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The last thing Itoshi Rin expected during his last week of break from Blue Lock was a call from Isagi Yoichi. He had half a mind to ignore it, after all, what use was the bastard when he had cost Rin everything? Just remembering it again made his blood boil, and he had to fight the urge to throw his phone into the ocean.
His thumb was poised on top of the glaring red decline button, but something on the back of his mind hesitated. Isagi wasn’t a friendless man, he would be spending all his free time during break to meet up with the rest of the blue lock players, celebrating their win and whatnot. And to add to that predicament, they didn’t part ways in a favorable manner.
No, coldly declaring Isagi as his rival and wanting to kill him definitely wasn’t something that Isagi would look back upon with a smile.
Curiosity getting the better of him, Rin decided to pick up the call instead.
“... This better be important.”
The bright voice of Isagi Yoichi filled his ear. “Rin! Oh my god, you picked up the call.”
“Yes, and?” Rin murmured, scuffing his boots on the pavement.
“Well, I texted you multiple times, but you never replied to any of them. I’m starting to think you were trying to be difficult for no reason and ignored me…”
Hearing the clear dejection in Isagi’s tone, Rin closed his eyes, wondering why he had the urge to reassure the guy. “I rarely open my messages, everyone knows it. I’m more surprised that you didn’t.”
“I mean, yeah, I heard people talk about that since they like to talk about how unapproachable you are, but I didn’t want to be rude and just called you out of nowhere–”
“Isagi, stop rambling,” Rin cut him off, knowing that Isagi would ramble endlessly when he got nervous. “What was the reason you called me?”
“I, uh, know that you wanted to be left alone during our break but,” Isagi took a deep, audible breath as if preparing to launch a life-or-death speech. “Do you want to play football with me? Before we get back to Blue Lock?”
Silence.
“Excuse me?” Rin asked slowly as if he heard Isagi wrong.
Another deep breath from the other side of the phone call. “It’s been more than a week of break, and I miss playing football. And now, I’m asking if you want to play with me.” Isagi sounded much more sure now, with no trace of doubt or nervousness. This was the Isagi that Rin knew, and it put him at ease.
“Why don’t you ask your other lukewarm friends? I’m sure they’ll be jumping at the opportunity.” Both of them could hear the slight bitterness in Rin’s voice, but none were willing to acknowledge it, courtesy of being emotionally stunted teenagers who didn’t know how to deal with sensitive matters.
“I know they would,” Isagi spoke softly, and Rin hated how he could imagine Isagi’s expression. “But I want to play with you specifically.”
They were both silent for a few moments, absorbing what must’ve been the most sincere confession that both of them had spoken to each other. Before Rin could even open his mouth, Isagi continued.
“It’s not as fun to play if it’s not you, Rin.”
Rin’s throat dried up. He should say no. After all, he might not be able to hold himself back the moment he sees Isagi’s stupid face again, and he wanted to collect his thoughts and sort out his emotions before going back and locking everything away in the recess of his brain that no one would bother with.
“Let me visit you and play in the field that you usually practice at when you grew up, how’s that sound?” The sound of Isagi talking again snapped Rin back into the present, and an unpleasant feeling rose inside his chest.
“You mean the fucking field that my shitty brother left me for dead while he goes around acting as if I don’t exist?”
“God, Rin, you don’t have to put it like that.” Isagi snickered, a completely normal reaction to every outburst Rin had as if he was a petulant child and Isagi found it amusing. “But yes, that field, as you so eloquently put it.”
Isagi already knew Rin was caving in. How he despised it when Isagi knew his every tick and tells. “Yes or no, Rin?”
But Rin wouldn’t give Isagi the satisfaction of being right. He pretended to hum and considered the offer, and then with a dramatic sigh, he said, “Tomorrow, 10 am. If I don’t see you then, you’re on your own.”
Rin hated that he knew Isagi was smiling the same way as when he won a match.
The universe clearly didn’t bless him, because the sky wasn’t the bright blue color that Rin was expecting, nor was the air calm and supportive. No, it was cloudy and gray, the wind blowing sporadically that leaves scattered across the football field, some flying around and kissing Rin’s cheek as if to taunt him. He usually loved the gloomy weather, but windy and dark wasn’t what he envisioned when he agreed to Isagi’s invitation.
Is this what they call a bad omen? I knew Isagi only brought me bad luck.
Rin, knowing he showed up way too early, picked up the ball and did some warm-ups. He felt ridiculous, being there way before the designated time, one that he decided on. But since he hated dwelling on his emotions nor was he capable of putting a name to them, Rin poured out his frustration into the ball, kicking it with such ferocity that the goalpost fell when it hit the net.
“Damn, what did the ball even do to you?” A familiar voice called out, full of mirth and energy. Rin turned around, and the sight of Isagi Yoichi in the flesh, in his city, wearing casual clothing instead of a jersey, made Rin itch.
“You’re late.”
Isagi checked his watch, noticing how he wore it on his left hand, the same way Sae did. Stop it, you’re being irrational , Rin reprimanded himself. “It’s 9.55, and I recall a certain someone saying that I should show up before 10. Did I get that right or did I mishear what you said?” The teasing smile on Isagi’s face was so irritating that Rin wanted to punch him.
“Shut up.”
“Gladly, your prickly Highness.”
The new nickname rolled off Isagi’s tongue way too easily, and way too casually.
“When I said shut up, I fucking meant it.” Rin walked towards the goalpost, putting it upright and picking up the ball. “We’re here to play, aren’t we? Let’s see how you’ll hold up against me one on one.”
The playful look in Isagi’s eyes diminished, replaced with the fire that always enveloped the blue-eyed boy whenever he was about to play. Rin basked in the warmth of it, knowing that no one else could challenge him the same way Isagi did.
“I ended up beating you at the match, didn’t I? You said so yourself. Bring it on.”
Rin ended up winning by one point, and he was not happy about it. The bastard was right, he did improve, either because of their match against the Japanese U-20 team, or he practiced afterward to polish up some of the maneuvers he did with Rin, and managed to execute them perfectly on his own.
“That was awesome!” Isagi exclaimed, and Rin thought he had never seen Isagi look this… happy. It was the smile that seemed different. Less sharp and menacing, and more genuine happiness. Rin had to admit that it was a good look.
“Hmph, you didn’t even win.”
Isagi rolled his eyes, kicking the ball to the side alongside the cluster of other balls in the corner. “Yeah, but only by one point. I find it funny that you’re grumpier than I am despite winning.”
“You don’t act like you just lost. Was that all you wanted? To be able to get so close to winning but barely reaching there?”
“Hey, unlike you, I take every win and loss with grace.” Rin snorted, remembering the few times when Isagi would be so devastated at losing by a hair's breadth that he would sulk and sit by himself until he found out why he lost and how to get better. “Okay, maybe not always, but when I know it’s more plausible for me to lose than win, then I just do my best and try to be okay with it.”
“What a lukewarm mentality.”
Isagi rolled his eyes. “Forgive me if I haven’t reached the level of insanity and obsession that you possessed. I don’t exactly have a personal vendetta against anyone.”
Rin stopped his movements, slowly turning around to face Isagi. “What did you say?”
The other boy seemed to just realize what he was saying, but it was too late to backtrack. And if Rin knew Isagi at all, he knew that he would never back down from an argument. “You’re a coward and a sore loser, Rin. You never knew your limits, nor do you know how to break through them in a way that would help you grow instead of breaking you into pieces. The way you weren’t even happy about our win against the U-20 team because you were bitter about that last play. You never know when to take your losses.”
A swarm of emotions threatened to spill from his chest, a torrent that didn’t have a proper outlet. Rin made it a habit of shoving them inside a little corner of his heart he kept hidden from everyone that once it was too full to contain all his thoughts and feelings, he didn’t know how to let them out.
Well, at least he didn’t know how to do it rationally.
He felt like he was made of fire, all-consuming, and he finally decided to stop trying to bottle it up.
“And what do you know about that? Don’t fucking stand there and tell me that I’m supposed to be satisfied with winning when I didn’t get what I strived to do.” Rin breathed heavily, eyes wild. He felt like he was back in the field when he lost all sense of control and played as if he was being possessed. “I did lose the entire world, you stupid little princess. I lost my brother’s respect, his recognition, and the only chance I got to surpass him in the eyes of the world. So don’t you dare speak to me about winning if you don’t know what winning is to me. ”
Isagi was still silent, face completely blank and unreadable. Rin thought that this was it, Isagi would walk away again, the same way he did when Rin declared the boy his rival. But then Isagi’s entire face morphed into something nearly as murderous.
They didn’t notice the slight drizzle that fell, every droplet of water sizzling out when it touched their skins, with the fire burning away at their core.
“You’re wrong about that. I might be the only one who knows how much winning against your brother meant to you. I’m the only one who knows that football loses all meaning once you don’t have that fire of wanting to surpass Sae burning inside you.” Isagi stepped closer to Rin while speaking, his hair and clothes getting damper as the rain kept falling. “Why do you think I let myself assist you for the majority of the match? Why the fuck did I even bother trying to make you feel like you win? Because you do. You outplayed your brother in that last game.”
“I know that!”
Isagi scoffed, standing right in front of Rin, hands balled into fists. “You don’t act like you do.”
“I’m not mad about not being able to outplay him.” Rin pursed his lips, suddenly unsure if he should speak it aloud. His biggest insecurity and he was about to lay it out to the one person that caused it.
“Don’t hold back your words, Rin.”
A growl of frustration climbed up Rin’s throat, and he relented. “He made me feel fucking worthless because of how he acknowledged you, Isagi.” Rin’s eyes burned, and he was horrified that he might start crying, so he plowed on. “He approached me, making me feel hope for the first time after years, and he mentioned your name instead. That shitty ass person couldn’t even find it in him to say something validating to me, his own brother, even after all I did. Do you know how angry that made me? Not only that you stole the moment from me. He also did!”
Rin was out of breath when he finished, still blazing with anger. He thought he saw compassion and understanding in Isagi’s eyes, but then it got wiped out just as quickly. Isagi reached out, grabbing Rin’s chin roughly to yank it downwards.
“Listen to me, you loser.” Isagi’s words were rough, but Rin expected nothing less from him. “So what if Sae acknowledged me instead of you? That should be a wake-up call to you that no matter what you did, he won’t ever care about your goals. If you keep playing football for him like this, you’ll never get to the top.”
The rain was falling quite heavily now, both of them soaking wet and cold, but instead of wanting to run towards shelter, Rin stayed rooted in place, Isagi’s fingers warm on his chin, a direct contrast to the cold that started to envelop him now that his anger slowly dissipated. Isagi’s lids fluttered from the onslaught of water weighing them down, and Rin couldn’t help thinking that he looked pretty this way.
Thinking about it made his anger resurface.
“What the fuck do you know about how to be the best? You can’t even beat me.” The resentment in Rin’s voice was more subdued, no matter how much he wanted to keep lashing out. Rin never had any outbursts of emotions before, and the fact that Isagi was the one to bring that side of him out was jarring. He didn’t know if he liked it or not.
“I know more than you do about how to keep myself moving forward that doesn’t depend on another person’s validation.” The grip Isagi had on his chin loosened, but Rin didn’t pull away. “And you wouldn’t be able to thrive if you don’t find another reason to keep playing in Blue Lock.”
Rin scoffed. Sometimes he forgot that Isagi had his head in the clouds with all his pretty words and ideals. “Are you going to tell me something as cheesy as me continuing for myself?”
“Yeah, actually, I was about to say that,” Isagi replied casually, ignoring the sarcasm in Rin’s tone. “But you know it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You can start deciding who and what you want to have as your stepping stones.”
“I hate it when you’re putting in reasons for your delusions.”
Isagi raised his eyebrow, water dripping from it. “I’m always realistic with my so-called delusion, Rin.”
His voice hung in the air, Rin still bent down to Isagi’s level, and he realized that Isagi’s hand wasn’t gripping his chin anymore. He had the most irrational urge to grab Isagi’s hand, just to feel his warmth again.
“Since you’re so smart, do you have any suggestion as to what I should do instead of trying to keep surpassing that useless brother of mine?” His voice felt thick and syrupy in his throat. He started wondering if the rain made him sick.
Isagi didn’t look like he was doing any better. Rin could see his throat moving as he swallowed. “I remember you declaring me as your rival. Does that still stand?”
“You’re asking like you still want it to be true.”
“Maybe I do.” Isagi moved closer, and this time, Rin could feel the heat from Isagi’s entire body, radiating from him as if he was the sun. “I’m always here, right in front of you, and maybe you should start seeing that instead of setting your eyes so far away from your reach.”
Too close. Too intimate. Those words coming out of Isagi’s mouth felt too much like a caress, especially after all the harsh things he said just minutes ago. Rin couldn’t understand the shift of emotions roiling inside of him.
“I don’t think that’s wise.” Rin’s eyes dropped, taking in Isagi, soaking wet and clothes clinging to his body. The white shirt that he wore outlined the shape of his body too well, and even though Rin had seen Isagi shirtless multiple times before, seeing him this close felt way more intense. Rin wanted to touch the dip of Isagi’s waist, to keep him in place.
He felt Isagi’s eyes on his lips as if he didn’t realize he was doing it. Like he was subconsciously drawn to them. “Why is that? It doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me.”
Rin chuckled, voice coming deep from his chest. He could feel Isagi shuddering. “Everything about you is a bad idea, Isagi.”
“Don’t say shit like that.”
“Why is that?” Rin asked, mirroring Isagi’s earlier words. Their faces were only inches apart, breaths mingling through the heavy downpour.
“Because I’ll be tempted to act on my bad ideas. And they’re truly not something I'd prefer to be doing.”
“How so?” Rin enjoyed pushing Isagi to his limits, seeing him lose control when he was always careful, and Rin could see the shattering of any remnants of restraint that held them in a bind.
“Oh, fuck you,” was all Isagi said before he fisted his hand on Rin’s shirt, pulling him closer until their lips collided.
The world stopped as Rin felt Isagi’s lips on his own, the rain frozen mid-air, the air around them suspended in their motion, and there was nothing but the outburst of mixed feelings coming out from Rin. His mind couldn’t fathom what was going on, but his body knew what to do as if it was instinct. As if kissing Isagi was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.
Without missing a beat, Rin pulled Isagi closer by his waist, his hand finding warm, warm skin from where Isagi’s shirt had ridden up. Rin felt Isagi shiver, and then his hands were on both sides of Rin’s face, erasing any gap that existed between them. Hot. Everything was too hot. Isagi’s body flushed against his, the way Isagi’s lips moved against his own, the breath that filled his lungs, the strip of skin that he touched despite being wet.
It was getting too addicting too fast.
They just stood still, kissing each other in a fervor that they completely ignored their surroundings. Rin could feel his lungs needing air, and he pulled away slightly, breathing heavily. He opened his eyes to a sight that he would never forget as long as he lived. Swollen, red lips slightly parted, flushed cheeks, lashes dripping with water, and lids still closed, as if Isagi was savoring the kiss still. The sight made Rin groan. It woke something carnal inside of him.
“You’re right. It was a terrible idea.”
Rin didn’t give Isagi a chance to retort back. He simply pulled Isagi back, this time holding the nape of the other boy’s neck. Rin wasn’t the only one who had the urge to devour, because Isagi was getting even more daring, hands roaming around Rin’s soaking torso while his tongue prodded at Rin’s lips. Rin must’ve parted his lips subconsciously since he couldn’t remember doing so until he felt Isagi’s tongue on his, and everything afterward became messy.
Both were equally inexperienced, but they made up for it with their pent-up frustration and months of silent pining, one that Rin still couldn’t admit to himself. The jacket that Rin wore was being zipped down, and then a set of hands pushed them off in desperation. Rin helped Isagi take off his jacket, lips still moving in a rhythm that made Rin’s head dizzy. Then his arms were grabbed roughly, and Rin was pushed back until his back hit the goalpost. Rin groaned from the impact, but Isagi swallowed the sound with a particularly vicious bite on his bottom lip.
He was surprised to find out that he liked it.
Too caught up with the kiss, Rin almost didn’t notice that Isagi broke it off, and he almost protested. Until he felt Isagi’s lips on his neck instead, his other hand splayed across Rin’s neck and collarbone, not dissimilar to the act of choking. Isagi didn’t push to do the deed itself, his fingers feeling the pulse on Rin's jugular, and with a particularly sinful glance upwards, Isagi put his mouth on it, and bit down.
“Holy fuck—” His voice trailed off into a sound that he never thought could come out of his mouth, and he almost clapped his hand to close it, but Isagi stopped him by circling his fingers on Rin’s wrist.
“Don’t bother. I want to hear you.”
The words shot through Rin’s head like a lightning bolt. He nodded once, eliciting a smile from Isagi that he would fight wars to see more of, and then Isagi went back to marking him. Rin didn’t hold back. There was no one else around to witness, which made any sounds that he involuntarily made just for Isagi to hear. Isagi was ruthless, covering up any blank area on Rin’s neck and collarbone with love bites, a painter creating a painting on a perfect, blank canvas. Rin’s other hand moved from Isagi’s nape to his hair, pulling at it. Isagi stopped what he was doing, his breathing hard against Rin’s sternum.
“Was that too much?” Isagi asked tentatively. Rin wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Here was Isagi, painting his neck so thoroughly that there was more purple than ivory to be seen, and he was asking if it was too much.
“Kinda late to ask that, don’t you think, Yoichi?”
If it was possible, Isagi blushed even harder hearing Rin call him by his first name. “Oh, come now. You just kissed me like you want to devour me completely, and you’re embarrassed about me calling you Yoichi?”
Isagi punched his arm, face still flushed. He looked so fucking delectable that it took everything in Rin to not kiss Isagi again. “That’s different and you know it.”
Rin laughed, a bright, carefree one. Instead of dampening it, the sound amplified the rare sound that Isagi never had the pleasure of hearing before. It was almost as addicting as his kisses. Isagi wanted to bottle it up, to steal it directly from his mouth.
The sound stopped when Rin realized that Isagi was staring like a lovesick fool. “What?”
“Nothing! It’s just that… I have never heard you laugh before.”
“Don’t expect more of it, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Isagi smiled so wide that he worried it might be permanently etched into his face. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” They both looked at each other, at the state of disarray and how the rain was still falling hard. Rin’s hair was completely falling on his forehead, covering his eyes. Isagi held out his hand, waiting for Rin to say yes, and then pushed back his bangs to get a good look at a pair of aquamarine eyes that never failed to hypnotize Isagi. Instead of the usual apathy and resentment, all Isagi saw was hunger and… affection?
The rain must’ve made him delirious.
“Rin?”
“Yeah?”
“We should get inside now. We’re going to get sick if we keep being here when it’s raining.”
Rin’s eyes widened slightly, immediately moving to grab the jacket that was discarded by Isagi. He inspected it and then scoffed at Isagi’s direction.
“It’s fucking stained.”
“Wash it, then.”
“I bought this with my own money.”
“Again, you can just wash it with extra detergent.”
Rin sighed, exasperated. How Isagi loved seeing this side of Rin, so short-tempered and dramatic like every teenager should be. It made him more real, and if Rin stayed like that, Isagi could imagine a future where Rin would get older by his side, and somehow the image wouldn’t be too far-fetched. He was both scared and excited about the prospect.
He only hoped that he was convincing enough to get Rin to see that future for them.