Work Text:
"Leave"
It was the first word that Alhaitham's ears heard after being properly dressed in front of the blonde. At those moments he was with the same indifferent face as always, a straight line was the shape of his lips and his eyes were as dead as they were every day. He waited patiently for Aether to leave that room, that intimate place he shared with Kaveh, a place where he had once whispered the sweetest and warmest words to her.
But now, he waited for his lover to get the hell out of there and leave him and Kaveh alone.
When Aether finally had the dignity to leave was when he was able to open her mouth. He swallowed hard and with his same stoic face, he spoke. Alhaitham tried to maintain the serious face he wore every day and it never seemed to change.
"Kaveh, Aether and I were just..." he clenched his fists trying to find the perfect lie, but nothing seemed to come to his mind.
Seeing that Alhaitham could not speak, Kaveh decided that he would be the one to have the first and last word in all that discussion. His face was expressionless and Alhaitham believed that it was a facade and that the man in front of him would start crying in a matter of seconds. However, his surprise was great at the sweet smile that Kaveh outlined.
"Please, could you leave the room for a moment?" Kaveh said "I'd like to give you something before we talk about this topic.”
He didn't have time to reply. In a few seconds the sound of the door closing exploded behind him, who had been dragged out by the blond. What the hell had happened? Even his serious face collapsed from that smile, it's as if all the alarm and fear buttons were suddenly pushed at Kaveh's sweet and cruel smile.
Why was Kaveh smiling?
If I could erase you. I would erase you
Once he closed the door, Kaveh covered his mouth trying to wipe the idiotic smile off his face, a smile that was soon extinguished by the tears that began to emerge from his eyes, falling little by little, wetting his cheeks.
What had he just seen?
He just wanted to take out his eyes and soak them in acid for at least a year, then cut off his ears and pierce his eardrums, to never hear Aether's disgusting moans on loop and Alhaitham's voice telling him "I love you" again.
Kaveh wanted to smash everything in that damn room. Incinerate curtains and sheets. Burn books and cabinets. Break pictures and photos. He wanted to end it all.
He sighed, letting his crying be quiet and subtle. Kaveh grabbed the Alhaitham's bags that were under the bed and began to pack an endless number of things that he was completely sure he would never want to see again in all his miserable life. When he had finished folding the last pair of pants and arranged the last pair of shoes, he went out the door, open it and faced Alhaitham once again.
“Get out of here.”
He slid the bags of the other man across the floor, causing them to fall towards Alhaitham's feet. Yes, it was Alhaitham the one who was leaving, not him.
“What? Kaveh wait, I need to explain…” he muttered "You can't do this..."
“Of course I can, fucking narcissistic!" he shouted "Even at this moment, Alhaitham, I think that if you have done all of this shit, it's my fault” Kaveh said, starting to cry desperately trying to tell his brain to kill his heart so that it stops articulating sentences that continue to humiliate him “Let's tell ourselves the truth Alhaitham, if you could erase me of your life...you would do it" "You treat me as you want, because I'm a prisoner of your damn jail!" the blonde shout "I'm a prisoner of your stupid, stubborn and selfish heart!"
Alhaitham was petrified. Kaveh's words were harsh, to the point, and straight to the heart.
“Even in these moments seriously, I still seriously want to believe that you are looking for a way to apologize, to tell me that this is a joke. But I'm tired.” he mentioned with a mocking tone “Go and flutter somewhere else, maybe there's some other stupid who wants to fall into your cage.”
He couldn't take it anymore, he wanted to shut him up.
Alhaitham took the suitcases and threw them somewhere in the corridor of the place and pounced on the blond, kissing him furiously.
Kaveh was saying stupid things, right?
Kaveh wasn't throwing him away, right?
Kaveh wasn't getting rid of him, right?
Right?
How can you be free, while I am a prisoner
A strong push pulled him out of his stupidest thoughts. Kaveh was wiping his lips wildly with his shirt sleeve, it's as if he wanted to get rid of the taste of the Academiya scholar's lips.
“Don't touch me...if this had been yesterday maybe...maybe everything would have ended in that bed that now reeks of Aether. I probably would have let you make fun of me again..." he swallowed hard again. "This is the first time you've offered for me to stay here. But without loving you already, what would I gain?
Alhaitham no longer knew how many more times he would be surprised by Kaveh that same day. He tried to get closer to the blond again, but this time what was waiting for him was a strong slap.
I have given up on you definitely
“I said clearly that you are going away. Pick up your fucking bags and get out of here. I don't want to see you here anymore never again. Do you understand?”
Kaveh turned and walked back into the polluted room.
Now he was alone, again he let his eyes water and the tears flow. And although it was a heavy thing to bear on his heart, although he told many lies in that conversation, although he denied in every possible way his great love for Alhaitham, now he was free.
He was no longer a sparrow prisoner and he hoped to soon understand that…that was fine.