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BREAKING: AGNI KAI BANNED
Agni Kai are Ag-no more. Fire Lord Zuko announced earlier today that he and his council passed a late-night resolution to ban the practice, effective immediately. The arena where the honor duels were typically held was closed to the media since late this morning. Guards stationed at the dueling space would not comment on the future use of this space in the capital and also refused to comment on absolutely anything. Rest assured our sources are investigating this confusing turn of events—the first major political action since Fire Lord Zuko and Lady Mai officially separated, and if reports are true, Ambassador Katara officially moved into the Fire Palace. |
The Flare
On Ji Opines: AGNI KAI OR AGNI K-I-S-S-I-N-G?
Over the past several weeks, the newsroom at The Flare has talked about little besides the explosive Ember Island Entanglement (for more, see my recent 17 columns), so this morning’s news of Fire Lord Zuko’s first political move since his scandal broke initially didn’t grab us. Sure, Agni Kai aren’t very nice, but are they really more newsworthy than the high-definition photos of Ambassador Katara shopping for ocean kumquats last week? (For more, see my column “KUMQUAT? We’re in public!”)
But, your correspondent is always developing new theories about the news that matters most, and I am excited to share that I believe the elimination of Agni Kai has more to do with the Fire Lord’s personal life than he’d have us all believe!
You know that the Ember Island Entanglement officially broke four months ago, and that barely one week later Lady Mai was off to Kyoshi Island as if she’d never lived in the Fire Palace at all. Two weeks after that, Sokka of the Water Tribe was seen to be lugging what seemed to be very heavy boxes off a ship in the capitol harbor. Perhaps Katara’s luggage? (And if you think that Katara would have carried that luggage herself after Sokka’s big slip-up—see my column, "Investigating the Investigator, A Q&A with Sokka Himself"—when he helped to reveal her scandalous affair with the Fire Lord, then you’re probably Bo in marketing and you should have a good cry about how you don’t have a well-loved, long-running column to share your thoughts, hmm Bo?)
But I’m burying the lede. The truth is that yesterday was the ten-year anniversary of Fire Lord Zuko and Ambassador Katara’s legendary duel with the Princess Azula (may she find healing).
You heard it here first. The banning of the Agni Ki is a token of love from our Fire Lord to his consort—who is definitely, definitely living in the Fire Palace, and probably doesn’t have her own room!
The Fire Palace did not respond to request for comment on Fire Lord Zuko’s legislative love token.