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“Sirius, babe, I think you have way too much fun with your name sometimes.”
Sirius gasped dramatically, his hand grasping at his t-shirt, “You did not just say that to me, Moonpie!”
“Oh, but I did.” Remus replied, “And I’m right.”
“No, you’re not,” Sirius pouted. He had always had just the right amount of fun with a name like Sirius Black. He told his boyfriend as much.
James shrugged from his spot, reading a comic book, on the floor, “I don’t know, mate, you do seem to enjoy making name puns a little too much.”
“Oh, what are you reading?” Remus asked.
“Green Goblin’s Last Stand,” James said. Remus and James quickly dissolved into a conversation about the comic book rather than about Sirius.
Sirius gasped again, offended that they forgot about him in order to talk about Spider-Man of all things, “What do you mean!? There’s never too many name puns!”
Peter scoffed, “Try listening to them for over seven years.”
“Oi! Since when are you against me, Pete?” Sirius rolled his eyes, “I thought we were buddies!”
“We are, but your name puns are just as bad as Remus’ wolf puns.” Peter tutted, “The two of you deserve each other.”
Remus raised his arms, “Hey, this was a Sirius thing, don’t bring my hilarious puns into this.”
“Wow,” Sirius scoffed, “Aren’t you in love with me?”
“Love, that is not the point,” Remus says.
“Give me one instance in which my puns were not absolutely hilarious,” Sirius says.
The boys don’t answer him for a long moment.
“See?” Sirius says, “You can’t–”
“Well…” Peter starts, “When we went to that Hufflepuff party and you went to get some drinks and you came back…”
The music is blasting throughout the forest. Sirius is rocking his head to the beat. He doesn’t wonder how it’s possible that not one of the professors has woken up yet and heard the music back at the castle.
Sirius grins and drums his fingers against a tree, waiting for Remus to catch up to him with the multiple cases of fire whiskey he insisted on carrying himself.
“I didn’t insist.” Remus huffs. “You kept complaining about the boxes being too heavy and how they messed up your shirt.”
“Oh, please, Moony! You love showing off your muscles!” Sirius grins.
James makes a mocking kissy face and hangs off Peter’s arm.
Peter laughs and mockingly flirts back.
Remus glares, “And why the hell aren’t the two of you making yourselves useful and grabbing a bloody box?” James laughs and grabs a box, handing it to Peter. Then he shoves another in Sirius’ hands and takes two for himself. Remus sighs in relief and shifts the remaining boxes under his arms, “Thank you, Prongs.”
James blows a kiss at Remus and winks.
Sirius rolls his eyes and continues toward the party.
They finally enter and Sirius holds up his box triumphantly, “Sirius Black is siriusly back with the booze!”
A few people (namely his lovely boyfriend and friends) groan, but the rest cheer.
Sirius scoffs, waving his hand, “Oh please, that was just a party thing. Everyone loved it.”
“Everyone was drunk.” James corrected. “And what about that one time during our final exam,”
He taps his pencil against the desk rhythmically.
His leg joins the pencil after a moment, bouncing up and down as Sirius reads and then rereads the question in front of him. Maybe he should have actually studied with Remus instead of just staring at his pretty face every day after school for an hour.
Well, it was too late to do anything about it now.
“Mister Black,” McGonagall says, “Is something wrong?”
Sirius scratches his head with his pencil and shrugs, “Sirius Black is siriusly blank, Professor. I don’t know what else to tell you.”
The boys groan around him. Still, a few people chuckle.
Sirius snorts, “ That was siriusly clever.”
The boys stare at him.
“What?”
Remus shakes his head, “What about our third date?”
They’re sitting in a cab and it’s the most exciting thing that Sirius has ever done. Yeah. Sitting in a muggle cab with Remus Lupin is the most exciting thing that Sirius has ever done.
They’re spending the day traveling around muggle London for their third official date.
Not that anyone other than the boys and Lily knows they’re on their third official date.
“Are you hungry?” Sirius asks.
Remus turns from the window and smiles, “I could go for a bite.”
Sirius grins, “Good, ‘cause Sirius Black wants a–”
“Sirius snack,” Remus finished for him, tapping his finger on Sirius’ nose, “I know.”
Sirius felt his entire face heat up. And at that moment, he fell a little more in love with Remus Lupin.
Remus pauses, “Actually, that one was cute. I’ll let that one pass.”
Sirius grins, wrapping his arms around Remus, “See, you love the puns.”
“Only a little,” Remus confesses.
James and Peter make gagging noises. And then James throws his pillow at them, “Boo, Moony! Boo! Against the puns!”
“He won me over!” Remus says, “It’s his pretty eyes.”
“Aw, you think I have pretty eyes?”
Peter throws another pillow, “Remember that time you fought Snape?
Sirius glared at Snivellus. The guy was such a pompous jerk. Sirius knew he could be a jerk too, but at least he had the decency to be aware of it.
Snape was so unaware of his douche-y-ness that he was confused as to why Evans refused to speak to him. After he called her a hurtful slur in front of nearly everyone in their bloody year. You would think that he would surely realize that that had something to do with why Evans was ignoring him.
“Leave her alone, mate,” Sirius snapped after Lily told Snape to go away for the fifth time this class period.
“Don’t call me ‘mate’, blood traitor.” Snape sneered.
“Severus!” Lily hissed.
Sirius scoffed, “I will never understand how a half-blood is so high and mighty about blood purity.”
“Gryffindor reject.” Snape huffed.
Sirius growled, “Lily if you don’t get this freak away from me, Sirius Black will siriusly attack.”
Lily shoved Snape, hissing at him all the way. Next to him, James and Remus cracked up while Peter dragged his hands down his face.
Sirius grinned, “That was good, right? I just thought of that one.”
“That was a fun one,” James admitted.
“Very fun.” Remus nodded.
“Oh! Oh! I got one too!” Sirius grinned, “Do you remember that one time we took the Knight Bus to Wales?”
“We missed our stop!” Peter moaned dejectedly.
James stared at the man printed and hung on the outside of the bathroom, “Where are we?”
“I told you we should have just taken my mum’s car.” Remus shook his head.
“Guys,” Sirius said.
“What are we going to do?” Peter asked, grabbing onto Remus’ sleeve and shaking him, ‘I don’t want to die on this bus!”
“Guys,” Sirius said again.
James hummed, “I don’t know, Petey, but I think we’re going towards Scotland.”
“That’s in the opposite direction of Wales.” Remus said, “Mum will kill us if we’re late to dinner.”
“Guys,” Sirius said again, a little louder.
Peter knocked his head against a pole, “I just wanted to go to Wales! Not get stuck on this stupid bus!”
“Guys!” Sirius shouted, getting the boys’ attention, “Sirius Black will siriusly crack if we don’t get off this bus soon!”
Sirius and the boys laugh at the memory of their little vacation disaster.
“Oh, um, remember that time you went to a muggle dentist?”
“Sirius Black has no sirius plaque!” Sirius cheered.
Remus rolled his eyes fondly, “He got his teeth cleaned.”
“Oh,” James said, “Did you cry?”
“No.”
“He did.”
“Oi!”
“I didn’t cry.” Sirius huffed.
Peter rolled his eyes, “Sure you didn’t.”
“I didn’t!”
“He did. I was there.”
“It’s alright, Pads, we all have our moments.”
“How about we stop talking about the dentist and talk about the siriusly cool sack Sirius Black bought yesterday?” Sirius grinned, grabbing his brand-new bag from the couch.
The boys groaned, but Remus still placed a kiss on his cheek.