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Walking Haruto to school had become the most important (but a rather slow) part of Kaito’s day.
He figured he must have grown too accustomed to the frantic pace he had to work at when he was trying desperately to save his brother and then the world. Now a simple daily walk seemed like an excessive and unwise waste of time. Time that felt like it should have been desperately needed somewhere else.
But there wasn’t actually anything more urgent right now. Everything was perfectly fine. Better than fine even! It wasn’t long ago when Haruto struggled to walk at all some days, and now he could reliably make the fifteen minute trip to school and back on a daily basis. Seeing his brother able to walk, eat, and laugh like a normal kid never failed to make Kaito happy.
But more importantly Haruto was excited to go to school, and looking forward to spending time with his new friends. His excitement was everything Kaito had hoped Haruto would get out of going to public school. It had been his idea to enroll him, after all. Kaito himself had never formerly attended school, but he assumed it was something that would make most people feel fulfilled and allow them to form more connections with peers their age.
Ultimately all that mattered was that his brother would get a chance to have all the things he had missed out on. Kaito had gone to rather extreme ends to make sure Haruto was spared the suffocating loneliness of his own childhood, and the despair of feeling like he was constantly in the way of his parents’ more important projects. Always being there for his brother was all he had ever cared about. Haruto needed to know he mattered.
Kaito’s own loneliness was a feeling he had largely forgotten once Haruto was born, but it seemed to be creeping back into his life these days.
While it was objectively pleasant to listen to his brother excitedly chattering about his new friends (who Kaito had never met) and the lessons he was looking forward to in school, Kaito couldn’t help but feel disconnected from Haruto in a way he had never been when he was his sole caretaker.
Admittedly he hadn’t expected to always be close with his brother. A part of him always feared a day when Haruto would find out everything Kaito had done to save him, the dark truths he couldn’t quite understand as a small child. Surely then he would be too disgusted with Kaito and the damage he had done in his name to ever want to even look at him again.
Drifting apart slowly was certainly a more favorable outcome, but one Kaito found himself less prepared for.
It was easy enough not to think about it when he was walking with his brother, but the trips back home after dropping Haruto off were much more challenging.
The weight of his loneliness was so reminiscent of the way he things were when he was child. He felt lost in time and vaguely as if he was the verge of reliving the worst parts of his life all over again. Kaito began to wonder if it was possible that he was actually still dead and wandering through some outer circle of hell or a purgatory of some sort.
But today he was shaken out of his thoughts by a voice calling his name behind him. He turned around to find Mizael, dressed in his school uniform, waving to him with a slight smile.
It was strange to see Mizael looking like an average person. Kaito hadn’t had the chance to spend much time with him since they had all been brought back to life. Everyone had seemed so busy, himself included.
He stopped waking for a moment and waited for Mizael to catch up to him.
“What brings you out here this morning?” Mizael asked.
“I just dropped my brother off at school.” Kaito paused. “Shouldn’t you also be in school?”
Mizael frowned as if he hadn’t considered Kaito might ask him that.
“Yes… but I’m taking today off. As you know I chose to start at a lower year so I could be with my other acquaintances. But because of that I tend to get ahead of them with our coursework,” he said, waving his hand dismissively.
This did not seem to ring true to Kaito, who would have expected the proud dragon tamer to relish such academic superiority.
“I see,” Kaito said, deciding not to press the subject further. “Well, if you don’t have anything better to do today, we could spend some time catching up. There’s a nice park nearby,” he offered.
Admittedly Kaito had fallen into a bad habit of avoiding working at the lab while he knew his father or Tron would be there, so he doubted anyone would think much of him not showing up today. And Mizael’s company was very much a welcomed distraction.
Mizael smiled. “I suppose I have the time today,” he said.
Kaito decided they should stop by a coffee shop on their way over. Mizael had seemed a bit confused and overwhelmed by the selection of lattes and cappuccinos. He appeared greatly unsettled as he tried to read the lengthy menu but kept getting distracted by the line of of impatient business people forming behind them. Ultimately Kaito decided to order him a simple green tea (as well as a coffee for himself), and they continued on their way. But he was a bit concerned he might have unintentionally embarrassed Mizael, as his mood seemed a bit soured.
Kaito was beginning to suspect Mizael felt off balance in this new life, getting easily agitated at the things he didn’t understand or needed help with. He was accustomed to Chris not understanding things from time to time having come from another country, but Mizael was from a different time as well. It had to be a difficult transition, especially for someone as proud as Mizael.
Once they had settled on a bench at the park Mizael had seemed much more content, surrounded by nature. Perhaps something about the trees seemed more familiar to him than the city during its morning rush.
“Ryouga mentioned you had a younger brother,” Mizael said as he carefully removed the lid to his cup. He looked at the lid inquisitively for a moment before setting it down on the bench beside him. “Does he go to our school as well?”
“No, he’s quite a bit younger, and he was very sick when he was little. He’s doing better these days, but he’s just now able to start school,” Kaito said.
He paused. “What else has Ryouga told you about me?”
Mizael laughed, clearly amused. “Not much, just that you live with your brother and father and work in a lab with your old mentor. That sort of thing.” He smiled mischievously. “…And that you defeated him in a duel once.”
“He wasn’t as much of a challenge as you,” Kaito admitted. Though he suspected Ryouga was a very different duelist now. Perhaps a rematch would go differently.
Mizael was quiet for a moment, his face settled in wistful expression as he watched the plants sway in the breeze.
“… I don’t know that I could ever duel again,” Mizael admitted quietly.
“Why is that?” Kaito asked.
“Without being able to use Tachyon it doesn’t feel right,” Mizael said.
Kaito didn’t know how to respond. He had never personally enjoyed dueling as Yuma did, and he had certainly never prided himself on it in the way Mizael had.
Though he supposed he could understand feeling conflicted about how Number 107 had been used to manipulate Mizael into serving the Barian World. His own deck was similarly devised by the people who used him to serve their purposes, and ultimately the Barian World’s interests. Both dragons provided the power needed to accomplish a goal, but at a rather steep price.
“You told me then you were dueling to protect the Barian World. Maybe now that you don’t need to do that anymore you can find meaning somewhere else,” Kaito said. “I know from our duel that you’re very strong and have a good heart, Mizael. I’m sure things will work out.”
Mizael scoffed. “Please. You should know better than anyone how weak I am. Weren’t we both chosen by the galaxy eyes after all?”
Kaito frowned. He didn’t understand Mizael’s sudden change in demeanor. “What do you mean by that?” he asked.
Mizael gave him a sad smile. “You told me the legend of the Numeron Dragon, remember? A being so lonely it gave its life to create the universe, but so frightened of being taken advantage of that it hid its knowledge behind the power of the Numbers.
“Dragons have incredible abilities, but at their core they’re incredibly … pathetic. Despite their great love for humanity, they’re always afraid of being taken advantage of. So they keep to themselves. Then once they’ve made themselves so thoroughly lonely and miserable they end up sacrificing themselves for these lesser beings they were too afraid of to ever connect meaningfully with in life. Desperate to make their lives mean something I assume.”
Mizael turned to look at Kaito. “I can’t imagine they selected us randomly to wield their powers. I’m sure they were searching for people who might understand them best. People who were so much like them, they would never have to worry about us betraying them. The most afraid, loneliest, and miserable. Those with so little self worth they’d be happy to sacrifice themselves for something greater.”
Kaito felt a bit nauseous.
Mizael continued, “I was so honored to be chosen by them. But for all their apparent generosity towards humanity they were always happy to keep me lonely. Galaxy Eyes Tachyon Dragon gave me great power, but it separated me from my past, from knowing who I was.
“And even when I learned the truth I realized I had always lived like the dragons. In the past, dragons had saved me from terrible humans and I dedicated my life to them. I never bothered to learn how to be human. I spent so long being afraid of them and looking down on them, there’s no way I could ever actually be one anymore.”
Mizael sighed. “I thought you must be the same, if the galaxy eyes chose you. If you were willing to give your life to protect those you cared about on the moon. But you seem so comfortable being a person now. I don’t understand,” Mizael admitted.
Kaito wanted to tell him he was right and that Kaito himself had given up on being human when he had taken up number hunting. That he had always been lonely and pathetic and looking for something to sacrifice himself to in order to give his life meaning, just as Mizael had said the legendary dragons had. But his fear of showing weakness had also been deeply ingrained in him, telling him not to give too much away, or he might leave himself open to being manipulated again. And wasn’t that all just as Mizael had said?
“I don’t think being human is easy,” Kaito said carefully. “It takes a lot of effort at least. But I don’t think the dragons wanted you to be alone in figuring it out. They bothered to make two galaxy eyes at least.”
Mizael seemed more at ease as he considered this.
“Kaito, you told me on the moon that you wanted to hear my story one day,” he said.
Kaito nodded. “I still do. When you’re ready to tell it.”
“Of course. I think I’d like to hear yours first though,” Mizael said. “If it’s not too much trouble.”
Kaito looked at Mizael for a moment. He seemed sincere, as he always was, if not a bit more defeated than usual. Kaito couldn’t find it in his heart to refuse his request. If it would help Mizael feel less alone, it would be worth it. Mizael had clearly already earned his trust by giving Yuma the key to the Numeron Code after all.
“Your assumptions are … fairly accurate. I don’t think it’ll surprise you much. But I suppose I have time this afternoon if you’re not going back to school,” Kaito said.
“Thank you Kaito.”
Kaito smiled. “I’d hate for you to get bits and pieces of it from Ryouga first anyway.”