Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In three days, Mari would be moving away.

Her mother had a new job, and insisted a fresh new start would be good for the three of them. Her father encouraged her to get the most out of the summer she had left with her best friends.

Mari was fine.

She broke the news to her friends at the end of the school year. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to move, nor did she want to.

Aubrey nearly burst into tears, Mari running a comforting hand through her dark hair. “Don’t worry, Aubrey.” She smiled. “We can still talk all the time! I’ll send you plenty of letters, and visit.”

Afterwards, the two went to the drugstore nearby and picked up some hair dye. They spent the night giggling, watching tv and dying each others’ hair. “Now that we're matching, we’re friends forever,” Aubrey smiled, blow-drying her pink strands. “You can’t get rid of me that easily!”

Basil frowned, but tried to smile. “Oh… well, we’ll still visit each other! As long as we keep in touch, things will be fine!” Mari saw through his façade. It wasn’t convincing.

It was blazing hot in the middle of June, when Basil pulled her aside. Rummaging through his bag, he pulled out a beautiful clay hairclip. A lily of the valley, framed with a white tulip. Mari smiled. She clipped it into her hair. Basil beamed, taking out his camera for a picture. “I hope you’ll always remember us, Mari.”

“But Mari,” Kel drawled, pouting. “Hero’s cookies are only second best to yours! How will I get my vitamin tasty nowwww?” He flopped onto Aubrey dramatically, before being shoved off. Mari giggled.

Mari startled awake as usual, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Hero was next to her, fast asleep; as well as Aubrey and Basil, further away. Gently, she stood, and walked to the open door. A faint sobbing could be heard from the stairs below. Mari closed the door.

“Oh…” Hero’s face fell. “Well, then this summer will just have to be the best one yet!” Mari smiled, linking their fingers as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. A chorus of eewwws rang out from Aubrey and Kel.

“I… I’m sorry, Mari…” Hero sobbed, clutching her tighter. “I don’t want you to go…” She held him tighter, burrowing her head into his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Hero. We can be together, I promise…” Her shirt was nearly soaked through with his tears. “We’ll be together again someday. Don’t worry, Hero.”
She clutched at the back of his shirt, still dry.

In three days, Mari would be moving away.

Mari was fine.

Chapter Text

Knock, knock, knock!

Mari fixed her skirt, absentmindedly running her fingers over the dark purple pleating. “Coming!” She shouted.

Her socked feet thumped down the stairs. One more time, she fixed her skirt and smoothed over her hair. Her hand hovered over the doorknob.

“Hey, Mari.”

She froze.
“Kel and I are back from Hobbeez… Could you let us in?” A sickening voice. Her heart couldn’t stop racing. Another knock. “Mari…?”

This was nothing but another taunt. Mari hugged herself, holding her arms. Deep breaths. In for four… Out for four. This was okay. Mari was fine.

“Big sis?”

Mari opened the door.

“Hey, Mari! I was wondering when you were gonna answer!” Kel beamed. “Ready to go? Hero asked me to pick you up ‘cus he was busy with a- something!” He stuttered. Mari laughed, playing along. “Sure, sure. Let’s go!”

The late summer heat was cut by the gentle breeze, to the two’s relief. Along the way, Kel would occasionally crack jokes and the two discussed his basketball career. It didn’t take too long for the two to arrive at the park, and Kel bowed exaggeratedly to lead Mari into the secret lake spot. She laughed, shooting Kel a smile and heading inside.

It was silent for a few moments as Mari enjoyed the sun and breeze on her skin, before she heard a shout. Her eyes darted to the other side of the lake.

A blue and white picnic blanket was spread out on the grassy plain. An array of food glittered in the sun. Hero waved, beaming, as Aubrey jumped up and rushed over to Mari. “Mari!”

She caught the younger girl in a hug, smiling. “Oh, wow… you all didn’t have to do this for me,” she murmured sheepishly. “There’s still a couple of days left…” Aubrey crossed her arms. “Don’t say that! We wanted to have a picnic with you! Now c’mon!”

Kel finally made his way through the bushes, looking particularly scratched up. This didn’t stop him from teasing Aubrey, though, as Mari watched him stick his tongue out playfully and race to the picnic blanket. “First one there gets the first cookie!” Mari distantly heard Hero shout at that, and she laughed.

...

“... So then, at the last minute, I caught up and swam past him! Swim team is hard... but Grandma says it pays to be prepared," Basil beamed.

“That’s incredible!” Aubrey said, smiling back. “I never thought you'd get into swimming of all things, but it's better than basketball,” She teased. Kel huffed, and crossed his arms. "Hey! I'll have you know, basketball is a totally valid and awesome sport too!"

Mari went back to eating her own food as the two began bickering. A gentle touch on her hand nearly made her jump; Hero frowned, apologetic. He leaned close. “Hey, are you alright? You seem a little… spacey.”

She smiled. “Sorry! Just got my mind on some stuff. Like you, handsome,” She gave a playful smile . Hero turned red, covering his mouth with his hand. “H-Hey! Warn a guy first!”

Mari sighed, laying down on the picnic blanket. She was thinking, but… mostly, not about Hero. The faded golden sky shone down on her, the afternoon sky transitioning into a sunset before her eyes. It was beautiful. “Hey, everyone,” Kel piped up. “Could we maybe visit Sunny today?”

She closed her eyes.

“Yeah, sure!” She could hear Aubrey. Her tone was wobbly, but she heard a smile.

“That’s fine with me! I just have to stop by my house to tell Polly and Grandma that I’ll be home a little late.” Basil said. Mari felt something in the words, but couldn’t make it out.

“Sounds like a plan, then.” Hero’s tone softened. “... Mari?”

Mari pushed herself onto her elbows, softly smiling . “Sure. I’m sure he’d like it.”

Despite the dark twilight sky, a spot of sunlight was still cast onto the marble headstone. Flowers, well taken care of by Basil, surrounded and climbed the cold stone.

Sunny Suzuki. Beloved son and brother. 

The sun shines brighter because he was once here.

It was quiet for a minute. Basil sat, and began tending to the flowers. They swayed in the summer breeze, an illusion of calm. Aubrey was the first to speak up, sitting in front of Sunny’s grave.

“Hey, Sunny. I hope you’re doing well. Everyone’s here this time,” She smiled. “We just got back from having a picnic! Hero made sandwiches, and they were the best.”

Hero laughed sheepishly. “Well, I wouldn’t say the best…” Mari rolled her eyes, playfully elbowing him. “Don’t doubt yourself, Hero. They’re surely the best I’ve ever eaten!”

Kel grinned. “Yep! Although Mari ties with you on the cookie front. Speaking of…” He trailed off, glancing at Mari with his biggest puppy eyes. “Could you make some cookies for us before you go?” Aubrey swiveled around, giving similar puppy eyes.

Mari laughed, resting her hand on her cheek. “Wow, I don’t get how that still works! Guess you’ll still always be 12 in my heart. Sure, Kel. But you guys have to help!” The two cheered. “And,” she added, “No food fights this time! We need those ingredients!”

Basil finished tending to the flowers, dusting his dirty hands off onto his jeans. “Finished tending to the flowers. Someone stomped on one of Sunny’s tulips…” He sighed. “But, it’s a good thing they’re resilient.”

Aubrey nodded, Basil helping her to stand. “It’s getting late, I gotta go home. Let’s walk together, Basil!” He beamed, taking her hand.

The two waved goodbye, and then it was just Hero, Mari, and Kel.

“Uhm…” Kel said, smiling. “Could I maybe hang out with Sunny a bit longer? You guys can go have your couples time, or whatever.” 

Hero nodded, blushing furiously as Mari interlocked their fingers. She smiled. “That’s fine with me. I’ll see you later, Kel!” He gave a small wave, sitting on his knees as the two walked away.

Mari rested her cheek on Hero’s shoulder, the church doors closing behind them. He smiled, squeezing her hand and looking upwards. Dark purples and blues were smudged carelessly across the sky, clouds littering the atmosphere. Stars twinkled above the two, lighting the way home.

After a few moments, Hero broke the silence.

“Are you scared?”

Mari frowned, glancing his way. “...Scared? Of what?”

“Moving.”

She looked back up into the sky.

The stars danced around her vision, with the occasional lamp post shining down on them. It smelled faintly of petrichor.

“I think… I’m fine.”

Hero looked at her.

“Are you?”

"..."

Mari swung their interlocked hands and smiled. “Of course I’m fine! My mom says it’ll be a good thing for all of us. I’ll miss you all, but it’ll be nice to get out and see a new place for once.”

She squeezed Hero’s hand, looking his way fondly. “Don’t worry, I won’t get another boyfriend or anything!”

Cue the furious blushing. Mari admired how cute he sounded when he was stuttering out denials that no, that wasn’t why he was asking, or whatever… She just enjoyed his embarrassed face.

She sighed. “I’m not too scared. I’ll have you all in my heart, anyway, and we’ll keep in touch through letters! And I’ll always visit.”

The two approached Hero’s front door. Mari leaned in, giving him a kiss on the cheek and smiling . Hero blushed, glancing away. “I love you, Mari.”

She giggled, giving him one last hug.

The usual routine happened. Mari came home late, and her parents were eating dinner. She wasn't hungry. As soon as her bedroom door shut behind her, her face fell.

She had half a mind to change into more comfortable clothes before she fell on her bed, reflecting on the day. Maybe she should’ve been happy.

Mari felt fine.

That was it.

Chapter Text

Mari sighed, laying down on the picnic blanket. Thoughts scurried through her head, but she felt somewhat empty.

The painted sky was oranges and reds splattered haphazardly across the atmosphere. A contrast to the dark green of the grass. Somewhere in the distance, she heard the chiming of piano music. It was quiet. It was peaceful.

“...!” Basil said. Mari heard his grin, but she couldn’t see it.

“...” Aubrey chimed in.

“! …!!”, Teased Kel.

Sitting up on her elbows, Mari finally glanced at the group. Four blurry people came into view.

People… Well, it was certainly Hero, Basil, Aubrey, and Kel. Just a little more crudely drawn, she supposed. 

… Oh. She’d done this before, hadn’t she?

“...!” Kel said, glancing over at Mari. Aubrey, Basil, and Hero responded in turn.

Mari rubbed her eyes, her friends finally focusing into view. Kel turned to her, smiling. “Whaddya say? Should we visit Sunny?”

“Hm, well-”

Hero put his hand on top of Mari’s, smiling awkwardly at Kel. “Actually, don’t we have something else for Mari? We can visit Sunny later.”

“Oh, you’re right.” Kel smiled. Aubrey beamed as she stood up, dusting the grass off of her skirt. “Lead the way, Hero!”

Hero intertwined his and Mari’s fingers as the five of them walked together. Trees towered over them, bushes lining the dirt pathway. “Is this a surprise? Or can I know where we’re headed to?” She giggled. A bush scraped her ankle, but she paid it no heed.

Aubrey bumped her arm into the older girl, grinning. “Nope!” She popped. “It’s a surprise! It’s really special!” A thorn was caught in Mari’s skirt. She tore it loose.

“Oh, before we get there, Mari,” Basil piped up. “I wanted to let you know, we found something that belonged to you. He was really important to you, so we saved it as a surprise!” Mari winced as another bush cut a deeper scratch into her skin.

Basil yelped as Aubrey bonked him on the head. “Hey! It was a surprise! No spoilers, Basil!”

“Oh! Sorry!” He smiled sheepishly. “I’m not very good at keeping secrets…”

Kel sighed, still lingering at the back of the group. “Don’t worry Basil! She’ll be really happy to see what it is, anyway.” By now, it felt like the branches had pierced through her legs. And yet, she walked.

“I’m sure whatever it is, it’ll be awesome.” Mari said, genuine. “If it’s from you guys, I’ll love it no matter what.”

A chorus of ‘awws’ broke out and Mari laughed. She felt safe. She trusted them, and she loved them.

… She’ll really miss everyone.

Before she could spiral into her thoughts deeper, a voice broke through her thoughts. “We’re here!” Hero exclaimed.

“Ooh! Mari, Mari- Close your eyes!” Two hands reached upwards and covered Mari’s eyes. She smiled.

The sun was warm on her skin as she was led into what she assumed was a clearing. She laughed. “Is this far enough? I wanna see!”

Mari heard the scuffling of shoes as the group gathered around her. Hero was the first to speak up. “We wanna know, Mari!”

“Know what?” She asked.

“Mari, how do you feel?” Basil chimed in, voice still light as ever.

“Well, I’ll tell you as soon as I can see.”

“I think you’re ready,” Aubrey giggled.

“Awh, just let me see already! I’m so excited!”

“I hope one day, you can tell us.” Kel added. “Mari, we… we really want to know.”

“... Huh?”

Light flooded into Mari’s vision. The hands covering her eyes had lifted, but the source of those hands were nowhere to be seen. A vast, empty field greeted her.

“... Guys? This… this really isn’t funny. What’s happening?”

Her chest thrummed with anxiety, bile rising in her throat. “Hero? Aubrey? Basil?” She called.

Mari looked around, nervousness on the verge of hysteria. They couldn’t do this to her. Not again. She… she couldn’t lose them.

“Oh… I’m sorry…”

The blood in Mari’s veins froze to ice.

“I… I disappointed you. I’m sorry…”

She was stuck staring ahead. She couldn’t see it. Maybe it couldn’t see her.

“Please! P-Please, answer me… I know I disappointed you again… it’s all my fault. ”

A hand grasped hers, tugging downwards. “I’m sorry! I love you, please, just say something!” It wailed.

“I know I’ll never be good enough for you, I just wanted to do something with you! I’m sorry!” It cried out. The dirt beneath Mari’s feet began to soften.

“Please, just answer me… big sis… ” She tried not to look. And yet, as she sank deeper into the ground, Mari’s head turned.

That… that wasn’t Sunny.

It couldn’t be.

Skin a dark gray, nearly rotting. Dried blood clumped in his hair. But his eyes… Those stayed the same. That was Sunny.

“I deserved it… I’m sorry.” He frowned. Mari let go of his hand, backing away as best as she could. Sunny looked even more despaired at this. “...Mari?”

She couldn’t be here. She was doing so well. She was fine.

Her trembling hands rose to cover her ears. But even as she tried, her eyes would not close. All she could see was Sunny. 

All she could see was Sunny’s corpse.

Mari woke up.

Her hands dropped from her ears, and they throbbed, now free of the tight grip they had been exposed to.

There were two days left before Mari moved, and she was fine.

Chapter Text

Knock, knock, knock!

A familiar rapping at the door. “Coming!”

Pulling on a light blue sundress, Mari fixed her hair and rushed down the stairs. The door loomed before her; but she knew who was behind it today.

Mari smiled as best as she could as she opened the door, Hero greeting her with a grin. “Good morning, Mari!”

The boy was dressed in a simple outfit; a blue and white flannel and some black jeans.

“Good morning, Hero!” Mari chirped. She looked him up and down, giving him a smug smile. “You look so handsome today! I feel a little underdressed, hehe.”

Hero squirmed a little, blushing furiously. “I- well- I wanted to look nice for you! A-and you look beautiful, Mari!”

“Aw, really?” Mari smiled, spinning around so the dress flared out in the way she knew Hero always fell for. She could practically feel the heat radiating off of his blush. “You flatter me, Hero! Now, are we just gonna stand here? Or are you gonna tell me the plan for today’s date?”

“O-Oh! Yeah!” Hero stammered, taking a few breaths. Mari giggled. “Well, I’ll keep some of it a surprise. But I know you like to know things, so I’ll give you a hint for our first stop!”

Mari just now noticed the blue backpack Hero had strapped to his shoulder as he dug inside it. From the bag, he procured a silver box and presented it to Mari with a smile. “For you.”

She gently held the box and flipped open the lid. A beautiful golden necklace shimmered in the sunlight, a butterfly charm hanging in the middle. Her eyes widened, glancing at Hero. “Oh, wow- this is… this is beautiful! Thank you, Hero!”

He helped her to put it on and Mari smiled, giving another twirl. “Well, let’s go already! I’m so excited!”

They walked a few steps next door to Hero’s house, where Hero’s dad waved from their car. Mari giggled as Hero opened the car door for her and she stepped inside. Soon enough, he joined her and sat next to her as the two made their way to the butterfly museum.

The sun had not set a long time ago, but Mari still yawned.

The two had a long day together- the butterfly museum, a fancy restaurant, a park, shopping at the mall… Mari was exhausted, but content.

As for now, the two were walking through Faraway Park and chatting. 

Mari glanced over to Hero. “Have you told your parents you’re planning to go to culinary school yet? It’s only two years away, after all.”

“Ah…” Hero trailed off. “Well, actually… I’m not too sure if I want to go into cooking anymore.”

Dramatically, Mari grasped his shoulders with wide eyes. “What?! When did you decide, Hero?” He laughed, pushing her off.

“A couple of months ago was when I really decided , but I think it started about a year ago.” His gaze became distant. “When… when Sunny died.”

Mari felt cold.

“After… everything, I’m still surprised we all stuck together. It helped that we were all there for each other, but Kel… Kel wasn’t the same. He’s still like that now.” Hero looked at Mari.

“I want to become a doctor. Like… a psychologist. I want to help people, because I couldn’t help Sunny. Because even now, I’m not sure how to help Kel.” Hero glanced into the sky, as stars began to litter the inky abyss. “I love cooking, but I would give it all up a million times just to have a chance to stop someone from doing what Sunny did.”

It felt as if she’d been dunked into a bathtub of ice water. Nausea gripped Mari, crushing her ribs and forcing the air out of her. Her skin prickled, and was numb. She gagged, her hand flying up to her mouth. Concerned, Hero turned to her. “Mari?”

“Mari, are you okay?” Hero grasped Mari’s free hand, but the warmth felt scalding on her skin. “Breathe, Mari, e-everything is okay.” He led her over to a bench and she nearly ripped her hand out of his.

“I-I…” She trailed off. Mari felt suffocated.

She looked at Hero.

One thing would end it all.

She had been smiling for so long…

Mari didn’t want to be fine anymore.

“H-Hero…” She said, tripping over her words as she still struggled to breathe. His hands flew to her side, hovering, wanting to help but not being able to. “Hero, I… I have something to tell you.” 

She forced the words out of her mouth despite the bile rising in her throat. Hero’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “...Mari-”

“HEEEROO!!!!” A familiar voice rang out from behind the two. Startled, Mari jumped to her feet.

Kel caught up to the two just as the ringing in Mari’s ears began to fade. Her breathing became a little easier.

“Hero, Mom says you have to come home! Like, right now!” He stated, hands on his hips. “You better not hope she found your candy stash!”

“Wait, just a minute Kel.” Hero turned to Mari. “I’m sorry… what were you going to say? It sounded important…”

Ah…

Mari smiled.

“It was nothing. Sorry about all that! You’d better get home before you get in trouble.”

"But Mari-" Mari shushed him. "No buts! I'm fine, Hero. Don't worry!" She gave him a small smile.

Hero spared one last glance at Mari, before running after Kel to head home.

She sank onto the park bench, looking up into the sky.

Her entire body screamed with the exertion it took just to sit. Deep breaths in, and out. Everything was fine.

Mari was fine.

Chapter Text

Shakily, Mari lowered herself onto the bench.

Her head swam as she processed what she almost did. Not only to herself, but to her family. Her reputation. Her friends.

Part of her begged to tell them. She wanted someone to lean on and talk to. No one- not even her parents- had figured out what happened that day. Mari was alone.

Was she even doing the right thing by telling them?

The thought grabbed onto her. Mari knew it wasn’t right, and yet… It was tempting.

Maybe after all she was doing them a favor by not saying anything. Maybe, it was easier to think Sunny killed himself.

Mari would be happier. Her parents would still love her. Her friends would still love her. Her boyfriend would still love her.

Sunny… He would want her to be happy, right?

They needed to know the truth, though. Part of her begged to let it out and tell them because they deserved it. The five of them had stuck together through thick and thin. They wouldn’t love her, but they would know.

Maybe someday they could love her again.

The two paths laid out in front of her. She needed to decide, or it would tear her apart.

Footsteps thudded against the floor as Mari struggled to stay awake. It was only two AM- she could do this. Sleep deprivation was no match compared to what awaited her in sleep. And yet, the steady rhythm of the dull steps begged her to close her eyes.

She couldn’t do this forever. She knew that. But it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Her friends might ask her tomorrow why she was so tired, and she hated having to waste one of the last days she had in this town nearly falling asleep.

Mari’s legs trembled with exhaustion.

… Sitting down for a minute wouldn’t hurt. Or at least she reasoned so as she sat on her bed. Just for a moment.

Staring up at the ceiling fan, endlessly spinning, her eyelids fluttered with the exertion it took to stay awake. Just a little longer…

Mari startled awake. No, no, she couldn’t fall asleep. She glanced out the window, but… was greeted with sunshine?

A wave of relief washed over her. She slept through the night, without any dreams! Or at least none she could remember.

Knocking at the door startled Mari and she nearly jumped out of her skin. “Mari! Breakfast will be ready in five minutes.”

“Alright!” She spoke, veiling the wobbly relief that threatened to leak through her voice. She did it. She was free.

She slipped on some casual jeans and a purple t-shirt, tying her hair up into a ponytail. Strangely enough, her head was clear. She felt light, worry free for the first time in a while. Humming a familiar tune, Mari opened the door and began to walk downstairs.

Sunshine filtered through the windows in the dining room, illuminating the floor with a warm glow. Her mother smiled. Her father waved.

He wasn’t covered in dirt, or moldy, or rotting. His hair was sleek and shiny and the sweater vest he usually wore was clean.

And Sunny looked at her, without malice or regret or desperation. “Good morning… Mari.”

She… hadn’t made it out, had she?

Sunny was dead, but here he was, in front of her. He felt so real. She still felt the warmth of the sun on her skin and the carpet underneath her floor. 

Everything was fine. Mari was fine.

She slid into the seat next to Sunny with a warm smile. “Good morning, Sunny! How did you sleep?”

He gave a small nod, turning back to his plate to devour the pancakes their mom had made. 

Mari felt like she was going to throw up. Everything was fine, though. She wouldn’t.

Their parents, chattering idly, faded into background noise. Eventually though, Mari heard her mother speak. “Say, Mari, are you excited to hang out with Sunny today? You’ve been so busy lately… I’m sure he’s excited too.”

Mari nodded, not daring to look at Sunny. “Yep! I am.”

“Well, you’d better hurry- it’s getting dark already!” True to her mother’s word, the sunshine had faded. She tried to glance at the clock that usually hung in their living room, but… it wasn’t there. Mari chalked it up to dream logic.

Mari stood up, Sunny taking her hand as the two came to the front door. The warmth of the summer night washed over the two, Sunny swinging their hands a little as they walked.

She didn’t dare to look at him, not knowing when her little brother would start decomposing again. 

“Ah… Sunny, where do you want to go?”

A normal, pale hand pointed them in the direction of the secret hangout. She gave a curt nod, and the two embarked on the journey. The chirping of cicadas were the only accompaniment, although Mari swore she could hear faint piano music.

Without a hitch, they made it to the area. Sunny skipped over to the dock, sitting on it and dangling his legs over the water. Mari looked away, and only when he made a disconcerting hum she glanced. He gestured to her to come forward.

She took a seat next to him. The stars moved in the sky, twirling like ballroom dancers.

“Mari…” Sunny murmured.

She wouldn’t look at him.

“Are you mad at me?”

She swiveled towards him immediately. “What?! No! No, Sunny, you didn’t do anything wrong, I just…”

She trailed off, silence filling the gap between them.

“I played violin for you, Mari. You were my big sister, and my best friend, and I would do anything to be near you… so I’m sorry. I… I disappointed you. I was angry, I should’ve just-” Mari’s arms circled around him in a tight hug, gripping him as if that wouldn’t let him disappear again.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she sobbed. “Sunny, I-I’m so sorry!” She hiccupped. “I… I don’t know how to tell them! I was s-selfish! I was stupid! I’m so sorry!”

She held onto him like a lifeline, begging for forgiveness. His skin and shirt was already stained with tears and yet they spilled from her eyes like a faucet. “I took your future away from you, I took your friends away from you… and everytime I see you, you always say you’re not good enough…” She pulled away, a weak smile on her face. “You would’ve been an extraordinary person, Sunny, and I… I should’ve died instead of you.”

His face twisted in grief. “Mari…”

She buried her face in his hair, still sniffling. “I wake up everyday and ask myself why I haven’t died yet. I tell myself that I’m fine, and that everything is fine, and I smile to make it go away… but I should’ve died, Sunny. I really should’ve.”

Sunny gripped onto the fabric on her back. “I…”

He pulled her off of him, determination glistening in his eyes despite the tears. “I forgive you, Mari. Please… don’t die. Please.”

She nearly laughed. “I deserve it, though. You can’t say I don’t.”

“But you don’t,” Sunny held her hand. “You were scared, and you were just a kid, and it was a mistake. That’s just a part of living… you just made a big one.”

“I forgive you, Mari.” His hand on hers started to turn cold. “You hurt me, and I’m still sad, but… I forgive you.”

Mari’s hand held his tighter, looking up at his face. His skin began to gray again, taking on a hue reminiscent of her usual dreams with Sunny. “I just have to ask you a favor before you go.”

Her eyes widened and she leaned in. His breath was cold as he whispered into her ear.

She pulled back, looking down for a moment, before nodding. “I’ll do it. For you, Sunny.”

Mari smiled. “I’m sorry.”

Sunny smiled too, the remnants of his faded form disappearing before her eyes. “Goodbye, Mari.”

Mari woke up.

She... didn't know if she was fine anymore.

Chapter Text

The doorbell rang. “Coming!” Mari shouted, running down the stairs.

Aubrey greeted her at the door, a quick and fast hello before dragging her outside. Before she knew it, Mari was out of breath and panting in front of Gino’s. Aubrey opened the door and led Mari inside to their friends, proudly showing off how fast she’d gotten her there. 

Mari sighed fondly and ruffled Aubrey’s hair, sitting down to give her poor knee a rest. Hero laughed, before turning to Mari. “So, it’s your last day! What do you want to do?”

She thought for a moment, barely keeping down the overwhelming emotions she’d managed to suppress on the run to Gino’s. “How about… a sleepover? It’s been a while since we’ve had one! Although, I’m not sure if it could be at my house.” She smiled sheepishly. “Everything’s in boxes.” 

Kel spoke up through a mouthful of pizza. “We could have it at our house! Just gotta let mom know.”

Hero nodded, finishing up his own plate of food. He gave his patented charming look. “I’ll convince her, don’t worry!”

Kel and Basil laughed, and Mari rolled her eyes. “You’re charming both ways, but I think you’re the most charming when you’re flustered, pretty boy.”

Hero’s eyes widened, taken aback at the direct flirting. “A-Ah, well, I…” He stammered, blushing redder than a tomato. “I! Have to go! Use the bathroom!”

The four of them laughed even harder as Hero rushed away. Mari sighed, laughter dying down. “I hope I didn’t embarrass him too much…” Kel elbowed her in the side.
“He’s fine! Don’t tell him I told you, but… He doesn’t mind when you do it.”

Mari smiled in relief. “Good.”

Kel’s shoulders relaxed a little seeing her expression. Aubrey clung to Mari’s shoulder, nearly pulling her away again. “C’mon! Let’s go do something, just us girls! It’s been forever since we last hung out!”

Mari laughed, letting herself be pulled again. “Okay, okay. Where to?”

“Hmm,” Aubrey thought for a minute, before her face lit up. “I wanna go swing with you, Mari! Let’s go!”

She nodded, and began following Aubrey to the playground. Hopefully Hero wouldn’t mind her being missing…

The gentle breeze ruffled the two girls’ hair as they swung together on the swingset. Aubrey seemed happy just basking in Mari’s presence.

After a moment or two passed, though, Mari heard a faint sniffling. “Aubrey…?”

Said girl was turned away from her, but Mari could tell she was rubbing her eyes furiously. “I-I’m sorry… I wanted to be happy today, but…”

Her tear-streaked face turned to Mari. “I miss you already, Mari… what if we don’t ever see each other again? I’m scared!”

“Oh, Aubrey…” Getting off of the swingset, she pulled Aubrey into a tight hug. “I know. I’m scared too. But,” She got down on a knee to face Aubrey. “We’re friends, right? And if we’re friends, then I’m sure we’ll meet again.”

Aubrey sniffled a little. Her expression hardened into a resolve, though, and she extended a pinky. “... Pinky promise?” She croaked, voice rough from crying.

“Pinky promise.” Mari linked their fingers, beaming.

Aubrey giggled, the tears drying already. “Mari…” She stood up, brushing the dirt off of her jeans. “Hm?”

“... Could you push me please?”

Mari’s head throbbed a little, but she smiled anyway. “Sure, Aubrey.”

“We’ll be right back!” Basil gave a small wave as he and Mari separated from the group to head to a different section of the museum. Kel and Aubrey wanted to see the music section, so Mari decided to accompany Basil while Hero stayed back with the two.

Mari and Basil idly chattered as the two walked through the greenhouse, admiring the plants on display. She was thankful for the soft mist that fell over them, cutting through the harsh warmth of the sun.

“... and this plant was so hard to grow. It kept dying on me!” Basil complained, frowning. “Maybe I can find the groundskeepers and ask them about it.”

Mari frowned too, studying the plant. “I’m sure we can find them somewhere. These plants are so well taken care of!” She turned to him with a smile. “You guys can swap your plant whispering secrets.”

Basil laughed, ears tinged red from the heat. “Yeah!”

The two kept walking for a few moments, before Basil stopped. Mari turned around to look at him, eyebrow raised.

“Hey, Mari…” He said, fidgeting with his hands. "Do you… do you still miss Sunny?"

She could feel Basil studying her as she thought. She looked at him earnestly. “I… I miss Sunny. Every day I miss him, and I just…” She trailed off.

Mari sniffled, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “He would’ve grown up to be an amazing person, I just know it. He was an amazing person even before he…” She was cut off as Basil hugged her, arms wrapped tight around her. She melted into the comforting embrace, trying not to cry.

He was crying, though, and his voice was weak with tears. “I-I miss him too… everyone seems so happy, and I just… I just can’t seem to move on… I miss Sunny. I wish he were here.”

Mari’s stomach felt like an empty pit, guilt gnawing at her insides. She sighed, pulling back and wiping Basil’s tears. “We have each other, don’t we? And I know that Kel, Aubrey, and Hero all miss Sunny too.” She tried her best to smile comfortingly.

Basil glanced at the floor, wiping the tears from his eyes. “... Does it ever stop hurting?”

“No,” Mari breathed. “Grief doesn’t go away… but someday, life will grow bigger around it.”

He smiled, mournful. “That… that sounds like something Sunny would say. Thank you… Mari.”

The cicadas chirped a quiet rhythm, contrasting the rain beating against the windows of the room. 

Mari sighed for a moment, Hero cuddled into her side. She smiled fondly at him, remembering their conversation earlier that day.

“I don’t know what it was you wanted to tell me yesterday,” Hero said, “But you seem a lot happier today. I hope whatever it was got resolved…”

It wasn’t resolved yet. And, she still had a favor to do for Sunny. 

Speaking of, Mari didn’t miss when the door creaked open and gently shut. Kel was awake.

Her heart beat at a million miles a minute as she prepared herself for what would come next. Deep breaths offered little comfort to her anxiety, but she did them anyway. Practice makes perfect, she supposed- maybe one day she would be a little better at comforting herself.

Gently, she pried herself out of Hero’s grasp and got up. The floorboards did not creak for her, and she made her way to the door.

It would all be over in ten minutes. Or less.

… Did she really want to do this?

No… she had to do it. For Sunny.

For herself.

The door creaked open. It wasn’t unusual for Kel to sneak out in the middle of a sleepover; Mari had seen him before. Hero told her he had some bad insomnia.

The door shut behind her, quietly. He wasn’t at the bottom of the stairs this time, but Mari quickly spotted him making a beeline for the front door.

She followed him quietly, until he came to sit at the dock in the secret hangout. As gently as she could, she took a seat next to him as he sniffled and cried.

It took a moment before Kel registered her presence, and he glanced up. Wiping his tears furiously, he turned back to her with a small smile. “Mari? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I… I followed you. Is… are you okay, Kel?”

He smiled, but it crumpled quickly as fresh tears began to roll down his cheeks. “I… I’m fine, Mari. Everything is fine.”

She frowned, leaning in to hug him. “Oh, Kel…”

He flinched away before she could hug him- and she pulled back. Kel smiled apologetically. “Oh, sorry… I just- I don’t really want to be touched right now, but… thanks anyway.”

“It’s fine,” she said, leaning back. “You always leave the sleepover for a bit, and I don’t usually try to pry, but it’s my last night. I would regret it forever if I didn’t see if you were okay.”

Kel glanced up at the sky. The stars were twinkling… maybe a sign from Sunny, Mari supposed. She was doing the right thing.

“I miss Sunny more and more every day.” He breathed. “I hope it wasn’t obvious, but I sort of had a crush on him,” Kel said sheepishly.

Mari giggled, and Kel turned to her, flushed. “What?”

“Well, he actually said he liked you too. Do with that information what you will,” She smiled.

Kel flushed even further, hiding his face in his hands. Mari could still see his smile, and after a few moments, he began to speak again.

“Sometimes, though, I can’t remember what he looked like. His voice, his smile, I used to be able to remember it so clearly, and I just feel so guilty because of it.”

He sniffled, turning to Mari. “I don’t want to forget him, Mari. I don’t know what to do…”

She looked down into the water, her reflection staring back at her. 

Now was the time.

She had hurt so many people… Sunny could rest.

“Kel, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Please tell Kel for me. Even if you don’t tell anyone else, tell Kel. He’s been hurting for so long… He deserves to know the truth.”

She took a deep breath, anxiously awaiting Kel’s response.

“... What?”

Mari looked away. “I’m so sorry, Kel.” Emotions were overwhelming her to the point where she could barely force out the words.

She didn’t dare look at him. She didn’t deserve to.

“Mari… this is a joke, right? It’s… it’s not funny. Mari, this isn’t okay. You can’t joke like this.”

She steeled her resolve, looking at him. “It’s the truth… I know I can’t apologize enough for it. I’m sorry, Kel.”

A few moments of silence passed, before she felt hands on her arms. Kel shook her furiously. “What the fuck, Mari?! What is wrong with you?! ” He pulled away, holding onto himself for comfort. “You’re fucking telling me that everything I’ve gone through, everything Basil, Aubrey, and Hero have gone through-” He laughed, a sickening sound. “Is because of YOU? ” 

“You killed Sunny! You tore our friend group apart! I’m MISERABLE because of you!” He grabbed her once again, looking conflicted between punching or slapping her. Fear rose in her throat like bile, the two still standing dangerously on the dock.

“Mari, how dare you?! How dare you take him away from us?! AND HOW DARE YOU ACT LIKE NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED!” Kel roared, grip feeling hard as steel. “You have no shame! You acted completely fine for the last three years, and for what?! Do you even care that he died?!”

“Of course I do!” Mari spat. “I loved him, and I killed him!” Her anxiety built up like bricks in her stomach, agonizingly heavy. He wouldn’t let go, he wouldn’t let go, and Mari began to panic. 

“You should’ve died instead of him!” Kel sobbed, “You… you’re a selfish monster. A horrible excuse for an older sister. God, S-Sunny…”

The realization of what she’d done suddenly hit Mari.

Aubrey, Basil, Hero, they would all find out. Sunny was wrong. They wouldn’t love her anymore. They would hate her, just like Kel.

Mari couldn’t handle it.

But… Sunny wanted her to tell the truth.

Do you want to tell your friends the truth?

Chapter Text

Do you want to tell your friends the truth?

Mari chose:

Yes.

Kel looked at her with a disgust that absolutely broke her heart in two. Although she knew this would happen, it still hurt. The small hope she had that things would be okay was demolished with one glance.

The most trusting, the kindest, the light in the darkness that Kel was, now turned cold against her. She would rather have been burnt to death. 

Mari knew she deserved every single awful thought running through Kel’s head right now. But all she could think was, I wish Sunny was here.

The scene was familiar in every sense of the word. She could still feel the soft cotton of her white dress; the wooden texture of the railing was burnt into her fingertips.

“We saved for MONTHS to buy you that violin!” Mari screamed, furious. “You ruined everything! Sunny, what is wrong with you?!”

Sunny’s face was a contorted mess of despair and fury, only able to make frustrated whimpers and screams. Mari would’ve stopped if she knew what would happen next, but this only served to anger her further.

“God, Sunny! What am I going to tell mom?! The recital’s today ! We have to do this! I have to do this!” She banged a hand on the railing. 

There had been so many solutions, yet she was blind to see them.

Sunny sobbed, a strangled ‘i’m sorry’ making its way from his lips. Mari’s eyebrows furrowed, tears still rolling down her cheeks. “Just… Just don’t talk to me, okay?!”

Sunny reached out. A plea, a request, an apology. His hand was on her arm, and it burned.

“Don’t touch me!” She screamed, pushing him away.

Time froze. Everything went still.

Sunny’s face was ingrained into her memory. It haunted her worst nightmares and waking moments. Mari was helpless as she stared at him, stuck mid-fall. Eyes still trained on her, mouth open, a scream.

He looked terrified. Miserable. 

Apologetic.

A sickening crack rang through the space.

“... Sunny?”

“H-Hey… Sunny, are you okay?”

“Sunny?!”

Her socked feet thumped down the stairs. Sunny… He was okay. Just a little tired, maybe?

She knelt down beside him. “Did… You fell asleep, right? I’ll um… I’ll take you to your bed, Sunny…” Her voice quivered. His eyes were closed.

His breathing was feeble and weak. Like a fluttering bird in a cage. Dread seeped through every pore of Mari’s skin, ice cold and thorny. 

She laid him down in his bed, tucking him in. 

Mari needed to call the paramedics. An ambulance. Anyone… right?

No, no… Sunny was sleeping. He must be… he must be really tired.

And the phone was so far away. She needed to watch over Sunny. Everything was okay.

She would just sit here for a while, and watch Sunny.

Everything was okay.

And Mari…

Mari was fine.

“Kel…” Mari whispered.

Mari didn’t need to see his face to know how he looked at her. “... What?”

“Please… don’t tell the others.” Hot tears rolled down her face. “I need to tell them myself. I-I need to… I need to make things right.” 

Silence stood between them, nothing but the chirping of cicadas accompanying the night. Mari looked up at Kel, a strangled expression on his face. He looked away, refusing eye contact.

“... I can’t believe it. After all these years,” he murmured. “It was all because of you. Everyone looked up to you as a big sister and a friend. I just- I don’t get it. I don’t know what made you do what you did.” A droplet fell to the ground. “You could’ve called an ambulance. 911. Anything. And you… you chose to do the worst option. You hid it for years, and for what?”

“I don’t know,” Mari said simply. A beat passed, a small noise. A laugh. It grew louder in sound, Kel looking on horrified as Mari sobbed with her laughter. “I don’t know! It should’ve been me instead of him! E-Every single day, I wish I had died instead of Sunny! And I deserve it! I deserve everything that’s about to happen! I’m an awful sister,” Her hysteria died down into just tears once more. “And there’s only so much I can do to atone for what I’ve done.”

It was silent once more.

“I’ll tell everyone where you are.” Kel muttered. “I’ll leave your things at your house. Please… don’t come near me again.”

His shoes crunched on the dry grass as he walked off, and Mari was left alone with her thoughts.

It didn’t take long.

Hero was the first to see Mari, running and throwing his arms around her neck. “Where were you?! We were all worried sick! Mari, are you okay?”

Aubrey was next, similarly hugging her. The dried tears were evident on her cheeks, yet new ones still came. “Don’t do that ever again! M-Mari!” She cried.

Basil was last. 

He too came to Mari, frowning and telling her not to scare everyone like that.

Mari didn’t think Kel would tell anyone, and it was evident he didn’t. But the way he looked at her…

It was if he saw right through it all.

For just a moment longer, she enjoyed the warmth of her friends’ hugs. It was the last she’d ever have.

Mari pulled back.

“I have something to tell you.”

“Mari…” Sunny looked down at his feet. “I’m sorry…”

Mari sighed fondly, no longer angry. “... I forgive you, Sunny. I know you didn’t mean to. I’m… I’m also really sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you. It’s not your fault the toy got lost.”

He sniffled, hugging her tight. She ruffled his hair, pulling back. “You’re a good kid, Sunny. I know we can make it right. Don’t blame yourself… okay?”

Sunlight filtered through the curtains, warmth spilling over the side of Mari’s bed.

She groaned, rubbing her eyes and adjusting to the new light as she awoke. She didn’t remember her dream anymore, but the lingering nostalgia was comfortable.

Mari checked her phone. No new messages. That was to be expected, Hero was the only one who’d gotten her number. Aubrey needed space. And Basil and Kel... She was endlessly sorry.

It was another new day. And Mari was not fine, but maybe someday, she could be.

Chapter Text

Do you want to tell your friends the truth?

You chose:

No.

Kel looked at her with a disgust that absolutely broke her heart in two. Although she knew this would happen, it still hurt. Maybe she’d been holding out a morsel of hope that this would be okay, but by now, it was extinguished.

Nothing would be the same. Her friends, her family… they would all know. They would hate her just as much as she hated herself.

Mari didn’t know why he was still there. Waiting for something to happen, maybe? But all she could say was a hushed, warbled ‘i’m sorry’.

Her chest was tight, her throat closing up. She couldn’t say anything more; for the better, she supposed. Kel gave her one last glance. “Don’t come near me ever again. I’ll… I’ll leave your stuff at your house.” He paused. “And… I’ll tell everyone where you are. They’re probably worried,” he murmured bitterly.

He left, grass crunching underneath his shoes. And Mari was alone.

The sun began to creep over the horizon steadily, warm sunlight touching Mari to her bones. Like a warm hug. Like Sunny’s hugs…

She couldn’t do it.

She couldn’t tell them what she’d done.

The emotions had nearly subsided by now, tear tracks dried and sobs no longer wracking her body. All that was left was cold guilt. Her feet felt like lead as she dragged her body over to the dock, looking down into the lake.

It stared back. A miserable expression contorted her features.

She hugged herself one more time, imagining that it was her friends.

Mari thought of Aubrey’s sweet smile, the way she laughed and how she liked to braid Mari’s hair. She thought of Hero, who’s clumsy flirting and caring nature always made her fall head over heels.

She thought of Basil, so smart and loving. He would take care of their friends after she was gone.

She thought of Kel. The glue of their friend group. The light in the darkness for them all, always so positive and optimistic. She remembered every time he left the warmth of a sleepover to not worry them all. 

Mari wanted the best for all of them, and only the best. So doing this…

She looked back down at the lake, sunlight glimmering on the ripples. This was it. She could atone for killing Sunny. She… she could end all of this.

Do you want to jump?

Mari chose:

No.

Mari broke out of her trance with a gasp, backing up and shivering. What… was she really about to do that?! Her friends- she couldn’t hurt them like that! 

Even if they knew the truth, wouldn’t they just be more hurt if she died too?

A newfound determination glittered in her teary eyes as she dashed through the forest entrance to the town, ready to tell them all.

She would die someday. But not today. Her friends needed her.

But most importantly…

Kel shouldn’t have the burden on him to tell their friends the truth. That was something only she could do.

The sun shone down on her fully, a wild dash to get to Hero’s house.

She had made it nearly halfway across the road when she noticed the glimmer of a car in her peripheral.

Mari saw everything that just happened, and everything that had happened before her eyes.

"We'll always be friends, no matter what, Mari!"

"I'm glad we're always there for each other, especially after Sunny... Thank you, Mari."

"I love you, Mari. I couldn't have a better girlfriend."

"Even if you and Hero are super gross sometimes, you make him really happy. I'm glad you're here, Mari."

And her body thudded to the ground, head making a cracking noise against the pavement.

Was this… how Sunny felt?

She could hear the panicked cursing of the driver, but it was muffled. It was nice… quiet. Her head was warm and fuzzy, even as cold creeped up her limbs.

The sun was so beautiful today.

Mari… needed to get up. To go to her friends. She couldn’t die yet.

But she was so tired.

So maybe a nap would be okay.... Just this once.

And she would go to her friends, and maybe they’d hug her and tell her that it was an accident.

Yeah… that was right.

Her eyelids were so heavy as they struggled to stay open. So they didn’t.

Just a quick nap.

Hero clutched Kel and Aubrey to his torso, desperately trying to get them to not see the scene in front of him.

Despite his best efforts, though, Aubrey’s tears were now staining his shirt as she held onto him tightly and cried.

Poor Basil just looked dumbfounded as he stared at the scene. The shock was wearing off, though, as Hero spotted tears running down his cheeks.

The ambulance hadn’t even arrived yet, but it was clear what the outcome would be.

If he hadn’t known any better, it would’ve just looked like Mari was asleep. The crimson puddle under her head shimmered in the sun like a silk pillow.

Kel was silent.

And Hero…

He wanted to cry, but he had to stay strong for Basil, Kel, and Aubrey.

Hero was not fine.

But he could pretend to be.