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Cas is sat on the very uncomfortable motel sofa, a book of word searches in his hands. He’s staring down at it, somewhat confused by the objective. He picks up a pen and raises an eyebrow. He watches the book and pouts slightly, looking around for one of the Winchesters to come to his aid.
Dean walks through the door, and looks at Castiel’s confused, yet adorable face. It seems he is having trouble with a crossword. ‘You doing a crossword there, Cas? I never thought I’d live to see the day’
Castiel looks at him and gestures for him to come over. ‘I believe it is a word search, Dean… and I don’t know what the objective is and or how to complete the task’
Situates himself on the empty chair next to Cas. ‘Right Cas, these words listed at the bottom of the page here *indicates words on page with his index finger*, they are somewhere in this grid of letters here *indicates grid of letters in the middle of the page*. When you have found a word on the grid that is also down here, you do this *draws a circle over the word ‘adorable’ and crosses it out at the bottom of the page* And that Castiel, is what you are’ *Places a kiss on Cas’ forehead and goes into the motel kitchen to put the groceries away*.
Cas watched him consistently and nods as he slowly begins to pick up on the concept of the word search. ‘Yes… thank you Dean’ He looks at him, giving him a small nod of acknowledgement before he looks down towards the page looking for the words in the grid.
‘So Cas, what have you been up to today then?’
‘I have been up to nothing Dean. Nothing suspicious if that’s what you mean?’
Gives him a confused look. ‘No, I didn’t mean that. I was just curious as to what made you come home and do a word search?’
‘Oh… I-I was hiding from some of the angels, so I came over here and found a word search book’ He shrugs.
‘Cas?’
‘… Yes Dean?’
‘Why were you hiding from angels, and which ones Cas?’
‘Just a few angels that don’t agree with me, I’d rather hide away here that start a battle of our kind up there…’
‘Okay…’ Looks at him sternly. ‘Well… You know I am here if you need me, to back you up?’
‘Dean…. I would prefer it if you didn’t get involved if something happens..’
‘Why?’
‘Because… I wouldn’t want to lose you, the blood would be on my hands… and t-that’s something I would never want to happen.’
‘Awe, you are just too adorable Cas, you know that.’ He again locates himself on the chair next to Cas to help him with the word search again.
‘I…I was not intending to be adorable.’ He raises an eyebrow at him but soon turns his attention back to the word search.
‘Cas, w-what are you not telling me, w-what are you hiding from me Cas? Please tell me Cas, you know how I feel when I get lied to….’ He raises and eyebrow at Cas, waiting for an answer.
Cas looks at him. ‘Why would you think I am hiding anything from you, Dean?’
‘Because I know you Cas, I know the way you look when you are in danger, pain, regret, love, heat, denial, and when you are hiding something from me. I just know you are Cas. Please tell me….?’ He places a hand on top of Cas’ hand and gives a pleading look while staring deeply into Castiel’s eyes.
‘….You’re very observant of me….I am only tuning into angel radio…’
‘I’m here if you need me Cas. You can tell me anything…’ Doesn’t believe Cas.
Cas looks at Dean, tilting his head to the side slightly. ‘You don’t believe me, do you Dean?’ Cas sighs and looks at the word search again.
‘I just… I-It’s just…. The people I have lost in the past, they were going through hard times and I had no idea. If I had known, I-I could have…. I could have helped them. They would be…. Here…. Would be alive… They are Dead. Dead because of me. I never want that to happen to you. I don’t want you to hide anything from me because if anything like that ever did happen to you. I would never forgive myself. Not at Cas. I don’t want you to go…’ Dean looked away with tear filled eyes and got up to walk into the kitchen with his back facing Cas…
Cas stares at the page for a little while, in silence, before noticing that the other male had left and wandered into the kitchen. ‘… I am sorry Dean, truly sorry…’ He walks up to him, hugging the only living Winchester from behind. ‘I understand how bad losing someone is, I wouldn’t want to lose you either…’
Dean turns around, eyes all red and puffy from all the crying he had done. ‘I-I am so sorry Cas…’ He kisses Cas on the forehead before grabbing his coat and runs out of the motel, tears streaming down his check.
Castiel looks at him and frowns slightly when he sees that Dean had been crying. Because of him. And it made him feel really bad. ‘Dean… I-I…’ And before he could finish, Dean had ran off….
He ran after him.
~
Dean ran as fast as he could and before he knew it, he was stranded in the middle of nowhere. Without his baby, and his four wheeled baby. He knew he shouldn’t have ran out because Castiel would feel responsible, it’s in his nature. In his blood.
I have to find a way back, I don’t want to lose him. I CANT LOSE HIM.
Dean looks up to the sky with tear filled eyes and shouts ‘You don’t do anything stupid you hear, hear me Cas. If you do, when I come back I’m coming to kick your ass! I’m coming home baby. I’ll be home soon.
Trying to stifle his cries, Dean thinks of the worst possible case scenarios of what could happen because he ran out…
~
Castiel looked around as he’s managed to lose sight of wherever Dean had ran off to. He stopped and continued to look clueless as he watched for any signs of the eldest Winchester. He started asking locals if they had seen him, before searching again. After a little while, he didn’t know where the Hell Dean had gotten to, or where the Hell he’d ended up.
Dammit Dean…
~
*The next morning came*
~
Dean notices a familiar gas station just half an hour away from the motel he and Cas were staying at. Hoping it’s not too late. Dean runs as fast as he possibly can to make sure his Baby is okay.
Castiel had given up on his search, clearly Dean didn’t want to be found. Plus, it would take a miracle to find him now that Cas was admittedly lost. He watched the sky as morning rolled around and sighed to himself. ‘Dammit Dean… I’ll never forgive you for this…’
Dean rushes through the motel door, seeing an unslept bed and a note reading ‘Why do you do this Dean? I’ll never forgive you for this. I hate you…’ Dean, immediately feels heaps of regret and fall to the floor. Imagines walking into the kitchen and Cas being there. Running up to him, hugging him from behind and treating him like the most precious possession in the world.
He walks into the kitchen. Nothing… Empty…
He runs to the Impala and drives around for four hour straight, searching for his baby, praying nothing has happened to him.
Castiel started walking, starting to find his way back to the motel. He didn’t know what time it was or how long he’d been gone, but he could tell it was a good long period of time. He ran a hand through his hair and walked by the road side, looking into the forest beside him. It was pretty at least. He watched a few cars go pass and continued to drag his feel across the floor…
Dean spots a beige trench coat at the bottom of the road, he jumps out of the Impala and runs towards it, only realising it is the same scarecrow he and Sammy had seen a couple years back. ‘Cas!! Where the Hell are you. Fine… I’m sorry okay. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry. I read your note. I WILL find you. I will take you home and I will leave you if that’s what toy want. I will pack my bags and go. For good. Just promise me something Cas, don’t ever come looking for me. I don’t deserve you. You deserve someone better. Some mundane human. Not a hunter like me. I love you Cas. That’s why I’m letting you go. Setting you free…’
Castiel blinks a few times when he notices, what seems to be a familiar car, black. Close enough to be an Impala. Dean. He thinks. He expected it to stop, but he knew instantly when it drove past that it wasn’t Dean. He continues to walk. Hoping he was going in the right direction. ‘I miss you Dean. I-I’ve been lost without you.
Dean, noticing a familiar face, froze. He no longer had control of his body. The Impala speeding down the road. Castiel standing at the side of the opposing lane. He suddenly awoke to the sight of blinding lights towards him from a car. Then he realised, it seems he was on the wrongs side of the road.
He immediately stopped, practically fell out of the car. Ran towards Cas and fell onto his knees in front of him.
Castiel’s head turned to looks back as he heard the beeping of another car. He paused when he’d noticed they were going to collide. His eyes somewhat widened as he saw Dean emerge from the car on the wrong side of the road. Once he’d fell to his knees, Castiel knelt down beside him. ‘Dean…’