said. "Please."
Jeongin struggled a bit more in his hold, but melted into his arms just a few seconds later.
"Fine, but I swear if you tell anyone, I have a bunch of very embarrassing pictures of you that might find their way into the group chat."
"Deal. Now come here."
Jeongin turned around in his hold, but couldn't bring himself to look Felix in the eyes. Felix carefully took his head into his hands. As he looked at his face closely, his eyes fell on his dimple, and Felix found his target. He pulled Jeongin's face closer until his lips touched the cute dent in his cheeks.
Felix had expected for him to screech again, but Jeongin was still and only pulled away his face hesitantly. Maybe Jeongin had liked it. That made his heart flutter a bit.
"Was that so bad?"
Jeongin stayed silent, but a light blush appeared on his freshly cleaned face. He took that as a no. If Jeongin didn't mind, maybe the other members wouldn't mind that much either.
---
From then on, Felix asked the other members if it was okay if he gave them cheek kisses and to his surprise, no one was against it. They had actually seemed quite enthusiastic about it and found it very cute of him. To quote Jisung: "You are really too cute these days, Lix."
Minho even went and told him to give him a real kiss. Felix declined, too shy, and sure Minho was still just joking. Instead, he gave him a soft peck on the cheek, which to Felix' surprise, Minho returned. Felix felt his whole face heat up. Somewhere in the room, he heard a laugh that sounded too much like Jisung. Embarrassed, Felix ran out of the room, passing the person who turned out to be indeed Jisung.
"So cute!!" Jisung called after him. Felix hid in his room.
He thought now that he declined Minho's offer, it would not be brought up again, which he didn't know if he felt relieved or sad about. However, after practice, when the other members had left, only Minho and Jisung remained. Jisung had pulled Felix onto his lap and buried his head in his neck. From time to time he gave him soft ticklish kisses behind his ear that made him squirm in his hold.
Felix was glad to know that he was not the only one who craved to kiss the members, and he enjoyed the attention Jisung was giving him back.
Minho watched them with a small smile while doing some extra stretches. When he finished, he shook out his arms and walked over to them. Minho came to stop right in front of them and grinned down. Felix wondered what was going through his head as he was watching his boyfriend and the overly affectionate member cuddle and share kisses. Whatever it was, it led him to bend down to him. Maybe he also wanted to take part. Felix remembered his offer from two weeks ago. Maybe…? His face came closer and Felix, feeling shy, closed his eyes.
But nothing happened. Confused, he opened his eyes and Minho was there. Right next to his face, but instead of giving him a kiss as he had expected, he was kissing Jisung (obviously). Right next to Felix' face. Just above his shoulder.
Embarrassed, Felix turned away. His whole face was heating up rapidly, and he closed his eyes again. What an idiot he was. Of course, Minho was going to kiss his boyfriend, not him. Why would he even think…?
Minho pulled back, and his eyes immediately fell on Felix. Oh god, he had caught Felix closing his eyes, and Minho's knowing smirk told him everything he needed to know. Felix wished to turn invisible this very moment.
"I think someone was expecting something else," Jisung teased.
Felix now understood why Minho sometimes stuffed tissues into Hyunjin's mouth. Oh, what he would give to shut Jisung up, as if this wasn't embarrassing enough already.
"Oh?" Minho's sound of surprise was playful. He knew exactly what was going on. "Do you perhaps also want a kiss?"
The protesting 'No' was already on his tongue, but somehow it didn't make it past his lips. Jisung giggled.
"If you want one, you have to get it yourself. I give you permission."
"You also have mine," Jisung chimed in.
How did he get caught up in this, Felix wondered. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to. Everything in him screamed to close the distance, and he had the permission from both of them. But what if they weren't serious? Guess there was no other way to find out than actually do it.
Felix cupped Minho's face with both hands and then pulled him close. Their lips touched. The touch was gentle and soft. And Felix only let himself enjoy the feeling of Minho’s proximity for a second, then he pushed him away again. It had been nothing more than a short peck.
Felix hesitantly looked at Minho trying to read his expression. His ears were a tad red, and Minho looked rather stunned.
Oh god, that couldn't mean anything good. But before he could regret his action, Minho spoke up.
"Oh, I thought you were gonna kiss my cheek again, but this works too!" A smile spread across Minho's face. "Good job, Felix."
Felix wasn't sure what that praise was for. He had misread the situation. But apparently it wasn't that bad?
"Can I also get one?" Felix tried to turn his head to look at Jisung, but it was impossible in this position. He loosened Jisung's grip around his waist and instead turned his whole body facing towards Jisung. This was a lot more intimate, Felix realized. He was literally straddling him. His lips were puckered, waiting for Felix to kiss them. And before he could overthink this, he grabbed Jisung's round cheeks and gave him a fast, maybe a bit too energetic peck on the lips. And then he sped away.
"You're so cute, Lix. Give me more kisses soon," he heard Jisung shout as he left the practice room.
---
With time, Felix’ shyness with kissing subsided. While the kisses on the cheeks had come pretty natural to him, there had still been some hesitation in him when he asked the other members for pecks on the mouth for the first time. The new form of intimacy might not be for everyone. However, the reactions of the members were all positive and it helped him feel more confident with every time their lips touched. They even came to him to ask for kisses on the mouth themselves when they felt Felix’ hesitation. Jeongin still only allowed them when they were alone, but he came to anticipate them and even pouted when he wanted more kisses. And if that wasn’t the ultimate confidence boost.
The most confident he felt with Chan. Chan always became a blushing, giggling mess whenever Felix showered him with kisses. And Felix was always thankful for Chan, which would make him the person he would love to kiss the most, but Chan was often busy.
Like today. Felix was on his way back to the dorm when he passed Chan's studio. It was about to hit midnight and Chan was probably going to be here for most of the night. Felix might not be able to convince Chan to come home, but he at least could provide him with some sort of motivation.
He opened the door and peaked in. Chan sat in front of his laptop connected to the big screen. His ears were covered with headphones. Felix tried to make enough noise while entering to not startle Chan. But either he was too focused on his work or really didn't hear anything. So when he eventually stood next to Chan and touched his shoulder, he was still taken by surprise.
“Oh, it’s you,” he greeted Felix and put down his headphones, “Is something up?”
Felix shook his head, making sure that Chan knew he wasn’t here to put even more burden onto his shoulders.
“I just wanted to see you before I go back. Do you still have a lot to do?”
“Yeah, there are still at least two tracks left I have to look over and one song that I want to perfect. So it’s gonna be a long night again. But I’ll try to be home by 4 am.”
Felix internally sighed. Chan was working way too hard and Felix wished he could just drag him along with him, but he knew Chan would just continue working at home instead of at the company. At least there was no early schedule tomorrow and, so he hoped Chan could at least get a good rest when he did come home.
“Promise me to leave the studio at 4am at the latest.” Chan hesitated. He was someone who always took promises seriously and did everything to keep these promises, which Felix thought was a very admirable trait. But also one Felix sometimes tried to make use of, for situations like these.
“I don’t think I can make that promise. But I’ll try, okay?”
Well, better than nothing.
“Good.” Felix placed a kiss on his cheek, and it had been his plan to leave it at that and go home. But then Chan let out his characteristically adorable giggle when he was flustered. Where he closed his eyes and pulled his body limbs into himself. And he just had to kiss him again. His ears turned red, and Felix could feel his own face flush. The facial heat was accompanied by a warm feeling in his chest. He turned the chair that Chan was sitting on to get a better view of him. His curly hair fell onto his forehead, it was not long enough yet that he could hide behind them no matter how much he lowered his head. Felix leaned down again to give him another kiss, but this time on the lips. He could feel his chapped lips only for a second, and he craved for more. However, Chan had curled even more into himself, and it was hard to reach for his lips.
“Come on, Chan, let me kiss you. You are working so hard for us, you are always looking out for us. You deserve to be kissed and loved.” Felix put his hands on his knees and gently pressed them down, making sure that if Chan really didn’t want to, he could always push against him. But Chan was pliant and let Felix make space for himself on Chan’s lap.
It was as he sat down on Chan’s lap and looked down on him, that Felix realized he wanted to give Chan a proper kiss. Chan looked up at him with wonder in his eyes on why Felix hadn’t already started peppering his whole face with kisses, like he usually did. Felix raised his hand from his shoulders to Chan’s face, stroking his fingers along his jawline. Then he leaned closer and their lips were touching. At first Felix did just let his lips rest against Chan’s waiting to see if Chan would push him away if he stayed.
Chan did seem surprised, he even pulled away but not more than a centimeter only to come back the same second. It was signal enough for Felix that it was fine, and he started moving his lips against Chan’s, getting a feel for the mixture of their chapped surface and pillowy texture. Felix’ hands moved from his jaw to the back of his head, curling his finger into the hair strands at his neck. The kiss was slow, just lips meeting again and again until Felix found the courage to even nip on Chan’s lower lip, which made him emit a cute sound that he wanted to hear again. For a second he even thought of adding his tongue, but that would maybe be too much right now, so instead he just let himself be satisfied by feeling Chan’s lips against his. That already was addicting in itself.
Felix could feel Chan's grip on his hips. It was nice being held like this. His hands were warm and comforting, and when he pulled back for air, he was glad Chan didn’t let go of him. Their faces were still so close and Felix could make out the minute details of his skin, their breaths still mingling. There was a blush spreading from his cheeks to his ears and Felix sensed the heat of his chest under his fingers.
Chan seemed to have liked the kiss a lot. And Felix couldn’t help the satisfied grin that appeared on his lips. He leaned back to get a better look at their leader. The space seemed to pull Chan out of his daze and he let go of Felix, his hands instead wandering to the back of his own head, looking everywhere but at Felix.
“Yeah. That was, well,” he stuttered, and Felix laughed. Oh, how he loved to see Chan flustered, especially if it was because of him. Felix gave him another peck and then got up from his lap.
“Great! I’ll be going then. Come home soon.” And with that, Felix strode out of the room confidently. Only when the door closed behind him did he switch to walking down the hallway with a spring in his step, grinning wildly to himself, a fluttering feeling in his chest.
---
Felix loved kissing. Kissing was great. It was so great that he kept finding excuses why he should be kissing his members. Jisung bought him a drink at the music broadcast station? Thank you kisses. Hyunjin let him cuddle for a whole five minutes? Time for kissing. Changbin was improving his English? Well done kiss. Jeongin lent him shoes? Let me give you a kiss in return. Chan came home earlier than he had planned? Welcome home kiss. Seungmin listened to his worries and struggles? Kisses of appreciation. Minho slapped his butt? I’ll kiss you in revenge.
Felix thought he was living his best life right now. When he had seen Minho and Jisung kiss, he hadn't known how much he wanted that too, but now he couldn't imagine going back to just holding hands and hugs. Kissing the member came naturally to him now. He felt happy. Like he had everything he needed. Like he could finally express his love for his members and how much they meant to him.
He was satisfied, or at least, so he thought, but apparently there was still some curiosity left in his body. He found this out a week later.
Felix and Seungmin had settled in the living space to battle out who would pay for the food they ordered. Usually Felix would immediately offer to pay, but he wanted to play and hang out with Seungmin. So, he took things into his own hands and challenged him to a round of Mario Kart.
However, playing with Seungmin always ended up in a lot of yelling from Felix' side. Seungmin kept getting the good items and specifically targeted Felix, not caring about any of the NPCs. When Seungmin once again threw a red shell just as Felix jumped across a gap, he decided he had enough.
"Stop that!" Felix whined and tried to grab Seungmin's controller, but Seungmin easily avoided his attack and cackled loudly. Felix realized he wouldn't win anyway, so the least he could do was sabotage Seungmin as much as possible. And what better way to sabotage but by being a distracting menace.
So when he was finally put back on track, he let himself fall against Seungmin's shoulder, presumably a very innocent gesture. But instead of focusing on his own game, he turned his head and placed a wet kiss against his neck. Seungmin shrieked in surprise, and from the corner of his eyes he could see how Seungmin's character fell from the track into nothingness. But he couldn't let himself get distracted by that. So he grabbed for Seungmin's controller and was met with little resistance as Seungmin was busy wiping the spit off his neck in disgust. He pulled the controller out of his hand and placed it behind him, the game now forgotten, and planted himself directly onto Seungmin's lap. Felix couldn't stop the victorious grin that made its way onto his lips.
"What are you doing?" Seungmin warily asked, trying to still somehow peek around Felix' body to see what was going on, on the screen. Felix saw what he was trying to attempt and interfered by placing his hands on both sides of Seungmin's head and forced him to look at him. To make it even more fun, Felix rested his forehead against Seungmin's. The space between them was minimal.
"Distracting you," Felix hummed in a low voice.
"I see."
Their breaths became one and the tension was rising as no one moved. Seungmin's eyes kept flitting down to Felix' lips. He grinned. He had Seungmin right where he wanted him. Felix leaned in a bit, but still not closing the distance. On instinct, Seungmin closed his eyes. Felix had wanted to make this last a bit, maybe make Seungmin squirm, like Hyunjin did when he wanted kisses or Changbin who got whiny when he was denied the affection he wanted. But this was Seungmin. He didn't beg, he didn't whine. Oh no, Seungmin immediately opened his eyes when the kiss didn't come and gave him a stern look. And instead of waiting for Felix to close the distance, Seungmin captured Felix' head between his and pulled him into the kiss.
The kiss started out innocent enough. Their lips met as light touches. Seungmin was talented at giving people that particular floaty, light-headed feeling. Soft, but intense touches that made Felix’ heart want to jump out of his chest every time their lips reconnected. Seungmin's hands were placed on Felix' neck, caging it in, reminding him that Felix was at his mercy. Felix had wanted to play, dominate just a little bit. It had been his plan to distract him after all. Tease him a little, get revenge for Seungmin playing dirty, but now here he was, falling into Seungmin's hold, getting swept away by his kisses. Any thought of taking control vanished. Felix let Seungmin handle him how he liked it. How Felix liked it too. It was instinctive, how his lips fell apart, a desire buried deep within that had only appeared for a second when he had kissed Chan, now resurfacing as a craving. His tongue licked along Seungmin's lower lips, a nonverbal question. And Seungmin understood. He deepened the kiss first, letting his tongue slide into Felix' mouth. Felix felt warm all over, slightly dizzy and yet not close enough. He pulled Seungmin's head closer, his own tongue crossing over Seungmin's already wet lips.
He didn't know how long they had been kissing like that. The game music happily droned on in the background in an unending loop. But Felix was running short of breath. He pulled back with a gasp. He was feeling out of it, not yet coming back to a reality that wasn't just Seungmin's hands, lips and tongue; their breaths combined.
He looked back at Seungmin when he shifted under Felix, and he was met with a mischievous grin. It was then that he realized that his plan had backfired. Instead of distracting Seungmin and getting a win in, Seungmin had kissed him with such intensity that he had completely forgotten about his own tactics and he had gotten the upper hand. Felix turned around in Seungmin's lap at the sound of an engine increasing, only to witness Seungmin's character getting back on track. Felix scrambled for his own controller, but when he finally got going, Seungmin had already passed the finish line and Felix' cart came to halt. How frustrating.
---
It was like biting into a forbidden fruit. Kissing had been a nice way to express his love and appreciation. A fun and loving activity. But now it also became a desire. A desire that told him to entwine their bodies, to close the distance between him and his beloved members as much as possible. He loved to be on the receiving end of feeling desired and loved. Felix had always been a giver, never needing anything in return. Others accepting his help and love was enough for him to know how much he was appreciated. And it still was, and it would probably forever be. But being at the receiving end, to know how much the members also enjoyed and anticipated his love, his kisses, his touch made his head spin.
Hyunjin and Felix had been watching a movie. Just the two of them in the dark room. Hyunjin had turned on his fairy lights, illuminating the room in a dim yellow light. Hyunjin had talked Felix into watching a historical romance movie with him and Felix was enjoying it so far. What he was enjoying even more was how Hyunjin had draped himself completely over Felix. His legs fell over Felix' thighs, his arms were wrapped around his upper body and his head was resting on Felix' shoulder. There was barely any space between them.
And Felix's thoughts had wandered off. It was just yesterday when Seungmin had kissed him dizzy. How nice it felt. He wondered if Hyunjin would love it just as much as Felix had, if he was the one dominating the kiss. He liked it when Felix had taken the upper hand the previous times they kissed. Would he enjoy this new form of intimacy too?
Hyunjin seemed to realize that he wasn't paying attention anymore. He paused the movie and sat up.
"Is everything alright?" he asked, concerned.
"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking."
"About?"
Felix wasn't sure what to reply to that. Saying 'I was thinking about kissing you' sounded so… flirty. But it was the truth. He really wanted to kiss Hyunjin silly. He wanted to make out and explore what he tasted like.
"Seungmin kissed me yesterday," Felix decided on saying, "with tongue. And I really liked it."
A few months back he would have been embarrassed as hell and would have run away, but these days it was so normal to talk about kissing. Especially with Hyunjin, he was somehow always the first one he told about this stuff and Hyunjin always indulged him.
"Oh, really? Is Seungmin a good kisser?"
"He's amazing. You should try it someday." He didn't know why he said that. Besides Jisung and him, there hadn't been any kisses between other members as far as he'd known. Even though there had always been a lot of suggested kisses and flying kisses. And to his surprise, Hyunjin didn't seem to be that averse to the idea.
"Hmmm maybe. So you've been thinking of me and Seungmin kissing?"
"No, no," he answered in haste. "I've been thinking of kissing you." Ah, there it was. Outright the truth, like he actually had wanted to avoid.
"Yeah? Then why don't you just do it."
With a cocky grin, Hyunjin leaned back on his pillows, looking at Felix with expectation written on his face. Felix' heart thumped at the sight. Slowly, he shifted his weight, so he was hovering over Hyunjin. His leg fell in between Hyunjin's, their upper bodies not touching yet. Only slowly did he let himself lower onto him, and Hyunjin followed every movement with his eyes.
The air was heavy with tension. It felt like the world was moving in slow motion. Felix felt the warmth between their bodies, he could almost sense Hyunjin's heart beating. It was slow and calm. He trusted Felix.
Felix lifted his left hand up and pushed away a few strands from Hyunjin's face. He was delicate in the action, his finger's only slightly brushing his skin. Like a whisper. Then he let it rest on his jaw, tilting up his head slightly.
Felix could see how Hyunjin's body was tensing in anticipation. He wetted his lips, his tongue peeking out for only a second. The slow pace made him impatient, and Felix enjoyed seeing the little things that told him how much Hyunjin wanted this. But unlike Seungmin, Hyunjin didn't initiate, he waited. His fingers curled into the sheets in frustration.
Their faces were now only a few centimeters apart, but Felix didn't intend to move any further for now. Just basking in the warmth of their combined breath. When Hyunjin realized that, he let out a whine. His hands shot up and clung onto his shirt. He balled the soft fabric in his hands as if to urge him to finally do something.
Felix was enjoying this. He wanted to make this last a bit longer, see Hyunjin get needier. So when he did close the distance instead of finally kissing him, he simply sunk his teeth softly into Hyunjin's lower lip and pulled lightly, remembering how much Chan had liked that. Hyunjin was equally responsive. The high-pitched whines turned into low groans. His nails scratched through his shirt into his skin, in a desperate attempt to hold on. It was only then, that Felix finally leaned into the kiss. Hyunjin sighed in relief at the touch. His hands let go of his shirt so that he could wind his arms around Felix' neck and pull him closer. Like Seungmin had, he controlled the pace, slowing Hyunjin down when he got more eager. His hands wandered from his face down to his hips. One arm he wrung under Hyunjin's waist, to lift him up slightly, pressing his head more into the pillow. Hyunjin moaned into the kiss.
"Are you enjoying this?" Felix pulled back to look at Hyunjin. His eyes were dazed and Felix could make out a patch of red atop his cheek bones. His hair fell onto the pillow like a halo, and in Felix' opinion it wasn't messed up enough. With the hand he wasn't using to hold up Hyunjin, he decided to play with Hyunjin's hair. Softly, letting the strands fall through his fingers, only to then grab them and pull them back. Hyunjin's head arched, exposing his unmarked neck, and Felix couldn't resist it. His lip met with skin, leaving slow open-mouthed kisses along his Adam's apple. This wasn't really what he had planned, but he just followed what his heart wanted and what Hyunjin let him do. He trailed kisses up to his ear and stopped whenever Hyunjin let out a sound of appreciation to nip at the skin. It left small red marks that would vanish again in a few hours. He considered leaving a hickey, but decided that in their line of work it was too risky and would leave the make-up staff wondering and gossiping.
Once he made it all the way up, Felix pulled back to finally reconnect their lips. He removed his arm from Hyunjin, gently lowering him down onto the mattress again. He then grabbed his wrists instead and pinned them next to his head. In the process he completely shifted his weight onto Hyunjin leaving him no room to squirm. His legs were caging Hyunjin's.
Felix let Hyunjin only enjoy the touch of their lips for a few seconds before he opened up their kisses and let their tongues collide. The heat of their kiss spread into Felix' chest when quiet sounds escaped Hyunjin's throat, filling him with content and euphoria. Knowing that he was making Hyunjin feel good left him with a satisfaction that would last for days.
Minutes passed where no other sounds than that of their lips connecting and Hyunjin's soft moans. Whenever they got short of breath, Felix let his lips rest against Hyunjin's neck, his jaw or his collarbone, littering him with butterfly kisses. They only stopped when Hyunjin remembered they were watching a movie and wanted to finish it before they fell asleep. A small ball of content and happiness sat deep in his stomach.
---
Felix was known as the group's masseur. The members could always use a massage after hours of training, and it perfectly aligned with Felix' love for skinship. He had looked up different techniques on the internet, invested in massage equipment, so that he could give the members a satisfying massage.
His favorite customer was Changbin. In both senses. Felix loved Changbin as a customer because it gave him a chance to feel up all his muscles, and Changbin's muscles were his favorite, and also in the sense that Changbin was Felix' most frequent customer, since he had a regular workout schedule and loved the way Felix kneaded his hands into his sore muscles afterwards.
These days, Felix even added a few kisses to his back after every session that sometimes escalated into a bit more. It was when Changbin was pulling his shirt back over his head when Felix realized that Changbin was the only member he had not yet experienced a new type of kiss with.
Jisung was the first one he ever gave kisses to, which started this whole ordeal. Innie was the first one whose cheek he kissed, Minho was the first one he gave a peck on the lips, Chan was the one who got his first lingering kiss. With Seungmin he experienced his first kiss with tongue, and he had a whole make out session with Hyunjin. Only Changbin had been none of his firsts yet.
Changbin had turned around and thanked Felix for today's massage, but Felix wasn't really listening, already deep in thought.
It didn't take him long to come up with a plan to convey his love and appreciation in a new way for Changbin. Honestly, it had been sitting right in front of him. He didn't know how he hadn't initiated this earlier.
It was a few days later when Felix was hanging out with Hyunjin at his dorm. Hyunjin had asked him to help him with some reference shots for his next drawing, and Felix had gladly agreed, always happy to help. They were in the living space testing out different lightning when Changbin came home from the gym. He had already showered, and his still damp hair was covered by a beanie. He greeted them and started putting away his laundry.
"What are you guys up to?" he asked.
"Taking some pictures for Hyunjin's art," Felix explained. They were basically finished. Hyunjin was pretty satisfied with how the pictures turned out and just wanted to get a few close up shots from their last pose.
"Okay, that was the last one," Hyunjin finally announced. "Thank you for your help."
Felix grinned and gave him a thumbs up. "Sure, glad I could help."
Hyunjin gave him a half hug and a kiss on his temple, and then went back into his room, probably to go over the pictures. Meanwhile, Felix went to go look for Changbin, who had already gone back to his own room.
With a 'hey' he made his presence known, and stepped into the room. Changbin looked up from his phone, where he was probably going through the notifications he missed during work out. Felix didn't come here just for the sake of it. He wanted something specific. He had an offer to make. Without further ado, he took Changbin's phone out of his hold, and placed himself on his lap, his hands naturally finding his way to his chest. Changbin was staring up at him. A perfect puppy look. Round eyes wide, curly black poodle hair covering his forehead, lips so kissable. Felix slid his hands up to his shoulders, kneading into them with force. Changbin gasped.
"Care for a massage?" Felix asked cheekily, already pushing him down onto the bed before Changbin could even so far as nod.
Without needing any further instructions, Changbin pulled off his shirt and laid down on his stomach. Felix followed behind him and settled down on his thighs.
He started as he usually would, asking what kind of workout he did so he could target the sore muscles. Then he let his hands slide over Changbin's back a few times before working his hands into the flesh. Changbin's skin was warm and smooth, the scent of his body wash still lingering. Felix watched how his hands transformed the tense muscles into soft tissue, how his fingertips dipped into the softness of his sides and struck against the hardness of his back muscles. He listened to the little groans and sighs that escaped Changbin's mouth. He felt the pull that drew him closer, the addiction that made him want to keep touching him. Felix leaned forward, using the strength of his body to knead out even the strongest knots. His touch became more lingering without him even noticing, feeling the warmth of his skin, admiring his small hands against the flushed skin.
The process was pretty silent with the exception of Changbin's low grunts. Felix never really talked much, when giving a massage. He preferred focusing on his work, only from time to time checking if everything was still okay, making sure that he didn't accidentally hurt Changbin. Today too, he would let his actions speak.
So, when he was finished, the last knot untangling under his fingers, like always, he bent forward and placed soft kisses on his shoulder blades. Changbin took this as his cue to sit up, but Felix placed his hand against his spine and softly pushed him down again.
"Oh, not done yet?" Changbin asked. There was a hint of teasing in his voice. Maybe he already knew what was coming. Well, it was not like he was hiding his admiration for Changbin's body.
Felix grinned to himself, stroking over his skin again. "I'm only getting started." Then he added a bit more softly, "Tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable or if I should stop."
"Okay." Anticipation, curiosity. Changbin was looking forward to this as much as he was. So Changbin laid back again and relaxed, leaving it up to Felix to surprise him. He trusted Felix, whatever it was he was planning.
Felix was a little bit excited. He could feel the heavy thumps of his heart speeding up. He placed his hands on both shoulder blades, and leaned down again, just so that his lips rested against the warm skin. Carefully, he let his lips drag along his neck down his spine, then placing more kisses against his shoulders. Changbin sighed. Felix wished he could see his face, and wondered what kind of expression he was making. Did he have his eyes closed?
Felix breathed in, letting his instinct guide him. His fingers wandered down to Changbin's waist, holding on to it tight. His hands were too small to properly frame him, so he gripped a bit tighter, hoping he could still give Changbin that feeling of security when being held by him.
The plan was easy: shower Changbin in love and kisses. Everywhere.
Felix began by placing more open-mouthed kisses against his skin, shifting the kisses more upwards, targeting the back of his neck. Some were just fleeting touches of his lips, others he lingered on a spot, slightly sucking on the skin, hoping they wouldn't turn into hickeys. Still, he pulled back a bit just to see the effect. Spit glistened at the reddened spots, and Felix gave into the urge to lick them. It felt like a dream. Maybe he had dreamed about this before.
The neck was a sensitive area for Changbin, and he quietly moaned into his arms as Felix attacked every inch he could get his lips on. The sound was muted, but it didn't escape Felix' ears. His heart skipped a beat. Eager to hear more, he slightly bit into the junction between his neck and shoulder that was especially soft after Felix had removed every knot from it. He carefully pulled at the skin and let it go, then soothingly lapped at the spot. Changbin buried his head more into his arms as his moan turned into a whine. Encouraged by the display of pleasure, Felix attacked the other side of his neck the same way, enjoying the taste of his clean skin.
As much as Felix loved Changbin's neck, he also loved the rest of his body. His broad back, the muscles on his shoulders he could watch for hours moving and tensing, the soft flesh on his lower back. All of it was meant to be showered in affection, and so Felix shifted back on Changbin's thighs and let his lips trail along his spine until just above the seam of his boxers. He littered his lower back with fleeting kisses so soft they were not more than a breath of warmth against his skin. He murmured quiet praises against his skin, then dipped his tongue into the dimples of his back. More and more whines escaped Changbin mouth as Felix explored his body with lips, while being held down into the mattress. A satisfying warmth spread through Felix.
It didn't take long for his eyes to zero in on his ass, and for a second Felix wasn't sure, but then he reminded himself that ass groping had already been pretty normal among the group before he started kissing his members, and so Felix took his hands off his hips, placed them on the two pretty cheeks and squeezed. Changbin's reaction was instant. A high surprised squeak, followed by a disbelieving laugh.
"Really?" Changbin turned his head to get a look at Felix. Felix grinned back at him, satisfied.
"Minho seems to like your ass. Guess I wanted to know what the fuss was all about."
Changbin groaned, but he didn't complain or give any indication that he was turned off by it.
Felix kneaded his fingers one more time into the cheeks, deciding to set himself some boundaries for once and stay on the upper half of Changbin's body for now, then he lifted his weight off Changbin's leg and with one motion flipped him around. Felix was a bit surprised at how easily he was able to turn him. But not as much as Changbin, who was now looking at him with big perplexed eyes.
“Oh my god,” Changbin cursed, “That was hot.” Felix threw him a wink.
Now that they were finally facing each other, Felix got a proper look at Changbin's face. It was completely flushed. His wet hair had started to dry, and the black curls framed his face so beautifully, it took Felix breath away for a second. Felix placed a kiss on his cute nose and let his hands feel his flushed skin. So warm and so soft. His finger pressed into his plush lips, slowly dipping deeper into his mouth until his fingers were covered in spit. Like in trance, as if it wasn't himself doing it, he watched his fingers spread the spit across Changbin's lips, making them shine prettily.
"Are you enjoying yourself so far?" Felix didn't need an answer to that question, he could see it in the blush, he had heard it from his mouth, he had felt it under his touch as he tensed and relaxed under his fingers. Still, he asked.
"Yeah." Changbin sounded a bit out of it, his voice lower, raspier than usual. It was hot.
"Good." Felix let his eyes wander over Changbin's exposed torso. He had seen Changbin naked plenty of times, but Felix couldn't help himself to just drink up the view every single time. Changbin's hands were placed just beside his head, his biceps on display, and Felix couldn't resist. He never could. He groped his biceps, once, twice and a third time. Changbin hadn't even really tensed his muscles, but he could still feel the hardness. Felix was obsessed. He just had to lower his mouth onto the muscles, let his teeth grace the skin, before sucking them into his mouth. Changbin hummed below him in appreciation. Felix smiled at the sound, nosing against the skin to show that he was glad Changbin was welcoming of his adoration.
When he was satisfied, Felix pulled back and watched the red bloom on his skin. Fuck it, Felix thought. He wouldn't hold himself back. Seeing his marks on Changbin was too good of a sight to miss out on it. Determined, he immediately went on to suck one next to his Adam's apple and then one just below his jaw. Changbin squirmed. His hands found his way into Felix' hair and pulled. Felix groaned in pleasure.
Finally, when his legs started quivering, Felix lowered himself back onto Changbin's thighs slowly, holding eye contact with him. He waited for a signal that Changbin might be uncomfortable in this position, but nothing came. Instead, he grabbed onto Felix' thighs like he wanted to make sure that Felix wouldn't leave. When he squeezed, Felix had to suppress his own moans. The heat of his hands burned through his pants and secretly Felix wished he had gotten rid of his own clothes, silently craving the skin on skin contact.
Felix let his eyes wander down Changbin's torso, looking forward to giving it all of his attention. He tested out the waters with his hands first. He laid his hands down onto his shoulders and then softly dragged them down to his well-defined chest. He gently took one of his pecs into his hands and squeezed, feeling the flesh give in. They were soft and had a bit of weight to them, that felt nice in his hand. Felix could feel Changbin's eyes on him, so he looked up, to see a small satisfied grin on his face. Felix knew how hard he worked on them. Felix grinned back, squeezing one more time before letting go again, only to then gently stroke his index finger over his nipple. The reaction was instant. Changbin threw back his head, his eyes widened in surprise, as he harshly breathed in.
“Felix”
"So pretty," Felix said, and then pressed a sweet kiss onto his collar bone. "Was that okay?"
Changbin nodded. Felix gave him a fond look and then finally kissed him on the mouth. It was not a deep one, just their lips slightly moving against each other. He pulled back just a few seconds later, Changbin chasing after him.
"You are so beautiful. I'm going to show you my love. I’m going to cover you in kisses," Felix whispered against his lips, "I’m going to worship you."
And with those words he dived back into the kiss, this time deepening it immediately, pulling out the prettiest sounds out of Changbin. Felix grabbed his face and tilted it to get better access. Changbin was so pliant under his touch. His eyes were closed in bliss, and he obediently followed every movement Felix guided him into.
Felix pulled back for air, but never stopped his show of affection. From his mouth he trailed kisses down, latching onto his jaw, his hands were everywhere, feeling up his upper body shamelessly. He took his time caressing every part of his exposed skin.
Felix took the term ‘worship’ seriously. He would make Changbin feel like he was Adonis himself, would make sure every inch of his skin was caressed with the love of his lips. He started kissing down between his pecs, diving his face into the cleavage, grabbing them with both his hands, massaging them slowly while he was drinking in the scent and taste of his skin. When he emerged, he bit into each side one after another, pulling, sucking and licking, leaving his mark all over them. Changbin moaned. It was music to Felix' ears. But he didn't stop there, going lower and lower, down to his navel, leaving trials of kisses, some softer, some harsher. Felix himself got pulled into the bliss. He felt some kind of desperation, urgency. And it grew hotter and hotter between them. Even though this was supposed to be about Changbin, the way Changbin was not quiet about his appreciation didn't leave him unaffected.
As Changbin started to squirm at the unceasing flood of sensations, Felix put his hands back on Changbin’s hips and squeezed firmly. Changbin was a lot stronger than Felix, but the moment he was pressed back into the mattress, he went pliant. Changbin let out a whine and Felix grinned. He was always so whiny when he wanted something. Felix stroked his hips with his thumbs in conciliation, then he gave him another lasting kiss.
As Felix pulled back, he sat up to examine the mess he already made. With his fingers, he traced the wet patches of red. Like blossoms of camellia, they decorated his chest, his shoulders and his stomach. His collarbones were completely mauled, some of the red already dipping into a darker color.
"You're so beautiful," Felix murmured, more to himself than to Changbin.
Felix saw the retort coming and immediately stopped him by sucking one more kiss onto his neck. Changbin was not good at receiving compliments. Felix had observed how Changbin immediately tried to shift the focus from himself whenever Felix tried to compliment him, instead going on about what an amazing person Felix was. But today was not about him. If Changbin couldn’t take his love in verbal form, he would just have to continue showing him.
So, when his kisses traveled down and reached to the spot where his heart was beating beneath his lips, he stopped. Carefully, he laid down his flat hand right above his heart. He could feel it thumping blood through his body. Its rhythm was matching with his own. Fast and strong. The skin beneath it was flushed and heated.
Felix looked up from his small hand on his chest, looking straight at Changbin. His eyes were closed, his breathing was heightened. The flush on his face had not dimmed, instead had brightened even more. Felix probably wasn't off better. He could feel the heat radiating from every part of his body. When Changbin felt Felix' eyes on him, he opened his, their gaze locking.
"This is my favorite part of you." Changbin looked at Felix confused for a second, then looked down to where his hand was placed.
“My chest?”
Felix rolled his eyes and chuckled fondly. “No, below that.”
"My heart?"
"Yes, one of the most beautiful, one of the most caring and compassionate hearts."
Because even though Felix was obsessed with Changbin's body, the thing he loved most about Changbin was how he was always there to listen to the members and how much he cared for them. Felix pulled back his hand and softly kissed the place it had just laid at. Changbin was too stunned to speak for once, just looking down at Felix. Felix felt himself flush a bit more, his heart hammering in his chest. He wished he could kiss Changbin's heart directly, but this was the closest he could get, and Felix just let his head rest against it. The regular beat was calming, and somehow he felt like he had successfully conveyed his love. He placed another sweet kiss at the same spot, smiling to himself fondly.
Felix once again gave Changbin's body a look, still in slight disbelief that he had marked his body with his love so beautifully. To him, it was like the ultimate proof of his love. The marks would be gone in a few days, but for now he could still admire the beautiful sight before him. He could always just leave new ones. Not just on Changbin, but if the other members let him, on them too.
He gave Changbin one last deep and passionate kiss. As he pulled back, Felix thought he saw stars in his eyes.
---
And life went on like normal. The inclusion of kissing and heavy make out sessions and sometimes full on body worship was just another aspect of Felix' life now. Getting undressed in front of Felix and getting more vulnerable with him hadn't come as easy to all members as it had for Changbin, who had already been more used to Felix’ hands all over him. Or Hyunjin, who, even though he claimed not to be a person of skinship, very much did love skinship with Felix. Or Seungmin, who started stripping Felix while making out, before Felix even had come to ask.
The first time, Chan had been extremely shy. It was cute how it took some coaxing and soft words plus some kisses to his belly for him to finally uncover his face as Felix softly lifted his shirt. With Jisung and Minho, Felix made sure to talk about boundaries first, himself not being sure where their relationship began and how his love for physical intimacy fitted with them. It took a bit of talking, also between just the two of them since their relationship was not even a year old, but in the end both of them were happy with welcoming Felix in, in all the ways Felix had hoped for.
With Jeongin it had been a bit different. When Felix' fingers graced the seam of Jeongin's shirt and made contact with the warm skin of his hip, Jeongin had tensed, and pulled Felix’ hand away. He rejected him and Felix was fine with it. It was two weeks later, when he walked in on Chan and Jeongin talking, both their faces as red as a tomato. He only picked up scraps of the conversation before they noticed him, but it was enough to tell him that Chan had talked about Felix' hands and lips on him. Felix tried really hard not to laugh when he saw them hastily busy themselves with something else, their faces burning. It was another two weeks later when Jeongin found Felix himself. Jeongin asked for kisses, like usual, and Felix happily complied. At one point, Jeongin took Felix' hands and guided it under his shirt. Felix took things slower with him, but it didn't take long until Jeongin got used to every spot on his body being kissed and loved.
And as Felix watched how Jeongin became more open to physical affection, how Jisung and Minho actually got the kisses they so teasingly asked for, how Chan became more relaxed and assured in his daily life, and when he caught Seungmin, Changbin and Hyunjin making out in the living room, and they invited him to join him, he thought to himself that maybe the accidental kisses he placed on Jisung's back that day had been a small blessing for their team. It had brought them all even closer together.
---
Felix’ love language was physical touch, always had been, always would be. He loved giving his members hugs, he loved holding hands, he loved cuddles, and especially he loved kissing. If a person was precious to him, he would show them if they let him. It might just be a peck on the cheek, it might be a full-blown make out session, but if a person let Felix love him, he would do his best to show his love and appreciation. And Felix loved his members. He loved them all so much that sometimes it felt overwhelming. And the members knew that, letting Felix show his love the way he could express it the best. They appreciated and enjoyed the love they received. Just seeing and hearing how much they felt loved by Felix' kisses made Felix happy and satisfied.
--- The End