Work Text:
Eileen has no idea what triggered it. One moment she was at her desk in the war room, scanning over a draft, and the next she’s on the floor, trying to remember how to get air into her lungs. Her hands are shaking, heart pounding, hair a tangled mess as she runs her hands through it. Knowing someone could come in at any second is not exactly helping.
Get a grip, Eileen! Her vision is starting to narrow.
She’s still coherent enough to register the sound of footsteps entering the room, but all her brain can manage in response is, Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.
“Eileen?”
It’s Roz. Not her first choice of how this would go, but admittedly not her last either.
Get it together, you’re fine.
The spinning of the room tells her otherwise.
In an instant, Roz’s boot’s appear in front of her, and then Roz herself is kneeling there.
“Eileen, are you okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?”
God, no. She shakes her head.
She can practically feel Roz staring, and then she does feel her, her hand, at the pulse point of her wrist. Roz makes a small sound of discontent as she counts. Then, instead of letting go, she takes Eileen’s hand in her own and settles on the floor with her. Eileen tries to tell her she doesn’t need help, tries to look at her, but her eyes won’t focus, and Roz’s hand is warm and grounding, and, well, maybe this is okay for now.
“Try to breathe just a little slower, copy me.”
Breathe, Eileen, in, out
Roz’s presence beside her is steady, reassuring. Slowly she does remember how to get air into her lungs, and the tension in her shoulders eases a bit. She’s starting to think the worst might be over, takes a deeper breath in, and then bursts into tears.
Like this needed to get any more embarrassing, I don’t even know why I’m crying, for god’s sake-
She’s barely shed a tear in years and now it’s like a dam has broken. She can't help the way her body is shaking. She feels Roz stiffen beside her and hesitate for a moment- before suddenly she’s being drawn into strong arms. Part of Eileen wants to jerk away, yell, but another part of her (the part that’s driving, apparently) melts into her partner. She’s sure she’s getting Roz’s nice jacket all damp and wrinkled with how hard she’s crying. But judging by the way Roz is rubbing her back, she doesn’t mind. She lets Eileen hold on to her until the waves slow down.
“Shit, I'm sorry about that,” says Eileen when she finally feels like she can sit back. She grabs the tissues off of their table and blows her nose loudly. Roz is watching her with a look she can’t quite read.
“Don’t apologize, happens to the best of us.”
Eileen gives her a sideways glance and Roz scoffs at her.
“What, you think I made it through thirty years of my life without my fair share of mental health issues? You can play the tough loner all you want, but don’t tell me I don’t get it.”
Eileen can’t help but agree with that, and Roz visibly softens.
“You should probably-”
“-talk to someone about this, I know,” finishes Eileen.
Roz raises her eyebrows.
“Not the first time then?”
Eileen gives a non-committal shake of her head.
“So should I... stop asking you questions now and let you get back home?”
“The hotel? No, I want to work, god, I need a distraction.”
Roz holds up her hands in defeat- “Alright! Guess you’re feeling better. Mind if I work in here? Or you want some space?”
What Eileen says out loud is, “Whatever, either’s fine.” In her head, she's surprised to find that not only would she not mind Roz staying, she might actually prefer it. Roz studies her with skepticism, but maybe a hint of fondness too. “I’m gonna go get you some water, but I’ll be back.”
Eileen feels like she can breathe a little easier that day, just looking up and seeing her partner there, focused and steady as always. It takes Eileen until the end of the day to work up the courage to say it.
“Roz?”
“Yeah?”
“Um, thanks. For, you know.”
Roz gives her a single nod.
“Anytime.”
As they make their way out of the office together, anyone who starts to comment on Eileen’s red eyes is quickly silenced with one look from Roz.