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Peters has never been the type to get visibly angry or upset. He’s always been the Happy go lucky, good grades and decent nephew. He’s supposed to be Spider-Man, the hero that’s saved the world and brings hope to the people around him.
But he couldn’t do it this time. It’s like he can never complain- like he isn’t allowed to have feelings other than happiness and always be willing to help everyone else. He was supposed to be selfless, always prepared to protect and serve. But he just can’t. Maybe it was selfish and stupid but he’s had enough.
It started with small things. Aunt may expecting more from him, which wasn’t a problem. She deserves the world, she’s done so much for him that it only makes sense that he fulfills her request. Then it was the Avengers seeking his help, always coming to him for help fighting some jerk that decided to disturb the peace. It wasn’t that bad, hell, it’s literally his job. But then it was Mr. Stark and even his friends. For starters, Tony seemed almost disappointed when Peter didn’t live up to his expectations. It wasn’t that he didn’t care or wasn’t trying…he was just tired. He’d been doing so much and finals were approaching. However, his friends, specifically Ned, seemed to anticipate adventurous stories after each mission. But he couldn’t provide that. Either those stories were confidential or lacked general depth. He just didn’t have what he was looking for.
The thing that finally set Peter over the edge was Steve interrupting his study time. The man was seeking assistance in the capture of some new villain, one that he could easily do himself.
He hadn’t meant to be rude, he tried to hold back. Genuinely.
“Can't you just do it yourself? You’re like a superhuman and an adult. Can’t you see that I’m busy? I really need to finish this.” He snapped, slamming his textbook shut as he faced Steve.
“Oh. Yeah, sorry kid. I didn’t know you had things to do.” The older man replied, awkwardly turning around to leave through the window where Sam waited.
“No- I…I’m sorry cap. That was rude. Just give me a minute and I can go with you, ok? I’m super sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“No worries. Good luck with your studying. I’ll tell Fury you joined, alright?” Steve smiled, leaving before Peter could reply.
He felt like a total douche. He’d never replied to anyone like that. He was supposed to be easygoing, always ready to join a fight or at least prepared. That was rude, he was rude.
Parker frowned as he sat back down to continue his work. He managed to study but eventually succumbed to the guilt when laid down. He didn’t get much rest.
Yet that wasn’t as bad as the next. Peter had been doing homework in the kitchen when May arrived back home. He’d cleaned the house like usual and even went out of his way to prepare dinner. Honestly, he was kind of proud. He’d been rather helpful these days, always making sure to clean up after himself and tidy their Appartement.
“Peter, I thought I told you to take out the trash? It’sWednesday. It’s trash day.” May sighed, pulling the trash out of the bin and tying the top.
“Oh- I’m sorry. I forgot, I had a test this morning and got distracted. I’ll take it out right now.”
“No, It’s fine. I’ll do it myself. I wanted it out today so it wouldn’t pile up over the week, that’s why I asked you, I figured you’d be able to do this.”
“May, I’m sorry. I really didn’t-.”
“It’s fine.” May interrupted, throwing the bag over her shoulder with obvious annoyance. “I’ll be back, I’ll probably stop to get the mail really quick.”
She was taking a cool-down walk. Peter knew that kind of reply better than anyone. He clenched his jaw, frustrated with her lack of understanding and appreciation of what he had done for her. Practically throwing his book back in his backpack and swinging it over his shoulder before slamming the door shut. May didn't say anything but from the absence of communion the next morning her disappointment was obvious. However, this did nothing but fuel Pete’s anger.
Had he not done enough? Were his efforts not worthy of her appreciation? He forgot! He didn’t mean to. It happens! Why was she so upset with him when she's made similar mistakes?
Finally, there was Tony.
They were working on some adjustments for Peter's suit. Tony had wanted to add extra protective layers and try a new web gadget he’d made.
Truthfully, Parker had missed more than a few hours of sleep. Finals were in a few days and he’d been cramming as much study time as possible, it was like the information went through one ear out of the next. He just couldn’t keep it in.
“Underoo’s what are you doing kid!? You need to be careful. One mess up and that web could’ve shocked us both. Just- step away, ok?” Tony practically shouted, quickly maneuvering Peter away from the web dispensers where he’d nearly fallen asleep.
He didn’t mean to, he was just so tired. It was irritating. Couldn’t he see his sleep deprivation?
“Then maybe you should be doing this yourself since you obviously don’t need my help.” Bitterly replied, crossing his arms as he glared at Tony. “After all, you’re the one who made it.”
“Woah, I didn’t mean to piss you off Spider-Boy so calm down. Alright?”
Peter scoffed, rolling his eyes as he retorted, “It’s Spider-Man and I thought Aunt May was still at work, not lecturing me.”
Tony stopped what he was doing and turned to face the boy. “What did you say to me?”
“I said, I thought Aunt May was still at work. Not. Lecturing. Me.”
“Nope, that’s it. I’m calling your aunt.” Stark shook his head, reaching for his phone in his pocket.
Before Pete webbed his hand to his pants.
“Kiddo, undo this right now. I don’t have time for this.”
He shook his head, crossing his arms again as he stood his ground. “No. Don’t call May and I’ll undo it.”
“Peter Parker. Fix this right now, I’m not playing.” Tony sternly began, “You’re being very rude right now.”
Parker dryly laughed, “I’m being rude? Sorry that I upset you then Mr.Stark. I didn’t mean to.”
After so much frustration and underappreciation he just couldn’t stop. He’d been biting his tongue for so long, just letting everyone take and take.
“I don’t know but maybe I think this is total bullshit. You don't need me here. Aren’t you supposed to be like the world's most known genius billionaire? I’ve got more important things.” He should’ve stopped there, apologized, and unweb his elder, but he just couldn’t. The words kept spilling out of his mouth like venom, unwillingly taking his anger out on his closet superior.
“I mean, you could’ve just hired someone to do this if you didn’t want to work. I know they’d just love to be in your presence. I shouldn’t have even come here.”
Tony didn’t reply, simply waiting for the accusations to stop.
“What’s wrong Pete? You’re acting-.”
“What, bitchy? Like a jerk? Yeah well maybe I have to right to! Maybe I’m angry and annoyed! Ok? Maybe I’m mad at you and everyone around me. Maybe I feel underappreciated and taken advantage of! Did you ever think about how I feel? Do any of you think about how I feel?! Hell, it’s like all you guys want to do is take. You just expect me to keep giving and working- but I can’t! I’m done! I’m tired and frustrated. Nobody notices how I feel! I have stuff that I’m worried about and things I need to do but I always have to drop that to come help! You guys are the avengers! You shouldn’t be relying on me to help you!”
Tony frowned, walking closer to peter with confusion in his eyes.
“Stop. Don’t give me that look. Ok? I don’t want your pity or confusion. You should’ve noticed! I just wanted a Break. I wanted a chance to rest. It's like all I ever do now is work. I thought you guys cared? I thought that maybe- just maybe you would’ve noticed. Clearly I thought too highly of you.”
“Peter-.”
“I know! Ok? I know it’s stupid and I shouldn’t even be complaining. I know this is just part of the whole ordeal! I know that this is what I have to do! I know I don’t do sports or have a job! I know that means it’s the least that I could do. I know, ok?” Peter yelled, tears filling his eyes as he continued to rant. “I shouldn’t be complaining. I have it made. May works so hard for me to be comfortable and it’s an honor to work with you guys. I know I’m being ungrateful. People would kill to be in my position…but it just…sucks. I’m so tired of working hard to please everyone. I’m so tired of telling stupid stories and being forced to go on missions that you guys can do alone. I’m tired of cooking and cleaning only for it to go unnoticed. I’m tired of missing my study time so I can do what everyone else wants. I’m done. It’s like, no matter what I do it’s never enough. I don’t know what you guys want from me. What do you want from me?”
“Peter, I don’t want anything from you kiddo. You could’ve just canceled. I would’ve understood. I know it’s hard-.”
“No you don’t! You don’t get it. I can’t even be a kid. I can’t just be normal. You made that choice! You chose this life! I didn’t! This was forced upon me!” He was fully sobbing now, forcing out the angry words as his throat tightened and stomach cramped. “I couldn’t even spend my school trip normal! I can’t even just go to class like normal or decide things for myself because it doesn’t matter! My decisions don’t matter! I’m always forced into these situations. It’s not fair. You don’t get it. You don’t know what it’s like.”
Tony immediately pulled him into a hug, wrapping an arm around him as Peter cried into his shoulder.
It was stupid. He shouldn’t be crying like this, especially Mr stark. He’s supposed to be fearless. A fighter with nothing but ambition and delight to go around. He’s your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, the person you ask for help. He’s supposed to be what the people want. What the people need.
But he’s not. He’s a kid. He hasn't even graduated- hasn’t even had his first kiss or remotely held hands. He’s not strong. He’s emotional, sensitive, and everything a hero’s not. He’s selfish, sometimes self centered, and just a downright dick. He doesn’t deserve his title.
“You’re right. I wouldn’t understand…but I understand you. I know you’re stressed, I know you’re tired. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner. You mean so much to me kiddo. Ok? I’m here for you. It’s ok- it’s going to be ok. I’m sorry you didn’t get to make the choice. No one should have to go through what you’ve gone through.” Tony continued, “but you’re so strong. You’re a hero, kid. You deserve applause and care. You deserve a break. Just tell me, I’ll do everything I can to make this easier for you, ok? I can’t do that if I don’t know.”
Maybe it was because Tony had never shown such obvious affection but Peter couldn’t help but cry harder. He finally felt heard, like he had the right to complain. It’s honestly all he’s ever wanted. If anyone would understand, it would be Tony Stark. His hero, his idol. His friend.