Chapter Text
Life fucking sucked.
I mean, the cards I was dealt sucked. Not so much life itself, but all of the nuisances and ups and downs that came with it. I was grateful for the life I lived in; I had earned a scholarship to come study here in Korea for two whole semesters and I lived with my best friends. To anyone, that might sound like I have life made out for me — at least right now.
But it was hard slaving away to the societal standards of being a good student while also working a full time job. As a barista, I would say my work was simple and actually quite enjoyable. It's the low wages and dealing with the public that I find the most that snuffed out any flame of enjoyment. Even as an assistant manager, I basically ran the place with low reward. And I was so happy to be done for the day, I thought as I locked the glass door leading into the coffee shop behind me. 4pm was closing time and Momo, my best friend who closed with me, was out sick for a couple days so it was just me. I did the cleaning and setting up for the next day by myself for these past few days. Lately I'd been staying at least 30 minutes past close just to get everything ready for the opening shift the following day.
It fucking sucked.
I jiggled the door handle a bit, just to feel secure in myself that the door was actually locked. It was warm out and partly sunny, which felt good on my face. Exasperated and tired, I sunk into one of the chairs on the patio and rested my tired feet. I had a fifteen minute walk home which wasn't so bad, but I was tired and feeling... well... shitty.
I let out a long breath, finally letting out the sigh I kept trapped deep in my ribs for most of the day. I could feel my tensed shoulders slowly relaxing with each second that passed by. It seemed like I was dissociating for a second as I stared off into the distance at nothing in particular. I swear I didn't blink for a solid 30 seconds, and it wasn't until I felt a wet, salty trickle of a tear run down my cheek.
I quickly wiped my face, but another tear soon followed after. And another. And another. I sighed again, sniffling my nose. A part of me was frustrated and feeling totally silly for crying right now.
"Excuse me?"
I jumped, whipping my head to the side to find a woman standing there. She was about my age, give or take a couple years older than me. The woman was dressed nicely in a well-fitting black blazer, tan dress slacks and black heels. Her dark brown hair fell just above her shoulders in a stylish and trendy long bob. In her arm she was carrying what looked to be a laptop in a bag, along with a designer purse on her shoulder and her cellphone in her hand.
"Yes?" I questioned, feeling even more embarrassed now as I had been caught in the middle of a much needed cry. I hastily wiped my face, dragging my arm across my warm cheeks.
She looked over me, seeming to just now notice the uniform I was wearing. "Are you closed for the day?"
"Yes, sorry about that," I told her. "We are open Monday through Friday, eight to Four."
"Ah," she nodded. "What a shame. I've heard wonderful things about the lattes here."
I wished for her to just walk away and leave me alone in my own self pity.
"Yes ma'am, thank you. Please come back during our business hours if you would like."
She smiled, tucked her short hair behind one ear. "Thank you..." she paused; it was my cue to introduce myself. I could see her looking for a nametag on my shirt, which my backpack covered as I clutched it to my chest.
"Sana."
"Thank you, Sana." she said. "I will be stopping by again."
"Alright, thank you." I closed the conversation then, and pulled out my phone to hopefully ward her off. It seemed to work as I heard a click of her heels against the pavement, signaling to me that I would soon be left alone.
I had one unread text from Momo, saying: I'm so sorry for you having to close on your own, Sana chan
It's okay I quickly typed back. feeling better?
After only a couple clicks of the heels, they hesitantly faltered, then stopped altogether. Glancing up, I found her looking back at me curiously. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed with concern. "Is everything okay? You seemed upset..." She asks me after a moment.
"Oh..." I hesitated. It was nice of her to ask, but I didn't care for telling a complete stranger how tiring this life could be. "I'm okay, thank you."
"Are you sure?"
I nod and lightly bow my head, "Yes, thank you. Have a good evening."
The lady bows back before she bids me goodbye too, then she turns and walks off. Her heels click in a steady rhythm against the ground as she crosses the street and comes up to a sleek black luxury car. I'm sure it was well taken care of given it's shiny and spotless look. I watch curiously as she unlocks it and slides into the drivers side. After another quick moment, she drives away.
My phone dings with a new text alert. Momo responded, Come home safely~
***
I'm only a few quick minutes away from the house when my phone suddenly starts ringing from my back pocket. It pauses the song I was listening to through my headphones, much to my disdain. "Hi dad," I answer upon grabbing ahold of my phone and quickly reading over the caller ID.
"Hey, Sana," he says; he sounds tired and bleak.
"What's wrong?"
He sighs. "It's been a month since you sent over a check."
My lips move silently as I mouth a curse. "I know..."
He sounds irritated now. "You know that we need your help."
"I know, I'm sorry. I've had a lot going on--"
"You haven't come to visit me either. I'm still in the hospital, you know."
"Dad," I begged. "Tickets are expensive right now. I'm doing my best."
"Are you, Sana?" he scolds. "You knew the deal of studying there. You keep up with school and help with the bills."
I mouth another curse. I want to scream and tell him that I have bills to pay here too. Schooling, rent, the international cell phone plan I had to switch to when I first moved here. I was swimming -- no drowning -- in my own financial hardships, and my dad shoving the medical bills in my face didn't help. I sigh. my eyes sting with fresh tears welling at my waterline and I feel that familiar knot settling in my throat. "I'm sorry. I will send over money as soon as I can. I get paid this week, okay?"
He huffs. "Don't forget that we can pull you from school in Korea in a heartbeat if you can't keep up."
"I-"
Click. He hangs up before I can get another word out. I envision myself throwing my phone and just stomping on it. But before that, I'd imagine calling him back to remind him that just because he is sick and that I'm his daughter, it doesn't mean he has to treat me this way.
But I can't. So all I can do is walk the rest of the way home in silence; all while fighting back tears.