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Things were going great to say the least.
Since Cody had joined the pack after outing his father's plans to the four guys, the five of them became literally inseparable. Cody lost count about how many nights I had spent with Everett in the gym helping him with his super strength or with Blake looking after her brother while she was working or just needed a break. That little boy loved him. Since the first time Blake brought him at the Briggs' because she had to babysit him, they hit off like crazy.
Cody was an easy person to be around with. He was talkative and definitely not the shy kind, so he normally got along with practically everyone and made friends without difficulties. He put people at ease and he liked to think about himself like a fun bloke. Apparently Danny caught up that too because, despite his general hesitation around people, he seemed to enjoy Cody's company. That was something that brought him so much pride and joy because he knew it wasn't something son easy to accomplish.
The situation with the twins wasn't so much different. Harlan and him had so much in common so it was like they had known each others forever. They matched perfectly and understood the others like no one else in the park could. Their friendship was growing and fortunately his crush for him was weakening. Harlan wasn't completely indifferent to his eyes -Cody doubted he would ever totally be- and yet he thought they worked better on the friendship level, even though they had the potential to be more.
Finally there was Luna. He couldn't properly describe his current relationship with that girl. She welcomed him in the pack with open arms, plus she was very sweet and always ready to help him or one of the others if it was needed. They spent countless nights together talking about everything, from the most general topics like boys -including her brother and that piece of shit of Austin- to the deeper ones like their relationship with their fathers. It wasn't like there was something between them (the only thought sent Cody an incredibly wave of disgust and he believed Luna was on his same page about that) but it was nice to have some kind of a best friend.
Even Garrett and Ramsey seemed content he had joined them. He kept truck of his father movements and when he could he tried to check the man's hidden work. Every new sign on the map or article pinned to its back were reported to the detective. They had even told him the whole story about what had happened since the twins were born to the situation with Baron. Nothing missed and Cody was officially considered a member of the pack.
He may not have already met Baron, but that decision was taken just for his own safety. In fact, even though Ramsey had marked him providing him safety from the wolf, that guy was still out of control and Cody wasn't sure he could last more than ten second if he decided to attack. It was better not to push his luck at the moment.
"Can you shout that fucking thing off?" Harlan barked throwing the pen he was currently writing with at Everett "I feel like I'm going deaf"
"That thing, how you like to call it, is a meditation frequency which helps me with my anxiety" replied the boy back from where he was sitting at one of the ends of the table where they all settled to study in the school hall.
"Your math homework are undoubtedly something that can cause you an anxiety attack" the irony in the blond voice was tremendously obvious
"Fuck off, Briggs. It's good to concentrate and this paper is definitely stressing me out. These stupid equations don't make any sense"
"I have something better you can call out with actually" Cody added innocently
"Snack time" Blake cheered leaning her head on Luna's shoulder "I could definitely use one of your treat, Malcom"
"Not a chance. You are not getting high at school" Luna scolded them "Beside, we are all smocking too much recently"
"Exactly my point" evidenced Everett "Thank you Luna. Apparently, you are the only one with some brain cellulars left"
"Oh no, Cody" Harlan gasped dramatically suppressing a smile "You are such bad influence on us. Please stop hanging out with us or we will turn into addicts"
The older boy and Blake burst into laughters while Luna just shook her head elbowing her brother. "You are the real bad influence here, Briggs"
"Everett please stop, you are hurting my feelings"
"Do you even had any?" Blake replied back before proceeding with nudging Cody's leg under the table with her foot. He smiled back and casually opened his backpack. "So do I need to take out just three candies?"
"We are all diabetics"
"Ok Everett, I'll take that as a yes"
Cody was about to open the sack where he kept his treats when suddenly Luna gasped and everyone turned to stare at her. "Oh my God guys, Austin just texted me again" she was genuinely shocked "How dare that pretentious piece of shit even think to talk with me again?"
"Just block his fucking number Luna like we all have been telling you to do for the past months" Harlan huffed annoyed even knowing she would never to that. The reason why his sister seemed still so caught up with the same guy who stabbed their older brother is a mystery to him too.
"He's right" Cody agreed "That guy is no good"
"What did he even want from you? Why did he texted?" barged Blake with a murdering expression painted on her face
"I asked if we could do something tonight and that he wished he could talk to me. Just that"
"Talk to you? After nearly killing Baron? He can't be serious" Everett added "Beside, it's the full moon tonight and we all agreed that we'd spend the night at yours. So no one has to make plans with anyone different than us for this weekend. And yes Harlan, I'm talking to you". He finished pointing a knowing finger toward the blond who scoffed annoyed.
"I know, Lang. You have been bothering me with this for the whole past five days" was his answer "Beside, must I remember you that I've been a werewolf for my whole life while you just happen to talk by a short experience? I'd know how to handle myself in any cases"
"Oh right because you have never lost the control you have on your normally calm and sweet temper around the full moon, haven't you Briggs?"
"Whatever" Harlan waved nonchalantly at him "The point is that I'm free tonight"
"Fantastic bacasse it's the first full moon we experience all together" Luna winked at Cody
"Should I be scared or take some sort of chains with me?"
"Very funny Malcom" Blake added "I'd suggest you stay home but I absolutely have to take Danny with me tonight because my father is working and I don't mind having my favorite babysitter around to play with him"
"You are such an ungrateful piece of shit" Cody faked offence "I'd never miss it, partially because it gonna be the first one with you but especially because your brother asked me to be there the other day when I took him to the park"
"It's incredible that that guy prefers a complete stranger to her sister's boyfriend" Everett huffed making the others laugh "It's so offensive"
"Are you seriously not scared at all?" asked Luna turning in Cody's direction "I mean, no one could blame you if you were"
At that, he just shrugged his shoulders. He knew everyone whit a bit of sense of preservation would be even slightly terrified to spent the night of the full moon with five werewolves. Yet he felt quite calm. H didn't find so much differences between that particular night with all the other ones he had spent at the Briggs' with them. It could have been for Ramsey's mark but he hardly believed any of them would have actually hurt him.
"Just take it like a balancing situation. You gave me your trust about the whole supernatural thing and I give you mine about you not doing any harm to me" he his easily "Don't ask me why, but I feel like there is nothing to be scared of. At least, not from you guys"
They all smiled at that. "Yeah, I have a good feeling too about tonight" Harlan agreed with a knowing smile and a nod in the direction of Cody's backpack.
"With your parents around the house?" Everett sounded exasperated
"You don't know it. Maybe Ramsey's inner wolf will take the best of her so that she's gonna need another kind of cool off alone with Garrett" Blake suggested faking an innocent smile and a winked at Everett who blushed immediately. "It wouldn't be so uncommon"
"I'm gonna throw up" Harlan had the most disgusted expression over his face.
"Please, someone kills me" Luna added immediately mirroring her brother's same feelings.
Cody and Blake laughed and the conversation flowed quickly after that. With their homeworks completely forgotten, they planned the whole night and decided to meet directly after school and going straightly at the Briggs'. Harlan was the only exception because he said he felt like going to the gym to burn some steam before meeting with them. He wasn't an expert yet, but it made sense if you asked Cody
"Oh for fuck sake Harlan, just say you are gonna meet your boyfriend. Stop spreading lies about needing a workout or all these other bullshits"
"First of all, he is not my boyfriend just yet and I'm definitely not lying" Harlan replied exasperated "Tia organises one of her kickback at her place, it's the first one since Phoebe...." He let the sentence go uncompleted. They all knew what he meant and it was still not a good topic to discuss, especially for Blake "He had invited me to go with him and his friends. Still I decided to be loyal to you both because if I came near Austin I'd chop his head off and also because I would have never heard the end of Everett complains if I missed tonight"
"And that's got tonight covered, not this afternoon" Blake pointed "I hardly believe the kickback will start this early in the afternoon"
"In his messages Austin said that they weren't supposed to meet at Tia's until 10pm" Luna said with a knowing look "You two would gave all the time"
"All the time until the sun sets. Then you got to come back straightly home"
"Everett, I swear to everything you believe on that you are gonna sleep in a doghouse if you repeat that sentence once" Harlan threatened "Beside he said had to go shopping with that piece of shit of his friend for their kickback"
"What do you mean by that? They didn't ask me for any of these" Cody replied while nodding towards his backpack
"Like Cyrus Nix ever would" Blake scoffed "And you are not the only seller in the city, Cody"
"Yes but I'm the best and the more convenient one to keep in touch" He explained "I'm spending more time at his boyfriend's house than at mine"
"Exactly"
"Precisely"
"You got the point"
"Maybe don't tell him that"
The four answered at the same time like it was the most obvious topic they have ever discussed. "Excuse me?" Cody gasped dramatically "Are you truly saying that Nix doesn't know about any of this?"
"Did you miss the part while Ramsey told you the story about how she, my own mother, brutally killed his father and the rest of his squad?" Harlan asked rhetorically "And, a part from that, what am I supposed to say to him?" he continued "Hey Cyrus did you know I have fangs and yellow eyes? I know it might sound strange to you but I was actually born a wolf, a werewolf sorry. Then Garrett took me and my sister home after our mother killed an intere group of people and we turned human. Sometimes I'm still affected by the full moon but it's not actually like in films. Talking about that, how about you come to mine tonight? We could watch something so then I'm gonna tell you how all the forest fire you have been arrested for was linked to my family. You could also officially meet Ramsey. How do you want to be introduced to her? Like my situationship or like the son of one of her victims?"
"You are right" Cody dismissed "That's brutal"
"What's brutal?"
For a second the entire pack froze on the spot. Everyone knew Harlan and Luna were twins. It was undeniable. They looked alike and were almost always together. In the morning they arrived at school in the same old jeep which has always been parked in the spot near the entrance on the right and which consequently the two of them came home with in the afternoon. The blond guy was also very popular so people have always been talking and rumouring about him for all his high school years. Everyone knew them. Everyone knew the grew together mostly attached at the hips. Everyone was aware nobody knew these two better than each others.
Luna swore that through the years she had seen her brother in any possible state of mind, feeling any kind of emotions and expressing it like he was used to. Yet she would have bet everything she had that the expression of pure fear which came across Harlan's face when he heard that voice was entirely new. He wasn't one who got scared easily. It was almost impossible to do that -the terrifying horror movies he obligated Garrett to bring him to see when he was younger where the perfect example - and still he looked like he could die in any second.
It didn't last for more than a half of second, even though they all could smell it what he was feeling. What they all were feeling.
Harlan turned around naturally, easily, like they had just been talking about the weather and smiled at the boy who was now in front of him. "Hi" he said with a pleasant smile just to be followed by the others who greeted him too.
Cyrus Nix distractedly did it back. His attention was centred to Harlan whom he was looking suspiciously more as if he was studying something than else. "I texted you"
"Yeah sorry, I didn't checked my phone. We were..."
"Oh I saw you were rather busy" The raven shifted mildly annoyed his eyes over Cody who just pretended to be talking with Blake as if he was unaware about the conversation that was going on right in front of him.
Harlan didn't like being interrupted but he said nothing about that. It was neither the place nor the right topic to discuss right now. "Well, obliviously because that pathetic excuse of your best friend apparently can't take the hint and leave Luna alone. We are all feed up about this situation and you really can't blame me"
"That bastard. He is a fucking genius" Everett thought. What Harlan had just said was realistic and covered perfectly the only comment Cyrus heard about the previous discussion. The raven couldn't have heard anything else or he would have blowed up the whole room or had a different reaction. Maybe insulting one of his closest friends wasn't the best theme to choose when the said boy was already pissed, yet it worked. It was just natural for Harlan to don't like the boy who had been treating her sister like shit and who couldn't leave her alone. Everett wondered what Cyrus would think if he knew the real reason why they hated Austin for.
The rest of the pack seemed to be reflecting on that too because they shared subtle looks full of relief. Harlan knew how to keep his back covered.
"Austin wants just to talk to her" Cyrus tried to defend him "He said he wants to explain his side of the story and why he did whatever brought him to be this hated by all of you"
"How sensitive" Harlan stood up "Well she doesn't want to and he should respect that"
"It's none of our business anyway"
Oh Cyrus, if you just knew...
"You are such an only child sometimes" Harlan shook his head slightly with a playful smile on his lips "What were you asking me by the way?"
"Just if you wanted to skip some boring classes and leave early seeing that you are too busy tonight to spend time with me" Cyrus asked innocently coming closer to the other boy "We could go somewhere else"
"It's actually very tempting and I would have asked you myself if I didn't know you were busy with your friends"
"Don't worry about that" the raven took in this hand the strings of the hoodie the blond was wearing and started playing with them "We could come back by the time Austin finishes his last class"
"Or" Harlan suggested fixing his glare on the other's bottom lip "He could go by himself"
Cyrus made a face "I promised him we would have gone together"
"See?" Harlan huffed annoyed "That one was made just to bother me"
The raven laughed and the blond proceeded to collect his things which were shoved carelessly in his backpack. "Where re you going?" asked Luna as if she didn't hear anything about the conversation her brother was being involved just a second before.
"With Cyrus" Harlan explained holding the bag over his shoulders "We are sleeping the last couple of hours"
"Weren't you supposed to go to the gym?" Blake asked with a knowing expression
"Plans change"
"You'd better not make ours change" Everett added with a threatening tone "One minute late and I will..."
"...sleep in the doghouse" Harlan rolled his eyes "I got it Lang. Just turn off that shit parent mode you have been on the whole week"
"Is he gonna be always like this or it's just for the special occasion?" Cody asked half laughing
"Normally he is even worse" the blond moved away from the table his pack was sat at and went towards Cyrus who had a not-so-hidden question painted over his face "I will see you all tonight and I'll be extra punctual." He laced his fingers with the raven's "Don't worry mom, I'll be just fine"
The last thing he heard while he was taking Cyrus away from the school hall was the other four telling them to have fun and jokes from Blake about the fun the two of them were going to have.
To say that Cyrus had said more than three sentences during the whole path from the school to the raven's house was exaggerating. The younger boy seemed already pissed when he first arrived at their table, but when the two of them were finally alone Harlan had the opportunity to see to which point he was. The blond kept trying to start a conversation and yet the other didn't seem to find the idea appealing seeing that he was acting so moody.
For a second, Harlan was reminded again why he didn't usually do relationships. He could't understand who or why was Cyrus mad at and for and he didn't even look like he had any intent to explain anything himself any time soon. What should he do?
"There is someone else at your house or it's just gonna be the two of us?" Harlan tried again while Cyrus unlocked the front door.
"Nobody is here" he marched inside "Do you mind?"
"Why would I?" he closed the door behind him and followed the raven.
"Just asking" he went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water "Feel free to take everything if want if you are hungry or thirsty or whatever"
"Such a gentleman and a good host" Harlan leaned against the counter "Unfortunately I'd like something else right now"
"We are not having sex" Cyrus brutally cut immediately "We agreed to go slow and I definitely didn't take you here to do that. I'm not one of your past friends, Harlan"
The blond raised an eyebrow. What was that? "First of all calm the fuck down" he said half annoyed and half angry "I don't know what's gotten into you today that made you such a prick but cut the acting Nix. You are not a five years old whose ice cream has just been stolen. Then I've never said you were anything like that. In fact, if my memory serves me right, I've actually agreed to take things seriously with you as we both are doing. I didn't came here with any intent"
Cyrus scoffed at that and shook his head and spoke with a plan tone "So what were you asking for when you said something else?"
"That's exactly the last point, so keep that fucking tone for something that deserve it and spare me the scene" he barged just to soften a bit a second after "When I said that I was just meant to ask you if we could talk so maybe I'd understand what is pissing you off that much"
Cyrus was starring distractedly at the glass he held between his hands and didn't seem to have any intent do say more, so Harlan continued. "Did I do something that bothered you?" his own voice now was calmer and his tone more gentle "Because I'm sorry if I did, I obviously never meant to, and if that is the case I want to confront you about it and maybe make it up to you. But I can't if you shut me off"
What he had just said took the blond by surprise, He had never cared much if the person he was seeing got pissed off because of something he did. He didn't care about what they were been through in general actually and the feeling was probably mutual. It was the first time he felt this need to fix what he had involuntary broken, to bring the smile back to the other boy's face and more in general to ask for forgiveness if he was truly the cause of that grey mood. Everything of this suggested commitment and yet it wasn't scary. Maybe Cyrus Nix was really changing him in the end.
Cyrus looked puzzled, as if he didn't know what road to choose. He was aware that Harlan's argument made sense, that in order to be fixed problem should be firstly discussed, yet he didn't feel so keen on opening up. It wasn't like he didn't trust him or wanted to keep him out, no those weren't his reasons at all. The problem concerned more himself that the other guy.
Cyrus didn't want to appear childish or needy. Not that he believed that Harlan would have made fun of him if he spoke, and still he felt like he was acting like an insicure clingy wife who was very luckily on the way to push his husband away if he didn't cut with that acting. Nonetheless, he couldn't deny that the boy if front of him was actually putting effort to make things work between the two of them. Cyrus could tell that all the interest that the blond was showing toward him or his willingness to talk and sort things out weren't exactly something Harlan was used to. And yet he was there for him, willing to resolve their issues and to not let what they had go wasted.
Cyrus sighed. He wanted to do thing properly too -especially because he was the one who firstly asked that - and this was his own chance to do that. "What are you and your friends doing tonight?"
Harlan frowned. "Excuse me, what?" He looked confused and the raven couldn't exactly blame him, so I rephrased without exactly looking directly at him "I mean, what are the plans of your group for tonight?"
"We are throwing some sort of kickback at mine. But why are you asking me that now?" Harlan still seemed puzzled "Weren't we talking about what was bothering you? Unless, off course, aren't my plans for the night to get you this pissed even if I'm really missing the possible reason to"
Cyrus huffed a breath annoyed: he was definitely a clingy wife. "Why didn't you invite me?" he pointed his eyes in Harlan's which had just widened a bit in surprise. "I mean, obviously you weren't forced to and we should definitely spend some time alone with each others' friends without the other around from time to time, but I still got the feeling that you'd prefer to keep that two worlds separated as long as possible"
"Cyrus that's not..."
"Like, I always invite you out whenever me and my friends organise something to do together" Cyrus kept going interrupting Harlan's attempt to justify himself. Now that he had started he wanted to finish and let it all out. "And I do that because they literally family to me and I'd like that you -a person who I care about too and that I wish I could keep for the long run- could also get along with them, both because I love having you around but also because now you are a part of my life so you should get involved with what is important to me"
Harlan's gaze was focused on him but he still wasn't saying anything, so Cyrus continued "I know things between you and Austin are complicated because of Luna and I respect that, I really do. If you need time you will have it as long as you need. I'm not referring really to this now" he sighed at that "But I really can't immagine keeping apart the two spheres of me I value more. It hurts me to even think about my partner -or the other way around for the matter - despising my friends to the point that they couldn't even be in the same room or worse"
"I'd love for you to have a closer relationship with Tia and Austin, or Phoebe is she was..." he paused and closed his eyes for a second. It still hurt and Cyrus doubted it would ever stop. That girl had been with him since the first grade and no metter how many times they had argued or seen things differently, they knew they always had each other's back and it had been proven many times through their years together.
Suddenly he came back to reality and slowly he reopened his eyes. He immediately noticed that Harlan had come a little closer and was now looking at him with concern. He seemed about to ask something and Cyrus realised he couldn't let that happen. "I'm sorry, I had a moment and I start spiralling" he added quickly with still all the intentions to finish to say what he had to -plus he'd rather avoid talking about his friend at the moment and a meltdown definitely wasn't what he needed-.
"Cyrus slow down a bit, ok?" Harlan suggested nevertheless gently pushing the raven over on of the empty stools around the kitchen "You looked rather worked up and you could use a pause. I want to explain my view of the story but you need to calm down first"
He shook his head a bit but went down and sat willingly. "I'm fine" he sighed with a tired voice. He hadn't noticed how fast he was talking until he felt his throat completely dry and aching, so he reached out for the glass of water he had poured himself before "Beside I just need to say another thing or two and I don't think I'll be able to shut it for another time"
"It's not for another time" Harlan protested leaning on the surface near the other boy "It's just until you catch a breath and stop looking like someone who is about to have a heart attack"
"My heart is just fine, Harlan" he rolled his eyes. His pulse might be a bit fast but it wasn't like the blond was able to hear it, was it? He needed to play it cool "Now do me a favour and shut the fuck up so I can completely let all out, would you?"
Harlan looked displease but oddly enough did what he was told, so Cyrus took his opportunity to begin again "What I was saying was just that I'd love to have all the people I care about the most respecting each others, at the bare minimum. Not that you are forced to do anything but I want to welcome you in my life properly and in order to do that you should at least meet the major aspects which composed it and start familiarising a bit with them."
"And do you feel like I'm not doing that?" Harlan asked.
"No, it's not that" Cyrus said more calmly "I know that you are trying to get along with them. I saw the way when you hung out with us you try to do small talks with Tia and to tolerate Austin so you won't chop his head off and there is nothing that made me happier. I know we are doing that just for my own sake. And you are doing it despite all the prejudices and the rumours around your name that happen to circulate among my friends"
"Yeah, I ought to admit that maybe it wasn't my best move to...." sleep with Phoebe's boyfriend in her own house. That went unsaid but they both heard it.
Cyrus shook his head "I don't care about that" he replied confidently "You made a mistake because anyway that guy was taken, but as much as it might hurt now she wasn't a friend of yours you owned your loyalty to"
"Still I shouldn't have done that"
"I agree but that's beside the point" Cyrus collected himself "What hurts me is that you can relate to my feeling perfectly"
"I'm not sure I'm following properly" Harlan frowned "What do you mean?"
"You also have friends you consider family as much as I do with mine" Cyrus explained "And don't even try to deny that. I saw the dynamic of your group the few couple of times I got the chance to be around them too. You all protect each others and would do anything for the others' sake. I noticed that when we just got out of prison and you and Luna still had to rescue Everett, Blake and her brother"
"I guess we got closer recently" He admitted a bit hesitantly
"And nevertheless you don't seem to be interested to include me in any way in what you just admitted is an important aspect of your life" he concluded with all a new kind of hurt written over his face "Again I don't want to sound like my intent is to force you to do things you might not be ready for, because if that is the case then I'm definitely just overreacting and I'm sorry for that. However, if it's not time that you need but it's just you that want to keep a distance between me and them because of whatever, then please have a good explanation for that because you are hurting Harlan"
Harlan paused and thought about his next words carefully "It's not time that I need, Cyrus" he said calmly "I've never been surer about anything or anyone as I'm about me wanting to keep you in my life as long as you allow me to"
"Then what's your good reason then?" the raven wasn't smiling but it was evident to Harlan that what he had just said did have the right effect on him by the way his heart skipped a bit and started to pound faster just right after that.
"That's the part that might upset you: I don't have any" he lied "I'm not used to this king of things, ok? I'm still warming up a bit around the whole idea of having a proper relationship with you because I want to have that with you and I couldn't imagine my life any differently right now. I'm so sorry if that hurt you in any way because I swear it wasn't intentionally. I didn't even realised I was doing something wrong until..."
"Stop it right now because you got exactly where all this situation stemmed from" Cyrus interrupted, then added with a sad tone "Exactly. You can be not familiar with all the dating stuff and that's ok, we agreed to take it slow and that is what we are doing, but do you really need someone else to tell you that when you decide to let someone in your life like you should be supposed to be doing with me, then you shouldn't keep them away from what really matters to you and just treat them like some secondary aspect? "
"That's not what I'm doing and you know it" Harlan defended even though his how heart sinked at the mare thought of the boy who sat in front him believing something like that "You are very important to me and I won't have you deny it. I wouldn't be here if you weren't. This has nothing to do with any grade of importance "
"Oh does it not, Harlan?" Cyrus laughed coldly without any real happiness "Because I'm very concerned about what you truly mean we you say that I'm important to you"
Harlan couldn't explain to Cyrus how different their groups actually were. That was what had led this argument to began in the first place. The raven couldn't understand that obviously, but, even though there might be some similarities between what they were ready to do for their component, the very bottom and all the roots of those relationship couldn't be more distant.
Cyrus' group of friends represented the well-known dynamic of the chosen family. They were close because they grew up and did everything together counting on one of the member for any kind of support, emotional and physical. They shared similar experiences and emotional baggage. Plus, they were used to leaning on one another if they needed a shoulder to cry, were in trouble or simply didn't want to be alone. Feelings and familiarity were the things that made the roots of their friendship and those were also reason why they understood each others so well. It was almost like they were all the different sides of a same person.
Harlan didn't have a group of friends instead. No, Harlan had a pack and that was completely different. None of them chose the others nor had they known each others for a long time - a part from Luna and Harlan, but that hadn't been a choice -. They didn't spend time together because they had no one else or have ever comforted or even being interested in what each one of them was feeling -even if those aspects were gradually changing lately-. It weren't feelings that glued them together. It was the secret and instinct. The same brutal instinct that he had sensed burning inside him since he was born a wolf and that he had shared with his sister and recently with Blake, Everett and somehow Cody too.
It was a need, pure and intense, or more specifically their own nature.
Of course he couldn't explain that to Cyrus, not without outing his secret to him. At that point he would have also understood why he hadn't invited him tonight, so all the partially fake explanation he was coming up with wouldn't be even necessary. Unfortunately he still couldn't convince his mouth to open and say those dreadful words. He was starting to trust Cyrus with you whole life, yet Harlan was afraid about the repercussions that revelations might lead to.
Their past was intertwined but just one of them knew all the truth. That was what scare Harlan the most. He didn't doubt that the other would accept any aspect of his life without judging, but him being went beyond the common situation of acceptance. Especially if it was considered whose Harlan mother was. How could he tell Cyrus what his own family had done to the Nix's? That Malcom had always been right? Would Cyrus see him like a monster too?
He didn't know and if things went as planned he never would, even if a positive outcome of Harlan's revelation would lead to no more lies, misunderstandings and miscommunications of any kind.
Harlan sighed. He was so going to hell for what he was about to say and he owned Cyrus better than that. "It's about Cody" he finally said, guilt spreading everywhere inside him.
"Excuse me what?" now it was Cyrus' turn to look puzzled, even if the hurt still remain drown clearly over his face.
"The reason why I never bring you over with my friends" the blond explained closing his eyes for an instant "It's about this new situation with Cody. Cody Malcom"
"Your drug dealer?" new kind of emotions were starting to come from Cyrus and Harlan could smell them all
"He is not my drug dealer"
"Oh sorry, I forgot. He is more like facilitator, isn't him?" he was rather annoyed "What's with him now?"
"While I was in jail Luna was left alone" Harlan started "Everett and Blake were being held too, so she was just her alone who had to find a way to help us."
"Help you to do what exactly?" Cyrus asked confused and the blond mentally cursed at himself for that. He couldn't say to Cyrus that his sister was trying to bribe the out from where they were kept.
"Help us find a way to demonstrated we hadn't done anything wrong, weren't mentally ill or had a decent enough family who's able to raise a child even if it was a lie" he explained. Fortunately Cyrus seemed quite convinced and said nothing, so Harlan kept going "At the beginning things were complete shit. Like, the more she tried to fin any evidence the more they seemed to get convinced that we were what we had been accused of"
"I remember how worried you were while we are kept at the juvenile together, but I imagined it was for the situation in general. I would have never guessed you were ripping your hair out because you were that concerned about your friends too" Cyrus evidenced with a sigh "But that's just another proof to my point"
"Let go of it for a bit, won't you?" Harlan barged starting to loose in patience. It wasn't an easy situation and yet he was trying to be the more honest he could. He didn't need to be remind Cyrus was literally taking the receipts -even thought that didn't mean he didn't deserve it-. The raven nodded and looked up at him "As I was saying, there wasn't anything that could prove there had been made a mistake and that put all the four of us in a very worried state, as you just mentioned before"
"Saying thank you to a God or whoever you believe in, all our problems got clear when Luna and Cody started to work together for a school project" the blond continued smiling a bit "They spent an incredible amount of time together and got real close. He kept asking how I was doing and was one of the few people who had always believed in my innocence even though we weren't that close and he didn't know me so well. He didn't have doubts about my innocence so he came up with the most crazy ass idea you could ever immagine: faking an alibi"
"What?!" Cyrus exclaimed surprised "And Luna agreed too.."
"Luna had already told Cody I didn't have a proper alibi for that night, or at least not one too strong -Luna was my sister, Everett was thought to be mentally ill and Blake a troubled teenager. No wonder they didn't believe us- So he suggested saying I was with him and that I had refused to say anything because he wasn't properly out yet and had a difficult situation at home where he'd rather not talk about his sexuality"
"As some kind of romantic gesture?"
"Exactly" Harlan confirmed the giant lie he was carrying on "He would have then managed to convince me to confess where I really was that night both knowing that he was still underage so he could request to be interrogate in a private, secure and anonymous way which wouldn't have included calling his parents because he was still over 18 or a lawyer because he was just confirming my alibi"
"You never told me that" Cyrus said "I knew you were being accused of something you hadn't done like they were doing with me, we've talked about that plenty, but you never mentioned what brought out of jail was something like that."
"I couldn't" Harlan said simply "You were grieving Phoebe's death and your situation was way more difficult than mine. You said I was stressed but I don't think you are aware about the mental state you were experiencing at that time -not that you didn't have all the reasons to obviously - and I didn't want to make things worse for you"
"How exactly Harlan?" Cyrus barged "Knowing you at least had a chance to get of there?"
"I know you'd have been happy for me. Yet in order to do that I had to literally lie to justice, something that could still result in crime I could be sent there again for, and I was doing it with a person you don't have good feelings for. I didn't want to stress you out more because of something whose outcome could have been as worse as keep staying in jail itself " he sighed "Beside, me going out meant leaving you alone there which wasn't a solution I was dreading to adopt. However that was the only chance I had to help my friends and you" Harlan added placing one his hand on Cyrus cheek who, despite everything, couldn't help but leaned in the touch of "to be freed as well"
"And you succeeded in that quite alright" Cyrus commented slowly with a tired look over his face "Still that doesn't explaining why you are keeping me away from them"
"I'm not finished in fact" Harlan smiled gently stroking his cheek "As you just said, once I was out I started working no stop with Luna to find some evidences that could have the three of you. Cody also tug along. I was reluctant at first but Luna trusted him and he was the whole reason why their plan worked in the first place, so I ended up accepting him too. After what had happened with me we were confident we could achieve everything we planned, and we did it."
"You were declared innocent and Everett mentally stable enough" he continued "Plus, with me being declared not a criminal, Garrett's parental adequacy resulted way better than before so I succeeded in obtaining the temporary custody of Blake's brother, until the court decides their own father will be actually able to get them back"
"You had already told that part" Cyrus added with an easy and proud smile "Moreover, I remember hearing Blake talking in the school hall with Lang about how grateful she was for what your family had accomplish in her regards. She looked beyond happy"
"I hope the fuck she was" Harlan confirmed with the same smile: strangely enough if compared to their troubled beginning, he was beyond happy for her too "That little gremlin is a brat and nobody was used to having a child running around"
"He isn't an easy one, is he?"
"No but we made it worked and Blake is practically living at our's too -between her and Malcom I don't know who she would trade me more for - so that made things a lot easier too. Still, to Everett's huge dismay, the person Danny clicked more with was Cody. That kid loves him like crazy" he commented "After that the situation settled quite rapidly. Not having her father around that much anymore, Blake desperately needs to work -not that we wouldn't help her for that but she would never let us to do that - so he could use someone trustworthy and with more free time than her and Garrett to look after her brother and the person to free her boyfriend and one of her closest friends is decent enough"
That part wasn't even a lie. He just changed the reason why Cody had started to hung out with them. It was more a half-truth "Among that, him spending so much time with Luna and working out at the same gym me and Everett do too, we just clicked together and he slowly became one of us"
"So what you are telling me is that your friends prefer a flirt of your to me?" Cyrus moved out of the touch seeming hurt all over again if not more than before "Is that the reason why you never invite me when you have plans with them? To avoid making things odd for me around them?"
"No" Harlan jumped instantly "That's not the reason at all. Me and Cody would never work out together like that, let alone more than you and me already do, and they all know it too. Also, my sister adores you to the point it makes me fucking sick. She is always -when is Cyrus coming around? do you have plan with him today? - " he slightly imitated her voice "and other similar things that make her giggle because she didn't have any hope left for that disaster of her brother to settle down and choose a perfectly decent guy."
"Again, her words not mine" Harlan continued "They have absolutely nothing against you, and honestly I couldn't give a shit even if they had. Don't think that now"
Cyrus still seemed unconvinced "So what's the fucking reason, Harlan?" he asked in a tired voice "And stop talking around the corners of it. Just arrive to the point and give me a valide reason for your behaviour which isn't an excuse or you trying to smooth stuff out for me. I'm not a fucking broken doll who should be handled cautiously"
"Instead what I'm doing right now should very well" the blond thought "We are still adjusting ok? With everything that happened..."
"Because we aren't?" Cyrus almost shouted "Do I need to remind you who will be missing tonight and all the nights after that from now on? Do you know how painful it is to keep going with your life when an important piece of it has been shattered away from it? Can you even imagine how much guilt we are feeling right just because we are trying to make things go back to normal which is never really going to feel like it again for any of us?" he stood up and his voice rose too "And nevertheless I bring you around when you let me both because I care and want to be around your stupid ass, but also because sometimes I just fucking need you there with me"
"So don't you dare playing the victim card with me, Briggs"
"In case you have forgotten" Harlan replied with a glacial expression which perfectly matched the glare in his eyes and the tone he was using "you are not the only one who lost someone. You are still grieving and I completely respect that, but spare me the rhetorical questions acting like I wouldn't know what that felt like. Especially not when you are perfectly aware that a fucking forest fire ate alive my biological parents and with them all my hopes to ever have a proper family to belong to"
"Harlan, I..." Cyrus tried sounding apologetic.
"Shut the fuck up, Nix" Harlan shouted interrupting the other. That was all the wrong argument to have during a full-moon and he had to keep the wolf at bay. Not that he feared he would ver hurt Cyrus, yet he could feel a certain burn behind his eyes signing that they weren't that far from literally glowing of anger "If you didn't remember it, my whole life has been shattered in pieces too that day -as well as yours obviously since your father was also caught up in the fire-"
"Everybody here has lost someone. Everybody here is broken, lost and shattered in pieces. Have you noticed that? Or do you want to make another comparison of some other kind?" the raven was silent. "Fantastic wise decision dickhead" the blond commented "And given that each of us is somehow damaged in some way, nobody better than us should understand that not everyone face pain in the same way"
"Everett has shitty parents who literally wanted to put a straitjacket on him and let him be drugged no stop with pills he didn't even need. Blake and Luna saw the only family they had left being thrown away from them who instead had been left on their own. Cody has a shitty father who could win a fucking award for that but I'm not talking with you about that both because you are showing the sensibility of a stone and also because it's not my dam place to tell" he had gradually started shouting "And for fuck sake Cyrus, I had been put in prison because the bastard that came into my house and fucking assaulted me had the brilliant idea to disappear right after that making me -the boy who had a beef with- the last person to having saw him"
"Nobody had no one during that time. You were being kept too, Garrett was too caught up with Ramsey and the other parents were the whole reasons why we were stuck in that situation. So don't talk to me about being alone and all the bullshit you just pretended I was overlooking because the only luck we had was to being able to string around each others at a time when we didn't even know we could in the first place" he continued "And that's the only similarity I accept to have in common with you and your goddam group of spoiled obnoxious asses you call friends who can't see further than their own noses and think the whole universe revolve around them"
"I'm sorry about what happened to Phoebe and please believe me when I say that I wish it would have gone differently for her" now his tone was calmer and his breath was starting to slow down "Partially because she didn't deserve that -I won't pretend that her death affected me directly that much- but mostly because it's hurting you and just the men thought of you in pain makes my head and heart do stupid things" he put as much honesty as he could manage in what he was saying because he wanted for Cyrus to feel that "However, we are still grieving too. And if your way to do that is by staying with other people and throw parties or whatever then I will be more than happy to support you and be by your side for anything. Yet just because it works with you doesn't mean it does with us too"
"I'd love to have you there with me because, admitting it or not, what we have been through was rather traumatising and I could use a shoulder from you too" he went on "But not with them in the same scenario. Because what I want it's not what they do and right now, for the first time in my life, I feel like I need to take care of someone else too. And right now all they wish for is calm and closeness so that they will elaborate what happened to them and eventually adjust to their new reality." he paused "And that's exactly what you, Austin and Tia are doing too, just following the way that work for you the best." he concluded "That's the whole point of grieving"
Cyrus was totally silent. Obviously he had listed to everything the boy in front of him mostly shouted at his face just a second ago, yet he couldn't define what he was feeling at the moment. Shame and guilt were in the mix for sure, but thing were going beyond than that. They were because what Harlan had said was completely true and it felt terrible to realise that he never noticed anything apart from his almost-boyfriend being a bit distant. The part where he had called then obnoxious asses couldn't be more true, for what concerned him at least.
He had been so stuck in his own pain and resentment to not notice that the person he was gradually falling for was hurting as well. He had just assumed and accused and right now he was sure he would be throwing up if his stomach hadn't been absolutely empty since morning. He would have cried too if he didn't look this pathetic already. "I'm sorry" he chose to say eventually "Harlan please I'm so sorry, I should have never.. I don't know where all that came from or why I have been this blind or self-centred or whatever.. I..."
Harlan just sighed. "Come here" he nudged Cyrus until there wasn't any space left between them. The raven clung to him hugging his middle while he kept apologising "I don't even know what to say. That was so stupid and I..."
"It's ok Cyrus" Harlan was gently stocking his hair and silently breathing his scent tasting all that the rain was feeling at the moment "It's a shitty period for everyone and you were probably just stressed and I should have talked to you sooner. With how the things are going on between us it was logical for you to have questions"
"Still, I should't have assumed" he leaned back just how much it was necessary to look the blond in the eyes "But you are right. The whole point of me, Tia and Austin throwing parties is because we are sick and tired to cry looked in our rooms alone. Still, it's not an actual party because none of us will actually have: it's just a way to turning off our feeling for a while because we all have spent so much time alone in our heads. Yet I couldn't imagine talking about this sort of shit with anyone, so it's perfectly understandable for you and your friends to take things easy until you feel ready enough"
"It mostly depends on the day, you know?" Harlan commented "Like, there are some days where everything seems to be returned in its place. Those are the times when it not so difficult to face the world and be around other people. However, they are not the majority and from time to time they.. we.. still need to close up a bit in the way each one of us is more comfortable to do." he paused for a bit "Again, I will talk about my experience because it's not my place to tell you about the others. But as for me, there are still days when I wanted to be completely left alone and I just need to steam off what is eating me inside"
"And was today one of those day?"
"No, not for me." Harlan smiled ad Cyrus' concerne "But there is someone else that right now needs a reminder that things will be ok eventually"
"Someone once told me that there wasn't any bad life, just bad moments" Cyrus quoted "I didn't believe about it until now"
"And I can finally confirm that whoever told you this was right" Harlan pecked him sweetly on the lips "Beside, even if I'm still learning how to do this properly, if I happened to have a bad day my friends wouldn't be the only one I'd have gone to."
"Really?" hope shined in Cyrus' eyes as strongly as some colourful insects were flowing around his stomach and which Harlan caught by his heart changing its beat. "Would yo really come to me if you had a problem?"
"Actually you are the person I'd most likely come to directly, if I felt like opening up with someone" -or better if I needed someone to just held me through it- "Because truth to be told I'm more into resolving what is happen to bother me on my own rather than asking for help and I still can't imagine myself do the latter with anyone. I will always be there for you or any of them, but personally I prefer resolving my problem by myself. I still haven't reached the point to turning to anyone when it comes to ask for help" he explained "Yet I feel like if I would ever do that with someone, you would be one of my best candidates"
And it couldn't be more true.
Despite things were gong quite smooth at the moment for his pack and the fact that they had just found out how good they worked together, it was also impossible to deny that sometimes all the weight of what had happened to me came crushing down on their shoulders. There were still times when Everett had anxiety attacks which needed to be calmed down or that Blake felt helpless in front of the situation with her parents and her worry for Danny's future. Not to mention Cody having to deal daily with that abusive shit of Malcom or Harlan and Luna's own parental issues.
During those moments they felt the bond that linked them together getting tighter. They were all people who had grown up learning they could count just on themselves in every situations, they were all used to solve their own issues without asking help to anyone no matter at what cost. Yet it was gradually becoming natural for the five of them to slowly open up a bit at a time with the other members, starting maybe with the one who they feel could relate more to what was happening and then moving to the rest.
At the beginning it was just small talks pushed around the edges. Now those were turning in proper conversations shared with people they could feel on their body will never betray or turn their back at them. It was a strange feeling to experience for loners like them, especially if they shared it also with someone who wasn't even a werewolf.
So Harlan wasn't lying when he had told that to Cyrus -actually the only lie I had told was about how Cody joined their group and his involvement with the blond getting out of prison -. Yet he couldn't bring himself to do open up as much as the others were doing. He would gradely have any kind of conversation regarding his friends feelings or what there were experiencing, however he was still stuck in the small talks stage when it came for him to actually expose what troubled him inside. He could listen, give suggestions and even comfort the other person if he felt particularly motivated to, but talking himself?
He couldn't do that. It wasn't even a possible scenario for him. Not even with Luna.
The only person he could remotely see to do something like that with was the boy in front of him who also happen to be one the people who more shouldn't know what they were hiding. Obviously Harlan knew that I could emotionally open up with Cyrus also about stuff not related the werewolf thing, and maybe one day he would. He felt that sort of calm when he was around Cyrus that had the potential to make him loosen up to a point that scared even the same Harlan.
He doubt he had ever felt at ease that much with someone and that was why hiding the truth from him was that difficult and hurtful. Especially considering that Cyrus had completely welcomed Harlan in his life under every aspect. The raven had immediately introduced Harlan properly to his friends who were clearly fundamental to him and even threatened Austin so that he would be less of an asshole to the blond.
He never hid his feelings about his terrible relationship with his mother nor he did with his hurt when he thought I didn't have a chance to be declared innocent and be freed from prison. He had talked to Harlan about his father's death and let the blond comforted him for Phoebe's one.
He was always very clear about what was passing through his mind and definitely wasn't afraid to speak his mind and say what he had to: right or wrong, truth to lies, today was the perfect proof.
Harlan wished he could reciprocate for as much as he was allowed and he was confident he was just on the right way to do that. He just needed time, like he did for many other things and Cyrus for as many as well.
On his own end Cyrus was smiling feeling like he was just given a trust very rare to obtain and almost impossible to keep for too long. But that sequence was what more described Harlan in general: It wasn't that difficult to capture his attention, but keeping it for more than a couple of hours? You should be olympic talented. And let's not even start talking about long runs.
"Maybe you aren't as heartless as like the all say" Cyrus commented ironically circling the other boy's neck with his arms "Maybe even Harlan Briggs has a heart buried somewhere inside all that muscles and bad temper"
"I think" Harlan started slowly grabbing with his hands at the other hips and pushing him closer to himself "that I've already proven that very well." Cyrus smiled and he continued "Especially to you"
"Oh believe me, you did" Cyrus agreed "However I'm still convinced we should work some more on the communication between us" then he proceed to mirror his tone "Especially you"
"Actually.."
"Today excluded"
"That's playing dirty, Nix."
"Too bad you are already folding then" he moved in hands so they were holding his neck "Otherwise you could have just shown me why I shouldn't do that"
To be fair, Harlan had stopped listening the moment he felt Cyrus holding his head in place or he would have replied something smart for sure. So it better than normal when the raven proceed to make their lips meet together just after he started talking no leaving room for any argument.
The kiss was both urgent and sweet. It wasn't the kind that led to sex, yet it was still as strong and hungry like they were trying to communicate all the things that were still kept unsaid through it. There was care behind it but also hope and fear, where past and future were as brutal. It was all mixed up so they were understanding earthing and nothing at the same time. And that very much was what described better their relationship.
When they parted, breathless and gasping for air, Cyrus leaned they foreheads together "We will be the death of me, Harlan Briggs"
"That's exactly what I'm trying to prevent" Harlan's tone was hoarse from the kissing but still the fondness in his voice was clear and it was matched with equal determination.
Cyrus didn't quite catch them but he still had appreciated the comment, so he smirked and finally moved away from the blond in order to head toward the fridge. "Are you hungry or I tired you too much already?"
"You flirt was too much for someone who still doesn't want to have sex" Harlan said playfully sitting on one of the stools "And I could definitely eat something by the away"
"I was just about to making some platonic remarks suggesting that you could eat me if you were that hungry, but given how easily you get aroused I'd opt for something else" he said while checking what he had inside they could eat "How about throwing a frozen pizza in the oven and make some italian get a heart-attack?"
"The pizza works from me and keep any sexual comment for yourself until you have grown enough bravery to come and to do actually something about the shit you are saying" he added back with one of his smirk and his famous flirtatious tone.
"Differently from what you are clearly used to, I like the person I'm seeing to put a little effort in me before let them rip my clothes of my body" Cyrus perfectly matched the other's acting "And talking about horny teenagers who can only think through their dick, would you mind giving me some more information about this whole new situation between you and Cody Malcom?"
Yeah, maybe things could go alright eventually.