Work Text:
The sun laid like a blanket across his room. It was beautiful, orange mixed with yellow. Maybe like a painting. He moved his eyes to fully take it in. After staring at the floor for so long, it was a relief. A different sight to bare. Then, it became less of a relief.
The sun. The same sun he looked at with him. The same sun he wanted to fly too close to, for the man he loved.
It seemed so far away by now.
And everything is so distant, only a mere memory. It felt like it had been years.
But really,
it had only been a few weeks.
Where had he gone? Maybe he's just too busy..? He's always been such a busy, busy man. Or— Maybe he's taking time to himself! Away from.. me. So.. is it my fault? Oh, God, what if it's my fault he's gone? I knew he'd get tired of me eventually.
That's what played through Esther's head over and over. His heart ached, and his mind, body, and soul, longed for Demi Desdemona's touch. Longed for him to wipe the reoccurring tears, for him to hold Esther's face in his hands and call him so silly for crying, saying that he'll never leave him. To kiss him, to hug him, anything.
He slowly sat himself down, like a man who just watched the love of his life die in front of him.
There is nothing he wanted more than Demi. Esther hugged himself, attempting to poorly replicate the cold hug Demi would've offered. The one that sent chills through Esther, but one that warmed him at the same time.
The tears burnt his cheeks. They felt like needles, dragging across his face. His tears leaked into the cracks of the floor, now forever living there. And he cried for the man who had vanished ever so suddenly.
"O...oh, Demi.. come.. come back... please, please," Esther sobbed, his shoulders wracked with grief. Was Demi really, truly.. gone? The thought scared him more than any punishment. Was this his punishment?
"I.. it's.. all my..." Sob. "fault, isn't.. it? I.. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, ohh, I'm sorry.."
He cried like the pathetic man he was. He felt like a child, crying for his friend to give his toy back.
Esther eventually shut the curtains, with quite an angry force.
No one understands. Demi truly was the most important man in Esther's life. Esther was like.. a bird in a cage. He was stuck until Demi Desdemona freed him. He was so happy that he was no longer trapped, in the hands of hatred. ..Well, he still was. But he had someone who understood, who wanted to love the unlovable. Demi was- is a sick, twisted man. Esther knows that. But he didn't care. He didn't care if Demi did horrible things to him, or cut and bruised him. Demi was always quite gentle. He was the only man ever kind to him.
The more Esther thinks about Demi, the more his heart hurts. He really will die, it feels.
His resolution:
If Demi can't see the sun, then neither will Esther. If Demi can't eat, then neither will Esther. If Demi can't sleep, then neither with Esther. If Demi can't be here, then neither will Esther. If Demi can't be alive, then neither will Esther.
Demi would walk in, and stop in his tracks. Maybe his smile would even falter a little, as he asked Esther, "What's wrong, Esther? Ahaha, was I truly gone for that long?" And even better, "Did you miss me that much?" Then he'd kneel down to kiss Esther's tears. He would smile, and stare like he knew things that Esther didn't. And he would laugh, pull the curtains back, and pull Esther up to watch the sun with him. He would hold Esther's hand, and kiss it. And they would be happy together, just for this moment.
That would be the happy end. But Demi never came back. So Esther would live happily in the delusions he made. For many years. Reality will always come back.
"I miss you, Desdemona."