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“Rogers.”
“Yes, Nat?”
“Stop staring.”
Steve liked to think he conducted himself as a gentleman, and for the most part, he did. But then there were those times when Nat wore something that just piqued his gaze for a little longer…
Now was one of those times.
The team wasn’t undercover exactly, but certainly trying to stay under the radar. Nothing like an overblown charity banquet as a masquerade for ex-HYDRA dealings. There were a lot of shady figures and Fury was determined to ensure all their work didn’t go undone.
Tony was playing the spotlight philanthropist of the evening— though “playing” was probably false. He was the center of attention and not at all upset about it. The rest of the team were stationed around the event, there to “support Tony and the kids” while checking out the guests.
Natasha was assigned to watch the back of the gala floor, a place perfect for her as she hated the overblown, disingenuine sentiment of the event. She’d witnessed first-hand some of the greatest atrocities of the world and here the rich people were: discussing global catastrophe over champagne.
Steve was assigned the balcony, out of sight enough for the ambitious single ladies to lose him for the evening so he could concentrate on watching Tony’s six. Like he needed to though. Was there ever a suit Tony wore without a metal one underneath?
And thus, the perfect opportunity for Steve to admire his girlfriend.
Nat had on the most elegant black dress, long and sleek, with a slit coming up the right side. Her hair wasn’t anything unlike she wore it everyday which somehow made the look better. Sexy, confident, fierce. She was breathtaking everyday, but tonight, she was beyond words.
So breathtaking he didn’t realize he was frozen till she called him out on his staring over the comms.
“Geez, Cap, you’re leaving me blind out here. Stop being a ladies’ man for the evening and cover me, why don’t you?” Tony scoffed.
“Sorry, sorry,” he chuckled, “ when your girlfriend catches your eye as strikingly as mine just did, you let me know.”
He could’ve sworn Nat blushed but he was a little too far away to tell.
The comms resumed quietly for the next hour or so before Nat broke the silence, a slight frantic tone seeping through.
“There’s something going on downstairs, people keep disappearing through an elevator. I’m gonna go in.”
“Nat, wait, let me follow,” Steve interjected.
“I can handle myself, Steve, you have to watch Tony.”
She was right of course, she could handle herself. Plus, Tony was being swarmed with guests and there was no way Steve could leave him without cover to watch the entire floor. Clint and Thor were watching the outside, Banner was as far away from people as could be, and it just didn’t make sense for any other possibility. Rationally, he knew what his duty was. But that didn’t mean he was okay with it.
Steve’s slight hesitancy to respond was just long enough for Nat to pick up on it.
“Steve,” she said gently. He perked up, making eye contact with her across the room before she continued, “It’ll be okay.”
Then she was gone.
If anyone noticed Steve pacing for the rest of the night, the team didn’t mention it. It was a couple hours before Nat came back, and he was a fairly level headed guy, but two hours? The worst situations sprang to his mind and once the thoughts came in, they were hard to get out.
He was relieved to see Nat without a scratch coming out of the elevator at 2am before the sinking frustration bubbled up. Two hours she’d left him worrying with no trouble at all? No updates? Nothing?
Nat could sense how he was feeling on the way home as they said little to each other than what was necessary for the mission debrief. It wasn’t until they closed their apartment door that she prompted him about it as he collapsed on the couch.
“Steve. Talk to me.”
“I think you know why I’m not talking to you, Nat.”
“Steve, it was just some underground poker dealings. Didn’t identify anyone as HYDRA. I had to stay and make sure.”
“Nat-”
“What? I won. Easy.”
“You know that’s not the point,” he sighed, “You should’ve updated us.”
“The team needed an update? Or you?”
Steve had to bite his cheek to stop from losing it before Nat continued.
“It was fine. I’m not gonna update you and risk blowing my cover because you’re worried about me. It was just a poker ring, not a big deal.”
“Yeah, well, it could’ve been a big deal.” He paused.
It could have been dangerous and I wouldn’t have known.
“It could’ve been a big deal,” he repeated.
“I know.”
“I don’t think you do.”
Nat sighed. “I know it could’ve been a big deal. But to me, Steve, nothing is a big deal when you’ve fought aliens out of the New York City sky. Nothing is a big deal compared to the worst things we’ve faced and I knew I wouldn’t be putting myself into a situation where I couldn’t get out of it. You have to give the Red Room a little more credit for that,” she smiled softly.
“It would be a big deal to lose you.” He closed his eyes and Nat walked over, brushing her hand along his arm as she sat beside him. There was an accepted understanding that Nat wasn’t ready to say it back yet, but Steve didn’t need her to; he knew just the same.
So in the silence, Steve just pulled her a little closer, gave her a kiss into her hair, and held her until they were too tired to stay up much longer.
“I will try to be more understanding,” Steve sighed.
“And I’ll try to be less rash,” she replied, kissing him on the shoulder.
There was also the shared understanding that Nat couldn’t promise he wouldn’t lose her. And he couldn’t say the same. They were smart enough to know that promises like that in their line of work were bad ideas, because no matter how careful you were, things could go wrong. There was no guarantee that they wouldn’t lose each other now or sometime down the road. Their relationship had to survive that reality.
At least for now, they were. That was the beauty of their love— like a sprout surviving in the most impossible conditions yet growing all the same. And that was enough.