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Itachi was traveling along the road alone, when he felt a familiar sensation crop up.
He sighed, and stepped off the path he was on to lean against a tree. For the past few weeks, he's been feeling these waves of nausea, with churned up feelings he couldn't name. It'd ebb away eventually, and he'd go along his way in a few minutes.
This time, Itachi coughed. Sharp pains dug in his throat and chest as he choked uncontrollably. What used to be dulled, vague sentiments exploded with vibrant sensations with each wracked cough.
Longing aches, warm intimacy, sorrow, comfort, desire.
Itachi opened his eyes after that fit and looked down. Purple, darkened petals rested in his hand. Red droplets fell through his fingers and dripped on the ground. Oh...
Kakashi.
His name instantly came to his mind. It made sense, since their secret arrangements led to more than just sharing information and catching up. Itachi just never thought he'd feel this strongly about him...
But, this meant he should tell him. Confess to him. He didn't know how things would change, but his heart beat faster nonetheless. This realization wasn't unpleasant... Itachi wanted to know how Kakashi felt.
For now, he cleaned his hand off and continued on his way.
That evening, after Itachi was done setting up camp in a secure, concealed spot, he sat to compose the message.
'Let's meet.' The note said, as was the usual.
He considered what else to add. This was a... special occasion, so he should, right?
Itachi cut his thumb and summoned a crow. He rolled the message up, and tucked it into a tube, and then strapped it to the bird's leg.
In the end, he didn't add anything to the notice. It'd be better telling Kakashi in person, after all.
He sends the bird off, watching it get further away by the second. Itachi exhaled. He couldn't wait.
His anticipation for the messenger bird's return paid off. After a few days (has it always taken this long?), he heard wingbeats and his heart gave a joyful leap. There was a round, smooth pebble, teal in color.
It was a yes. They'd meet at Tanzaku Quarters.
"Kakashi," Itachi greeted him warmly. He was in a room at an inn. Kakashi had just walked in.
"It hasn't been that long since last time," Kasashi responded. "Feeling alone already?
Itachi smiled. "I actually called you for a different reason."
"Oh, inside information?"
"No. No, nothing of the sort."
Kakashi stared at him expectantly.
Itachi's smile faded slowly. Itachi does his best to keep a steady gaze towards him. It didn’t feel very romantic, but how else could he go about this aside from directly? He cleared his throat. "I've been showing symptoms of a disease. I believe it's Hanahaki. You've heard of it?"
Kakashi nodded.
"...I believe you're the cause of it." Itachi said.
It was quiet.
"And?"
Itachi blinked in surprise. The thought never crossed his mind that Kakashi would reject him, without a moment's consideration at that. "You don't feel the same way I do?" he asked.
"I don't." Kakashi replied coldly.
"What about the hours we've spent talking?" Itachi felt indignant, and he let it show.
"I enjoy your company. That's all." Kakashi kept his answers curt.
"So you risk so much just for a lay? I don't believe that."
"All those choices you make becomes harder for me to accept."
"I always did what I had to. My clan, attacking you. You know that."
"I get that you're in a tough spot. I understand the necessities of maintaining your status among the Akatsuki. But you go too far."
Itachi opened his mouth to reply, but Kakashi swiftly cut him off. "Do you remember the last time you encountered Sasuke? You brought him down and that's all you had to do. But you took the extra measure and put him in a coma. That's your brother that you claim to care about deeply, and you didn't even hesitate in going too far." Kakashi laughed derisively. "How would you treat your romantic partners, I wonder?"
Itachi was stunned, truly. The years of reliability and quiet comfort. Nights spent together to forget the world. A non judgemental haven away from missions, responsibilities.
it turns out that Kakashi's actually been compiling all those times away until it's become a mountain of loathing.
Kakashi moves his steely glare from Itachi's eyes.
"I’m leaving. This is over."
Itachi doesn't move or speak, even as Kakashi left the room and closed the door behind him.
...
No.
It's not true.
He has to come back one day. To see that I’m not some heartless monster that he claims I am.
He’ll come back. There was an understanding between them that even Kakashi couldn't reject.
There’s... love. He will be back.
...
Oh, there's that familiar wave again.