Work Text:
When Noelle was getting her education at the Silva palace, she was told this: it’s impossible to see colors if there’s no light. Apparently, without light, there were no colors. Nothing. Just black. So, without light, there was no color.
Noelle remembered this lecture two times.
The first was when she joined the Black Bulls. ‘Black’ was not even considered a color for her. It was the absence of light, of colors. It was an unsettling darkness or every color mixed together, a chaos no one could make out. And yet, for a squad supposedly black, everyone was so dazzling, so bright and full of life. One shone so bright that Noelle could hardly believe he existed. The Sun. There was no other way to describe Asta. The Black Bulls had filled her world with colors. They were the light she’d been waiting for. He was.
The second time was when she lost this light and realized that it would never, ever be back again.
♧
Timing is crucial in battle. Noelle knows this much. Never let your guard down, never hesitate. If you do, the enemy will take advantage of the split-second of weakness and all it takes is one powerful blow to end a person’s life.
But when the person you trust the most tells you to stay where you are, your first instinct is to obey. Even if you know it’s not a safe decision, and that there’s a small voice at the back of your head screaming to you that you will regret your inertia for the rest of your life.
She doesn’t understand why Asta yells at her to stay put that until she sees smoke, ashes, and some dark clouds around him. The ground has disappeared, crumbled. The gate to the Underworld is opening and there’s nothing that can be done to stop it. There should be nothing to stop it. But Asta can. He’s the only one who can, and with one last swing of his sword, he manages to close it. He saves the world. Of course he does.
When she finally snaps out of the spell his order put on her, Noelle springs forward.
Asta is falling backwards.
It all happens in slow motion, but Noelle hates how much time it takes her to react, to jump forward and stretch her hand out to catch his.
She knows she doesn’t make it in time. She knows he keeps falling and for a split second she sees everything in perfect clarity: his green eyes as they turn gray, his ash-blond hair as they turn gray, his entire face turns darker and darker shades of gray. Gray, gray, gray, darker and darker gray. Noelle stares back at Asta in horror as his face slowly fades away, darkening, engulfed by a darkness that is the polar opposite of him, of everything he represents. She swears she has never seen so much fear on his face. There is supposed to be a smile there, where is Asta’s smile? There’s no light in the Underworld. That’s not where light should be. That’s where all light dies.
Asta reaches out for her hand. Noelle reaches out for his. Her hands grasps the air. She reaches out again, trying again, further down, she can fly down, she can pull him up, but she grasps nothing. She stumbles and falls forward, she needs to get to his hand and if she has to fall to bring him back up, then she will. But suddenly she can’t reach further down. Something cold and mighty is pulling her back to the light, back to the surface, a current she can’t seem to be able to fight, then she feels someone. Hands, arms circling her and bringing her back, and only then does Noelle realize her feet are in the air and she is falling too.
But she’s falling backwards.
Unlike him, backwards is safe. That's where the light is.
She fixates on the darkness. Asta has disappeared there already.
She screams, she wails, she can’t stop calling his name. But he has disappeared.
The gate has closed.
She squirms and battles, she tries to get out but the force is keeping her down. His face so livid as he fell, the surprise and terror in his features and the bright lime of his eyes slowly fading to gray are all she can see.
He can’t be gone.
She’s crying. Her voice is cracking as she wails and tries to explain why she has to go too, why she has to go after him, why she needs to save him and at the same time, she can’t understand what has happened yet. She simply knows that it can’t be over.
“Noelle, he’s gone. It’s over.”
That’s Nozel’s voice and Noelle knows she’ll never forgive him. She was so close to catch Asta. So close to follow him down to that hell. So close.
“ Let me go!” she screams. “I’m going down there!”
“You’re not. This is the Underworld. Asta knew what he was getting into. There’s nothing you can do anymore.”
She can’t believe it.
It can’t be true.
Her sun’s just been snatched out of the sky.