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Jae couldn't believe this was happening.
He secretly pinched his arm and winced when it hurts. A lot.
So this was real. This was happening.
After so many months of pining, he finally got to go on a date with Kim Hyunri.
But, okay, okay, he was getting ahead of himself, so let's just… rewind this a bit. It started earlier, in the afternoon…
***
“Oh, oh fuck, Ri, I'm close.”
Jae screwed his eyes shut, hands grappling for purchase on the sheets as she cupped his face for a searing kiss. He bucked his hips up, meeting her halfway as she continued to bounce in his lap. The coil in his stomach tightened and he gasped, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he went over the edge.
It amazed him, really, how after all this time (he couldn't believe he already used that word. It's not like they have been doing this for over three months- oh wait, they had) , she still never failed to blow his mind to smithereens.
He only came back down when she dug her fingers deeper into his shoulders, eyes blazing with sweltering heat as she said, “My turn.”
Jae sobered up in a blink, and he quickly hoisted her up to lay her down on the bed. He yanked her shirt open and ripped her bra off next, moaning in relish when his lips could finally find their way to her breasts. She too started moaning when his tongue played with her nipples, and her hand found their way to his now blond hair. When Hyunri started tugging at his hair and making impatient noises, Jae couldn't help but grin. He liked this side of her, all reckless passion and restless demands. It's a stark contrast to her usual self, and Jae thanked every higher being for giving him this chance.
Four months in, and Jae already knew how to work her. He liked to tease and drag things out, but knew that this moment called for another approach. So he slipped three fingers inside her, thrusting in and out while his thumb circularly rubbed her clit, all the while never removing his mouth from her breast. She moaned and bucked her hips up, and Jae hummed while his free hand kneaded her other breast. The stronger she tugged at his hair, the more Jae picked up his pace. He knew tension was building inside her with the way she let out a torrent of breathless curses, and soon her body went taut as she came apart with a loud scream.
Jae continued to lap her breast, fingers moving to stroke her thighs in consolation as the orgasm washed over her. Only when she went completely boneless did he move, trailing kisses upwards until his lips met hers.
“Hey,” he grinned when their eyes met. “Feeling better now?”
“Yeah,” she said with a half-smile. “Thanks.”
He grinned even wider and bent down for another kiss. He felt smug, because she was obviously satisfied, but also relieved.
He was admittedly surprised by her sudden “Are you home?” and “I'm coming over” texts. It wasn't like they kept a schedule of when to meet. But they had developed a comfortable routine of teasing and flirting over the texts which would culminate in an arrangement to meet up, either in the bar or in his place. This sudden visit was unusual. Especially because she looked cross, so much so that she yanked him by the collar and forced him to bend down for a kiss even before the door was fully closed.
She was always fiery, but this afternoon, she was blazing and Jae was consumed. Fuck it and fuck me , she had demanded when he fumbled with her shirt, and Jae obeyed. She barely gave him time to discard his boxer (thank god he was a slouch at home) and put on a condom before she pushed him to the bed and climbed on his laps, riding him with her clothes still on. He was dumbstruck, and to be honest, a little infatuated. Well, even more infatuated than he already was.
Because when she bounced in his laps like that, growling for him to put on some work, she was just so fucking hot. And Jae couldn’t do much but get burned.
So yeah, he was relieved that he had managed to give her what she came for, lest he risked her walking out of this affair.
(It was inevitable, Jae knew, but he still hoped against hope that their expiration date was still a long long time away.)
He flopped next to her and he had just started nuzzling on her neck when her eyes landed on the clock on the opposite wall and she cursed.
“Fuck, it's already 5.” With a groan, she said, “I need to take a bath.”
“Lady, you really need a course on how to savour being this filthy,” he commented, sneaking his arms under the fabric of her shirt and around her waist to snuggle closer to her. She let him, but still sighed.
“I got a date at 6.30.”
Jae felt his heart drop, but tried to play it cool. He got no choice but to do so anyway. “Well, I must say, after that perfect appetiser, your main course would have a haaard time living up to it,” he said in an imitation of a chef from a certain cooking show he knew she watched.
(She told him, okay. It was in no way because he was an obsessive creep.)
“Dork,” she slapped his arm, but it was playful and she didn't object when he started kissing her neck, only closing her eyes as she let his affectionate gestures calm her down.
“He called, earlier on. He didn't even ask me out, he just stated that he managed to steal some time for a date tonight. Like I’m one of his groupies who’d drop everything for him.”
Jae stayed silent, only continued peppering soft kisses on her neck and shoulder while drawing patterns on her waist to assure her that he was listening. He gathered, from their more frequent rendezvous and the few words she let slip, that it has been over a month since she last saw Kyuhyun. She should be elated about their upcoming date, but it was clear that she wasn’t.
“Thing is, I did,” she sighed. “I bailed on my college friends because of him. Again. Not sure they’d forgive me this time, but it’s… him, you know.”
Yeah, Jae knew. Throughout their affair (shit, it’s hurt to call it that) , he had experienced firsthand how Kyuhyun was her priority. A bit like how music was Jae’s, only with far more emotional baggage and less self-preservation.
“So here I am, working out the tension to make sure I won’t explode at him tonight.”
“Damn, should’ve known you didn’t visit because you miss me,” Jae jokingly said, both to lighten up her mood and to cover the gnawing distaste on the dynamics between her and Kyuhyun. Yes, he knew it was like a pot calling the kettle black, but he really really didn’t like the way she let Kyuhyun walk all over her. At least Jae still had enough dignity and self-preservation not to let his life revolve around her.
But then she actually turned her face and looked him in the eyes, looking so tired and lonely that he wished, oh, he wished, he could make her the centre of his universe.
“Did you, though?” she asked in a sotto voice, like she couldn’t even believe she was asking that. “Miss me?”
And Jae’s heart broke.
For once, he let his emotions colour his voice, saying, “Course I do, uptown girl,” while gently caressing her face. She shuddered at the touch, closing her eyes as Jae pressed a kiss to her temple. He was torn between waxing actual poetry about how much she meant to him, and keeping his silence in fear of scaring her. So he just pulled her closer, wrapping his own warmth around her in the hope that his gesture said more than his words could ever do.
“Thank you,” she mumbled against the crook of his neck. “I need this.”
“Glad to be at service,” he kissed the crown of her head. “Now, you were saying you need to take a bath?”
It took all of his willpower to force that sentence out of his mouth, and he drained his reserve to actually let her go. But such was his place. Someone to put her back together, only for Kyuhyun to take her apart. Over and over again.
Only this time, the stars rewarded him for his good intention. Because before she even got the chance to get through his bathroom door, her phone rang. Helpfully, Jae took it from the nightstand and handed it over to her with a, “Speak of the Devil.”
He noticed that the caller was saved as plain Cho Kyuhyun , and Jae wondered why. He knew he was saved in her contacts as Guitar Guy , and he couldn’t help but to pick it apart. Was it a nickname out of affection, or merely a way to hide his existence?
“No, I just woke up,” he heard her say to the phone and had to cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing. “It's Saturday, Kyu. Of course I just laze around,” she said while shooting him a warning look.
Jae grinned and raised his hands. Guilty as charged , he mouthed, and she rolled her eyes.
Absent-mindedly, uncaring about his naked state, he reached for the pile of delivery flyers near the door and shuffled through them. Hmmm. He was hungry. Perhaps he should eat to chase away the thoughts of her on a date (and in bed) with the fucking Cho Kyuhyun?
“It's okay, I haven't started getting ready anyway.”
Jae’s head snapped up, and he was welcomed by the sight of Hyunri leaning against the wall, eyes closed in resignation as she said, “Really, it's fine. It's not like I had to cancel anything.”
Her tone was bitter, but Jae got a feeling that emotions didn't go over the phone well because she ended the call with a plain “see you” and emotionless “love you too”.
“Fuck,” she cursed, and for a second she looked so livid that Jae thought she would throw her phone across the wall or something like that. But she just slid down to sit against the wall, head buried in between her knees.
When she just sat there for a minute or so, he stood up and poured a glass of water for her. “Come on, this means you could still go meet your friends, right?” he suggested to cheer her up, but she just shook her head.
“Not in the mood to hear them preach about what a shitty boyfriend Kyuhyun is,” she bitterly said.
He is shitty , Jae thought to himself. But as always, he had enough self-preservation not to say it out loud. So he just studied her, taking notes of the frown on her face and the way she gripped her phone so hard he was afraid it would break.
“What about pizza?”
She was still frowning when she finally looked at him, so Jae shrugged and said, “Life hack: There’s scarcely anything food couldn’t fix. So,” he showed the flyer in his hand, “Pizza?”
To Jae’s relief, the frown dissipated and with a small nod, she said, “Throw a t-shirt into that offer, and we have a deal.”
Oh, Jae could have jumped for joy at that. But he merely made a grand gesture, saying, “Please, everything here is yours to take,” before nonchalantly asking her topping preference.
“Do they have salmon like in the Italian restaurant?”
He gaped at her, but she offered a weak smirk and Jae took that as a good sign. “Get your fancy ass off your pearl white seat and eat pepperoni like the rest of us, uptown girl,” he said in a mock-stern tone, and she let out a weak chuckle.
“Ask for extra cheese, please.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” he said with a salute.
She rolled her eyes, but stood up and swatted his arm with a soft, “Dork.”
It was barely a whisper, but he heard it nonetheless.
Yeah, he’d take that.
***
But how did it lead to the date, you might ask. Well, it was because when they were eating the pizza on his bed (because they were uncultured swine like that) , she noticed his guitar and its scraped painting. Which led to a few questions and him admitting that he originally planned to spend the night window-shopping for a new one.
And because he was stupidly infatuated, he asked her to come with him on a guitar hunt instead of spending the whole night in his bed.
She agreed.
And that was how Jae scored a date with her. Granted, he did feel like slapping his own mouth for calling it a date when he wasn’t even sure she thought of it the same way, but...
Hope has always been mankind's greatest weapon, right?
She tugged at his arm, and his musing was cut short. “That one's nice,” she said, pointing at a Fender Custom Shop Heavy Relic Stratocaster with the hand that wasn't still circled around his arm.
It took him a while to respond, mostly because he still couldn't get over their proximity (yes, they had been more intimate than this, but not like this. Not in a casual setting like this) , but also because that guitar was a beauty. Like, actual literal beauty.
He made a choking noise when he reached to touch it, marvelling at the alder body, maple bolt-on, and even the dot inlays. Finally, he steeled himself and took it off its stand. Carefully, like he wasn't worthy of it, he tried to strum it.
Oh, yes, he was in love.
“I take it you like my recommendation?” she mused, and he nodded vigorously, that awed look still plastered on his face.
“You, uptown girl, do have the eyes for good things.”
“That I do,” she laughed. “Come on, put it back so we can look around again.”
Jae obeyed, mournfully, but not before he gave the guitar one last caress. She just shook her head with a smile, and he let her drag him around.
She knew this place, he belatedly realised. Sure, she was the one who suggested they went to TRBL. And Jae mostly agreed because he has been wanting to check out the most popular music hub in Seoul. But Jae didn't expect her to be so… familiar with the place.
He found the answer to his musing, however, when someone interrupted them. With a furtive glance at Hyunri, Jae realised that this guy with a shaved eyebrow wasn't unwelcome. Jae, on the other hand…
Discreetly, he excused himself and wandered off. Far enough so they weren't in his earshot, but close enough to keep them in his line of sight.
He was pleasantly surprised when Hyunri approached him with the guy in tow. Apparently, the guy was TRBL’s owner and Hyunri’s good friend who went by Dean.
"Hold up. You mean, you're Dean? The soundcloud R&B sensation, Deantrbl?" Jae asked before he could stop himself, and Dean chuckled sheepishly.
"Yeah," he admitted. "I'm surprised you knew though. Not many people do."
"He's one of your people, of course he knew," Hyunri commented. "You should check out his band. Their self-composed songs are great."
"Really? You should come and play at one of our open gigs," Dean asked. "What about… next Saturday?"
Jae blinked a few times, and he may have gaped like a fish out of the water. But he was shocked , okay. This guy hasn't even heard his songs and he invited them to play at a TRBL gig? In front of hundreds of its usual patrons and its thousands of followers on livestream?
Dean let out a low chuckle, and Hyunri's amused expression let Jae know that he had accidentally said all of those out loud. He kinda wanted to bury his head in the sand, but he wasn't an ostrich. So he had no choice but to steel himself and wait for an answer.
"I trust her judgement," was Dean's simple answer. And as if to ensure Jae that he was serious, he gave him a card with his number on it. "Hit me up once you've discussed a good date with your bandmates. Though I'm hoping I could hear you guys play next Saturday," he added with a grin.
Jae could only nod dumbly because, holy fuck, he couldn't believe this was happening. They finally got an offer for a new gig, and it was in fucking TRBL. Shit, Sungjin would lose his cool if he knew.
Jae was practically giddy with excitement. Until he remembered that his friends would want to know about how this deal came to be. And he'd have to tell them about her.
Suddenly, the prospect of breaking the news to his friends didn't seem all that exciting.
He was so engrossed in devising plots to tell his friends the news without revealing too much about Hyunri, that he didn't pay attention to her conversation with Dean. He only realised something was happening when she tugged his arm and informed him that the three of them were going out for dinner. With Zico.
“We are?” Jae asked, a bit dumbfounded. Then he looked at Dean’s amused smile and her exasperated but fond expression, and couldn’t help but grinned sheepishly. “I mean. Sure. Let’s go for dinner,” he said, and braced himself for an extremely awkward hangout.
But, perhaps out of respect or politeness towards Hyunri, Zico and Dean actually made an effort to be nice to him. They didn't go out of their way to be friendly, but Jae wasn't picky about his wins. Especially because the two seemed chill with him, despite being acquainted with her boyfriend.
(TRBL, Jae learnt, was the go-to store of Kyuhyun and his entourage. And apparently, the group has their designated VIP room in Zico’s Bermuda Triangle Bar because they hung out there often. But most importantly, the pair have known Hyunri since her college days. So Jae assumed they also knew Kyuhyun on a personal level.)
He knew the two had been giving him the eye, though. So he excused himself for a smoke, fully expecting Zico to join him.
“I must admit, I’m surprised,” Zico said by way of greeting, and Jae couldn’t help but snort.
“Because I lasted this long?” he asked in what he hoped was a nonchalant tone as he took a drag. Zico, too, took a drag before he said the words that took the breath out of Jae’s lungs.
“Because she looks happy.”
Jae’s surprise must have been evident in his face because Zico sighed and took another drag. “She likes to pretend everything’s alright with Kyuhyun. But I haven’t seen her this happy for quite a long time.”
“You’re good for her,” Zico added, surprising Jae because he didn’t expect that. He never thought that anyone, much less Zico, would thank him.
“Thanks,” Jae replied once he could get his throat to work again. “Not sure I can keep this going for a long time, though,” he added truthfully. Because who was he kidding? They had an expiration date. It was only a matter of time before she had to choose between him and Kyuhyun. And Jae wasn’t that delusional to think he had a chance against the nation’s beloved rock star. Even if said rock star was a shitty boyfriend and a serial cheater.
Zico looked at him with a look that was akin to pity, and Jae forced a self-deprecating grin on his face. “Issalright. I knew what I signed up for,” he said. “She was out of my league to begin with.”
He knew Zico knew he was looking at Hyunri with a forlorn look, but Jae couldn’t care less. It wasn’t like he still had to hide his feelings from him. They knew everything anyway.
“I’m not saying this to give you false hope,” Zico began, and the bartender took a deep drag from his cigarette before he continued, “But I’m pretty sure you meant more to her than just a good shag.”
Oh? Jae felt something in his heart leap at Zico’s voice, but did his damned best not to let the hopefulness show in his face. Or his voice. So he kept his silence and waited until Zico elaborated his words.
“The short version is she wouldn’t have come to TRBL for just anyone. Not even Kyuhyun could make her do that.” Zico looked at Jae pointedly, and Jae knew better than to push. It was a personal matter. One that Jae had to earn from her own mouth to understand.
“Just… don’t break her heart, alright?” Zico said as he threw the stump of his cigarette to the ground.
And Jae could only laugh. Because even after what Zico told him, even after being allowed into another part of her life, Jae still knew.
She’d pick Cho Kyuhyun over him. Always.
***
Still, he couldn’t help but feel hope swelling in his chest when he woke up with her in his arms the next morning. He leaned in and buried his face in her hair, inhaling her scent and allowing himself the luxury of pretending that she was his.
That he had a chance.
Until she woke up and he had to let her go back to Cho Kyuhyun, that is.