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Will groans. There’s a weight on top of him. His shoulders hurt. He feels slightly suffocated.
There’s hair near his mouth. Will rubs his eyes as he sits up, registers the mop of black hair, and the boy holding him tight.
Nico. It’s Nico’s hair that tickles his mouth, his weight that holds him down.
Nico, his best friend.
Nico, his boyfriend?
As Will slowly blinks the sleep out of his eyes, Nico shifts next to him.
He looks up at him, and his brown eyes soften, lips tugging upwards, as he whispers like a prayer, “Will.”
“Nico.” Will swallows. He can’t meet Nico’s earnest eyes. Nico doesn’t notice.
Nico sits up, the denim jacket that he adorns even in the hot weather hanging off his shoulders. “Will.” He says it like he still can’t believe it.
Will can’t either.
Nico’s hands lift up to run a finger throw Will’s soft hair, as he pushes the blond curls out of Will’s eyes.
He leans upwards, and chapped lips meet his. It’s just a peck, really, but Will freezes all the same.
Nico’s eyes are closed, the sun is coming in full blast through the window, and Will can’t move.
His eyes stay open for a second too long, before he closes them and remembers to kiss back. Nico doesn’t notice. He sighs happily, returning the favour.
When they break apart, Nico speaks first. “We should go back, Austin and the others are going to start getting worried.”
“Yeah, we should.”
Will offers a hand to Nico after he gets down from the bed. Nico takes it with a smile.
They’re both fully clothed, of course. The previous day’s capture the flag had exhausted them, and finally taken them down in the form of a mid-day nap some hours ago.
Austin spares no time to start teasing them as they walk towards the pavilion, and Nico glares at him hard enough that he tones it down just a little.
Will smiles awkwardly.
*****
Will nudges Nico's shoulders, passing him a marshmallow. Nico shakes his head. Will nudges him again, a playful smile on his face. “Take it.”
“‘ts too sweet.”
Will laughs at Nico’s pout. “Come on, it’s tradition.”
“No.” Nico moves to rest his head on Will’s shoulder. Will laughs, used to his antics. He brings up his marshmallow stick and rests it near Nico’s mouth.
Nico pauses, then moves forward to take a small bite. A few seconds later, Will’s been robbed of his food as Nico happily eats it, in excruciatingly small bites.
They stay like that, Will making small jokes and Nico humming in response.
Austin’s gone somewhere, to complete an ‘important task’, though Will doubts that’s the real reason.
They’re alone, Nico’s speaking of the French spirit he had befriended when he accidentally shadow-travelled to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Will laughs in surprise as he listens to the tale. The bonfire continues radiating heat in small spirals, and there are beads of sweat forming on their foreheads and the back of their necks.
The fire is reflected on their skin, and Will is happy.
Will smiles at Nico, an honest smile, the one he flashes as he looks at one of his favourite people in the world.
Nico pauses mid-story, mouth closing as pink erupts on his face. He looks at Will, leans in.
Will hesitates, hesitates but leans in too, faces meeting in the middle.
When they pull apart, Nico smiles at him, as one of his hands slowly shifts to touch his on the bench.
Will feels…
*******
It’s not like Will doesn’t love NIco.
Will does love Nico! He lets Nico eat the last slice of the pizza, (at least he’s eating something instead of starving himself), and he doesn’t even mind when Nico plays with his guitar.
(Ask anyone in the Apollo cabin what happens when someone messes with Will’s guitar, and you’ll be met with shaking gazes and awkward laughs.)
Will doesn’t mind it all, because he trusts Nico. He loves Nico.
And Nico loves Will. He doesn’t flinch away when Will wraps an arm around his shoulders.
Will loves Nico, and Nico’s in love with him.
It’s so similar, yet so different, They’re parallel lines on the same plane, always in sight but never really intersecting.
Will wants Nico to be happy. And he’s always had a hard time saying no to people he cared about anyways.
It’s not Nico’s fault at all.
*****
Will doesn’t remember it all that well. It’s ironic since it’s one of the most important moments in his friendship with Nico.
He thinks it was a Thursday, and Will had finally managed to convince Nico to try archery.
“I’ll teach you, come on!”
They practised, Will rested a hand on Nico’s and taught him how to aim correctly.
(Did he stand too close, maybe? His mother did say he had a problem with boundaries. )
Nico smiled at him as he shot a perfect hit after hours of toil. His eyes crinkled as he raised his hand for a high-fi, and his face was heated not only by exertion but also something else.
Will wasn’t blind. He noticed. He thought it might happen. He convinced himself he was wrong.
They kept the bows in their places and removed the arrows from the training dummies to put them back in the quivers.
Before they could head back, Nico nudged Will’s hand. “Can we go to the lake? Please.”
Will noticed Nico’s posture, closed in on himself, his eyes transfixed on the ground. Something uncomfortable pooled in his stomach. “Sure.”
The walk was mostly silent, except for the crunch of dry leaves made by their shoes, and the rustle of branches as they moved them out of their way.
The Athena Parthenos stood upright, the dimming sun making it look even more majestic as they reached the lake.
Nico sat near it, careful not to dip his legs inside. He found out the hard way that the nymphs weren’t too fond of children of Hades.
He pat the spot next to him. Will sat down. They admired the scenic view in silence and watched the nymphs play an ancient sport they don’t recognise deep underwater.
Will relaxed, and then Nico put his hand on Will’s. The warmth was welcome, but it didn’t reach the pit of Will’s stomach the way it must have reached Nico’s.
Nico cleared his throat, his eyes were shut tightly. “Will…,” he began.
“Yes?”
“I think…I think I–”
Will scrambled to get up. “Hey, don’t you think it’s getting kinda late? Chiron’s gonna get mad. We should go.”
He turned around, back facing Nico as he took steps in a direction he didn’t know anything about, other than that it was away from that dread gurgling in his stomach.
A step. Away.
Thud, thud, his feet echoed off the ground with the rustle of leaves.
Thud. Away.
Thud. Away, away.
Thud. Away, away, awa–
“Will!”
Will stopped walking, because whatever it was, Nico was his friend, first and foremost.
He could hear Nico’s nervous breath even though they were so far away. When Nico spoke, his voice was amplified.
“I like you! I…I really like you.”
Will knew it was coming. Not explicitly, but his consciousness had picked it up. He was even more glad that Nico couldn’t see his expression.
He replayed their interactions in his head, meeting him at the battle, seeing the demigod everyone steered away, avoided like a plague.
Will looked, and he was confused. For he didn’t see a plague or a sickness, he just saw a demigod who was pale and ghastly and lonely and trying so , so hard. Will wasn’t scared.
To his surprise, they’d become quick friends.
And Will cared so, so much. He knew Nico did too, though his affections were a little more muted.
It’s a shame that Nico’s love sprouted right from his centre, his heart, in a sharpened arrow while Will matched it in intensity, but fell short in force as it flowed through his body instead, in comforting, familiar pumps.
When Will had met Nico, Nico had been strong, there was no denying it. Here was a demigod who could raise skeleton armies, who survived literal hell. Yet there was something about his ferociousness, that made him even more fragile.
One wrong step and he’d break. It probably wasn’t all that true, but Will had seen Nico slowly accept for himself that he could get accepted. Seen him make friends who cared about him, and learn to care for himself.
Hell, if Nico’s new life at camp was a movie, he’d be the narrator.
He knew Nico had changed, that he was almost, if not just, as strong mentally as he was physically. But the part of him that had seen the other Nico, couldn’t help but shelter that image of him.
He wouldn’t be able to bear seeing Nico fall apart, more so if it was because of him . He understood the overwhelming courage and trust Nico had put in Will with those three words, expecting a response or not.
Will always hated seeing any form of disappointment in the eyes of his loved ones. His mother had shown that expression way too many times.
(“You have trouble saying no to people, don’t you? You always accept whatever the people you care about say, whether it be requests or assumptions,” his mother had said once, casually as she sat at the dining table, guitar in hand.
Mother was always right. He did have trouble with that.)
A nagging rational voice in his mind hovered in circles between his temples, saying what he was doing was wrong, and that he would end up hurting Nico even more in the future.
The future, it whispered the future .
But Will couldn’t, his heart hurt at the thought of Nico’s hopeful expression crumbling. Worse, what if he blamed Will? Blamed him for leading him on, for giving him hope.
What if he cut contact with Will to get over his feelings? Or if he stayed but the touches, the carefree smiles and conversations became tensed.
Maybe Will was the one who was actually on the brink of a breakdown because he felt like vomiting at the thought of it. Nico was a constant in his life, he couldn’t lose him.
(“FUCK!” His mother’s scream had echoed off their way too-empty walls. Her mascara was dripping down her cheeks in angry black lines, as WIll watched his mother exist in the realm between screaming and crying.
“FUCK! THAT- that shithead…,” she’d said as her voice finally cracked and she collapsed like a marionette whose strings had been cut. With her, she brought down another poster, clawing at it.
It joined the ground with the broken vases and photo frames, the smiling faces of Will, his mother and another man, his father, though it never felt that way, mocking them.
Will stood there, trembling, not sure what to do as he watched the person he looked up to as his guardian, as someone invincible break into pieces in front of him. He didn’t know what to do.
He wanted to help…he wanted to. What should he do? He hated that feeling.
His mother wearily looked towards him, as if finally realising he was present. “You look too much like him, you know…”
Will tugged self-consciously at the tip of his blond hair.
His mother took a shaky breath, and what she said kept repeating itself in Will’s head for a long time, and when he forgot it haunted him in his dreams.
“If anyone you love is about to slip away, do anything, anything, you can to keep them, instead of thinking or you’ll face these,” she points to the mess in their apartment, eyes terrifying blank, “these consequences. ”
And what could Will do, except for accepting it as a fact? A mantra of life stamped on a boy far too young for the scene in front of him.
It’s okay, Mother must have been right. She always is.)
Will loved Nico. He wanted to keep him.
The thinking voice said, angrily, that Nico wasn’t that kind of person, that he wouldn’t blame Will, and that he would take the rejection in stride. But he shouldn’t listen to that voice, or the consequences would arrive, right?
So Will turned around, shutting off the grimace that had formed on his face and all the memories that had surfaced in the span of the few seconds he had stilled.
“Me…me too.”
He hoped Nico didn’t notice the tremor in his voice, Nico knew him better than anyone, he would’ve, but the nerves must have been messing with him too, for his eyes widened like he wasn’t expecting an answer at all.
“Really?” Nico’s voice sounded an octave higher.
“Yeah”. Will added more strength to his voice.
Nico’s face broke into the brightest smile he’d ever seen on him, a pretty blush on his face. Will couldn’t help but smile back at him, a genuine one, on instinct,
He walked over next to Will and hesitantly touched his hand to Will’s, eyes averted. Will obliged, taking his hand in his, palms clasped as they walked back to the cabins.
*****
Will watches, smile on face, chin in hand, leaning on the table as Nico shows tricks to Austin, making different types of bones haphazardly appear, as Austin tried to identify each.
Kayla slips in next to him, and the scent of pizza hits Will’s nose.
With a grin, he turns. “Kayla?”
Kayla holds a big pizza box, a grin of her own on her face. The mischievous twinkle in his sister’s eyes that either meant trouble or fun was in full force.
“Let’s just say, the owner of Delphi’s strawberry service has quite an appetite. Don’t worry, the Stoll brothers themselves made the plan.”
“Sweet!” Austin shouts as he notices Kayla, leaping over the table. Nico stops his demonstration and walks over with a small smile.
“Our token Italian will taste test!”, Kayla says with a teasing edge.
Nico grumbles out a half-hearted insult in response and Will laughs, loud.
There are some new things, how Nico’s eyes linger on Will’s face for a little longer than normal.
But some things have not changed at all, like their tomfoolery, like how Will forces Nico to eat his portion of the pizza and then slips one of his own slices into Nico’s plate.
Will tries not to dwell on it too much. He doesn’t want to ruin the mood with his stupid troubles, it’s wrong.
It’s easy to ignore the voice in the back of his head when they’re all laughing like this, enjoying each other’s company, even Nico joining in not too late.
And Will knows that eventually, Nico would realise that something isn’t right. That Will would eventually falter.
In the future, they’d have to talk. In the future, he would have to possibly break Nico’s heart. In the future, Nico might hate him, and it would be deserved. In the future, he’d have to be honest to himself and Nico about the way he feels, about everything, about the voice in his head.
In the future, in the future, the voice beckons him more and more the louder he laughs.
Amidst the laughter, Nico almost chokes on the pizza he’s chewing. Everyone quiets down.
Austin snorts.
Then something swells in Will’s heart, pure unadulterated love for the people he’s with, as they all break into fits of laughter again.
In the future, the thinking voice in his head continues, maybe I can love him for real, the way he deserves to be.
In the future, maybe he’d still want me, even after knowing everything, after knowing the depth of my actions.
In the future, maybe I could still make him happy.
*******