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"Would it have been a difficult one..." Train asked and hesitation, or perhaps fear, was causing his voice to tremble. Subtly, he moved his hands where she could not see, clenching as he carried on. "Had there been a choice for you to decide what happened in Stock town...in that castle?"
She did not turn to him, but Train knew his captain had heard the question as Sephiria's hand halted on the doorknob of his hospital room. The walk they just had together was enjoyable, and she even smiled at his joke when they bantered, so he figured it was high time he could bring it up. He had been unable to stop himself from pondering about it since he learned of how things turned out after he and Rinslet got away.
The look in her eyes turned to a glare for a brief second, caution sharpened and bared when blue irises stared at the long glass panel, seeing through yet not actually aiming at anything in particular. Her reaction got Train cowed on his feet, wondering if he had crossed some unknown line.
But he did not move, not even for an inch. His nails dug deeper into the palms of his hands as he told himself not to be hasty. Sephiria would not run from an inquiry, and if she had wanted to lie, she would have done it by now.
She blinked when they finally faced, and her regained composure indicated that she had decided on an answer. "Why do you wish to know that, Heartnet?" She asked with a quiet voice.
"It just...doesn't leave my mind," Train admitted truthfully. "So I think maybe it's something I should know."
"..."
"...Sephiria?"
"If...I had been given a choice," Sephiria replied, her tone was much softer and calmer than her previous attitude, than how it supposed to be for such a question. "...Then there would have been no choice at all."
She did not hide how she had tried to moderate the manner in which she spoke, hoping that should have been a coherent sign for him to understand what she meant by those words.
At the answer, Train just stood there, immobilized. His eyes, swirling gold and clear, showing neither relief nor anger, nor pain, simply gazed straight into hers.
It was not until then did Sephiria realize she had expected a different response.
Heartnet was always an honest man. What he felt strong, he would show clearly. However, this was not nothing.
Having seen and experienced so much, she could read right through his facade. Her chest tightened and Sephiria forced herself to keep their eyes locked. She straightened her shoulders.
"They are my men, Heartnet," His captain, former captain, muttered to him. "I must protect them."
There was genuine sadness in what she said, and Train could hear the bell of his heart rang when it sunk in. It was a gleeful tune, he assumed, knowing that she still cared about him enough to give him her empathy, to be hurt by the wrong she did to him, even when it was only because she had to.
At the same time, quicker than a reflex, he pretended that he was not affected by what was also there besides that sentiment, not ever perceiving the weight of her silent resoluteness.
She would choose without a shred of reluctance under such circumstances, but he believed he could overcome knowing that, as he had done every hardships coming into his life.
Seconds had turned into minutes before he loosened his fists. Eventually, at some point between speechlessness and soundless steps, Train had closed the distance. Number I did not resist when their warmth collided, her hands on his back while his hands found hers.
"Thank you, captain, for being honest with me." He listened to his own muffled voice, wishing he still had the mind to feel embarrassed. However, as his nose buried in the fabric of her shirt and she nodded against his temple, his thoughts were empty.
Train closed his eyes shut. Sephiria's strokes along his spine gave him comfort, her kindness returning emotions to his chest, for a newly broken heart could not recover so fast to feel on its own. Suddenly, nothing had ever changed. He was still a black cat and she his mistress; the mistress he knew would never abandon him, who would kill for his sake.
Suddenly, he was her choice once again, just like how she used to be his.
Train allowed himself to delve fully in the consolation of their shared embrace. In the secrecy of this moment, freedom was an awaiting reality, and there was no one else she could choose, in her arms existed him alone.
For now, he was the only one she held dear, and so was she.