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It was a beautiful summer afternoon - if a little too hot as per the norm for Los Diablos. This high, on the shaded rooftop of an apartment building that Ricardo doubted Ewan actually lived in, there was enough breeze for both men to be comfortable. More importantly, it was private. The sounds of the city below were distant enough that they could be together in their own little world. No cameras on the roof, and one small bribe later, Ricardo had been walking away with the key to the door to ensure they wouldn't be disturbed for a while.
And so here they were. Ricardo lounged on the picnic blanket, enjoying his beer while it was still cold. Ewan was sprawled out beside him, head in his lap, his own preferred soda set to one side in the shade as he made himself comfortable with his legs propped up on the pillows. It had taken some doing, but some gentle encouragement from Ricardo, and the promise of privacy, had led Ewan to submit to the sun's overbearing heat and shed a few layers. He was wearing a white undershirt that left his lean, muscular arms on full display, his orange re-gene tattoos bright and obvious against his dark skin.
Ricardo would've called it a simple step not so long ago - baring his arms around other people. Now, he felt his chest swell with affection and pride. Even in the privacy of his apartment, with all the blinds drawn, he'd always been flighty and anxious with any of his body on display. He'd never seen him so exposed and so relaxed at the same time - and despite everything they'd been through so far, it was him he felt able to be so relaxed around. Past him was wrong; this was a massive step - for both Ewan and their relationship.
"What are you smiling about?"
Ricardo was drawn out of his thoughts by the question, and he realised that Ewan was watching him, a slight frown on his face though there was no accusation in the words.
"Only how much I love you," he told him honestly with a grin and a wink.
Ewan rolled his eyes, the slight tension leaving his shoulders as he turned his head away with a fond mumble of "idiot", his locs spilling over Ricardo's lap as he moved. At the same time, his hand moved to knock twice, almost subconsciously, on his chest right over his heart.
It was something Ricardo had noticed several times now, usually in response to him saying those words. He didn't know what it meant but didn't think Ewan was completely aware he did it, and the gesture had garnered enough meaning in his head that he didn't want to risk it stopping if he asked.
So he kept quiet, running his fingers over his jawline, over the stubble that was Ewan's most recent attempt at growing out a beard (he'd tried to reassure him after his last attempt that, his own glorious facial hair aside, many cis men could relate to his struggle. Ewan was stubborn.)
"I've got something for you," he told him, and Ewan's dark eyes snapped back to him immediately, brow furrowed in suspicion.
"Why?" he asked, voice clipped and to the point.
Ricardo rolled his eyes and shook his head and pretended his heart wasn't clenching in his chest with the reminder that that was his first reaction to someone showing him any kindness.
"It's just something I hoped you might enjoy," he told him softly. "Something I don't think you've ever had the chance to experience before." He paused in his digging through his bag to fix Ewan with a look, making sure he knew he was being earnest. "You'll always be safe with me, Beans."
The tension and nerves seemed to drain from him then, expression softening with the use of the familiar nickname. Ricardo could even see the relief there as he fiddled with a crease in his shirt - neither of them were blind to the fact that this was the first time he'd used it since Ewan had confessed. Somehow "I love you" had been the easier thing to say; gasped out between sobs and pleas the first time he'd checked in to find Ewan bleeding over the counter, the knife in his hand far too steady despite the tears streaming down his face.
He'd been sure to stop by as often as he could get away with after that.
Ricardo pushed back the painful thoughts as he found what he was looking for in his bag, pulling the bottle free and reluctantly retrieving his other hand from where it had progressed to tracing Ewan's tattoos when he remembered he needed both hands for this.
A brief blow into the wand initially, and Ewan blinked back in surprise as his attention was dragged away from a pigeon that had settled on the nearby railing, watching the bubbles that floated down around him as though they might explode at any moment. Ricardo smiled and popped one, watching Ewan flinch briefly before reaching for the next one himself. He seemed fascinated by the bubbles, watching with rapt attention as Ricardo raised the bubble wand to his lips once more.
As he watched Ewan raise himself up shakily on his elbows, tilting his head this way and that to follow the bubbles, he was struck suddenly by the bizarre reality of their situation. The laugh fell from his lips before he could stop it, and he felt Ewan's eyes land on him.
"What's so funny?" he asked him uncertainly, and Ricardo smiled fondly as he cupped Ewan's cheek, tracing his lips with his thumb. The touch was apparently soothing enough to calm his frayed nerves, as he relaxed back onto his lap, eyes fluttering closed to enjoy the gentle affection.
"Us, I suppose," he admitted. "I'm sure neither of us expected to end up here. The former Marshal of the Rangers and one of Los Diablos' most infamous villains, blowing bubbles on a rooftop together."
"Sounds like the start of a bad joke," Ewan agreed, lips quirking in amusement. "But I am grateful." He caught his hand, brought it to his lips for a gentle kiss, and Ricardo couldn't hide his smile even if he wanted to. But it wasn't long before Ewan's head got in the way of the easy affection between them, and he released his hand as though burned, turning away with a thick swallow. "Can I have a turn?"
Ricardo had to tear his eyes away from the bob of his throat as he spoke, and it took him a moment to register what he had said and what it meant. He retrieved the bubble wand from the bottle, tapping it against the edge until he was confident it wouldn't drip before holding it out to him right as the breeze changed direction.
He spluttered, a half-choked "Beans!" falling from his lips as he fell back from the faceful of bubbles that seemed to be intentionally chasing after him. He waved his hand in front of his face in an attempt to swat them away.
The threat averted, Ricardo's bewildered expression met Ewan's mirroring wide-eyed stare for a long few moments.
He wasn't sure which of them started laughing first, but it wasn't long before the small rooftop was alive with laughter.
"I shouldn't be surprised," he managed, "of course the first time Beans blows bubbles, they immediately attack me." Ewan laughed harder at that, and Ricardo was recovered enough to gently cup his cheek, smile soft, fond, and wistful. "I haven't heard you laugh like that in 8 years." Ewan quieted at his words, cheek warming beneath his hand.
"It feels like I lost a lot when I died. Or after, with the Farm." He frowned slightly, trying to think of the right words to describe his feelings. He reached up for Ricardo's hand, linking their fingers together and holding him in place against his cheek. "Being around you helps me realise maybe I haven't lost as much as I thought I had. Or that there's a chance of healing, maybe? I don't know." Ewan let out an awkward laugh, uncomfortable with the uncharacteristic sharing and optimism, but Ricardo gently caught his cheek as he made to turn his head away. His chest felt warm with the unusual show of affection, his feelings overriding what little sense of common sense the sensible part of his brain had been straining to keep.
"I'll always be here for you, Beans," he told him firmly. And Ewan hated eye contact like it was painful but he met his gaze full on then, desperately trying to read him, and Ricardo projected as much sincerity as he could into his expression. "I promised you I wouldn't leave you again, and I meant it. Anything you need, I'm there."
"Anything?" Surprising neither of them, Ewan broke eye contact first, raising a brow in amusement and breaking the strange heaviness the previous conversation had brought over them both. "Careful, Sparkles, you don't know what I might ask. Imagine if Chen could see you now, on the cusp of being dragged into my villainy."
"Well, some things would be up for discussion." He flicked him playfully between the eyes, chuckling as he screwed up his face in bemusement at the gesture.
But this afternoon they'd carved out for themselves, despite the easy, comfortable atmosphere between them (something Ricardo had feared lost for good when dealing with the emotional fallout of Ewan's confession), couldn't last forever. As the sun began to sink towards the horizon, Ewan became restless on his lap. Ricardo wasn't surprised not long after when he suggested in a quiet voice that it was time for him to head back downstairs.
He pushed himself up so he was sitting, Ricardo hovering until he was up securely before tidying away the remains of their afternoon while Ewan restored his many layers of clothes. Then he retrieved his crutches propped up against the wall nearby. Ewan thanked him, and it was likely a sign of how much he was struggling that he accepted his support in getting to his feet, getting situated on the crutches, without any complaint.
It was slower going down those first stairs to the top floor than it had been going up them. Ricardo was in no rush, taking each step at Ewan's pace, staying just one step ahead and half turned towards him so he'd be ready to intervene should he fall. He wasn't sure if that was for his own peace of mind or for Ewan's, but he'd already lost him to one fall, and he wasn't about to risk another.
As they came to the longer flights of stairs between floors, Ewan hesitated for the first time. His arms trembled, his grip tightening visibly on the handles of the crutches. He stood at the top of the stairs, shifting his weight from foot to foot as though attempting to bolster himself to take the first step but clearly too afraid to do so. With the lift broken, they had no choice, and Ricardo hesitated before joining him again at the top of the stairs.
"Will you let me help you?" he asked him softly.
For a moment, he thought Ewan might say no, might relent to whatever voice of self-preservation in his head had so thoroughly convinced him that showing any weakness was a potentially fatal mistake. But then he gave the smallest of nods, expression set as though his destination were the gallows.
Ricardo waited patiently while he repositioned his crutches, before curling an arm around his back, the other reaching oh-so-carefully under his knees, trying to make the transition as gentle as possible as he lifted him, taking a moment to ensure he was secure in his arms.
"Do not drop me." Ewan's voice was soft despite the implied threat in the words as he began his descent, but Ricardo did not doubt his intention to follow through.
"I'll never drop you," he promised. He had a dozen teasing comments about the bridal carry vying for attention in his brain, but seeing as Ewan might actually push himself out of his arms if he said one out loud, he decided to bite his tongue. He preferred it like this, anyway, as Ewan wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tucked his head into the crook of his neck.
It was three floors down to the apartment Ewan was staying in, but Ricardo was most definitely not complaining.
He set Ewan down when they got there, making sure he was comfortable on the sofa with his crutches easily within reach, and pressing a kiss to his forehead while he had the rare height advantage.
"Dinner?" he asked him then, already walking towards the kitchen area because he knew if he left now, Ewan would be eating something that had gone direct from a can to the microwave.
Unacceptable.
"Are you just looking for an excuse to stay longer?"
"Is that a no?"
There was silence for a few moments before Ewan relented.
"Dinner would be amazing," he admitted.
"Your wish is my command." Ricardo was already digging through the fridge for the ingredients he'd snuck in earlier as he said it.
Moments like this couldn't last forever. But he could make this one last just a little longer.