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Gojo missed his son. More than anything else, he missed his son.
He was so tired. It was far too late in the day to be thinking about this, he should really be asleep. But… he couldn’t shake the thoughts.
Ever since Megumi had started high school, he’d become even more distant than he was before. He never wanted to see Gojo outside of school or missions. He actively avoided him, even in school when he could. Gojo had done his best to not take it personally at first. Megumi was 15 now, at the age where teenage rebellion was common. Gojo wanted to do everything to respect his wishes.
He couldn’t even remember the last time they’d talked in any meaningful capacity.
The feeling ate him up from the inside. Pain crashed in waves in his stomach; his heart ached for his last remaining family. All Gojo wanted was to make his son happy. He loved Megumi with all of his heart. He really wanted to talk to him again, to spend time with him, to give him a hug and tell him how proud of him he was…
But maybe Gojo wasn’t good enough. He had already known that Megumi deserved a better father. He had hoped his love and affection would be enough, and would give Megumi what he needed.
But maybe he was wrong. Maybe Megumi never wanted to see him again.
Maybe Megumi never even saw him as his dad, as his family.
Gojo curled up into himself. Choking sobs softly echoed in his bedroom, disturbing the silence of the night. There was a time when Megumi or Tsumiki would come check on him when this happened.
Today was not one of those times.
—
The next morning, Gojo decided he’d try to reach out to Megumi. To prove himself wrong, and also simply because he missed his son. It felt silly. Thinking back on it, he saw Megumi every day… but it wasn’t the same.
And so, after training was done for the day, Gojo asked Megumi to stay behind. The boy had rolled his eyes, but obliged and stayed after everyone else had left. Gojo sat down next to him. They sat overlooking the training field. The gloomy sky hinted at rain to come soon, which did nothing to help Gojo’s mood.
“Well, what did you want?” Megumi broke the silence.
“Oh, right! Well, I was hoping you’d join me for something?”
“What is it? Another training mission?”
“No, no. Nothing like that. I uh, I wanted to ask if you’d want to hang out this weekend. We could watch a movie or go to your favorite bookstore, whatever you want. Just like old times.” Gojo pretended he couldn’t hear the sadness in his own voice.
“No.”
Gojo’s heart shattered. He had been right. “N-no? May I ask why?”
“Why would I want to,” Megumi said, irritated.
“Oh. Um. Okay, kiddo. I’m sorry to bother you. You’re free to go now.”
Megumi hopped up, grabbed his things, and left without even a glance in Gojo’s direction. Gojo felt the remaining pieces of his heart, fragile like glass, break further. As though he was stomping them into the ground. Physical pain swirled inside of him. It hurt. Oh boy did it hurt.
Gojo’s eyes watered, but he didn’t allow himself to cry. He should have known better.
—
Gojo had tried for a few months, reaching out occasionally to his son to hang out, not wanting to pressure him. Every single time, he got the same response. Gojo was so numb to the pain at this point, he barely felt anything at all. It didn’t matter if he texted, asked in person, or called… Actually, Megumi had been dropping his calls lately too.
Gojo had been trying to think of what it was he did wrong, how he had hurt his most precious student. He couldn’t remember anything. He debated over whether Megumi needed some space, or if he was going through a phase right now, or something.
The only way to really know was to ask him directly.
Gojo finished grading his students’ homework, putting cute stickers on the ones who had scored well. However… Maybe he should stop doing that.
Leaving the rest as a problem for later, Gojo got up and headed towards Megumi’s room. It was only 6PM, so he was still awake.
Gojo tapped his knuckles on the door. He heard Megumi sigh from within the room, his feet padding over to the door. Megumi only opened it a little bit, glowering at Gojo.
“What do you want?”
“Please, can we talk?”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
Gojo reeled back in surprise. He wasn’t sure why he was so shocked… he should have expected this. “‘Gumi, please-“
“Don’t call me that. Leave me alone.” Megumi slammed the door shut.
Well, that had gone a lot worse than Gojo had hoped. He couldn’t help the pain welling up within him. What on earth had he done to make Megumi hate him so much?
… Why couldn’t he help feeling like he had lost his son?
—
Gojo entered their apartment, greeted by the quiet stillness of the night. Megumi must be asleep. Gojo still wanted to let him know he was back, though.
Easing Megumi's bedroom door open, Gojo entered the space and sat down beside his bed. Careful to not startle him, he whispered the boy’s name. Megumi immediately flung his arms around Gojo, pulling him close. Gojo adjusted so he was sitting on the bed with Megumi in his lap. For a mere 6 year old, he was so small in Gojo’s arms.
Gojo rubbed his soft hand up and down Megumi’s back. At the contact, Megumi nuzzled into Gojo’s chest. With his free hand, Gojo began to play with Megumi’s hair. The soft strands began untangling under his gentle ministrations.
“Daddy?” Megumi asked, blinking sleep out of his eyes.
Shocked, Gojo paused. Megumi flinched at the lack of touch. Gojo immediately returned to holding his boy. His son.
“Daddy’s here, ‘Gumi. I’m back.”
Megumi buried his face in Gojo’s shirt. His little hands clung onto the soft material. Gojo gently massaged the boy’s scalp. Happily, Gojo noted Megumi began to relax back into sleep.
He stayed with him the rest of the night.
Gojo awoke with a jolt. He didn’t know why he was remembering this now. The poor kid had probably mistaken him for Toji at that moment. It’s not like it meant anything to the current situation. Right?
Megumi had never referred to him as his dad since that moment. It was just a fluke.
He should stop thinking about it.
—
Gojo decided to change his plan. If talking to Megumi didn’t work, and neither did waiting for Megumi to talk to him, he should try asking Megumi’s friends. There was a great chance this wouldn’t work either… but at least he would have tried.
And so, he asked Yuji and Nobara to join him on a short errand trip. He didn’t need groceries; they had gone earlier this week. He just needed an excuse to talk to them. Usually he would have come up with something more fun for them to do… but exhaustion had started taking its toll on him.
They walked to the store. It wasn’t too far away, and the drivers were mostly busy today. The kids chatted to each other as they wandered to their destination. Gojo was uncharacteristically silent. As they came across the park on the way, Yuji stopped and asked, “Gojo sensei? Is everything okay?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah. Everything is great!!” Gojo plastered that fake smile across his face. “There’s no need for you to be worried.”
Nobara piped up, her eyes narrowing suspiciously, “Then why did you call us out here today?”
“I just wanted to ask you if you’ve noticed anything up with Megumi lately? Has he been dealing with something?”
Yuji and Nobara looked at each other, shrugging. “I haven’t noticed anything unusual about him.”
“Aside from the usual, of course.”
Nobara smacked Yuji. Unfazed, Yuji asked, “Is there something wrong with him? Should we be worried?”
“No, no! I was just wondering. Now, what goodies do you kids want from the store today?”
This distracted them well enough. The rest of the outing went without incident, nor any mention of his question.
But… he still had no answers. And no answers meant no solution.
–
Gojo had spent the last few hours pacing his room. His feet wore the same path into the wood floor, but he was barely concentrating on what he was doing. He had no idea what to do- if he should even do anything. Talking to Megumi hadn’t done anything, same with talking to his friends, or just waiting it out. There was a chance that he shouldn’t do anything… that Megumi was done with him.
He didn’t want to think about that possibility.
He had been in Megumi’s life for around 10 years now, and the same vice-versa. He’d like to think he improved his son’s life, that his love and affection reached him… Now it looked like it hadn’t. Or he had done too much.
He didn’t want to lose him. To lose his son, his sweet baby boy-
If it was for the best… maybe he should let him go. But, it didn’t hurt to try one last time.
Having made up his mind, Gojo headed over to Megumi’s room.
He gave himself no time to reconsider, knocking on the door as soon as he arrived.
“Hm?” Megumi asked from inside.
“Hey, Megumi… Would you please let me in?” Gojo’s hands shook as he awaited a response. The pause seemed to stretch infinitely long, his tension building-
“Fine.”
Well, he didn’t sound happy about it, but that was better than nothing. Hope flickered inside Gojo’s chest. He ignored it. It would be bad to get his hopes up.
He opened the door. Blinking into the darkness, he found Megumi curled up in bed. He was holding his phone, staring up into Gojo’s eyes.
“What do you want?”
Gojo sat down on the end of the bed, quashing down the urge to see what was wrong. He didn’t know how to approach this conversation. “Hey… It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”
“Mhm.”
“Kiddo, please, what did I do? I’m sorry for hurting you, I don’t know what I did- what can I do to make up for it?”
“What are you talking about?” Megumi sounded mad. Great, he had already messed it up again. Gojo really couldn’t do anything right.
“I’m genuinely really sorry. I don’t know what to do.” He couldn’t help the tears welling up in his eyes.
“What-”
“I haven’t seen you in months, you’ve been dropping all my calls, I never even see you outside of class. Megumi, I miss you. ”
Shame spread across Megumi’s face. He averted his eyes, studying the blankets pooled around him. Gojo waited for his response, tense.
“I- I’m sorry. I thought that it um, would be the best to give you some space.”
“What? Why?”
“I wanted to be independent, to do everything by myself. I didn’t want to bother you anymore.”
“Megumi, I love you. You could never be a bother to me.” Gojo gently took Megumi’s hands in his own to emphasize his point.
“But, I-”
“Megumi, you’re my son.”
Megumi brushed tears out of his eyes. He flung his arms around Gojo, startling him. Gojo pulled his son into a tight embrace, and murmured, “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
“I’m sorry, Dad. I’m really sorry. I promise it was nothing you did.”
“Shh, it’s okay. ‘Gumi, it’s okay. Just promise me you’ll tell me when things get this bad.”
“I promise.”
Gojo kissed his forehead. He was so happy he wasn’t losing his son.
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”