Chapter Text
Lola knew the moment she laid eyes on her soulmate, at the age of eighteen, that life wasn't fair and never would be.
June 13, 2013.
That was the day she saw her soulmate and that was the day the pain started.
It was referred to as The Aching--a rare type of soulmate sickness that caused the afflicted to experience physical pain and longing for said soulmate until physical contact was achieved. Sometimes, the pain would continue even after physical contact was achieved, only abating once the soulbond was consummated.
Her father and mother had the latter time.
Double whammied.
At first, Lola and the doctors didn't realize what was happening, and when they did...it didn't exactly help.
Her soulmate was an idol. A Korean idol.
The second reaction was dumbfounded reclusion and frustration. Was her whole life just one big study session for her soulmate? A soulmate who she literally ached to be with--but who was just as young as her in his career.
It wasn't fair. None of her siblings had the aching. None of her siblings lives seemed to have been preemptively tailored for their soulmates--except perhaps her two oldest brothers, whose occupations had led them to their wives.
"You're overthinking it," her father placated softly. "It's not always quite so obvious that our lives have been preparing us for our soulmates, but they are being prepared just as much as us."
"At least you had yours beside you. Mine is a world away in a city that will always be too big for me, while I'm here, running around barefoot through the woods to feed the neighbor's chickens," Lola muttered, chucking her twig into the lazy stream below. "I dream of living in the woods with a garden and five kids and he's pursuing a career as a musician in the spotlight of a big city. How could we possibly be soulmates? He probably likes shopping, Dad. Can you imagine?"
Dad just chuckled, moving to the other side of the footbridge.
"Really, Dad. First, I grow up surrounded by Korean culture, even so much that I...am fluent in the language and was able to teach both English to Koreans, and vice-versa. Second, I pursue a career in production and musical composition---"
"Because you're essentially a musical prodigy," her father inserted dryly.
"--and just when I start establishing myself, he's debuting in a Korean music group?"
"Mari," he lilted, smiling softly at her. "You've already presented some important counter-arguments for your own complaints. No one said having a soulmate makes things easier."
Lola groaned and tilted into him, closing her eyes as her thoughts kept racing around and coming up with new things. "What if he resents me?" She whispered, unable to stop her eyes from filling with tears.
"Then I'll let your brother kill him," he answered, only half-joking. "We don't let fear rule us, my darling."
She nodded mutely, relishing the warmth and love of her father's embrace.
But watching her soulmate grow and thrive at the same rate as her was...odd.
On one hand, she was immensely proud. They overcame great obstacles and started really establishing themselves as a popular group. Their music was improving with every album. They were doing well.
On the other hand, she felt cheated. Cheated of the time together to get to know one another in an organic manner, where he learns about her as she learns about him. So, she made a pointed effort to not follow their content and career--aside from listening to their music.
Unfortunately, her sister got hooked on BTS so she wasn't entirely successful.
Her family, her siblings, were left in the dark about her soulmate and her condition. She had asked her father not to tell them, and he agreed. It was hard enough to go through without a bunch of siblings trying to make sure you're okay all the time and trying to find out why you wouldn't head out right away to meet said soulmate. They were told that she had a condition that caused her chronic pain, most of which manifested in much the same way that panic attacks did.
Fantastic.
When she was offered the job to oversee the renovations of the company's Korean office (including a complete overhaul of the staff because the branch was useless monetarily) she went immediately to see her father.
"What is this?!"
Her father sighed as he closed the medical file in his hands. "Hello, daughter dearest. Lovely to see you, too. Please, come into my office. I'm not at all busy. Must I remind you that I really don't do much with the company--"
"They want to promote me and have me fix the Korean branch."
Understanding dawned and he set the file aside.
"You did know!"
"I was aware that they were considering you for the position," he corrected carefully. "They were debating between a few people. You have the knowledge and skills, and you are a trusted member of the company. How often do Ria and Luke go over your head?"
"Rarely, but over half of my job is working with Trevor, and--"
"And that can just as easily be accomplished there as here. And you would be able to check in on Song. She's been too quiet and I know you're worried about her. If you're that worried, take Keely if you're really anxious about going. She'll prove to be a formidable distraction for you. And maybe you'll meet your soulmate in an organic manner that makes your heart settle."
She flopped into the chair nearest her, eyeing the couch her whole family had napped on numerous times. The shelf that held a range of kids books and some movies, for when they went to work with him.
"You are enough, Lola Marinette," her father murmured. "I just wish you felt the same."
Keely (freshly graduated from culinary school) had easily agreed to go with her, ever eager to "spread her wings" and "explore new places".
Lola stopped listening when Keely started talking about 'meeting new people and making friends'.
Seoul was too big. Too crowded.
The only thing saving Lola's sanity were the parks, the mountains and forests.
And Song.
After living there a while, she realized it was silly to think that just being in Seoul would mean meeting her soulmate.
Especially after Keely's accident, when all of her energy and time went into caring for her and running Keely's restaurant.
Thus did she come to see her soulmate in person for the first time since Keely had dragged her to one of their concerts a couple years ago. Not that she counted that, since they had been in the bleeders and she was busy fighting an anxiety attack from the crowds.
Seeing him in person made needles dig under skin and her chest burn. After a few minutes, the pain settled to that of having overworked during a workout, and not getting stretched back out.
She was aware of every muscle in her body and she hated it.
But she wasn't going to let it show.
He obviously didn't feel the same.
ANd that was fine. More than fine.
Jung Hoseok didn't need her.
Yet, being away from him was worse, somehow.
Perhaps more surprising than actually meeting her soulmate in person was the interest she garnered from Park Jimin. And while she was, ultimately, flattered...she couldn't imagine letting him work himself up to the pain.
She had to talk with him, which shouldn't be hard since the entire band was around all the time now; Song being Seokjin's soulmate and Keely being the social butterfly that she was.
From that first night seeing each other in person, they had been tied together, and for the life of her she couldn't find the string.
What were truly the odds of them getting locked out at the same time that Keely was there to discover that they were neighbors and offer them shelter, or of them accepting and having to stay the whole night due to multiple breaches of security? The odds that that would be the same night/morning that Song's mother crossed the line?
What were the odds, why were these the odds, and how did she escape these odds?
The timing to let Jimin down gently eluded her, and for some agonizing reason Hoseok insisted on talking to her regularly and damn if she didn't fall a little more in love each time.
He was charming and weird but also serious and shy and--
But that just made her more anxious to be around him. That just made the pain worse, harder to bear. Until all of her was just consumed by this thought of, one touch. One touch. One touch.
Yoongi was her surprise guardian angel in that respect (and ally in absolutely hating Song's mother with a passion since he had the opportunity to...experience...her at Song's grandfather's funeral and will-reading), as well as Taehyung (though she suspected Taehyung's interest stemmed from wanting to know why his friend was interested in her). They ran interference regularly when Hoseok or Jimin started getting to be too much.
"You tap out Morse code when you're overwhelmed," Yoongi explained one night as they stood in the kitchen, having made their escape. "I only really noticed because I heard Song say you were tapping S.O.S. But I've noticed that you're either playing piano or tapping Morse code." He shrugged, and they enjoyed the quiet of the kitchen for about five more minutes, when something crashed and it was too quiet afterward.
Taehyung mostly just had good timing, or didn't question her requests.
The first time he helped her, she had mostly been talking to herself and Keely--coming into the kitchen (why was it always the kitchen?) and muttering, "Can't breathe with all of these questions, can you please distract them? Is that possible?"
And part of her was joking, but then she spotted Taehyung and she could have died.
But he set down his cup of cocoa and gave her a thumbs-up. "I've got you covered."
And that was that. He mentioned in a text later (Jimin had exchanged everyones' numbers with everyone) that if she ever felt overwhelmed by all of them that he would happily rescue her. She just had to give him--and only him--topics to talk to Keely about.
And Keely could, and had once held a conversation with a tree, so that was a pretty fair price.
She missed trees.
It wasn't even that they bombarded her with questions or anything, just their attention was enough to overwhelm her and the pain. Usually it was the pain from being around HOseok that did her in. Jimin just usually suffered the consequences.
If Hoseok hadn't been her soulmate, she would have been more than elated to find herself with Jimin's affection and to return it.
But Hoseok was her soulmate, any his presence was painful and the thoughts of 'just touch him' were overwhelming. To not be in control of her thoughts and desires was frustrating.
All she wanted was to be home, running through the forest and talking with her neighbors, checking out the crops, and talking with everyone. She missed being able to bike to her sister's house to visit the twins. She missed crashing on her brother's couch for late night projects. She missed hiding in her father's office and listening to her siblings chaos.
She missed the stars.
THen the boys went to the States for Namjoon's wedding.
It was a blessed reprieve for her, and though she now had to care for her two low-functioning ducklings, she felt great. She wasn't in nearly as much pain, had no anxiety about finding people in her house when she wanted to e alone, and had no one bothering her when she was in her home studio. She could work without fearing someone would come in.
Without having to explain that she didn't care about them even if she worked in the music industry as well. She preferred to work on movie and tv-show soundtracks. Her only mainstream music production went directly to two singers. She wouldn't produce for anyone else, because she'd tried that and it never ended well. They always wanted to ruin her favorite parts of the songs, or add lyrics that she could never approve of. Or they would try to insist on in-person meetings even though she was specific about that not being possible. Or they would advertise that she was working with them, contrary to the contract with specified complete secrecy and discretion.
But her work did well. Her name got bigger the more she tried to keep it small.
At this point, she was assuming the only way she would escape would be to stop working entirely.
Which she was more than happy to do, when she was married. So she could focus on her life with her husband and eventually raise her children.
She used to dream about being a mother, raising her family just like her family had raised her. Teaching them how to grow things in a garden and feeding them fresh snow peas. Showing them the best way to handle her sister's rabbits. Teaching them how to tell the trees apart. Gazing at the stars and making up constellations on warm summer nights while her siblings argue and at least one tries to teach them the correct constellations and her father just laughs and falls asleep to their banter.
She used to want to be just like her mother.
She missed her mother.
But when they first began their acquaintance with the boys, Lola had asked the girls to keep her music-related job a secret. It was too much hassle and honestly, she couldn't talk about 90% of her work anyway due to privacy agreements. Movies and TV shows were rather protective of their projects before publication.
Song had let slip that she had another job, which was fine. Lola still couldn't talk about her work, not without informing her bosses that she was...associating with people from another entertainment company. Artists. She didn't particularly want them to know anyway.
In the meantime, while she was free of extra worries with them out of the country, she was able to to focus on other issues--Keely's restaurant and hiring a new chef to do the job she was currently doing in Keely's stead so that Lola could focus on the paperwork instead. Getting Keely to agree had been a rough ride, but Keely agreed and a new chef was hired that showed great promise.
To her delight, she was actually able to spend a whole day in her studio toward the end of their absence, with only the occasional and highly welcome interruptions from Song and Keely to remind her to eat food and stay hydrated. Her apartment stayed clean, her fridge wasn't raided, she was able to walk through the apartment without being surprised by company and all three of them managed to stay in pajamas for the whole day.
"I can breathe again," Lola told her brother over the phone. "How can such busy people always be around?"
Trevor just laughed. "Beats me. Must be motivated. Now, for the music on the fight scene with the minor villain--"
Her world was peaceful (even if she was still in pain, she could live with it) and she renewed her resolve to interact less with people for her own health.
And then Song gave her those big, innocent, desperately pleading eyes.
"Just one dinner, I want to get to know Anna-ssi and I get so nervous around all of them alone. Please, Unnie? PLease say you'll come?"
And Lola caved.
"Fine, I'll bring brownies," Lola agreed reluctantly, patting Song's head as the younger girl hugged her ecstatically. Lola had avoided going to the boys' dorm up to this point rather successfully, deeming it dangerous and unnecessary territory. She didn't like not having control of her thoughts and the feeling of losing control of her actions petrified her.
"Unnie?" Song whispered, sounding nervous.
"Hmm?" Lola hummed, combing her fingers through Song's hair and taking a second to try and alter her energy to a calmer one. Song became restless and nervous so easily if Lola didn't curb her own nerves or showed any sign of discomfort, even if Song had no reason to be nervous, that Lola had been trying very hard to cover it up.
"Do you like Hoseok-oppa?"
Figures it would be one of her ducklings stabbing her heart.
Lola took a moment to process it. "Why...would you think that? No. Don't answer that. Don't. Please, Song. Even if I did, which I don't, it isn't worth pursuing." Lola couldn't look at her, that pain blossoming all over again and this time with a migraine for vengeance.
"Unnie--"
"Song," Lola cut off firmly, feeling bad for doing so, "please...don't. If we are soulmates, fine, but I'm not going to pursue something. I'm happy to live my life as it is. They hardly need me in their lives making it more...their fascination is temporary and fleeting and my involvement is limited to you and your wellbeing."
"Unnie, you know that you're allowed to have desires and happiness, too, right?" Song asked gently, looking worried. So she was worried about her. Great. That would make life infinitely more difficult.
"Their lives don't meld with mine, and time will show it. I have enough on my plate. They have enough on their plate. I'm just happy to support you and Seokjin's happiness." Lola cupped Song's face in her hands and rubbed their noses, to hide her lies and also witness Song melting happily at the easy affection and the mention of her soulmate.
Thankfully, the doorbell rang at that moment.
Song gasped and darted for the door, conversation immediately tossed away. "He's back!"
Lola laughed a little to herself as Song paused to check her appearance in the mirror and tamp down her over-excitement to just excitement ("There's a difference, unnie, and over-excitement leads to accidents. Keely is a prime example: remember the chipped tooth incident?") and opened the door.
"Jin-oppa!" She hopped forward, out of sight.
Lola shook her head, still smiling and check the time, not wanting to miss her video call with her father and a couple of her siblings.
"Unnie? Anna was hurt in the airport...." Song started, grabbing Lola's attention again from near the front door, holding onto Jin's arm nervously.
Lola waited for the rest of the information, but Song didn't seem to know how to proceed.
"Is she...on her way to the hospital? Did she miss the flight? Was she seriously hurt?" Lola asked, finally looking at Jin when Song's face went blank.
"She blacked out when she hit her head, it was...a thing, and she won't go see a doctor. I know you and Song have some medical training because of Keely, so I said I'd ask if one of you could check her just to be safe," Seokjin explained, ears turning red.
Lola glanced at the time again. "Yeah, no problem. Song, you'll be doing secondary checking if she isn't concussed to the point of needing to go to the hospital." Lola would have advised going to the hospital no matter what, but the situation being what it was, they would just have to keep a close eye on her.
"Where's Keely?" Song asked, worried.
"Out with a friend, I've got her location," Lola gestured for them to lead the way, "I don't know where your apartment is."
"Right," Jin said, leading the way.
It wasn't entirely true. She knew where their apartment was for safety purposes, specifically the safety of Song and Keely, but knowing a general location and the exact location were different and she still needed him to get into the apartment.
Lola tried to brace herself for the crowd, brace herself for seeing Hoseok.
She went straight to Anna, worried a bit when she saw the cut on her head.
But, first things first.
"Congratulations," She told the newlyweds, then pointed at Namjoon (crouched beside the couch) and flicked her fingers away. "Now move."
Namjoon did so, sitting in a chair nearby, within easy reach.
Lola had learned how to diagnose concussions twice. Her father taught her when her older brother played hockey (it didn't last long), and then again when she went through several wilderness first aid courses to continue as a full counselor and first aid worker at the local summer camp.
Now it served her well since she was on a constant watch for Keely's well-being.
She missed working at the camp.
But Anna's concussion appeared to be mild, so Lola gave them instructions as such, making notes for Song.
And Song, to her credit, managed to catch the notebook when it was tossed to her. "Two hours?"
Lola nodded. "Yeah," she answered verbally for good measure, standing up to make her escape.
"Thanks Lola, " Namjoon said looking relieved.
Lola attempted a smile. "No problem. Song, call me if there's an issue. Glad you guys got back safely," she said, moving toward the door.
Jimin popped up like a spring. "Hey, you should stay a while."
And she hadn't seen Hoseok, so maybe she might have since she did care about Jimin, even if it wasn't in the way he desired. She wanted to ask about their trip and about hte wedding.
But--
"I have a video call to make in about fifteen minutes," she said apologetically, feeling bad at his obvious disappointment.
"But I got her to agree to come to the dinner party tomorrow!" Song grinned, having already stolen Seokjin's sweatshirt to hide her insecurities in. Adorable.
Jimin brightened immediately. "Great! See you tomorrow."
Lola smiled as well. "See you."
She caught a mere glimpse of Hoseok as she slipped out the door and her chest felt like she was getting stabbed again.
It was definitely getting worse.
How was she going to survive a whole evening around him?