Chapter Text
Once upon a time, Kim Dokja read a webnovel.
It was about a man that was forced to regress countless times in what seemed to be an endless cycle of despair, tragedy, and vengeance. Kim Dokja watched him go through different turbulent trials, fighting by the teeth of his skin and eventually coming out on top with blood-soaked hands.
Kim Dokja admired that man.
Started as a high school student who started maturing not long ago, and as a boy who was not at all unfamiliar with the dark themes of this webnovel, Kim Dokja eagerly read each chapter with sparkling eyes. He constantly left comments thanking the author for every upload and slid his gaze over every word with rapt attention.
And if he ever found something particularly interesting, Kim Dokja would go into great detail discussing it, sometimes even conversing with the author themself. He would talk as if he was giving a lecture on the webnovel itself. Talking, something he rarely did outside of his phone.
But, while Kim Dokja talked about many things, there was one thing he’d talk about the most.
The protagonist, Yoo Joonghyuk.
Perhaps some may call his admiration of the fictional, cold-hearted man a little “over-the-edge” or too “abnormal” for a young man, but it was without a doubt that this man was a person that caught the full attention of Kim Dokja. He noted down Yoo Joonghyuk’s unique behaviors, his opinions on everything that surrounded him, his interactions with every character, and how he progressed through each plotline.
Kim Dokja watched it all from the comfort of his phone.
And he did so for the next thirteen years, solely reading the tumultuous journey of a lone regressor fighting against beings that Kim Dokja once thought he’d never even think of fighting.
Until, of course, the webnovel ended and was suddenly brought to life, thrusting Kim Dokja into a world that he used to only see through the images of his mind.
And as if things couldn’t get any more unbelievable, the man that brought the night sky to ruins and lived more than one thousand lives, the iron-hearted, ruthless man that Kim Dokja had been watching for more than a decade--Yoo Joonghyuk, appeared right in front of him.
Typically, when you see a person you’ve admired for a while, such as a hero or an idol, you’d start expressing gratitude and appreciation, right? After all, they are someone that lifted your spirits, kept you inspired, and was most likely your main motivation to get through the tough challenges of life. Seeing such a person would be a joyous, and heart-warming occasion, right?
Well.
「Release your hand and get lost, you damn son of a bitch.」
Indeed, the joyous, heart-warming occasion it was.
It was especially even more wholesome when Kim Dokja willingly let himself get thrown off a bridge.
From that day onward, Kim Dokja, instead of becoming his best friend, had instead become Yoo Joonghyuk’s number one enemy. And he took great pride in that.
Whether it was because of the Fourth Wall or his hidden persona blooming thanks to this mix of two worlds, or perhaps both, Kim Dokja found himself making decisions that only lunatics would make. He was treading paths that most people wouldn’t take, simply because a single misstep would cause them to lose their life. Yet, here was this random 28-year-old former office worker punching a man that was responsible for thousands of lives. And then proceeding to say “oops”. Not only that, he had even walked into a dinner party where he intended to make allies, only to leave with knives pointed at his neck and nearly causing the destruction of a world.
Needless to say, Kim Dokja definitely made his mark in this story.
But--it gets even stranger.
Throughout the course of Kim Dokja’s magical and spontaneous journey, although his main enemies were those that lived in the sky, if you asked him what was the most hardest part of going through the scenarios, he would give you this answer:
“Being friends with that stupid bastard.”
It was no surprise to anyone that the relationship between Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk was an unusual one. Constantly bickering each time they meet, punching each other in the gut, and even nearly fighting each other to the death, it’s a damn mystery how they even maintained a relationship of some kind. Though a certain angel might have some theories, it truly left other people wondering how the two men hadn’t killed each other at the end. Even Kim Dokja was surprised that he was still breathing.
Yoo Joonghyuk always looked at the other man with a steel and cold gaze, judging him silently from afar. He always made it a point to say his name with contempt, as if just speaking it agitated him. Not to mention how he’d always say that he would be the one to kill him, yet Kim Dokja was alive and well, almost unscathed. Plus, to make matters more confusing, Yoo Joonghyuk was given three grand opportunities to take his life without consequence. In fact, it was a benefit.
The first instance comes when Kim Dokja, in a heroic act of madness, took the torso-shattering blow from the 41st round, Disaster of Floods, Shin Yoosung. It had created an open hole in the lower part of Kim Dokja’s body, causing him to lose half of his intestines and collapse on the brink of death. During that particular moment, Kim Dokja truly wanted to pull Yoo Joonghyuk by the ear and scold him like an angry husband for being so fucking stupid, but most of his strength was evaporated within an instant, and he could only talk. Of course, being the charitable, generous person he was, Kim Dokja offered the exquisite deal of allowing Yoo Joonghyuk to kill him in order to gain coins. No matter how much he was annoyed by the guy, Kim Dokja still wanted to see him succeed.
What he didn’t expect was Yoo Joonghyuk’s adamant rejection, shouting in a frantic voice that it “wasn’t too late”. Pause, and ponder. Here he was, holding the body of a crippled, definitely-going-to-die man that he allegedly hated so much that he’d kill him, and was outright told by that very same man, to, in fact, kill him. And yet, what does Yoo Joonghyuk do? Not kill him. Even more baffling, after the oh-so-tragic (second) death of Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk spirals into a blinding rage that fills his mind with nothing but bloodlust.
Talk about an indecisive man.
The second instance happens shortly before the eighth scenario occurs. After having another near-death experience with Nirvana, and being urgently called on by Uriel, Kim Dokja activated his omniscient skill to check on Jung Heewon. Unfortunately, before he can get any deeper into this skill, he’s brutally punched in the stomach by his dear comrade-in-arms, Yoo Joonghyuk. It’s at that moment Kim Dokja makes the belated realization that instead of falling asleep, he should just die (because that’s his favorite pastime) since he had more than one life.
And so once again, Kim Dokja makes the grand offer to Yoo Joonghyuk to kill him. This time, it’d be a benefit to both parties.
Yoo Joonghyuk does ensure that Kim Dokja falls into deep unconsciousness. The only thing he doesn’t do, very strangely, is take Kim Dokja’s life.
So, Kim Dokja starts to wonder, Why didn’t he kill me when he’s been planning to this whole time? It was truly a mystery. Eventually, Kim Dokja just chalks it up to the regressor being out-of-sorts, since his regression-depression began not long after.
And of course, the third instance happens at the Dark Castle, a moment in time that no one in the company likes talking about. It especially rings true with Kim Dokja, as he was forced to bear the cruel punishment of certain constellations and watch his comrades suffer silently as they attacked him. It’s a moment that he doesn’t like reminiscing on, as it brings him too much guilt and anger. However, it’s also a moment that reveals a hidden piece of Kim Dokja that even he was unaware of.
Regardless, the third occasion occurs some bit of time after Kim Dokja takes on several bloody attacks. Deep, fleshy gashes appeared all over his body, and his vision was painted red. He could feel the energy in his body seeping away quickly--he was bound to fall any moment now. So, Kim Dokja looked up with heavy eyes, staring straight at the black-clothed man with a bitter smile.
Yoo Joonghyuk was definitely the one who dealt the most severe attacks, he was the protagonist after all, but even so, invisible strings of anguish were woven intricately in the center of his pitch-black eyes. He never looked away from Kim Dokja once, facing him head-on with an expression that Kim Dokja couldn’t decipher, for the first time.
「Let’s end it now, Yoo Joonghyuk. Bring that out.」Kim Dokja had told him.
「I don’t know what you mean.」Yoo Joonghyuk had replied.
It was really, really strange. Despite making a firm resolution to kill Kim Dokja, as that is simply the way Yoo Joonghyuk was, he still didn’t want the man to die. He deliberately chose a different sword rather than the sword that’d wipe him out for good. Why didn’t he? As someone who has gone through countless losses and hard decisions, this should have been a straightforward situation between the two men. Both of them knew how to end the scenario, and both of them knew how unfair the <Star Stream> was. There was no happy ending to this.
And yet, Yoo Joonghyuk chose to use a different sword.
All in all, their relationship wasn’t something that could be summed up in one or even three words. Perhaps not even a sentence could summarize their dynamic. One moment, they are “calmly” discussing the upcoming scenario, and the next, they are engaged in a battle to the death. The amount of times they’ve nearly killed each other is utterly baffling when you find out that after every battle, both of them move on like nothing ever happened. It’s as if they can only resolve their issues by making each other bleed to the point where people wonder if they’re actually going to kill each other or mark this as Battle #22.
Kim Dokja willingly introduced himself as Yoo Joonghyuk’s companion out of pure satisfaction and honestly wasn’t expecting to receive anything from the cold-hearted man, other than insensitive remarks and his hateful glares. He was solely interested in moving this story forward by doing whatever was necessary while making sure he had some fun in it too. Having spent over a decade of his life living through the lens of this ruthless man, Kim Dokja felt it was a given that he should at least have the privilege to smack and scold Yoo Joonghyuk around as if they’ve been friends since childhood.
And boy, it was such a marvelous privilege.
After all, nothing feels better than watching a rigid, stone-faced guy become stiff with a horrified expression as he was carried away on the shoulder of his teacher, eventually getting his ass spanked--all thanks to the weird, random man in a white coat.
Kim Dokja occasionally replays that scene in his head.
All in all, the two men didn’t have a good relationship. Constant yelling, punching, bleeding, and death had occurred between the two, and it would make hundreds of psychologists go on a field day if the pair of men were actually friends in good nature. It was impossible, really, to imagine the so-called “companions” to be actually that.
They disliked each other to the bone. They’d rather kill themselves (that route is getting tiring) than perceive the other as their dearest friend. It was exhausting enough to have a conversation, lest working together. Good Uriel, working together . That’s always been a fucking nightmare for Kim Dokja. He’s lost count of the number of times he and Yoo Joonghyuk argued because they disagreed on a simple, minuscule thing; who was being paired up with who, in one particular scenario. Yoo Joonghyuk insisted that he’d go with Kim Dokja, reasoning that he was there to ensure he “won’t do something stupid again” and simply because there was no reason for him not to. However, Kim Dokja was adamant about going with Yoo Sangah, as he had his own personal goals to accomplish, and the place he wanted Yoo Joonghyuk to go to was critical in his grand master plan.
The conversation was supposed to last for only fifteen seconds. It ended up being fifteen minutes.
That bastard was stubborn as fuck. (Kim Dokja eventually ended up winning, but not without a few bruises on his arms. Yes, they fought. Again.)
They were just not compatible with each other. Whoever thought so, must be delusional, because Kim Dokja, for the life of him, could not even grasp the idea of them ever having a stable relationship. It was laughable, at most.
They were each other’s worst enemies.
They would vomit if they were forced to say a single nice thing about each other.
They would rather get run over by a car than sit next to--
Beep! Beep!
A shrill, high-pitched sound pierced through the fogginess of Kim Dokja’s mind. He sharply inhaled, snapping awake at this invasive sound. However, his eyelids felt incredibly heavy, and he couldn’t get them to open. Nor could he bring himself to take care of the noise. As the Beep! Beep! Continued, Kim Dokja buried himself deeper into his pillow, eager to tune out the incessant, irritating sound.
He is nearly successful in this attempt, feeling the blanket of slumber start to drape over him until something else shatters his sleepiness entirely. At the top of his forehead, comes a stinging sensation. It happens briefly, but the throbbing that comes right after lingers, pulsating like a minuscule heartbeat.
And if that wasn’t enough to get him to wake up, Kim Dokja hears a low, husky voice grumble next to him, “If you don’t turn that off, I will smash it to pieces.”
Kim Dokja groans.
Knowing full well who the person next to him was capable of, Kim Dokja turns over on his side, a pissed-off expression on his face. He reaches for his phone which is vibrating violently on the nightstand, and taps once. The sound stops.
“There, happy now?” Kim Dokja shoots a small glare at the man lying beside him, both of his eyes closed. He’s facing Kim Dokja, allowing the said man to have a full, front-row view of him. Thick black eyebrows rest above the man’s eyes, furrowed yet also slightly relaxed, drawn to a small sharp point. His lips are slightly parted, and his inky-black hair is scattered about on the white pillow. Within it, strands of grey can be seen hiding between each black strand, a color that stands out in the man’s mostly monochrome appearance. They drape over his eyes, and Kim Dokja’s index finger twitches at the sight of it.
If someone other than Kim Dokja were to wake up to this face, they would surely pass away on the spot with a tear sliding down their cheek, unable to take in this ethereal image.
Oh, that man is Yoo Joonghyuk, by the way.
Continuing--even with messy bed hair and remnants of stubble on his chin, and the nearly visible dark bags under his eyes, Yoo Joonghyuk still manages to maintain his stupidly attractive appearance with little to no effort. It irritates Kim Dokja to no end. Between the two men, a hand is skillfully placed on the mattress, the tips of its fingers clutching at the fabric of a certain reader’s shirt.
Having been met with silence to his question, Kim Dokja soundlessly sticks his tongue out at Yoo Joonghyuk before turning on his side, facing away from the face he dreads waking up to every morning. He turns on his phone, and that’s when he sees the time--9:48 am. It takes a couple of seconds for the information to register in Kim Dokja’s brain, before letting out a quiet “oh”. He had nearly forgotten.
I’m supposed to be picking up the kids today. In an hour.
Two weeks ago Kim Dokja had promised Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung to take them to an amusement park for summer vacation, and then eventually Yoo Mia when she heard the news. Initially, Kim Dokja was confused about it, asking the kids, “Aren’t you too old for amusement parks?” Lee Gilyoung was nearing his shoulder, for goodness sake.
“No, we’re not!” They both said in unison, a determined expression plastered across their faces. It was a little adorable to see a pair of teenagers looking up at a grown man with stars in their eyes, pleading with him to take them to some park that’s typically crowded with children. Unless, times have changed (Kim Dokja wouldn’t know, anyway).
In the end, Kim Dokja gave in and the day has come at last.
As if to ensure that he wouldn’t forget again, a single notification pops up on his phone, causing him to sigh helplessly.
Han Sooyoung: you better be awake or else im kidnapping you
And then another.
Han Sooyoung: not even that joonghyuk bastard will stop me
Kim Dokja lets out a small smile, shaking his head. He clicks his phone off and turns to lie on his back, tilting his head towards the so-called “bastard”. His eyes are still closed, and his breathing continues to stay even, but Kim Dokja knows all too well that the man is awake. His eyelids are shut more tightly, and the furrow of his brows hasn’t disappeared.
However, Kim Dokja doesn’t make a move to stir him more, either.
The night before, the former regressor had stayed up until 4 am, streaming the latest new installment in a popular game series--Lily’s Daycare, a fast-paced horror game. Ever since the release of its first chapter, the game was trending all over the internet, quickly rising to the top of the gaming world. Kim Dokja had personally watched Yoo Joonghyuk play it, during a weekend, and was very much entertained by the idea of sentient, living toys coming to eat your flesh.
Unfortunately, for this new release, Kim Dokja was unable to be there in person as he was tired from a long day working at the Industrial Complex, and the game was set to be released later in the night, a consequence of living in a different timezone.
He still remembers momentarily waking up at the sensation of someone sliding in under the covers, the warmth of a human being immediately being transferred to Kim Dokja’s back. He heard the soft, tired sigh that he was intimately familiar with, and his eyelids cracked open.
As it was still the middle of the night, Kim Dokja couldn’t see much of anything, but he managed to reach out to his phone and briefly turn it on. It was 4 am on the dot. He slightly frowned at this and shifted his body around, automatically closing his eyes while leaning closer to this new addition in his bed.
Half-asleep, Kim Dokja softly mumbled, disapproval lacing his voice, “You really need to stop staying up so late…”
The man beside him simply gave a quiet hum, before placing a hand on the mattress, fumbling around for a bit until it touched the hems of a sleeve.
Flash forward to this morning, Kim Dokja watches in silent wonder at the rise and fall of Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest, and then at the hand that was delicately placed between them, the fingers grasping Kim Dokja’s shirt. He stares at them for a little while and gently wraps them with his own.
“Hey, prick. I need to go pick up the kids today, for the amusement park. Stay here and just catch up on your beauty sleep, alright?”
Yoo Joonghyuk’s fingers tighten. “...That’s today?”
Exasperation fills Kim Dokja’s voice, “Did you seriously forget? Has gaming so late officially wrecked your memory?” He looks at Yoo Joonghyuk with disappointed eyes. With a shake of the head, he says somberly, “Perhaps the old age has finally hit you…”
Another flick is bestowed upon his forehead, this time, it’s harsher than the last. Kim Dokja becomes immediately concerned that it’ll have a lasting mark.
“Yah! It’s not my fault you are confined to the chains of mortality.” He barks, rubbing the now sore spot on his beautiful head. What exactly did he do to deserve this treatment?
“Kim Dokja.” Yoo Joonghyuk grits out, cracking one eye open, seemingly on the verge of pushing him off the bed.
A loud, extended sigh escapes Kim Dokja’s mouth and pushes himself up with a groan. “Whatever, I’ll be nice and let you off this time. Because I’m polite like that.” He grumbles in annoyance, feeling that it’s too early in the morning to deal with Yoo Joonghyuk’s temper tantrums. Seriously, even though this is a daily occurrence, Kim Dokja cannot wrap his head around how he’s managed to be in this position. Wasn’t he at one point at the mercy of Yoo Joonghyuk’s Breaking the Sky Sword? What the hell happened?
Kim Dokja cannot be bothered to know.
Having lost too much time on this man-child, Kim Dokja gets out of bed and starts to retrieve his clothes from his wardrobe. As he does, he hears Yoo Joonghyuk mumble behind him, “Did I--?”
“You did. I checked last night before I went to bed, it’s all there.” Kim Dokja instantly replies, rather nonchalantly.
Before starting his five-hour stream, Yoo Joonghyuk took it upon himself to cook breakfast and lunch as he knew that he would be far too tired to do anything in the morning. He placed both meals in the refrigerator, only having to be heated up on a stove and it’ll be ready to go.
“Mia, too?” Yoo Joonghyuk added.
“Yes, all four.”
A quiet sound of acknowledgment can be heard from the bed, and Kim Dokja can’t help but smile fondly. It’s moments like these that make him remember how little people know about Yoo Joonghyuk, and how Kim Dokja knows everything about Yoo Joonghyuk.
Having gathered his clothes, he flashes one last look at the pro gamer--his back is turned toward him, and Kim Dokja can only see the mess of (mostly) black hair strewn across the pillow. Seeing Yoo Joonghyuk surrounded by a fluffy blanket, on a soft mattress in a quiet dimly lit room, with a simple black t-shirt causes something to bloom in Kim Dokja’s stomach. He exits the room, a moment later, a fleeting curve playing across the corner of his lips.