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Jamie began to hate the locker room.
It was completely different now that Zava had arrived. Everyone seemed to worship Zava, even though he did nothing but worship himself. All he did was talk about how good he was and how amazing he played, and the team saw nothing but greatness. It didn’t feel the same anymore.
Jamie started to wait until everyone had left to get ready in the locker room after training. He would usually spend time kicking the ball around on the pitch for a while until everyone was gone. He did this for weeks. Just him in the locker room after practice.
Which is why after Jamie spent about 30 minutes practicing goals one evening, he wasn’t expecting to come back to someone in the locker room.
Colin was sitting by himself in front of his cubby. He was looking down and twiddling with the shoelaces on his boots.
Jamie almost minded his own business and turned to his own cubby to finish getting ready, but he stopped himself. He thought about how he was purposely distancing himself from the team since Zava got here because he felt like they didn’t need him anymore. He thought about how nobody seemed to notice him pulling away. He thought about how nobody seemed to see him anymore, nobody seemed to care, even though that’s all he wanted. He wondered if Colin might feel the same way. He turned back around.
“You okay, mate?” He asked.
He heard a soft sniffle, as Colin gently wiped at his eyes with his sleeves. Colin cleared his throat.
“All good, boyo. Sorry to take up your space. I’ll get out of your hair.” He said, as he moved to grab his bag.
“Wait, you can stay. I don’t mind.” Jamie said, softly. He watched as Colin seemed to pause for a minute before he sat back down.
Jamie finished changing out of his kit and back into his street clothes. He paused for a second before grabbing his bag, walking across the room, and planting himself next to Colin on the bench.
“You sure you’re okay?” Jamie asked after a moment of silence.
Colin took a deep breath and closed his eyes. After a few seconds, a few tears slid down his cheeks.
“It’s nothing. I’m making a big deal out of it.” Colin said, softly.
“It’s not nothing if you’re upset about it.” Jamie paused. He’s never been exceptionally great at comforting people when they’re upset, but he was giving it a shot. “Is it about getting benched?”
Colin shook his head.
“Are you thinking about what Nate said, again? Because that doesn’t…” Jamie started.
“It’s not that. It’s just…” Colin said before he took a deep, shaky breath. He paused for a while.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Jamie paused. “But if you want to talk, I’m here.” He said.
He heard Colin take a deep breath again.
“It’s just… sometimes people on the team make jokes. And they used to not bother me that much. I thought I could just ignore the way they made me feel. But sometimes Isaac makes them…” Colin’s breath hitched. “And Isaac is my best friend. It’s hard to ignore them when they’re coming from your best friend.”
Jamie frowned.
“I’m sorry, Colin.” He paused. “Um, if you want me to talk to Isaac, I could try and…” Jamie started.
“No, it's okay. I’ll talk to him at some point.” Colin interrupted.
Jamie nodded.
“Well, if there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.” Jamie said, as he gently reached over and squeezed Colin’s shoulder.
Colin softly nodded. He looked at the floor, and nervously picked at his nails. Jamie was almost about to get up, before Colin spoke up.
“Jamie, can I tell you something?” He asked, quietly.
“Of course, mate.” Jamie replied.
Colin took a long pause.
“Do you remember the bloke I brought to Sam’s restaurant? My pal, Michael?”
Jamie nodded.
“Well, um… He’s actually my boyfriend.” Colin breathed out.
Jamie instantly felt incredibly proud of his friend, but almost immediately his heart sank. He knew exactly what jokes Colin was talking about now. Jamie heard them all the time, and not just at Richmond, either. In almost every locker room he had ever been in.
Jamie knew how it felt to hear these jokes. He knew how it felt to feel alone.
“Colin.” Jamie gave a soft smile, as Colin looked at him with slightly teary eyes. “Thank you for telling me. I’m really happy for you.”
“Thank you.” Colin said with a small smile, as he wiped his eyes with the backs of his sleeves.
“And, Colin.” Jamie added. “I’m sorry I’ve never stood up to the jokes before. I just kind of assumed that I was the only one who was affected by them, so I just tolerated them, but that was pretty dumb. I’m sorry.” Jamie said.
Colin gave a soft smile and a nod before his brows knit together.
“Wait, when you mean you were affected by the jokes…” Colin trailed off.
Jamie smiled and shrugged.
“My ex-boyfriend was actually named Michael.” He said, as he lightly leaned over to bump his shoulder with Colin’s.
Colin smiled back.
“Thanks for telling me, Jamie.” He said softly.
“Anytime.” Jamie said. “I’ll always be here if you want someone to talk to. You don’t have to feel alone.”
Colin gave a soft smile. The pair sat in silence for a moment, before Colin spoke up.
“Jamie?” Colin said. Jamie hummed. “You don’t have to feel like you’re alone either.”
Jamie furrowed his brows.
“I just mean… I’ve noticed that you’ve been staying after so you don’t have to clean up while everyone is still here, and I’ve noticed that you don’t come out to the pubs with us as much anymore, or come over to Dani’s to play FIFA. It just seems like you’ve lost your Jamie spark.” Colin frowned. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier, but you don’t have to go through something alone. The team is here for you. I’m here for you, too.”
Jamie’s eyes turned glassy, as he gave Colin a small nod.
“Thank you.” He said, as he looked at Colin. “It means a lot.”
Colin smiled.
“Anytime.” He said.
The pair sat in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence, until Jamie reached over and gently squeezed Colin’s shoulder.
“Alright mate, I should probably get going.” He said, as he stood up from the bench. “You’re a strong and capable man, yeah?” He said with a smile, before he turned to the door. He made it about halfway across the room before Colin spoke up.
“Jamie?” He said. Jamie turned back around. “Can I give you a hug?”
“Yeah, of course.” Jamie replied.
Colin got up off the bench, and he met Jamie in the middle of the locker room, before Jamie pulled Colin in for a hug.
“Thank you, again.” Colin said into Jamie’s shoulder after a few moments.
“Of course. Thank you, too.” Jamie said. “We’re there for each other, yeah?”
He felt Colin nod into his shoulder.
The two waited another moment before pulling apart and saying their goodbyes before they both left the locker room.
Colin started staying late with Jamie. It became their routine. They would practice scoring goals together for a bit while the locker room cleared out.
Zava had left a week ago, and things were starting to get better, but Jamie was still off. He couldn’t handle it anymore. He was shooting goals with Colin, when he stopped with the ball at his feet.
“Did it ever bother you?” Jamie asked, quietly.
“What?” Colin asked, not hearing what Jamie said.
Jamie let out a small sigh.
“Did it ever bother you that Zava could just… do whatever and get away with it?”
Colin just furrowed his brow, so Jamie continued.
“He did whatever he wanted and the coaches didn’t care. They didn’t care when he showed up late to training. They didn’t care when he left training early. They didn’t care when he didn’t participate in team bonding. They didn’t care when he only talked about himself. But if we did any of that stuff, they wouldn’t tolerate it. They wouldn’t let it slide. Why was it different for him?” Jamie said. He took a deep breath and continued. “And the team too. It seemed like everybody loved every word that came out of his mouth no matter what it was. I don’t know. I guess it just didn’t feel like Richmond when he was here.” He said as he shuffled with the ball at his feet.
Colin frowned.
“Is this why you’ve been distancing yourself from the team?” Colin asked, softly.
Jamie shrugged. He moved to sit on the pitch, placing the ball in his lap. He paused for a long moment.
“I was worried that since we had Zava, you all wouldn’t like me anymore. I wasn’t the best anymore.” Jamie replied.
Colin’s face softened, as he moved to sit on the pitch with Jamie.
“Jamie.” Colin started. “We don’t love you because you’re the best player on the team, we love you because you’re Jamie. We love you because you’re our friend.” Colin said softly.
Love. The team loved him.
Jamie gave a soft smile.
“I’m sorry about everything with Zava, and I’m sorry if you felt like you couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I know what you mean about how he could do whatever he wanted, but I guess I never really thought too hard about it. I’m sorry, Jamie.” Colin said.
Jamie shrugged.
“It’s alright mate. Thanks for listening to me.” Jamie said.
Colin gave a soft smile.
“I’ll always be here.” Colin said. “We’ve got each other, remember? We don’t have to be alone.”
Jamie gave a soft smile back.
“Yeah.” He replied. “Thank you, Colin.”
Colin gave a small nod.
They sat in silence for a moment, before Jamie hopped up off the ground and dropped the ball in front of Colin.
“First one to miss a goal has to run 3 laps around the pitch?” He said with a smug smile.
Colin got up off the ground.
“You’re on.” Colin said.
Jamie watched as Colin grabbed the ball, and moved to settle it so he could try to make a goal. Jamie knew he wasn’t alone now. Colin was there for him and he was there for Colin. They were there for each other.