Chapter Text
Sometimes love so forbidden has a charm that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Or maybe, sometimes heartbreak just felt too good to possibly ignore.
At least that's what Namjoon thought anyway.
But really, what did he know?
At the ripe old age of 21, Kim Namjoon couldn't really call himself an expert on love, much less a philosopher on romance.
At this age, Namjoon couldn't call himself much of anything really; not even when it seemed the world was intent on making him take on such a title the older he grew and his world slowly began to change around him. But of course, life was full of change; Namjoon knew that.
Although, he would have to politely disagree whenever he was told change was always for the better.
He’d learned the hard way that wasn't always the truth.
You see, at first the changes had been subtle, much to what Namjoon could recall.
Already living a tumultuous life, Namjoon had seen his world first shift when his mother had managed to get a new job halfway across the city; his nights soon quickly spent alone as Namjoon was left to his own devices while his mother worked unusually long hours he could never get a grasp on.
The second shift had come weeks later after that and had been much more obvious. The sound of his mother singing in their home about love an unusual occurrence since the last time his mother had ever been this happy was a long, long time ago. Way back when Namjoon’s father had still been in the picture.
Up until that point, there hadn't been a reason for music to play in his house and especially not music about love.
And yet suddenly, before he knew it, his home was full of it; the reason behind it still vague to him since his mother avoided each and every one of his questions.
But really, if Namjoon had to talk about the changes that love brought and what little he knew about it himself, then Namjoon was sure the discussion would not be a pleasant one.
Namjoon figured he had his mother to thank for that, almost depressingly so.
From the moment he had first stepped out into the world, Namjoon had been subject to his mother's peculiar form of affection or rather, the pure lack of it. Whether he was good or bad, Namjoon knew it didn't make much difference; to his mother, it was all the same either way.
Growing up, Namjoon learned a cold shoulder was a cold shoulder no matter how hard you tried to please it.
Sadly, what Namjoon did manage to learn from the only woman in his life though, was that in his mother's eyes, there wasn't a love in the world that money couldn't buy.
Being a single mother with a kid on her hands, Namjoon didn't find it hard to understand why someone would believe such a cruel thing like that.
Nor could he judge her when there were wedding bells suddenly ringing on their doorstep one day; the look on his mother's face as she relayed the perceived good news of her upcoming nuptials was one Namjoon swore he’d never forget.
Standing in their small living room of the one-bedroom apartment they called home, Namjoons mother had stood grinning ear to ear; her cocktail dress shimmering under the cheap fluorescent lights as she had thrust out her hand to show off her new and shiny engagement ring.
"Eomma's finally hit the jackpot, honey," she’d said as her eyes had gleamed with barely contained greed, and that's when Namjoon knew the last change had finally shifted into place.
Had known instantly it was the end of that chapter of his life.
Only little did he know what the second chapter had in store for him.
Or rather, who it had waiting for him.
But soon, Namjoon would find out.
Fate itself would make sure of it.
It always did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You see, Namjoon had been troubled for a long, long time; a pang of growing guilt seemingly eating him alive the longer the years flew past and his secret sank deeper and deeper inside him.
And really, who could blame him?
It's not every day you find yourself falling in love with the very people you aren't supposed to even covet. Yet here Namjoon was, pining for a love he could never earn or get.
But Namjoon was getting ahead of himself, his mind bringing forward his earliest memory of them as he thought back to when his troubles had first begun.
It was August when Namjoon’s life had truly come to a halt; the blue sky overhead not yet gray as winter had yet to be upon them as the seasons had slowly started to turn. Leaves beginning to fall from the trees, Namjoon had stood by his mother as they waited quietly side by side; the crisp autumn breeze gently fanning their faces as they watched the road carefully as time seemed to crawl by.
He doesn't know how long they stood there waiting, his best Sunday clothes hugging his frame the only protection he had against the wind. But just when he felt himself grow more and more anxious while the sky overhead grew darker by the minute, Namjoon could only shift nervously as his own thoughts soon began to follow suit.
Cursing under his breath softly while the minutes soon stretched into an hour; Namjoon’s frown grew deeper as he’d waited for his mother's fiance who’d seemed to be in no hurry to arrive on time.
Eyes glued to the road while he’d kept watch, Namjoon had figured maybe it would’ve been for the best if the man never arrived; the wave of immense guilt immediately coursing through him making him jump in his seat as the thought had quickly left his mind.
It was a selfish thing for Namjoon to hope for; if not a monstrous one. This man, this stranger who was set to be his new stepfather, had done him no harm.
And by the look on his mother's face as she’d caught something moving farther down the road, it was safe to say she hadn't received any harm either. So how could Namjoon possibly harbor any hate for someone he didn't even know?
Brows furrowing deeply as the question lingered at the back of his mind, Namjoon found his thoughts broken when his mother suddenly exclaimed; her chiffon skirt swishing wildly in the breeze as she sprang forward and waved at a sleek black car Namjoon had never seen slowly coming up the drive.
It was then that he knew his mother's fiance had arrived…
Only Namjoon hadn't expected the vehicle to look so….expensive as it did when it shone like polished obsidian under the rays of the false sun hanging low above them.
Nor had he expected more than one person to exit the vehicle when it finally managed to come to a stop just a few feet away from them.
That had really been the biggest surprise of all that day.
“Nae Sarange, you made it!”
Springing forward as a tall and statuesque giant of a man stepped out from inside the blacked-out vehicle, Namjoon stared wide-eyed after his mother's moving figure; caution all but thrown to the wind as she practically raced toward the man now standing before them.
Chiseled and decked in clothes Namjoon was sure had cost a fortune, Namjoon had watched the man raise a hand to wave at his mother; the thick gold bands of rings on the man's fingers making Namjoon blink as they had shone brightly under the sun as he’d reached out to quickly embrace her.
Standing a few feet away with his hands clasped awkwardly in front of him, Namjoon had witnessed the pair finally come together; the sight of the couple hugging under the sun almost like one of the paintings Namjoon had always liked to admire in passing.
It would have all been perfect and incredibly romantic….
Or so it would’ve been if it hadn't been for the two figures who had stood stiffly side by side as they’d stared at Namjoon and his mother from where they stood by their car.
And, oh… this man…had children?
Safe to say It’d been a relief for Namjoon to learn he wouldn't have been the only unwilling participant in the sudden and abrupt union.
Although not as comforting a realization as he’d hoped for, Namjoon had figured it’d be better than nothing. At least this way, if he’d suddenly gained a brother or two then maybe he wouldn't have to deal with his mother on his own anymore.
Keyword maybe.
Brows furrowing as the edges of his lips twitched downward in the slightest, Namjoon knew he should have seemed more enthusiastic about the news of gaining a new family. It wasn't every day you found out your family would be growing, especially for the better.
But while he had stood staring at the two boys standing idly across from him while his mother fawned over the new man in her life, Namjoon had found himself questioning just how good could this new family actually be?
By the way the stoic pair had seemed to glare in his direction, Namjoon had been sure his future siblings had been thinking the same things he had been.
Well… so much for them getting off to a great start, Namjoon had groaned internally.
“Sorry we're late Jagiya, you know how crazy the city gets the colder it is. Ah! And just who might this be, Gongjunim?”
Head snapping from where he’d stood stuck in his thoughts, Namjoon turned towards the direction where the voice had suddenly come from. His mother's fiance suddenly glancing at him expectantly as the question had lingered awkwardly between them.
Lips parting as he’d stepped forward to bow before the elder, Namjoon had tried his best to utter his name; his cheeks almost blooming red hot as he had felt every gaze quickly land and focus directly on him.
It had been almost unbearable, but as he’d stared at the ground with a burning heat spreading throughout his limbs, Namjoon had figured it was best just to get things over with.
The last thing he’d needed would have been for his mother to jump on his case for coming across as arrogant, even if he had felt the slightest annoyed by everything that was happening around him.
Not like Namjoon had had a say in it anyways.
“It's a pleasure to finally meet you, sir, my name is Namjoon,” he’d stuttered after he’d taken a sharp inhale of breath, the sound of his voice sounding so low he’d been sure no one had caught it over the breeze that’d stirred slowly around him.
But thankfully, the man had had no problem hearing him clearly; the look on his face a friendly one as he’d beckoned Namjoon forward as a bright smile had quickly decorated his features.
“Ah, Namjoon! Your mother’s told me so much about you. I’m Min Daeseong, but there's no need to be so formal. A shame we haven't been able to meet each other until now,” Daeseong had huffed after their introduction, the deep timbre of his voice having made Namjoon smile softly as he’d held the other’s gaze for a moment longer.
Leave it to his mother to find the nicest man in town… and probably the richest too, Namjoon had thought bitterly as he’d watched his mother's smile grow thin and her hands tighten around Daeseong's arm reflexively.
“Yah my love, you know how busy kids are these days. It's a miracle I managed to drag him out of school for this at all, right Joonie?” she chuckled as she’d turned to bat her eyes up at the man looming over her; Namjoon’s eyes growing dark as the pet name had sounded foreign on the lips of the one person he knew had never once called him any type of endearment.
Jaw growing tight as he’d nodded, Namjoon had smiled tightly as Daeseong's focus had landed back on him; the heat on his skin easily ignored as he’d tried to sound as personable as possible.
“Yes eomma, you know me. Always in a book.” He’d breathed out softly, the performance met with a pleased smile as his mother had relaxed her grip on the smiling man beside her.
Only she hadn't stayed pleased for long, something Namjoon couldn't have seen quickly gaining her attention as her smile had fallen abruptly and her eyes had sharpened quickly.
“Oh, boys! I'm sorry, I hadn't seen you there. Come, let me introduce my son.”
Head whipping around to where his mother had been looking off to, Namjoon gulped as the figures by the vehicle had suddenly come closer. Their footsteps muffled by the tall grass, Namjoon had watched quietly as they’d slowly made their way to stop just a few feet away from him.
And that's when Namjoon had finally seen them completely.
The two most beautiful boys he’d ever had the luck of meeting standing before him as the sun had shone directly above them.
And almost instantly, Namjoon had known he was screwed. Had known himself to be a mess of words as his lips had failed him once the boys had stood waiting for him to speak as he’d raced for something to say.
But much to his mother's growing disappointment, Namjoon had not been able to find the right thing to say; his lips quickly pulled into a thin line as he’d heard his mother snap at him from a few feet away.
“Namjoon, don't be rude. Introduce yourself to Daeseong’s boys,” his mother hissed when his silence had gone on for too long, the sound of his mother's voice sounding as light as possible as she’d smiled softly in his direction.
But Namjoon couldn't be fooled that easily.
He could always see it, could always spot the barely hidden threat swimming beneath the surface of his mother's intense gaze as he’d sighed heavily and shuffled awkwardly toward the quiet boys standing before him.
Mouth going dry as he’d nodded reluctantly to his mother's request, Namjoon willed himself to stand straighter and turn to finally meet the pair's gaze; his hands soon balling into fists held tightly to his sides as Namjoon had felt his heart thud sharply against his ribcage.
Leaning forward as he’d taken a deep breath, Namjoon cleared his throat and bowed deeply at the quiet strangers standing only a few feet away.
“Hello, it's nice to meet you. My name is Namjoon, please take good care of me,” he’d whispered as his voice shook by the end of his sentence; The sight of the boy's shoes the only thing visible in his line of sight as he’d waited nervously for one of them to finally say something.
Gaze trained on the ground beneath him, Namjoon had waited for what felt like hours before he heard another sound.
But to his surprise, the boys don’t say much to him nor do they give him much of a response.
Frowning at the sound of the shorter ones' uninterested hum, Namjoon had blinked slowly through the fringes of his hair as he’d awkwardly moved to stand back into place.
Only when Namjoon does manage to finally be upright again, the look on the taller brother's face quickly catches him off guard; the dark gaze settling over him making Namjoon gulp nervously as he’d wondered if he’d done something to offend the dark-haired boy standing stiffly before him.
Surely it hadn't been something he’d said, right?
Fidgeting as he’d felt the other's gaze drag slowly across his features, Namjoon willed himself to finally look away. The worry soon creasing his forehead as he wondered how something so small as an introduction could have made the others so upset.
Avoiding their gaze as best as he could, Namjoon had turned towards the spot where his mother had stood waiting, that same smile from before plastered on her lips sending shivers down his spine as she’d taken in the way the boys had stood taller behind him.
Namjoon figured it would’ve been safe to say they wouldn't be bonding anytime soon.
By the way he’d stepped forward to clear his throat and dispel the sudden tension, it seemed Daeseong had probably surmised the same.
“Alright, then. Now that that's been taken care of, why don't we go out and head into the city? I've got a spot at a place you’ll love, and I'm sure we can all learn more about each other over a nice meal, yeah?” he’d asked as he’d turned to look between Namjoon’s mother and his son’s, the three quickly sharing sharp looks between themselves before turning to smile and nod at him slowly.
“Yes love, that's a perfect idea. Come, let's go before it gets dark,” Namjoon’s mother had uttered sweetly, her hands returning to their spot around Daeseongs' arms as he’d smiled and turned to lead the way.
And so, as his mother and Daeseong had walked towards the front of the car while Namjoon had no choice but to reluctantly follow; his feet moving slowly across the grass as he’d turned toward the area where the others had stood waiting.
But as Namjoon had begun to head their way, Daeseong’s sons wasted no time in quickly following their father; their backs soon facing Namjoon in a heartbeat as they’d turned on their heels and headed toward the sleek car doors just a few feet away from them.
Feeling his limbs grow heavy as he’d watched them from a distance, Namjoon had wondered if this would be the way they'd keep treating him from now on; their silence evidence enough to prove his theory as he’d watched them come to a stop by the back of the vehicle while they continued to ignore his very existence.
Picking up his pace as his own frustration had grown, Namjoon had huffed as he’d walked faster; his heart practically thudding in his ears when he finally managed to catch up to the others as he’d fought to catch his breath.
Only when Namjoon did finally manage to peer into the vehicle just when he came up beside it did he realize there was a much bigger problem on his hands now.
One he knew needed to be addressed before he could even get inside the damn car.
“....Fuck,” cursing under his breath as he’d taken in the two rows of seats in the back, Namjoon had felt his chest grow tight as he had known what it meant. In order to fit inside, he’d either have to ride in the back by himself or worse; have to sit next to one of the brothers who clearly didn't want anything to do with him.
Almost feeling as if the gods were playing some cruel joke on him, Namjoon took a deep breath and turned toward where the boys were standing. Too occupied to see him while they whispered heatedly between each other, the brothers had huddled close together just a few feet away from him.
Unable to hear them over the wind, Namjoon figured he had nothing to lose if he asked to ride with either one of them.
Not like they could reject him any more than they already had, Namjoon had thought bitterly as he’d begun to approach them slowly.
Biting down hard on the inside of his cheek, Namjoon took a deep breath and stepped forward to call out to the boys who hadn't noticed him standing nearby.
“Uh...Would it be alright if I rode with you….um,” Namjoon had started as he’d come forward to catch the shorter ones' gaze suddenly, the pair turning abruptly at the sound of his voice whilst the wind began to pick up its pace around them.
But the question on Namjoon's lips had died almost immediately once it suddenly dawned on him that he had yet to learn either of their names.
It was then Namjoon had realized the brothers hadn't bothered to tell their names when he’d introduced himself. The fact that they hadn't thought him worthy of knowing such a small thing about themselves made his mouth go dry as a sharp pang had suddenly dug deep into his chest.
And God, could things have possibly gotten any worse between them?
To his dismay, the situation doesn't get much better.
Or well, not for Namjoon anyway.
Ignoring Namjoons question as he’d glanced briefly into the back seat, the shorter one pointed a finger at himself and then thrust it toward the dark-haired boy standing behind him. Their glares burning just as dark as the first time Namjoon had first seen them.
“....Yoongi, he’s Jungkook,” the shorter one had spat lowly, the three words uttered roughly as the pale one named Yoongi hadn't even bothered to turn to look at Namjoon before brushing past him to dive into the first row of empty seats.
Frown growing deeper as he’d felt his breath catch in his throat, Namjoon had turned to glance at the dark-haired one he could only assume was Jungkook. Surely he’d talk to him, right? Or maybe offer to sit with him at least?
But by the way Jungkook had glanced at him before jumping into the seat next to Yoongi without a single word, Namjoon reasoned that yeah, maybe that wasn't going to happen any time soon.
Face turning red as it burned like a lit flame, Namjoon had fought back the humiliation that had seemed to cover almost every inch of him. And so, he’d had no choice but to swallow his pride and push past the others as he had soon dived into the empty seat behind them.
Falling awkwardly into his seat, Namjoon barely had enough time before the door shut behind him and the car finally lurched forward; Daeseong and his mother soon filling the car with mindless conversation as Namjoon had fought to adjust to the small space he was now stuck in. Fidgeting against the coarse leather as he finally settled into place, Namjoon huffed as he let himself peer out at the trees and lights now blurring past him.
It had all looked so peaceful; the world blending together into a colorful mess whilst Namjoon had watched the autumn leaves swirl and dance on the ground while the cars kicked them up into the air as they flew by.
Smiling bitterly, Namjoon had found himself wishing for something similar. The way the leaves had danced making him yearn for the same type of freedom when he felt the car take a sharp turn and head deeper into the city.
Watching as the trees had soon fallen behind and tall, looming buildings quickly began to take their place, Namjoon had wondered for the briefest second if he learned to dance like the leaves in the wind, would he feel as heavy and tied down as he did now?
Would he then know what it would feel like… to be free?
Sinking deeper into his seat as Yoongi and Jungkook had talked lowly amongst themselves in the seat before him, Namjoon had soon let his attention slip elsewhere. City lights reflecting off the dark tinted windows, Namjoon let the car ride lull him into a gentle haze as he let the world finally slip away from him.
He was tired and overwhelmed but most of all, Namjoon was dejected. His hopes and dreams had crashed down around him with an alarming quickness, the realization that no matter how many people he met, he’d always feel alone only making matters worse as he had felt the world start to fade around him.
Eyes feeling heavy as he’d kept them closed, Namjoon sighed as he felt that pain from before return in full force; the hurt digging deeper into his skin this time around as he’d felt the car twist and turn through the labyrinth that was Seoul's inner city.
And so, upon reaching their destination just a few torturous minutes later, Namjoon had gasped once their car finally came to a stop in front of a restaurant he was sure could serve you unicorn if you asked them nicely.
But as he’d exited the vehicle to follow Daeseong and his mother up huge granite steps into the nicest building he had ever seen with Yoongi and Jungkook following silently behind them, Namjoon couldn't have found it in himself to possibly enjoy it.
Not when he couldn't shake the look he’d seen in Yoongi's eyes as he had ignored him nor could he forget the deafening thud of Jungkook's silence as he’d waited for him to say anything to him but had ultimately said nothing at all.
Frown growing on his features as he’d been made to sit at a table made of shimmering marble, Namjoon had sunk deeper into his chair as a grande room of strangers buzzed noisily around him; the words coming from the people around him falling on deaf ears as Namjoon had felt himself go through the motions for the rest of that cold night they’d spent together oh so long ago.
It’d been like a haze, a dense fog he had trouble shifting through, but thankfully, Namjoon still had some memories about that night, if not most of them.
He remembers sitting at a table with the people who were supposed to be his new family, remembers how they’d talked and tried to get to know each other as cordially as possible.
But what Namjoon remembered the most whenever he thought back to this moment hidden deep within his memory, was the way the boys had looked at him whenever he spoke or moved an inch too far or too close. Their gazes locked onto him for the rest of the night as their dinner had progressed and the words they’d shared between them had grown to almost none.
And really, Namjoon should have known; should have known nothing good could have come from something so odd and intense.
But it had…and by the time Namjoon had come to realize it, it was already too late.
He’d already fallen…
Only this time, Namjoon hadn't fallen on his own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7 years later
When Namjoon was thirteen, his life had been forever changed.
At the time, Namjoon hadn't quite been able to understand it; the world he’d known from a young age being ripped from his fingers as he’d been forced to leave it all behind always left a bitter taste in his mouth whenever he tried to think back to when all of this had first happened.
Only now, seven whole years later, Namjoon knew he’d definitely been cursed since the start.
It's the only way his life now made sense to him.
You see at first when Namjoon and his mother had finally managed to move into his new father's home, Namjoon had figured this new life wouldn't be so hard getting used to.
From a one-bedroom apartment where the heat never worked to a two-story condo on the good side of town, Namjoon figured it was a good enough trade for all the trouble he’d gone through.
Call him selfish, but Namjoon knew he deserved the damn break.
Only things didn't stay as peaceful for as long as he’d hoped they would; Namjoons relationship with the brothers only seeming to grow worse more than it tended to get better in the new place he’d barely gotten used to calling his home.
Whether it was arguing over what room would be his or the hushed snickering he’d hear whenever he’d unpack a new collection of books or art pieces he was fond of, Namjoon was not blind to what the brothers thought of him.
Nor had they ever once tried to hide it.
And at first, Namjoon had been able to manage. Had learned how to ignore their teasing as the years had gone by. Had learned how to keep himself occupied while Yoongi and Jungkook did their best to do the same and keep the distance between them.
And for a while, Namjoon was glad to say this worked.
That is until something changed…And things were never the same after that.
It’d been a weekend when it happened.
About a month or two after his 20th birthday, Namjoon had found himself alone at home with nothing else better to do other than to go completely insane.
But Namjoon was used to that by now. Had been for a good couple of years actually.
Of course, when they’d first gotten married to each other, Namjoon had known Daeseongs business dealt with companies overseas and of course, Namjoon knew his mother. He knew the ever-devoted wife would sooner or later trail right after him and it wouldn't be long before Namjoon would soon see less and less of her.
And like clockwork, Namjoon had been right.
It wasn't long before his mother started going on more trips leaving him longer and longer on his own and really Namjoon hadn't minded it. After spending so many nights on his own back when his mother had worked in the city, Namjoon had grown to appreciate his own company; so really, he didn't mind how long nor how far she stayed away.
To Namjoon, her absence was all the same.
He was certain he could do fine just on his own.
But soon, Namjoon found living in the city while his parents traveled the world left him with no other company than the one he was currently stuck with. And really…how do you ignore the only other people living in your house when they seemed set on making you absolutely miserable when you had no one else to turn to?
Newsflash, you didn’t.
And so while staying at home had first seemed like a good idea, Namjoon had learned fast it was a seriously lonely business.
Although having brothers who ignored his very existence was even more challenging for him to get used to.
And really, Namjoon had found this the hardest thing to come to peace with.
He’d had such high hopes when both their parents had finally gotten married; his heart growing warm to the idea that now that their union was official, he’d be welcomed with open arms by the two men who were to be his brothers for as long as the gods seemed fit.
But unfortunately for Namjoon, life never seemed to be that easy.
Or just not for him, it seemed.
To his growing frustration, Namjoon had watched as Yoongi and Jungkook only seemed to grow closer over the years; the two always keeping Namjoon at a distance no matter how hard he tried to form any type of connection with them.
And somehow, before he could even try to make peace or get to know them or vice versa, Namjoon had seen it. Had finally seen with a sinking heart how the boys he’d been trying so hard to connect to, had turned into men right before his very eyes, and by then, It was already too late to change the damage time had already done.
Namjoon had no hopes of building a bond with people who didn't care enough to make one with him in the first place.
And so, Namjoon had tried to move on; had decided to keep to himself and ignore the pair until he was ready to head out on his own or until he found something else better to keep himself occupied with.
But Namjoon had to admit, he was lonely.
And seeing Yoongi and Jungkook grow and flourish from a distance had been as hurtful to him as much as it'd been troubling.
Why?
Well for starters, their looks had proven a much bigger distraction to him than Namjoon would have liked to admit to.
But that hadn't been entirely Namjoon’s fault nor could he be blamed for looking at what marvels the brothers had grown up to become.
You see, where Jungkook had grown stronger, Yoongi had grown sharper; both their shoulders wide and broad as they’d stood taller with an aura of power that seemed to radiate directly from the both of them.
What had once been soft, delicate features were now nothing but taunt muscles and sharp edges; The shape of Jungkook's and Yoongi's frames now closer to the Greek statues Namjoon had seen depicted in most of the art books he now spent much of his time pouring over.
They made a striking pair, if not a blinding one, and Namjoon had watched it all happen; had watched them change before his very eyes as he himself had grown into someone he almost didn't recognize as time flew by.
And Namjoon believed his changes were definitely worth noting.
No longer the once lanky, awkward teen he’d been when his mother had first met Daeseong and his children, Namjoon rejoiced in knowing he was now a completely different person.
Or well…just physically, at least.
Nonetheless, Namjoon liked the way his body had filled out over the years and the way his features had softened just enough to not look too harsh or rough. He liked the way his hair framed his face and how his eyes had a curve to them that made them shine with intensity whenever he was focused on something difficult.
He liked many things about himself, he truly did.
But there was something that annoyed Namjoon about himself to no end, a trait of his that he’d grown to detest over the course of his time spent here in his new home.
His uncanny ability to know whenever someone was watching him; the feeling annoying him to the highest degree as he fought to grow accustomed to his own useless version of a sixth sense.
Only Namjoon had been feeling that familiar sensation for years now. Had felt it grow stronger and stronger the longer he stayed alone in what was supposed to be his tall and empty house.
Or more specifically, Namjoon had felt it strongly that evening when he found himself lounging on what was supposed to be just another lonely and seemingly boring day.
Keyword, supposed to.
Sprawled out in his empty living room after finishing a few passages of his worn but favorite book, Namjoon had felt his eyes grow drowsy; his limbs starting to relax and sink into the velvet cushions of the couch beneath him as he’d felt the book slowly start to grow heavy in his grasp.
He’d had a restless night's sleep the night before and as he felt his book slip from his hands and fall to the ground with a soft ‘thud’, Namjoon let his eyes fall closed and yawned as sleep suddenly took him.
Only Namjoon’s sleep didn’t last for long.
Nor his peace of mind either.
He didn't know how long he’d been asleep, maybe an hour or two he wasn't quite sure. But however long Namjoon had spent sleeping, it’d been long enough for the sun to now hang low on the horizon; the deep orange glow seeping in through the ceiling-length windows basking Namjoon in a hue of soft, golden-colored light as he tried to rouse himself from his deep sleep.
Eyes blinking open slowly, Namjoon yawned as he’d stretched; his awkward spot on the couch making his joints hurt once he shifted into a more comfortable position. It seemed no matter which way he moved, Namjoon just couldn't find a place to relax or hold still.
Brows furrowing as he’d tsked loudly from the frustration, Namjoon had huffed before turning to lay flat on his stomach; his legs stretched out behind him as he’d felt his limbs finally relax and his frame rest easily against the cushions as he found some sort of comfort in the ruffled velvet beneath him.
Content sigh falling from his lips, Namjoon had let the sun's fading warmth wash over him; his eyes falling closed once again as sleep slowly took him.
But then, a few minutes later…Namjoon felt it.
That same unsettling and unmistakable feeling of eyes crawling over his skin he just couldn't seem to ignore.
And almost immediately, Namjoon was wide awake.
Eyes snapping open as he jolted upright, Namjoon blinked against the light as he frowned deeply; his eyes slowly readjusting to his hazy surroundings as he reached up a hand to wipe away the sleep still clinging to his eyelids. Groaning as he stifled a yawn, Namjoon took a look around the room and tried to see what it was that had caused him to stir so suddenly.
Only when his vision finally cleared, Namjoon was able to understand what had happened.
Or better yet, what was still happening right in front of him.
Eyes going wide as a gasp was ripped from his lips, Namjoon felt the air knocked out of him as he took in the sudden figure now standing just a few feet away from him. Sharp amber eyes quickly finding his own, it didn't take Namjoon long to figure out just who was behind that unsettling feeling from before.
Standing in the shadows of the setting sun, Jungkook's unmistakable frame stood clearly in Namjoon's view; his lips set into the tightest line as his jaw clenched from where he eyed Namjoon intensely.
Only Jungkook wasn't looking at Namjoon directly, or not really at least.
In fact, Jungkooks attention seemed to be drawn elsewhere, his eyes narrowed in on something lower on the couch that Namjoon couldn't see. His lips pulling into a sudden yet confused frown, Namjoon turned as he tried to follow Jungkook’s burning gaze with his own.
And that’s when Namjoon had finally noticed it. Had felt the dots finally connect as he caught sight of what had jungkook's attention like nothing else in the room possibly could.
Somehow, maybe while he’d been shifting uncomfortably on the couch, Namjoon hadn't noticed the way his clothes had shifted; his shorts riding up higher on his thighs as more skin than Namjoon was used to could now easily be seen.
Not leaving much to the imagination, Namjoons skin had almost seemed to glow under the golden rays as he’d felt his gut immediately sink and his heartbeat pound against his ribcage at the sudden realization.
Sharp gasp leaving his lips as he noticed his exposed thighs, Namjoon barely had enough time to find something to cover himself with; the loose straps of his faded and worn tank top falling to hang loosely from his shoulders as he moved around frantically and continued to look around for anything to hide beneath.
But Namjoon had found nothing, not a blanket or a shawl anywhere in his reach as he’d sat wide-eyed on the cushions in shock and disbelief.
In the back of his mind, Namjoon knew he should have been yelling, knew he should have been on his feet with his arms crossed over his chest in a heartbeat as he demanded to know what Jungkook thought he was doing. He knew how he should have been acting and yet…
Namjoon had done nothing; his lips unable to conjure the words he should have yelled at the top of his lungs as he’d watched Jungkook inhale sharply and stare at him in silence.
And there was only one reason behind Namjoons silence once he felt his breath shake and his mouth suddenly go dry.
The reason being the way Jungkook had not once tried to look away from him, not when Namjoon had caught him looking nor when he’d moved to shield himself from view.
Instead, as Jungkook's tattooed hand clutched the workout bag hanging from his shoulder tightly, Jungkook had kept his eyes trained on Namjoon’s body as his gaze had narrowed and his nostrils had seemed to flare.
And all at once, Namjoon realized something far more startling; felt his breath freeze in his lungs as his heartbeat raced and jumped as he inhaled sharply against his cushioned seat.
Because dear God….how long had Jungkook been staring? How long had he stood there watching Namjoon while he lay against the cushions oblivious to the world around him? How long had he watched as Namjoons shorts had ridden up and grown shorter and shorter?
And that's when Namjoon began to worry; his mind a racing whirlwind of questions as the two men stood in a tense yet unbroken silence.
Only Namjoon doesn't get to worry for long, the silence seemingly shattering around them as his lips moved before either of them could stop it.
“Jungkook-” he tried after he’d finally managed to gather himself enough to speak, Namjoon’s voice sounding shaky even to his own ears as he’d licked his bottom lip nervously and moved to stand from the couch he’d still been sitting on.
But as he suddenly spoke, Jungkook didn't wait for Namjoon to finish; his eyes ripped away from Namjoon’s frame as the sound of Namjoon's voice seemed to break Jungkook from whatever spell had kept him frozen in place.
Moving across the room as if he couldn't get away fast enough, Jungkook didn't say a word as he hitched his bag higher up his shoulder; the fringes of his ink-black hair coming forward to cover his sharp amber eyes as he made to brush past the couch without a single glance in Namjoon’s direction.
Eyes trailing after him while his words died on his lips, Namjoon had watched the other as he’d avoided his gaze and his presence completely; the last thing he’d seen as Jungkook had walked away being the dark workout bag swinging wildly behind him as he’d dived into the hallway and seemingly disappeared from his view.
And then Namjoon was alone, the house quieter than it had ever really been.
….or that’s what Namjoon thought, anyway.
Suddenly, a few minutes after he had watched jungkook disappear abruptly, Namjoon jumped when something thudded against his back and softly landed by his side; the warm, dark blue cotton caressing his skin making Namjoon blink slowly in surprise as a voice cut through the air while he stared wide-eyed at the blanket now resting against his legs.
Behind him, his voice low as it echoed across the room clearly, Jungkook stood with his gaze pointed towards the ground; his eyes still hidden behind the fringes of his hair as he pointed to the blanket now laying limply in Namjoon’s lap.
“....Cover up.....You’ll catch a cold if you don't…,” he spat almost mechanically, his jaw tightly clenched as he didnt wait for any type of answer; his back already to Namjoon as he turned to head down the hall and back towards his bedroom where Namjoon was sure he couldn't follow.
But Namjoon had questions, he had so many of them; he couldn't just let Jungkook go without asking one first at least.
Voice ringing through the air before he could stop himself, Namjoon called out to stop Jungkook in his path; a million things running through his mind as he tried to keep up with the events currently happening around him.
Frustratingly, Namjoon realized he’d never be that fast.
“Wait, Jungkook-” he yelped but Jungkook had been quick to cut him off.
“.....what?” he snapped, his answer short and curt as he avoided Namjoons gaze and briefly glanced over his shoulder.
Gulping as he’d clutched the blanket tightly in his grasp, Namjoon cleared his throat as he nodded towards the front door; a question he hadn't expected to fall from his lips echoing in the space between them as Namjoon tried to catch Jungkook's hidden gaze.
“Is….is Yoongi-,” he started to ask, but once again, Jungkook beat him to the punch.
“He’s out. Gonna be for a while.” he muttered and with not another word said between them nor a single glance sent his way, Jungkook turned back towards the hall and walked away before Namjoon could try to stop him again.
And only then was Namjoon truly and finally alone; the sun no longer in the sky as a partially obscured moon now peaked behind clouds drifting slowly across a dark sapphire-colored sky outside.
Sitting there in the darkness, his book long forgotten and sleep the farthest thing from his mind, Namjoon had sat with his hands clutched tightly onto the blanket as if his very life depended on it.
Because to him, in the weirdest way, it felt like it did.
Smelling of jasmine and pine, Namjoon felt his heart race as he placed the smell now laying in his lap; the scent of Jungkook's perfume caught in the fabric making Namjoon gulp as he tried and failed to will himself to stand and somehow make it back to the comfort of his room.
Namjoon remembers clearly how much he’d struggled that day; knows how even when he’d finally managed to stand and shuffle brainlessly towards his room, how sleep did not come for him once that night.
And really, Namjoon knew he could have ignored it; knew he could have erased that incident from his mind and buried it somewhere deep in his memory.
He was so sure he could make himself believe that whatever Jungkook had been up to that day had been nothing but a harmless coincidence.
He could easily forgive and forget if he’d tried hard enough for his own sanity.
Or at least he could have if it hadn't been for what occurred not a few days later….
The day the shower incident confirmed many of Namjoon's suspicions and formed newer ones that quickly seemed to consume Namjoon whole.
He remembers it clearly; could almost feel the mist forming around him as he’d been enveloped in the warmest spray of falling water.
It’d been a Tuesday, his parents still not back from their trip and the house as empty as Namjoon had found it when he’d returned home from a canceled science lecture that evening.
He’d been tired that day, worn out after racing through the city to catch the closest train to his campus after missing the first one; his body feeling gross as a sheen of sweat had clung to him like a second skin as he’d tossed his belongings aside and wasted no time in heading for his bathroom door.
In no time, he’d undressed; his clothes soon forming a pile on the smooth tile beneath him as he’d turned the nozzle to the highest degree before reaching out to test the water before gingerly making his way inside.
Sighing loudly as the hot water had run down his back, Namjoon had let himself enjoy what little peace and tranquility the shower had been able to provide. His days had been nothing but endless confusion, stress seeping into his bones as he’d struggled to find sleep that never seemed to come anymore.
So letting the spray wash over him, Namjoon had let the water comfort him; his scented body wash making him sigh deeply as the air filled with the scent of strawberries and cream.
But just like that first time, peace never seemed to last Namjoon long; his brows soon growing furrowed as he turned to wash the soap foaming and already slipping down his back.
And would he be damned if Namjoon had not felt that cursed feeling wash over him again; a burning trail sliding down his back as Namjoon whirled around to look through his fogged glass door as his eyes suddenly snapped open.
Water hitting the tile shower floor the only sound that could be heard, Namjoon knew he wasn't going crazy. He swore could feel it again, could feel it like a hand trailing slowly across his skin as he shivered under the scorching water.
Someone was watching him again.
And Namjoon knew there was only one person it could possibly be.
Jungkook.
Hand immediately shooting upward to wipe the water slipping from his face, Namjoon turned the nozzle off as the last remnants of soap fell from his skin and slowly circled down the drain. Air feeling tense and humid, Namjoon hesitated for the slightest second as he reached to push open his shower door.
He waited for a second, maybe two; his ears straining to catch the smallest sound as his eyes never left the bathroom door that now stood slightly open. The door Namjoon could have sworn he’d closed shut only moments before.
It felt like forever before he moved again, but Namjoon was sure his pause couldn't have lasted longer than a couple of seconds; his eyes blinking slowly as he contemplated turning back around and flipping the nozzle back to full blast to allow the water to fall back over him.
Resolve starting to slip, Namjoon frowned deeply as he slowly began to turn. Moving cautiously at the promise of warm water washing away what must have been some leftover paranoia, Namjoon felt himself almost convinced nothing in the house had made a single sound.
But just as quickly as the thought had come, it was gone in an instant; Namjoon’s breath stilling in his lungs as he heard it.
And finally, there it was, the soft thud of footsteps moving softly down the hall; the movement cautious but quick as if the person making the sound just couldn't move fast enough to get away without being noticed
But Namjoon had noticed.
Only this time, Namjoon knew what it was he had to do and just how fast he would have to do it.
Jumping out of the shower with a quickness that wasn't usual for him, Namjoon reached for his towel resting on the counter and immediately threw it around his frame. Wincing from the cold tile hitting the bottom of his feet, Namjoon ignored it as his steps echoed throughout the porcelain room as he rushed towards the door.
Hand curling around the freezing doorknob just a few seconds later, Namjoon felt the slightest hesitation almost stop him in his tracks; a sudden doubt filling him for the briefest second before he shook the feeling away and ultimately decided to throw the door wide open.
“Hey-” he’d half whispered-half yelled, but the words didn't make it far; the sound of his own voice bouncing back at him almost startling him as he turned toward where the sound had first come from.
Head peeking out into the hallway as droplets of water flew all around him, Namjoon looked into the hall and had just enough time to see Jungkook's bedroom door slam shut; the bang ringing loudly in his ears making him wince as Namjoon stood in the bathrooms door frame with wide and startled eyes.
And dear gods….He’d been right.
Namjoon was sure he was being watched.
And by none other than Jungkook himself.
Breath growing shaky as he pulled his head back into the room, Namjoon shook as the water dripped from his skin and slinked chillingly down his spine. Chest growing tight as the bathroom door closed shut beneath his fingertips, Namjoon stood frozen in place as he felt his mind try to keep up with the confirmation of his sneaking suspicions.
And really Namjoon doesn't remember how long he stands against the bathroom door, his eyes unfocused as he’d stared at the damp tiles laying beneath his feet. But soon, Namjoon begins to feel his body start to shake; his hands clutching the towel closer to his bare chest as he tried to find some kind of warmth beneath it.
Time moving slowly as his mind raced, it's not long before Namjoon soon finds himself back in the shower under the scorching hot water. Moving through a fog with no memory of how he did it, Namjoon feels himself go through the motions until the water finally stops flowing and his skin soon grows dry.
Frown etched on his lips as he tried to remember how he did it, it's a miracle in itself when Namjoon somehow ends up fully dressed and standing in the middle of his room without a single clue on what to do or think next.
But the one thing Namjoon could remember and think about was the way his skin had burned whenever he’d moved or looked away; the feeling almost impossible to forget as Namjoon could still feel that lingering gaze washing over him whenever his clothes brushed softly against his skin.
And after that moment, Namjoon knew nothing would ever be the same for him.
Soon, Namjoon would come to find out Jungkook wouldn't be the first to catch him off guard nor would Jungkook be the only one Namjoon would catch looking…
Thinking back as he was now, Namjoon knew there’d been signs.
But only now could he admit to himself he’d always ignored them in favor of keeping his sanity.
He’d been naive to ignore it and this time, Namjoon knew his naivety had cost him the last bit of peace he would ever find.
Not like he’d had any to begin with anyway, Namjoon sighed.
Later that same night after the abrupt event in the shower, Namjoon had tossed and turned in his bed as the clock on his bedside table had ticked past three in the morning; his ears straining to catch every sound in the house as the minutes had seemed to drag tediously by.
But to Namjoon’s disappointment, there hadn’t been much for him to catch. Not a single sound to be heard in the house besides the shaky huff of Namjoon’s uneven breathing echoing in the stiff silence that surrounded him.
Or that is until he heard the front door suddenly click open before swiftly banging shut just a few seconds later.
And really, there was only one person Namjoon knew it could be at such a late hour.
Yoongi.
Great.
Sighing deeply as he shifted restlessly on his bed, Namjoon chewed his bottom lip between his teeth as he wondered if he should maybe go out and see what his brother was currently up to. Wincing slightly as a nagging voice soon pushed him to rise to his feet, Namjoon felt himself begin to wonder if maybe he should share with Yoongi what it was that had happened earlier that evening.
Or well, what Namjoon suspected had happened anyway.
Taking a deep breath as he strained his ears to catch any commotion out in the hall, Namjoon kept his eyes trained on the ground as he slowly took a hesitant step toward his door. Lips pulling into a tight line as he focused entirely on not making a sound, Namjoon kept going until his doorway was an arm's length away.
And finally, that's when Namjoon heard it; the sound of Yoongi's deep and lulling voice echoing softly down the hall. Instantly, goosebumps bloom over Namjoons slightly exposed skin; the sound of Yoongi's voice like a siren's call he couldn't resist as he gulped and finally wrapped his hand around his doorknob.
And in that small moment, as he stood listening to the sound of his brother's hypnotic voice Namjoon was convinced Yoongi would know what to do about his problem.
He was sure of it.
But of course….Namjoon should have known better.
There was just no telling with the Min brothers.
He doesn't know how long he stands in his doorway with his hand latched onto his door, but the minute Yoongi's voice begins to fade, Namjoon feels his hand turn the knob and his feet quickly begin to move forward on their own accord.
In the blink of an eye, Namjoon soon finds himself out of his room and down the hall in no time; the entrance to his living room and kitchen sitting empty before him. Coming to an abrupt stop as he felt his brows crease and his lips pull down into a small frown, Namjoon eyed the empty space as he looked for the one person he had come to see.
How was the kitchen empty all of a sudden? Hadn't he just heard Yoongi in here not too long ago? Had he somehow missed the other while he’d been-
“You’re awake….why?”
Jumping almost a meter into the air, Namjoon balked as a sudden voice boomed loudly by his left side; the deep timber of Yoongi’s unmistakable gruff voice making him fully alert to his surroundings as whirled around to see him.
Mouth falling open as he gawked, Namjoon spun on the spot as if caught doing something he shouldn't be doing; his frame turning stiffly as he was suddenly met with Yoongi's burning and questioning gaze. Sharp eyes now boring intensely into his own, Namjoon took a small step back as he tried to regain what little composure he had left in his body.
Safe to say Namjoon could now sympathize with the deer that seemed to always get caught in the headlights whenever his driver took him into town; his stuttering and unfocused gaze giving him away as he stammered in front of the other's piercing gaze.
Leave it to Namjoon to fall apart without yoongi having to utter a single word.
“Oh! Hey!…. I um…..couldn't sleep…wanted a snack,” Namjoon murmured brokenly as his face suddenly burned with heat; his koala pajamas hugging his frame tightly as Namjoon fidgeted where he stood and clasped his hands out in front of him nervously.
It was very obvious from the way he was standing and staring Namjoon down that Yoongi had been out drinking; the familiar deep flush to the man's cheeks giving the fact away as he stood facing Namjoon and slowly moved to rest against one of the empty kitchen counters.
“Hmmm, a snack? This late at night?” he hummed lowly and Namjoon could only nod as he felt his mouth go dry. Brows quirking upward as he eyed Namjoon closely, Yoongi took a sharp breath as he chuckled dryly; his head tilting slightly to the side as he pretended to think in place for a while.
Whether he was trying to be serious or taunting, Namjoon didn't really know. But what he did know was just how he couldn’t help but find Yoongi's mocking attitude anything short of annoying.
With the way his lips curled into a snide grin as he noticed Namjoon’s growing annoyance, it was safe to say Yoongi could care less about how he came across.
Not that he’d ever cared before anyway.
“Hmmm, I thought your Mother didn't let you get anything past twelve, Namjoon. You're not breaking the rules now are you?” he tsked loudly and Namjoon stood shocked as he’d realized it was the longest Yoongi had ever spoken to him or hell, the first time he’d ever addressed him so directly.
And really, of course it would be Yoongi to leave Namjoon stumbling for an answer as his chest rose and fell quickly.
Mouth going dry as he cleared his throat, Namjoon shook his head as he took a slow step backward; his hands coming undone as he raised his arms to cross them defensively across his chest.
“Um… y’know what? I….I’ll just go back to bed and-,” he spit out as he tried to save face and make an excuse to leave but Yoongi was quick to not let him finish; the words dying on Namjoon's lips as Yoongi suddenly leaned forward and laughed mockingly.
“Mhmm just what I thought Joonie, up to no good at all,” he chuckled loudly into the empty space between them, his words making splotches of red bloom down Namjoon's neck as he felt his heartbeat rise and his lungs freeze as if ice itself was poured right into his chest that he couldnt get rid of.
Somewhere In the back of his mind, deep where his reason seemed to be hiding away at the moment, Namjoon felt the sudden urge to create distance between them slowly start to grow. Feeling his limbs beginning to itch to move away, Namjoon gulped as he wondered if he should take his leave now or wait long enough until a good enough excuse came along.
But with the way Yoongi stared at him…the way his words seemed to wash over him and seemingly root him to the ground….
Well….it was simply hypnotic.
What else could Namjoon do but stay?
Watching closely as Namjoon hesitated, Yoongi knew Namjoon was nothing but fair game.
“Namjoon….you shouldn’t come out this late….you never know who might be lurking out here,” Yoongi whispered teasingly, the sound of his voice like pure silk as Namjoon felt his breath still and his heart beat wildly against his ribcage at the sudden change in the stoic man standing before him.
Gulping as he licked his lips hesitantly, Namjoon cleared his throat as he tried to look anywhere besides Yoongi’s burning gaze. Blinking as he took a small step back, Namjoon felt his frustration start to grow as he failed to find something or anything to say; his words useless and stuck in his throat as he felt his cheeks flush with more burning heat.
“Y-you shouldn't…you shouldn't preach what you don't e-even follow,” Namjoon spat when he could finally speak again but Yoongi only smirked at his response; his shoulders rising and falling lazily as he sighed deeply at Namjoon's evident annoyance.
Leave it to him to get Namjoon so flustered.
Not that he minded making the other fidget, yoongi surmised.
“Comme sée, comme ça Namjoon, you know I don't make the rules.” he spat out sharply, his infuriatingly proud smirk growing across his features as Namjoon’s frown had deepened as he slowly shook his head in exasperation.
There was something about the way Yoongi was looking at him, something primal reflecting back at him as Namjoon fidgeted where he stood. Groaning internally as he watched the other warily, Namjoon reasoned he should have saved himself the trouble and just stayed in bed.
But really, when had he ever listened to reason? When had he ever chosen the right thing?
Clearly never, it seemed.
Suddenly, before Namjoon could turn away as he grew lost in his own troubled thoughts, Yoongi pushed away from the counter and in the blink of an eye closed the space between them. Standing taller than Namjoon as he came to a stop a few inches before him, the air grew thick with tension as Yoongi now loomed over Namjoon’s surprised and taken aback expression.
Breath caught in his throat as Yoongi leaned in impossibly close, Namjoon could only stand frozen as he felt the sudden hot trickle of Yoongi's breath hit sharply against his skin.
“Tell me something, Namjoon…do you do this often?” Yoongi huffed heatedly once they grew closer and Namjoon could only stare wide-eyed in shock as he tried to understand what it was Yoongi was asking.
Mouth opening and closing as he tried to lick his lips, Namjoon stuttered as he leaned back far enough to stare up at the dark-eyed gaze currently glaring down on him.
“What do you mean?…. Do I w-what?” he muttered roughly once words could finally roll off his tongue, the look in Yoongi's eyes growing sharper as his gaze fell to land shamelessly on Namjoon’s plump and slightly parted lips.
A devilish smirk slowly growing on his lips, Yoongi scoffed as he leaned in close enough for only Namjoon to hear.
“What I mean is, do you come looking for me often in the middle of the night, Joonie?” he whispered heatedly, the words washing over Namjoons skin as the scent of whiskey and honey suddenly washed over him as he couldn't help but wither under such a strong and familiar scent.
A scent that smelled so strongly of Min Yoongi and so much more.
Eyes snapping shut as he gasped, Namjoon knew then it was definitely time for him to go.
And that’s exactly what he planned to do, no matter how much he hesitated to stay.
Shaking his head as he ripped his eyes away from Yoongi's piercing gaze, Namjoon took a large step back and pulled himself out of the haze Yoongi had sent him spiraling into. Lips growing taunt as he formed a deep frown, Namjoon took a deep breath as he trained his gaze straight onto the ground.
“I-I….I have to go. Goodnight.” he spat as he refused to meet Yoongi's stare any longer; his hands forming into fists by his side as Namjoon struggled to keep his heartbeat from racing wildly. Skin burning as he listened to Yoongi inhale sharply, Namjoon figured it was best for him not to linger any longer.
And thankfully, he doesn't.
“Namjoon wait-”
Sound of his name the last thing he hears fall from Yoongi's lips, Namjoon ignores the other's call as he all but spins on his heels and moves to rush down the same hall he had tried to quietly tiptoe through much earlier.
Feet moving on their own accord as he stormed down the long passageway, Namjoon kept his gaze trained forward as he headed for the safety he was sure only his room could provide.
Reaching his doorway in record time, Namjoon ignores all reason and thrusts his door wide open before turning right around to slam it shut right behind him. Taking time to make sure the locks were perfectly in place and secure, Namjoon took a step away from his doorway and after a brief pause, allowed himself the chance to finally breathe.
Only when he does get a second to himself, Namjoon soon finds himself panicking as his mind starts to somewhat process what the hell had just happened.
Replaying the scene over and over again, Namjoon stood in his room as he thought of the way Yoongi had spoken to him earlier and how he’d watched him like a bird watches its prey. It seemed no matter which way he thought of it or which way he tried to explain or justify it, Namjoon couldn't seem to wrap his mind around what it was he had just been through nor what it could possibly mean.
Shuffling around his room as he moved through a troubled haze, Namjoon stumbled as the sound of Yoongi's taunting words and hypnotic stare seemingly burned into the back of his mind. Frowning as he tried to comprehend, Namjoon sighed as he tried and failed to find an excuse behind what had just happened.
But as the minutes ticked by and Namjoon soon found himself twisting uncomfortably in his bed, Namjoon knew there was nothing he could come up with that could explain to him either of the Min brother's sudden behaviors.
Safe to say getting help from either brother was now completely out of the question, Namjoon groaned.
Laying in bed as the sun now began to peek through the opening in his blinds, Namjoon felt dread sink in his veins once he realized there was no going back after today. Laying there in the safety of his bedroom behind a locked door, Namjoon realized after what had happened earlier he would never know true peace ever again.
As his eyes began to grow heavy and as sleep soon welcomed him with open arms, Namjoon knew he wouldn’t know it for a very long time.
And unfortunately for Namjoon, it was the only time one of his premonitions would ever come true.
Go figure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~