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Invisible Friends: Unexpected Friends
by duointherain
Disclaimer: I don’t own The Witcher. My weird story ideas are not a reflection on canon Witcher, but I hope you enjoy them.
“My Lord,” Alvin said, bowing deeply, extra deeply as he did not want to meet the Viscount’s eyes or deliver the message he’d agreed to carry. “I have deeply unsettling news.”
The Viscount was not young anymore, aged by The Ritual as much as time. His left shoulder slumped and his eyes no longer tracked together, but the left one went whichever direction it wished. He sat at his breakfast, as yet uneaten, and groaned. “Did Julian bite someone else?”
Bad news was almost always about his son. The boy was clever and willful, with too much siren blood for his or anyone else’s good. Things would be better for the boy when he was older and forgot who he was.
“No, My Lord. Everyone is too afraid of him for that to ever happen again. This is worse. Queen Elegir came to see him and she gave him a kraken. For the last three days, he giggles like a mad man and will eat only raw fish that the sirens bring for him.”
“He’s too young to be a mad man,” Viscount Alfred said firmly, feeling guilty that he did not spend more time with his son. The boy would one day fulfill his role as viscount if he were mad or not and being mad might actually make it easier. “There is no way there is a kraken in his rooms. There’s not enough room.”
“I have seen it myself, My Lord. It is small, perhaps a baby itself, but it spit acid on Merry when Julian cried about being punished for not doing his homework. Burned a hole in her dress, which the palace was then obliged to pay for replacement. Please talk to the boy, My Lord.”
“Was Merry hurt?”
“No, not at all, but the kraken chased her from the rooms and it threw a fish at her. It was a rotten fish.”
Alfred laughed heartily. “I expect it was, or it would have eaten the fish and Merry as well. We will all be in dire straits if Julian develops a taste for human flesh.”
“I wouldn’t be the first time,” Alvin half whispered.
“We will not discuss my father. This is why we should not interbreed with the Sirens anymore.”
“It can’t be helped when the blood line grows weak.”
“We will not be discussing my flaws either,” Alfred said firmly. Having lost appetite for breakfast, he threw down his napkin and rose. “Go to market. Bring me fresh fish, alive if possible. I will visit Julian today.”
Alvin bowed again, almost a 45 degree angle. “Should we prepare a switch for the boy?”
“No,” Alfred said firmly. “Also, let it be known that if Julian is to be disciplined, I will be the one to do it. No one else is to touch him.”
Still in his bow, Alvin half whispered, “My Lord, the boy is already powerful. We could start The Ritual early.”
That ended the bow as Alfred grabbed the man by the back of the neck and smashed his face against the oak table three times, leaving blood splatters to decorate the uneaten breakfast. “If that ever comes out of your mouth again, I will know and I will cut your tongue out, shove it down your throat with my fist, until your lungs explode from lack of air. Do you understand me, completely and clearly, Alvin Sand?”
“Yes, My Lord, please forgive me.” The man’s nose was smashed in on itself and one cheekbone was bent inside out.
“Alvin, I love my son. He will never endure The Ritual. I am going to change the treaty with the Sirens. Mark my word, he will not bleed for this town. He will be free and safe.”
“My Lord,” Alvin said, somewhat agreeing with such an impossible statement. The Viscount Lettenhove was not going to wander the world telling stories, drinking ale, and fucking a witcher. Nothing could be more ridiculous. The Ritual did provoke madness though and the current Viscount was not strong. Alvin thought he survived the annual Ritual out of sheer spite, to protect a boy he was afraid of.
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Later that afternoon, Alfred Vernon Pankratz unbarred the door into his son’s room and announced himself, a bucket full of fish in one hand. “Juli! Papa has come to see you!”
“Papa!” Dandelion exploded from the study room with Bob wrapped around his head like a turban. “Papa! Papa!”
Like an overexcited kitten the boy fairly climbed up his dad’s leg and threw his arms around the brittle man’s neck. “Papa! I’m so happy to see you? How are you? Do you like herring? I have some herring! I can read you a story! Bob didn’t mean to scare Merry, but she was going to hit me!”
The little boy snuggled his dad, before squirming back down to run towards the food room. “I’ll get you herring! Sit down, Papa!”
Alfred was ready to sit down. Somehow recovery after The Ritual took longer every year and he never seemed to make it back to the strength and health he’d had when he was young. The truth of his own weakness ground against his soul, but there were different ways to be strong. He would protect Julian from all of The Ritual.
His boy ran back into the bedroom, holding a herring with its head bitten off. “This is a good one! Here! It’ll make you feel full and full of energy!”
Alfred reached out to touch the boy’s bloody cheek. “Don’t eat raw fish, Julian. Humans don’t do that.”
“But it’s yummy!” He proved that by taking another bite of the fish he was offering to his dad. “Bob likes fish too!”
“Is that Bob on your head?” Alfred asked, not reaching out to touch the tentacled beast.
“Yes, this is Bob! He’s smart and clever,” Dandelion said, literally bouncing up on the balls of his feet and back, over and over again. “Can I go to the ocean for summer? Queen Eliger said I could!”
“We’ll have to see,” Alfred said, soft selling the eventual no. “We have to be human, Julian. That is how we keep the peace with the Sirens and their pets. You can’t live with a kraken. He has to go back to the ocean.”
“No no,” Dandelion said, pulling Bob from his head, hugging him tenderly. “I’m taking really good care of him. He is potty trained and he likes when I read to him! He won’t spit at anyone anymore.”
“Julian,” Alfred said firmly. “We can not have a kraken in the palace. It’s not proper. Think about how big he’ll get. I know it can get lonely. I’ll buy you a human friend, if you promise not to bite them.”
“If they say mean things,” Dandelion said sullenly, blue eyes narrowing stubbornly, “They get the teeth. That’s the rules.”
“Your rules and you are not viscount so they don’t count. No biting humans. Just because they say something stupid, doesn’t mean we bite them. We’re human.”
“I’m not and my name is Dandelion.” Dandelion shoved his hand into the bucket with the fish and saltwater. It turned a deep royal blue. “See? Not human? Did you stop loving me?”
“I will always love you, my son. Where did Dandelion come from?” Alfred asked, although he already knew. His wife, when they’d been in love and spending time together, had wanted to name the baby Dandelion. He had to explain to her that dandelions were not valuable flowers, but weeds. She had disagreed, finding them the most beautiful land flowers.
“The Siren gave it to me. I don’t like Julian. I really don’t like being called Juli. Bob says I can ask to be called whatever I want. He’s older than me, but just small by nature. When he gets bigger, I’ll go live with him in the ocean. I can come back when you need me too. The Sirens aren’t afraid of me.”
“I expect if you bite one of them, they’ll kick your ass. Keep that in mind, Dandelion. Here you are the Viscount’s son, and you might be lonely, but everyone exists to serve you. In Atlantis where the Sirens live, you are one of many and not the best at all, just a half breed who doesn’t know their culture or ways. You would be better served learning to fit in here.”
“I don’t fit in here,” Dandelion said sadly, as if the state were permanent. No human would ever be comfortable around him, not the way Bob was. “I will not send Bob away. He’s my friend and he can stay until he’s too big. to be comfortable. The humans can just stay out of my rooms if they’re afraid.”
“If you don’t eat fruit you’ll get scurvy, Dandelion.”
“Fine, they can put the fruit in when we’re sleeping like they always do. And cookies. Bob and I like cookies.”
“Don’t let Bob eat cookies. Wheat is not good for him. He only eats meat. If he gets a belly ache his howling will shake the palace, even at his size.”
“I like cookies,” Bob said firmly. “I don’t get belly ache.”
“Holy fucking shit, it talks.” Alfred leaned back in the chair, old scars aching. “Dandelion, the world is a dangerous place and I want only to protect you.”
“What kind of fish are these,” Dandelion asked, pulling out a small herring from the bucket his father had brought.
“Herrings,” Bob said, opening his beak so Dandelion could drop the fish in. “Yummy.”
“Okay, that’s enough of that,” Alfred said as he grabbed Bob by one if his larger tentacles and ripped him out of Dandelion’s arms. “No kraken in the palace!”
With long strides the Viscount made his way to the food room and with a mighty stamp he opened the moon lid to the well. He dropped Bob into the black water within.
Dandelion screamed as soon as his friend was ripped away from him and ran after in stockinged feet, his little arms reaching out as he screamed for his father to let go of his friend. As Bob sank into the dark water, Dandelion dove in after him, barely missing being caught by his father’s hand.
“Get back here, Julian,” Alfred howled, but the boy swam deeper into the water, having no fear and no trouble breathing as his gills opened easily in the salt water, his tail forming of his legs and latent magic. A flourish of a tail that moved water enough to send a wave splashing over his father’s legs. Bob wrapped a tentacle around Dandelion's arm and guided him down the well, across the water bridge, into the harbor, and the rest of the way to Atlantis.