Work Text:
Another cycle. The second day. I’ve only a few things I need to do this time.
Bombs. I need to get bombs.
The bomb shop isn’t open for a few hours. I wait in South Clocktown. Builders are shouting at one another- they’re running behind, construction needs to be ready in time for the festival. They’re saying the same things. It’s hard to not get numb after a while. In a day the new guy on the team will begin to panic, his worry about the moon spiralling into sheer terror, and who can blame him?
The bomb shop is open. I head to the banker. He must not really recognize me, but, I’m stamped, he must have forgotten, that’s all right? I push aside the thought that the 70 rupees rightfully belong to someone else.
The bomb shop apologizes, there was meant to be a bigger bomb bag in stock. I smile, I understand, pushing away the memory that just popped into my mind, cutting through to me.
Oh thank you. You sweet sweet boy, the old woman cries as I hand her her bag. She won’t remember this. I have the bomb bag with me now- some reason it didn’t vanish during the reset. All the help, all the thanks and what does it matter? It’s selfish. Do I even need this bag?
I leave with what I need. A bombers gang kid brushes past me, telling me to get out of the way.
Somewhere the mayor, the town's guard, and the festival’s organizers are still arguing. On and on back and forth. It doesn’t change.
Nothing seems to change.
It doesn’t feel that uncanny, really. You’d think after seeing the same events over and over would at the start feel a little strange but it reminds me of home.
Home. Is Hyrule home? I’m not even sure anymore.
Tatl chastises me- she doesn’t know what my plan is but she pushing me, I have to keep moving. Another reminder of home.
Where did Navi go? Will I find her? I don’t know anymore. But Tatl’s another reminder of what I left behind.
Everyone is. Everywhere I look I see faces from Hyrule. I don’t know why. I try to not focus on that fact- that at least, is uncanny. And to think about it is to bring the guilt I’m trying to ignore.
Home. Hyrule. Whatever it is. Every day was the same. People going to their shops, delivering their mail. The same gossip in Castle Town, the same guards in their same places. Do they ever get bored? I don’t even know.
I saved them. Nobody there knows I saved them. Day in, day out, the same things occurred. Life went on. Surely this is meant to be? Lives not interrupted by violence. Lives filled with small, little things.
You just keep going. Everyone keeps going. When I save them (and I have to think of it as when), they will continue. The workers will leave and next year have the same arguments. These moments caught in time probably aren’t that unique. The mailman will follow his route until he’s too old to work.
No matter what I do it doesn’t really help. I think of Romani all of a sudden. She’ll be attacked tonight. Will she be okay? I don’t even know. I’d go but I can’t- there’s so much to do and not enough time. That guy- Kafei, I was asked to look for him too- I’ve not, I’m just numb.
More faces come to mind., More trouble. I’m suddenly frozen. I can’t. I can’t I can’t.
I’m thinking of Hyrule again. Nobody knows what I did, not even Zelda, really. What am I supposed to do now? No one to talk to.
It all feels so small.
LATER…
It’s the evening of the second day now. I don’t remember what the plan was for this cycle was anymore.
I stopped it all, told Tatl to shush. Went into the field.
I fought. I found every monster I could, and I destroyed them. I screamed. I just kept screaming. I’m a mess. Shaking. Tatl’s a little scared now. I need to apologize.
I’m so lonely.
I can’t write, the pages are getting wet. I’m shaking. I need to start over.
The first day will dawn again soon. I’ll talk to Tatl, and then my Ocarina will let me do this again.
This will stop. For there sake.
For mine.